₦airaland Forum

PEOPLE DON"T YOU THINK THAT ALL THOSE BLA BLA BLA ROMANTICISM IS A PURE PRODUCT OF THE WESTERN WORLD? THEY HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT AND ARE PURSUING BEAUTY!!!
IN AFRICA FOR INSTANCE DO YOU HAVE THAT TIME AND MONEY TO GO GET FLOWER, CHOCOLATE AND SO ON? THAT MONEY IS BETTER USED FOR SOMETHING USEFUL. WE ARE COPYING WAY TOO MUCH WHAT WE HAVE ON TV FROM THE WEST.
LET'S FIND ROMANCE IN THE BASIC STUFF WE DO IN AFRICA. IT IS MORE ENJOYABLE THAN THE NONSICAL WHITE PEOPLE DO..... LOL.

cindyrella: How about a romantic and responsible man? Or is it too much to ask?

Really? Do you live in the real world?
A responsible man is not as romantic as women wants!!!
However the mature women that knows what they want, will hcoose a responsible man. They are the real deal.
Running after romanticism only ends in disaster most of the time.

YES and YES!!!!. Doing house chores doesn't make a man a lesser being. In fact it opens more door for a man and is a good way to avoid a lot of house quarrels. Also you get to do every night as women dig a lot men that do house chore once in a while.

@OP
Something is definitely wrong with you.
I guess you have in your head that any chick is after you and will enchant you or something.
Do you know what is called gesture of interest or love ?
Women like attention and if they like you they will cook for you or clean your house and so on.
You need to learn proper manners!!!!!

Why does she need to get married before she can take care of her brothers?
Does she mean that when you get married with her, it is your duty to provide for her brothers and sisters ? Where are her parents and can they take care of their brothers and sisters? Her pushing you into marriage has nothing to do with her being the older sister!!!! She is not secure and think you will dump her as soon as you graduate from school or when your business take off. You need to reassure her that she is the one.

Dude you need to tell her, you have a plan that she doesn't need to rush u. You both are way too young to get married anyway!!!. Marriage is way more complicated than doing it every night, cooking and cleaning!!!!

STORY OF MY LIFE. I WAS EVEN SLAPED TWICE BECAUSE I WASN'T GIVEN ATTENTION TO THE ONE I SAT WITH IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. I WASN'T EVEN INTERESTED IN HER OR DATING HER...

desari: Nairalanders,

I am a career woman in my late 20's living in the U.S. It has been almost impossible for me to meet good Nigerian men much less Nigerian men at my financial level. As you all know the U.S is very big; i generally don't hang out with Nigerians..not that i don't want to, i just don't know where and how to go about meeting up with my people. When i do go out to naija lounges or clubs in my area, all i find are little kids playing around or 419ers( which i would rather remain single than have anything to do with them). I have tried the church avenue, but i am catholic, and catholic churches in the U.S are much different from naija catholic churches. I live in NYC, so anyone that can give me pointers on where to meet eligible professional Naija men would be great.

I have been very blessed and fortunate in my chosen career, and i would want a partner that can pull his own weight financially in a relationship. Though i have accepted that i would most likely do much better than a potential partner, i can never respect a man that would find it hard to give me money to cook food in the house and take care of some bills, instead of assuming i will take care of it since i make much more. Akatas and white men chase me all day, but i would rather settle down with a Nigerian man(preferably yoruba) i am half yoruba and half something else I grew up in naija, so i speak yoruba and can cook naija food well well.

Let me add that i am well mannered and come from a great family. Guys and girls, if you have single brothers who are financially stable, between 29 and 35 years old looking to settle down, please IM me. Thanks!

