₦airaland Forum

[color=#800000]

A girl sent an SMS to her Ibo lover:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams; if you are laughing, send me your laugh; if you are crying, send me your tears; if you are eating send me your food; if you are using your ATM send me the money".
The Ibo boy replied:"I dey toilet"


[/color]

[color=#800000]

A girl sent an SMS to her Ibo lover:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams; if you are laughing, send me your laugh; if you are crying, send me your tears; if you are eating send me your food; if you are using your ATM send me the money".
The Ibo boy replied:"I dey toilet"


[/color]

[color=#800000]

A professor at a university is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 40 students raise their hands.
“Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?” About 20 students raise their hands.
“I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” 15 students raise their hands.

“That’s a great response.” “Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?” 3 students raise their hands.
“That’s fantastic.” “But let me ask you one question further… Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?” One student in a flannel shirt and baseball cap way in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, and says,
“Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.” The redneck student complies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, “Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost.” The student replies, “Ghost?!? Sh**it. From baaack there it sounded like you said ‘goats!’”.
[/color]

[color=#E42217]

Who hacked into Goldie's account?!
[/color]

[color=#800000]
A Professor of Agriculture at the Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria Mohammed Yissa Gana has said that Nigeria is capable of producing rice for the whole of West Africa. Mr Gana who is also a former Commissioner for Agriculture and Natural
Resources in Kwara State stated this yesterday in Ilorin at the opening ceremony of a two-day human resource development conference organised by the Agricultural and Rural Management Training Institute (ARMTI), entitled, "Promotion of
commercial agriculture in
Nigeria: Implications for human resource development."

He said: "Rice fields available in both Kwara and Niger states are enough to feed the West African Sub-Region and save Nigeria billions of naira from
importation of the product.
Northern States could also
support the trend." He however, expressed his displeasure over the inability of the nation despite large arable land in the North Central states of Nigeria to grow the crop, adding that "Nigeria has spent billions of naira on importation of rice from Thailand and other nations of the world."
[/color]
www.234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/Home/5697950-146/story.csp?

[color=#800000]
Founded in 1973, the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) was established primarily as a means of fostering national unity.

Ironically, close to 40 years later, the program has opened decades-old national wounds and raised important questions about the fragile state of Nigeria's union.

This is not the first time the NYSC program has opened old wounds or raised such
questions. Over the years,
Nigerians have pondered
whether the program should be scrapped, retained in its current state or reviewed. With the murder of NYSC corps members in northern Nigeria during April's post-election violence, the same questions have resurfaced, but this time, louder and more aggressively.

Should the NYSC be scrapped,
retained or reviewed?
[/color]

culled from: www.234next.com/csp/cms/sites/Next/Home/5697844-146/story.csp?

[color=#800000]

Three world famous magicians were in the bar drinking and boasting about their achievements.

The first one said, "During my latest show, I made three women from the audience disappear, it was so convincing that their relatives started panicking, no one could find the trick"


The second one said, "Hey, that is nothing, during one of my open air shows I made the Municipality building disappear and the entire town was searching for it"


The third one sighed and said,"Both of you are so local, I went to Paris and made the Eiffel Tower disappear for a full one hour, it was live on the TV, entire France was searching for the building&no one had a clue".


Just then a Naijarian walked into the bar and the three magicians suddenly turned quiet, gave each other fugitive glances and started to slip towards the door.
A Bartender watching this got curious and asked one of the magicians,"Hey what happened ? Who is that guy ?"
One of the magicians whispered,

"He is the World's greatest magician, he has done the biggest disappearing trick of all times, we are all mere amateurs compared with what he has done. His name is Ajegunle Molue. He has made N8.5 billion disappear from his company's balance sheet in front of everyone's eyes, and the entire world is still looking for it.
[/color]

[color=#800000]
Two Arabs boarded a shuttle train. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a fat, little Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I ll go up and get a , coke.”

“No problem,” said the Israeli. “I ll get it for you.” While he was gone, the Arab picked up the Israeli’s shoe and spit in it. When the Israeli returned with the coke, the other Arab said, I think I ll have one too.” Again, the Israeli went to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab other picked up the other shoe and spit in it.


