₦airaland Forum

Love letter !!! Nobody write those, these days, But she knows my intentions already,
I'm chill. I only text her once a week to see how she is doing. Or when we gonna get together for the week. She is so private even with the common friends that we have. The weird thing is whenever I text her, she will give me her schedule and what she is doing,

May be she wants to get to know you more and decide from there considering her past. Or she just want to be friends.

Lol I know it is annoying
When you are educated and on top of that live in occidental country, it is not necessary to add more stress to the usual stress.

You all are right in this case. I don't even know why people make life so complicated instead of simplifying it so everybody can be happy.

I met this girl a year and a half ago and the first thing she told me when I ask her name, is that she heard about me that I'm a nerd. We go to the same University. I'm from west Africa and she is from the southern part of Africa. We met again this year and I asked her number. she gave it to me. I called her and ask her out two days later. She said she will call to confirm but ditched me and didn't. I didn't hear from her until a common friend's graduation when she text me and ask me to let her know if we are taking the friend in question out. We went out that night all together. She ask that friend if I was interested in her and she told her yes, he might have some innocent crush on you. Communication with her is almost impossible. She rarely respond to my phone calls. Respond to my texts time to time. I invited to my place because I had some friends over in addition to some common friends she came with wine and had a nice time as she told me. That day I was doing the dishes and she push me away to do it. I invited her for the second time with the same group of friends and she came. After she left she text me that she enjoyed the get together that the next time she hoped she will not work to cook something for us. She said she hasn't dated or gone out to dinner with somebody in 2 years. I haven't dated anybody in a year and half. We are both doctoral students.

From what I see from her behaviors:
1. she avoid any one on one conversation with me. It's almost like she wants to run away when we are single out or when I walk up to her. And she avoids being single out with me.
2. She is restless when we have a get together or in our little group. she hugs all my guy friends and sit on their legs but avoid getting physically close to me.
3. She refused all the date I ask her out on. The third time she told me she will let me know in advance when we can go grab something to eat that she is working 7 days a week now.

I think she is interested in me but doesn't know how to handle it? am I wrong?  am I going about this the wrong way? I'm kinda rusty and has been out of the game for a while. Need some input!!!

Too funny. I will dump her in a heartbeat if she won't answer why she did that~~~

@ Poster, To tel you the truth she is an obsession to you. You don't love her. She is not probably seen in you the mature and thought huy that will handle a family. I experienced that kind of love when I was 20 years old, not anymore. Mature love is based on mutual respect, understnding, some physical, behavior and maturity not on money and position.
You just have to move on and mature and date around to see what's out there. You might how a better option. Be a man and don't be afraid to loose a women you are dating.

He must be on crack or something

@ Poster!
You are 33 and you are still seeking your parents advice about who to marry?
Is marriage still about who is from this tribe, who is from the other? Isn't it about compatibility, love and interests?
I know you are in Naija but Personally if I find somebody from my country that will be enough for me. If not somebody from my africa will satisfy my need as long as we match and we have common ground for understanding.
Go get married. Your parents will cope with it

slap1:
I don't date girls.

Hein?

freedomfro:
ccollins: Why do you say the guy would never be sincere? Are you male/female? Are you not a sincere person? Or have you dated someone insincere? Explain.

I was gonna ask the same question, sincerity is not a matter of age. Even the 20 year old guy might not be sincere in his courtship

bolof2000:
yes, havent dated so much cos i havent seen the need. plux, i like to keep one girl at a time. i guess, am going to adopt Pharmking approach. thanks guys

I see. Dating doesn't mean you have to have sex with the girls you are involved with in my book. It means get to know them, hang out and do activities together to determine compatibility. Sex is later stage, . unless you wanna hit and run!!!! Keep one girl at a a time is when you know for sure the person is serious about you and you about her and you know for sure in the next six to one year you will get engaged with the person or marry the person.