MISSY I THINK YOU ARE GOING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER SEARCH THE WRONG WAY. YOU ARE ALSO ASSUMING TWO THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT BE. I'M NOT YORUBA NOR NIGERIAN BUT I HAVE NIGERIA FRIENDS AND DATED A FEW NIGERIAN WOMEN.
1. YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING THAT A GOOD PARTNER WILL ALWAYS BE A NIGERIAN YORUBA MAN. YOU ARE BETTER OFF CONSIDERING ANY AFRICAN MAN, JUDGING THEM BY BEHAVIORS, PRINCIPLES AND POTENTIALS. MY MUM KICKED ME IN THE HEAD ON MY 31ST BIRTHDAY AS I WAS TELLING HER THAT I WILL ONLY MARRY A GIRL FROM TOGO. NOW I'M ABOUT TO GET ENGAGED WITH A GIRL FROM CAMEROON. SHE IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPENNED TO ME. SMOOTH RELATIONSHIP AND ALL. I HAVE FRIENDS I CAN HOOK YOU UP TO BUT THEY ARE NOT NIGERIANS. PM ME I WILL SEND YOU A BOOK FOR YOU TO READ THAT WILL HELP YOU...
2. YOU NEED TO STOP ASSUMING THAT YOU ARE MAKING MORE MONEY THAT ANY GUY YOU MEET. GUYS LIE ABOUT WHAT THEY DO TO MAKE SURE THE GIRL THEY MEET LIKE THEM FOR THEM ( AT LEAST THE SERIOUS ONE...I HAVE DONE THAT IN THE PAST). MODEST PEOPLE THAT MAKE A LOT OF MONEY DON'T OVERDO THINGS. THEY DRESS DECENT AND SAVE THEIR LOAD OF CASH.
3. PLEASE IN THE UNITED STATES, A WOMEN SHOULD NOT WAIT ON HER HUSBAND TO PROVIDE MONEY FOR FOOD AND SO AND SO. PEOPLE SIT DOWN AND MAKE BUDGET AND SHARE EXPENSES FOR THE WELLBEING OF THE FAMILY. PEOPLE THAT HAVE DIFFERENCES IN INCOME DO HAVE A COMMON ACCOUNT WHERE EITHER THE MAN OR THE WOMEN PUT 50% OF THEIR INCOME FOR FAMILY EXPENSES. THE REST IS SEPARATELY MANAGE BY EACH INDIVIDUALS.
4. AS FOR WHERE TO MEET PEOPLE IN NYC, YOU NEED TO GET OUT MORE. NOT GOING TO CLUB AND THAT BUT TO PLACES WHERE YOU CAN ACTUALLY MEET PEOPLE WITH HEAD ON THEIR SHOULDER... IF YOU ARE IN THE BRONX OR BK, THERE ARE A LOT OF NIGERIAN CONGREGATIONS.. NOT CATHOLIC THOUGH. THE BEST WAY TO ALSO FIND SOMEONE IS THROUGH FRIENDS. DO DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES, LOCATE GYM THAT AFRICAN GO TO...

You are not alone man!!! I have had that problem for 3 years after my last relationship failed. The women see how far you are in life, what you have achieve and your physical appearance and juge you without even check if you are for real. I think, they compare themselves to you and think you must be a demanding guy; reason why you are still single. Luckily for me I met this amzing girl about a year ago and we started dating 6 months ago. She told me a while ago that she didn't believe me but now she understood that I was for real and that she had inferiority complex due to the fact that I'm an accomplished person and knows how to take care of myself.

So hang in there you will meet one that will change everything. It get easier

Move on man. she is not interested.

Mynd_44: Does he not have his own?
Seriously, we are beginning to forget the meaning of something called PRIVACY. If some BF see what their GFs say on NL, they will think something else is going on but it is in a bit to have fun.
Here is a tip, loc up your phone and don't give it to her too

There is no such thing as privacy in relationship!!!! If you are committed to somebody, you should allow that person to know your deepest secret, share you fear and trials with that person. That is where true intimacy and trust built from. Her acts are suspiscious. I would ask her why she is doing that!!! And I would lock up my phone to see her reaction too...

Seriously 28 months?
I don't think I have that much time on my hand. I would rather move on to the next.
I've never try to woo a girl past three months. If the girl won't talk or do anything with me in three to six months. She is move to the friends zone and will stay there forever. There is no point on forcing love on somebody. Attraction and love should be mutual.

I guess it depends on her mentality!!!! If she is willing to learn really quick then she has a chance with me. I do know how to cook so if she doen;t learn, she will be frustrated.

luckgames: You are very right
if she want to contribute
Not some women that say my money is my money
My husband money is our money
My wife make more money than me now because she run a small business
I use to make more than her
She gave me great Father's day gift rider lawn mow for 1700.00

Cool. The survey was done in the OK and US so these women obviously work and help out. Nowadays man cannot by themselves take care of everything especially in the western world. Unless you are a millionaire. I believe both the wife and husband's money are the family money. Kudos to your wife!!!

