₦airaland Forum

sirdouglas:
Now before you judge me, I beg you to hear my side of the story.
I said my side of the story cos if she is here, she may not agree with everything I have to say.
This is a lengthy one but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I it is important to note that I am not writing this to be judged or ridiculed. I want matured and reasonable people to help out.

I met this girl in 2017. Can't really remember the month but it should be getting to 2years now. We started dating. As at the time I met her I wasn't struggling, I have my own business and apartment so I wouldn't say she met me when I had nothing. I was a big boy then if I can use that word.
She was just 19 or so then. I am this kind of guy that really really take relationship serious and always looking out to see if things can work out. I don't spend on her, I don't do much for her then. I wanted to see the kind of person she is. She doesn't care or even ask of anything. She might ask for something once in a while but I will pretend I didn't hearw her and to my amazement, she will never talk about it again.
With time I started noticing something about her that I don't like. First is she is really not smart and educated. I noticed that she doesn't have her own say. She listens to gossip and always bore me with what this person said or that person. I really hate that shit.
She is a mama's girl too. Sometimes I wonder if she gives her mom details of our sex life.
She won't sweep the house or do anything for me even while the relationship progressed. I started taking care of her and helping out with her needs. I constantly keep wondering if I can settle down with her but I am always stuck with that question.

I ended the relationship when it was clear to me that I can't live with her. I am an ambitious young man and I am not there yet. I want a woman who will be more than a sex mate. I want someone who can confidently handle my business and manage my home when I am not there. She is to naive to my liking. I am tired trying to build her into the kind of woman I want.

There is only one main reason why I wasn't really hard on her. She was one girl who accepted me from her heart and I know it and I respected that too. I suck when it comes to women and I respect women a lot. You know what they say about guys that respect women. They are mostly single �
She came back few months later. She wasn't ready to let go. Being that I am a loner. My defence wasn't strong enough. We started dating. I got hold of myself and ask her to go again because I couldn't see a future with her and I can't bring myself to be wasting her time.

She wanted to stay, I told her in plain words that I don't want to marry her and that's why I am setting her free.

She left and came back the third time. We had sex and all that but this time I was determined to let her go. I went to a lab for a test with to make sure I didn't infect her with anything because I treated staph before I met her and I was afraid it may still be there or something. To my utmost surprise, she was the one who infected me with gonorrhea. I treated mine and hers and ask her to go.

I noticed that she haven't seen her period and asked her and she confirmed it. She left and came back few weeks later that she is pregnant. She insisted that she wanted to have an abortion but I wasn't interested. I told her to keep the child. Besides, she has been the one telling me that my sperm us not working. I laughed over it. I became afraid that she will try something stupid so I took her to a pharmacist friend of mine to discourage her.

Her mother got to know and ask her to call me. I went with a friend and told her mother everything. I started suspecting that the child might not be mine because I treated her of an infection she possibly contacted from another person. In fact, I was shocked when she confessed about the infection. She said it is the toilet they use at home but I never believed her.

I told her mother that I am not sure about the paternity but however, I will take care of her. I told her family that I don't want to marry her and I have told her that severely.

We had a long discussion that day and I left. I started taking care if her the more. I made sure that I made my stand clear on the matter. I don't want to be a murderer so I got to do what is necessary. She started complaining about abuse from her siblings and war started. They beat her almost all the time and I wanted to take it personal. Shit do happen at times but that is not enough reason to kill their sister.

When all this is happening, I was processing my papers. In fact, I started processing my papers before she got pregnant and she is full aware of that. I took another group of friends to their home to help beg the brothers to stop beating her so they don't kill her and the child.

My visa took time so she was almost due for delivery before I left. I sent money to her account and bought some things I felt she would need even the unnecessary ones and left.

My problem now is that she contacted me few days ago to tell me that the scan said she is having twins now not a boy. I can't explain in details because I don't know but the bottom line is that she is now having a twins. I feel for her like I always do.

I don't want to marry out of pity. I don't want to live a promiscuous life. I don't want to marry this girl honestly and having a twins for me just complicated the matter the more.

She said the doctor said she will be delivering this month. I am thinking of sending my uncle and younger brother to her family house to do the iku aka or whatever that is called so I can lay claims to my kids.