The Israeli returned with the coke, and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York. As the plane was landing the Israeli slipped his feet into his shoe’s and knew immediately what had happened. “How long must this go on?” he asked. “This enmity between our peoples…, this hatred… this animosity… this spitting in shoes and peeing in coke
?
[/color]

[color=#800000]
I hear you.

@Ogbosky, ok i wont bother her again.

@TOPIC!
The face first! Then the body, if she's a real stunner.
[/color]

[color=#800000]
^^
No, am over that.
[/color]

[quote author=Natasha,, link=topic=658752.msg8260703#msg8260703 date=1304546279]huh don 't tell me you haven't seen that since Well its a warning and I am Badosky jnr 2 you grab [/quote][color=#800000]
What about the 'fall in love' part? You dont want to break people's heart?
[/color]

Omolola1:
Yep!
Very, very

[color=#800000]
Schoolwork? Missed your presence.
[/color]

Idowuogbo:
no she miss road , not my client i think she tot it was sexuality sector she posted in , but al d same since shes here i advised her to use kitchen tools , if not den vegetables u no wara i min

@el
omo forget story , u no d dealion na

[color=#800000]
Banana? Or cucumber?
Thank God that she's not a customer o.

Btw, where's my massage?
[/color]

[color=#800000]
Lwkmd4h!

[/color]

Mysticalz:
hi my el

ready to go a.n.a.l on me?

[color=#800000]
Kai!

Idowu is this the kind of clientale you have here. Always Hot! [/color]

snthesis:
Some pple are suggestng that Chris Okotie & Hon Patrick Obahiagbon should run on the same ticket, here are d implications, "Beyond d pedantry that d two emanate from contiguous geographical entities in d national configuration which is considered antithetical to d spirit of political balancing, their prodiguous proclivity-come-propensity for gramma, tical obfuscation may nt only precipitate an apocalyptic psycholinguistic disequilibrium among d proletariat, it may also kick off a cataclysmic descent into a psychosomatic syntagmatic convolulus where highfalutin, harum-scarum grammatical coinages are employed as ballistic projectiles, thereby spreading cantankerous megalomania and linguistic malapropism of catatonic dimensions!

[color=#800000]

Arranticus nonsensicus!
[/color]

[color=#800000]
Mad Johnny!
[/color]

switch47:
The psychic He goat, named after The founder of nairaland seun, , who shares his name with Former Nigerian Athlete  Seun Ogunkoya, is following in the sucker-steps of Paul the Octopus, who predicted results at last year’s World Cup in South Africa.

Seun the psichic He-Goat has predicted that Manchester United will beat chelsea to the 2011 English premier league title by choosing to

[color=#800000]
eat a pieces of Fried chicken from a plate  decorated in the manchester united club’s badge earlier today ignoring the "succulent looking roasted yam and vegetables " placed on a plate decorated with Chelsea colour.

[/color]


Seun also chose Real madrid to qualify for the final of UCL tonight it is however unclear how Real will over turn a two goal deficict.

Seun had earlier correctly predicted correctly all the scores of the recently concluded African under 20 tournament.

[color=#800000]

Even goat knows the value of fried chicken.

They should have placed the fried chicken on both club colours, and allowed the fucking goat to select.
This was heavily biased.

[/color]

[color=#800000]
I need a massage!
[/color]

[color=#800000]
^^Whachu you doing with that kinda siggy? Dont fall in love? Badosky junior? Wth!
[/color]

J12:
This has to be the most acrimonious thread in this section.

[color=#800000]
No it is not. This one is 'civil'. Atleast the 'insults' are being veiled.
[/color]

190:
^close your teeth and stop quoting my words

[color=#800000]
Meaning? Do you have sole copyright usage over any English word(s)?

[/color]

Omolola1:
His phone

[color=#800000]
Long time. Been so busy offline?

@topic
Her face first. If the face is pretty, i will let my gaze linger over the body.
[/color]

[color=#E42217]
Lwkmd4h!

Na wa for this World War 3!!
[/color]

[color=#800000]
Good news for SaharaReporters. Hope this will help them improve greatly on the quality of their news.
[/color]