₦airaland Forum

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Yeah, a light peck on the cheek will do.
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John closed from work on Friday and decided to give any lady that came his way a lift. After the 2nd turn from his office, he saw a nun and gave her a lift.
While they were going he did not know how to start a conversation with her, therefore, he placed his hand on her laps pretending it was a gear stick.


The nun softly said Mathew 7;7', he quickly removed his hand, and resumed concentrating on his driving.
He attempted it the 2nd and 3rdtime, and each time, she repeated, Mathew 7:7'.

When the sister  got to her destination, she opened the door and said to the man, "Youngman, the problem with you is that you don't read your Bible".
When John got home, he opened his Bible to MATHEW 7:7 which reads "Ask and it shall be given".
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John was driving his bus from Port harcourt to Lagos. He had a sticker in the car that said ''He will give his angels charge over me''
By the time he got to Warri, he was doing 135km/h. The passengers cautioned him, but he simply responded by saying,''Don't you see the sign?, the angels are on guard''.

He approached Benin on a speed of 185km/hr. By this time the passengers got very nervous and decided to get down. Everybody except the driver disembarked and he decided to continue the journey to Lagos alone. ''Mumu faithless people, they don't believe that angels are on guard, despite my sticker'', he said, as he drove on.


Nearing Ore, he was comfortably cruising at 215km/hr, when he heard people in his car shoulting, ''Abeg oga drop us o, we no dey go again'', puzzled, he looked around,
''Sebi I dropped all my passengers in Benin, so na who dey talk?''


''Oga, drop us o, na we be the angels wey dey on guard, this one don become suicide mission we no dey guard again ooo!!!''


Needless to say, John drove into lagos with a reasonable speed of 35km/hr.
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John went to Mama Mary's buka shop and ordered 3 bottles of Ogogoro. He drank them one after the other. Day after day, he repeated the ritual. He would order three bottles of the strong drink, and empty them one after the other.


One day Mama Mary became curious and asked him why he did that. "You see, I have two brothers. One is now in Australia and the other is in England. We made a pact that we will remember one another when we drink."


Sometime later, he came into the bar and ordered only two bottles of Ogogoro. Mama Mary felt that something was wrong. "I am sorry to see that you have lost one of your brothers."


"No,"he said,"I still have two brothers."

"Then why do you order only two bottles?"

"You see," John explained,"recently my wife took me to a crusade. To the glory of God, I have decided to stop drinking."
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Thanks! Enjoy!
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Where's the joke?
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So how does this concern us?

It is not like you are for advice. You are just here to gloat. Do you feel better now? Huh?
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A need two bottles of ice-cold beer!
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Sweerry, you wish you were healthy, dont you?
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[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=664516.msg8298772#msg8298772 date=1305117666]No, I will not forgive Phate.   [/quote][color=#800000]
Why? But i forgave you last year when you disappeared with James Piper!
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Going back to my own vomit is a no-no for me. Once rejected, the person stands rejected and cant come back.
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**Brings out diary and starts taking note**
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**prepares a huge pot of strong love potion**
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Well, am an alien.
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No. I prefer not to share.
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**nasty id[i]iot[/i] means 190**
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**checks the meaning of nasty**
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What will he do? Shoot me?
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^^Why are you SCREWING your face?
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[quote author=BABE! link=topic=139089.msg8296226#msg8296226 date=1305080545]No sir! You can't [/quote][color=#800000]
What? You dont like partners? What of Associates?
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The one that your Palle dropped for you?
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Did you smoke fried feaces?
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^^Mrs.Chima how was your wedding? Big and outlandish? Or small and simple?
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I need chilled STOUT. On the double!
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To implement all these policies, he needs strong and credible men and women around him. Lets hope he has the fortitude to seperate the chaff from the grain when the time comes for him to appoint his advisers and commissioners.
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^^Badosky, but i spoke the truth. Reality101 is in jail. I even bought some weed from him.
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