Her family is so messed up that I will never want to do anything with them on a normal day. They are from onitsha in anambra and I swore never to marry from that state. That's one of the reason I kept chasing her away. When I say messed up, I am really not that good with English to find the right word to define how disorganized it is.

I am feeling like a monster already. I need all the help that I can get. I never expected this to happen. I never wanted to complicate her life but here I am in the middle of all this.

Should I marry her out of pity and save her the embarrassment or give her money and make sure she comfortable and go ahead with my life. Honestly I don't know what to do.

..I kind of pity this gal....cos in few years time to come ...she will regret ever meeting u
By then she must av discovered what u av done to her trmw
U think na only u get future abi.....
I bet as time goes she won't even see any reason to be with u
I pray she doesn't poison the hearts of ur kids
Op u know wat twins Are genetic..... Possibility that they Are u kids are high

How did u expect a 19 yr old to behave ....when I was 19 I behave so childish.... I talk a lot ...but now am now getting matured as the Day passes by
.
U see that girl lacks exposure,,,, just like me the moment I entered sch... My eyes just tear open like their....u won't believe it
No woman is perfect... U can marry an educated woman today and she won't give u Peace of mind...my brother marriage is not a joke.....coach her! Educate her! ..send her back to school shey u get money ...u will be amazed....talking out of experience....
But wait how do u expect a teenager to behave ...like how?
U get mind shaa....for crying out loud she's not yet an adult.....I doubt if she has entered higher institution...

U want a Behind lady? ....get lady for Behind problems

Onye nzuzu

Tacha ....what do I know self

Ibbolaji:
1. Put your kids in
schools you can afford
because expensive
schools don't
guarantee good
results. Just ensure
they attend a good
affordable school

2. Rent apartments you
can pay for
conveniently. Don’t live
in a house you struggle
to pay yearly.

3. A man whose wife is
pregnant has good 9
months to prepare,
same as the pregnant
woman in question.
They should even plan
for the worse and only
seek help when they
can’t meet up.

4. Some problems in our
lives don’t just pop up,
if you don't own a
home, we knew we
would pay rents...So its
not an emergency.

5. Let’s plan our lives and
live within our means.
Save more and spend
less.

6. Some women buy food
for their children every
morning before going
to school or even for
the whole family, do
you know it’s cheaper
to cook at home?

7. Some people don’t
earn much, but have
DSTV at home, go for
GOTV and upgrade
when your income
upgrades. It’s still the
same CNN anyway!

8. Eat healthy meals and
protect your family
from mosquitoes to
avoid going to the
hospital always.

9. Take advantage of
food and fruits in
season, its cheaper
and you can be
creative to create
amazing meals.

10.Don’t copy your
neighbor’s lifestyle,
she earns well and her
husband is a ‘big
man’*

11. Don’t follow trends,
wear clean well-
ironed clothes and
keep your hair neat.
You would still look
good.

12. Keep your circle
small, keep only
friends that have
senses!

13. Above all things, have
the fear of God, have
integrity, don’t be lazy
and be prayerful.

14. Planning is the key, if
you fail to plan, you
plan to FAIL.

15. Don't do more than
your budget this
year, there is no
award given to best
family that wore an
expensive cloth for
the year

16.Don't be in
competition with
anyone...
The purpose of shoes
and clothes are to
make us smart and
good.

..Weldon u try

KristaPretty:
HEll yes! Yoruba men got too much Swag in eating shiit,

they got too much swag in stealing pant {preferably dirty ones from yoruba girls},

they got excess swag in being very dirty,

it's only in yoruba families you will see the daddy sharing money for all of them to buy mama put {daddy swag}

and anytime they are eating, they always open their mouth and you will just be seeing brown spit in their white tongue!!!

tueh!

.. Ahha! ....this one strong oo

babymakermike:
I'd impregnate her, she's gorgeous! Was she 10 or 11 when she got pregnant?

...ode

2buffagain:
Waist can't be that small naturally. I think an obese woman went under the knife to remove belly fat and leave the rest.

Very Bootleg hourglass shape .