I wonder why there are primitive man as the OP nowadays...Things are evolving and we need to change our rotten mentality. Your wife sharing responsabilities with you doen't mean she won't respect you. Respect is earned and deserved. The women that know what they want in marriage and knows how to keep a man give repect and treat their men well. You just have to find the right one.

luckgames: Sorry
$77,000.00 is not lot of money
You are still struggle class
You have a house that is close to 300,00.00
Student loan
Car loan
credit card bill
Cell phone and internet
Cable bill
Money to Nigeria
Your Vacation money

I bet you are thinking, you are the sole breadwinner of the house and your wife doesn't work or have a job? If she makes abt he same money you are somewhere. Of course the guy can make more but this is just a survey showing what most women want in "the perfect man" this is just the minimum I guess

She is trying to teach you that egoism is not a good thing. Humility is one of the key to any successful relationship so get it in your head. Her love should be enough for you. And women always crave praise. You should talk/teach her also that you need sometimes praise.

Rocktation: Not necessarily. But whatever or however he is, just might be perfect enough for me...is all I'm saying.

This sound much better!!! Like that..

Rocktation: Black women spend almost all their time in the real world. We don't do lists. We make perfect whatever it is that we want to. Our men included.

lmao..Are you sure about black women spending their time in the real world?
I guess you are another women that thinks you can change your man hein?

I guess people should learned that sponsoring a man or a woman is not a guaranty for love or marriage.And man should stop going on spending spray to show love!!! Thank God my mum tought me that when I was 18...small gifts once in a while are ok thought.
He can't ask for refund. It's his loss and no court will grant him that.

Hahahaha there are some truth to it though..
But what about the african women list? Add some to it!!!!

Now do you see yourself in that?
Well I guess I have 80% of that right now!!! LMAO

[b]This is the most funny thing I read a while on msnbc about the perfect man, women wants. Please read. it is fun
According to the poll by Austin Reed, the perfect man earns about $77K a year, drinks beer and drives an Audi.

Here's a full list of qualities the perfect man apparently possess...es:
1.6 feet tall
2.Toned and athletic
3.Brown eyes
4.Short dark hair
5.Smart dress sense
6.Beer drinker
7.Non-smoker
8.Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper
9.Gets ready in 17 minutes
10.Stylish
11.Wants a family
12.Earns £48,000 ($77,000) a year
13.Loves shopping
14.Eats meat
15.Clean shaven
16.Smooth chest
17.Watches soaps
18.Enjoys watching football
19.Drives an Audi
20.Educated to degree level
21.Earns more than his other half
22.Jokes around and has a laugh
23.Sensitive when his wife/girlfriend is upset
24.Says 'I love you' only when he means it
25.Admits it when he looks at other women
26.Has a driver's license
27.Can swim
28.Can ride a bike
29.Can change a tire
30.Calls mom regularly

LAdy, this guy is not good for you. First there is the age gap (30 and 20) nahhh he will manipulate you to get anything out of you. Education wise there is also a gap. He has a kid so there will be baby's mamma issue. At 20 years of age you should date guys from your age range not more than 5 years older so you can learn more about life instead of looking for marriage. There is more to life than marriage!!!! (if you are not well prepared for marriage you will suffer). You can date a guys without having sex...it all depends on how you set expectations from the get go.

All guys are not like him. Set some standard (Minimum/not too high) in order to screen guys. It seems to me that you are not really verse into the dating scene. Reason why you are blaming all the guys. There are really good guys out there. You just found one of the bad ones.

It seems like the naija boys usually confuse physical attraction with love.. Love is on a different level and physical attraction is just part of it...lol. I usually say that may be one or two years into the relationship after I know well the person and admire her personality or other things...

Not that I cheat but the day she threathened me is the day her a** is getting dumped

Are you kidding me? This is not even a question to ask... White wedding is not part of our culture...traditional and civil are just fine. Your mum is not gonna make you marriage work. And a church wedding is not bulletproof that it will work either. Big splash wedding at church is a one day thing...Marriage itself is after that day you step out of church. I would rather save that 200K I need for the wedding to take care of the baby. Your mum will get over it.

Please OP, DON'T GET INTO THAT MESS. I have yet to read a law in the US that say you can remarry without being legally divorced. It goes states by states but for a separated man to remarry, he needs to be legally divorced. Tell him off and ask him to contact you after he is legally divorced and showed you the divorce papers. Many women commit the mistake of getting into those kind of relationships. You should start looking for a back up plan and don't be desperate. just review your standards and I'm sure you will find a good guy where you live.

@ OP, She is not worth your time and your money. I would dump her ass. A lady that will sleep for money and can't handle herself is not worth dating or marrying