In your case you don't even know what the girl is been up to since you left college. You might just be the wallet for her. You don't know if she is serious about you.
So find out if she is serious about you before you waste your time and become heart broken. In the mean time get to know other people because you might have better options than her and her greedy behaviors

Sometimes age is not just a number. however it's not everyday you meet a mature 20 years old!!!.

freedomfro:
I'm 20, and my companion is 28, so, age doesn't always come with wisdom, and sometimes young age comes with wisdom. When the 2 meet in the middle, something can work. But what matters is 2 people who are mature, attracted physically to one another, and understand what each other wants and needs, and is willing to provide it without compromising what;s in their best interest. Age IS only a #.

So how easy or difficult was your relationship with the guy? normal?

It seems the poster haven't dated a lot or is still not in the real world. You can't buy love with money. Make sure the girl love you for you and the way you go about it, I'm not sure you will get the sweet end of the rod. Don't change the previous relationship you have with her by bragging about the money you are making and this and that.
For now she is not your wife so you shouldn't share you money issue with her. You should back out and tell her that things are getting rough so you are concentrating on making your business successful. Then try to continue the way it was when she doesn;t ask your for money and see where things will go.

@ poster Dude you must be outa your mind.
Has she done anything for you lately?
Are you having sex with her?
Is she mother for you kids?
Then why are you sending her money? You are sending her money and she is getting f*** by some other guys. As for me I'm not spending money on any girl unless I'm married to her, fianceed or she is family (sisters, cousins).

1. Ridiculous if you just met the person
2. If you date for a while the person (may be six months or more) it is ok.
3. Love is not attraction. it goes deeper and farther than that.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]You can settle for relationship without attraction. Like siblings. [/color]

really? Like seriously? You will be buried before you died if you do so,

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Errhh who is the man who has all those qualities. I want to make him my 2nd husband

People in general don't know their minds. But it's more common with women. [/color]

mmm I'm right here!!! But what quality do you have? lmao

At least you do agree with me that it's more common with women!!!! what's the remedy? lol lol lol

Macgreat:
I see all 20yrs old as minors

LMAO

-190:
all the guyz wiv 20YRS old GF's are seriously defending this thread!!

So it seems!!!

So it seems it is a split split decision. Some people agree some don't,

@ Poster , I would never let a girl,a lady or a women bring me done. So don't get into her game. May be you are the best thing she has even had. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

I Did too. I 've never dated any girls 4 years younger than me. they were all within my age to four years younger. And I don't intend to go lower than that.

toba:
My gf turned 20 on May 25 2010&shes in 200L. Kini big deal? I work&im almost 10Yrs older than her

Wow really? Her family doesn't have any problem with that?

To poster: you know your actual flaw. You are demanding and controlling which your ex can handle. That is one of the main reason you are so hang on her. I wouldn't take back somebody that cheat on me. You need to ameliorate yourself and try to o in pair with who you are dating. It seems to me that you like the new girl but the fact that she cannot put up with all ur sh**t is driving you away from her, anyhow good luck

190 gave all the answers I was gonna give. My age doesn't matter here since i'm not in the situation. I wouldn't date a 20 years old. Minimum requirement for me is at least 24.

My friend is about to turn 30 and two 20 years old girls are chasing after him. I told him not to try to date them because it's drama. Will you date a 20 years old if you're 29 to 32 years old?

Your Bf has a thing for the girl but doesn't know where it's going yet. So he is trying to male sure things will go well with the other lady before he dumps you.
Find yourself a toaster just in case. Did he ever introduce you to the girl as his official girlfriend? If not be careful

Start with a comments or a question, If she wants to talk to you and is mature the conversation will go from there. Then you ask her contacts or offer to take her for a cup of drink, tea or hang out. Not neccessarily to get into her pants. Panties story will come later if she is interested.

A woman tells you I don't date, what does it means? besides the fact that she might not be interested.
And I ask myself usually when I heard that from people, how do you find a potential candidate for marriage and study the guy or girl if you don't date

Hein? People have just gone mad!!! Don't get into a relationship just for getting into a relationship.

Nothing wrong with it. unless the guy is some weirdo that is not emancipated and think the world is still in 1970s,