...my exact thoughts though

Deepfeel:
No is pumping out shots like machine gun Mrs V

...lol....how u?

JediB:
Now, to begin with, I do not eavesdrop, however, I just did! Apologies for being so uncivil. I was getting dinner and couldnt help overhearing the 3 ladies sitting at the booth behind me, and what were they on about? Sperm content! Yes! Shocked me too!!

Apparently, one of them had been dating or is it shagging somebody new, and while the shagging was great, according to her, her problem was this dude's sperm flow was "a lot". She went on to say she was glad she was fixed as this dude would have had her pregnant by now...Now it isnt my business, but, this was really new to me. I mean women, talk or complain about size, duration, frequency, romantic or not... but to hear a lady go on about, just how much seed her man is spewing out of his phallus is interesting, innit?

So daughters of Eve on here, why would you complain about that?

..u mean the thing is flowing like river naija.....hmmm am still a v abeg..lol

Wait as in debate or a proverb.....hmmm naira land self.....no bi only discuss nah dissect

dreamwords:
I caught them doing it, I gave them one hour thinking that they would round up, but to my surprise they were still banging,

...this simply showed how neat ur bathroom is.... To the extent that cockroaches feel comfortable to Bleep their

Modphase:
That is exactly the right thing to do beta now than later. I had to ditch a 7 year old relationship n am talking a relationship I talked her into writing WAEC,paying her tuition for at least 2 session plus accommodation n more.

The signs were all there but foolish people keep giving me reason such as yours to continue until it finally dawn on me the relationship was a waste. When a guy pay your tuition 200% loyalty should be given because that is what you give you father when he does the same.

No way should you allow yourself in the mud to suggest a chance of being in modest. You are suppose to be 100% upright n seen to be 300% upright.

OP, here is what you should do hang on to the relationship since she suggested you shift the wedding plan, let her know you suspended it indefinitely. Withdraw all of your financial commitments to her, turn your affair to an inactive one to ascertain the true color of her cheating.

Discovery from above would possibly lead you to start hunting for another relationship. Don’t force or beg a lady into marriage, trust me it is not worth it.

mecury21

........ Guy u try

Patriotician:
Sometime ago, i created a trend about my girlfriend acting all strange and how i later discovered she was cheating on me and in love with another guy. She later made a fool of me.
https://www.nairaland.com/5238413/love-girl-she-doing-me

I also wrote about how she was a good luck charm to me. Yes, she has a wealth magnetic personality and i told her about it. When she left, she told me she would want to see how i will make money.

.......................

After months of frustration, i finally decided to work things out. Although she apologized, she is now dating me and the other dude. My friends were all advising me to play along in as much as things get better, so am on .

When we reconciled, i notice things started working out for me. She calls and acts to care about me, although she keeps contact with the other dude even when am around.

So, today we were together at her work place talking when she told me she would be coming over to my place that evening. In the past, that would have been a good news but currently, i don't want to share a bed with her ever again. Mere looking at her bleeds my heart as i pretend to be smiling to her. I tried telling her i had plans for the evening but she insisted and wanted to be malicious about it so i finally concurred.

The truth is that, i love that girl but i don't want to pretend. I want to be able to express myself and have my girl all by myself. She is my good charm if not, I would have looked somewhere else for true love. I already made up my mind that no matter how things get fabulous, i will never marry her, even if she repents. God forbid!

So, she is coming and i don't want to strafe her. I can't strafe a girl that is shameless to that extent as to be strafing someone else and expecting me to always strafe her without contraceptive. Several pastors already told me i should work things out that she is connected to my destiny and without her things would get stuffy for me.

Right now, am confused and angry. Have been so tired with life that i have decided to commit suicide on Sunday(mind made up) not because of her but because of what am experiencing in general. I can't even tell her about anything, so of what use is she to me ?

I want to make the best of my two days on earth. Please advise a confused brother

....... 1.God can't give u sth that will kill u
2.like u said she's shameless..... Fairweather girl friend... I think she's possessed... How can she rub it to ur face that without her things won't work out?
3.forget about what pastors say.... Fake pastors everywhere.. Pray that God should bless u.....
4.y do u want to commit suicide.. Its not worth it.... Thank God that u r alive... Things will get better with time.... Find a reason each day to thank him.
5.move on... I can categorically tell u that u don't love her... Cos without the good luck I doubt if u will still be dating her.. Considering the fact that she's a cheat.

DaddySpyce:
You met this beautiful girl on facebook or a social media platform and somehow you added her as a friend and she accepted. Later you send her a message and she also responds politely so from there you both get to chat from time to time.

As time went by you both became good friends, chatting everyday on whatsapp and somehow that connection seem to be there and then you both fix a date to meet and finally get to see each other for the very first time. Based on how close you both already are from all your chats, you plan to officially ask her to be your girlfriend and you are looking forward to building a good relationship with her that will lead to marriage.

However, on the day of outing, you both had a completely great time and everything seemed so perfect for two of you but then she had something very important she wanted to tell you and when you asked what it was, she says she is 4 months pregnant for her ex and her ex abandoned her with the pregnancy and ran away. Now she is left all by herself to take care of the baby when she gives birth.

Would you continue with the relationship with her knowing she is carry the baby on another man already?

... Is not advisable one bit..... She's pregnant for anoda man.... Get ready.. U will spend eh.... Gals don finish?.....

Eleyi gidi gan

Csuhy19:
Plx is my first post so I wanna start with this

.. Daddy's boy .. U look cute

Sonofthunder9:
Agbani road

.. Wow

Mraphel:
She has dry pull around her anus.. It was so disgusting.. I had to watch my cover cloth immediately after the first round... She wanted to come back the following day but blatantly refused.

.... Jeez ��

Hmmm.. This gal no fine ooo..... But she's cute or rather pretty... Then glamorous..... This her round face like China own.... With the short weave looking one shiyon in one Korean movie like that... Nice skin though

Sonofthunder9:
Okpara avenue
Zik Avenue
Agbani road
Where

.. Unec

SageMK:
I still and I've always respected all my exes.

My concern for their growth & development drove me to introduce them to my family. At some point, I planned my life with some, and when ever I misses them or got a little concerned about their well being, I do visit them. In short, I am always there for them.

We do talk about marriage related issues and I've never had a problem visting their family. Whenever there's a misunderstanding, I always reassured them of my love, apologize and we settle our differences... yet I never planned to married any of those bìtches.

... Wat a risky bf

She wan die bi that ......that all naira land gals for don die nah ....that's how some guys in this forum see us

Realist5:
You are a liar. As at January 15, this year, one of your topics stated that you wanted a relationship that will lead to marriage. How comes again you're here saying you got married and have a baby already and someone is disturbing your wife? You have already lost your worth with this kind of lies.

......lol u bad no bi small...inspector general weldone ......

Toxay:
It was mostly like a normal day until someone surprised me when the day was almost over

..wow thank God

Jasen1:
Good day all

Please I really need a good advise insults are welcome also

Please pardon any error in the post


It happened like this

She's a girl I met in 2012 via 2go, we became friends we talk, chat, and call each other, we've been just social media friends we never met each other physically till 2016 when we met in PH for the first time, it WI didn't stay together for more than 10minutes she left, we were still talking


Fast forward to this year I relocated to Abuja and she lives here also. We decided to date each other, she was staying with her sister here while I just rented an apartment, she visited me and passed the night in my house (yes we had sex) so from that day, she started complaining about her sister giving her troubles, always punishing her, she always quarrel with her, soany complain, she said she want to get an apartment, I said OK I will help her get one but first she needs to start working at least when I get the apartment for her she can be able to pay her bills she said OK, 2weeka after she told her that her sister had issues with her husband and she's packing out of the house that her sister is relocating to ph and her sister asked her to leave the house or stay with her husband

She said she can't stay with her sister husband, I then told her to come to my place and stay, she agreed.

Now my problem is this, since she been here she sleep wake up eat morning afternoon and evening, she's not bothered about working anymore like she became so lazy to go out and look for work, I spend lots of money every week making sure we've enough to eat at home. But I'm really getting tired of everything


I don't know how to ask her to leave and again she don't have anywhere to go to, excepts her village or her sister place in Lagos, she has lots of friends here in Abuja but they're not good friends to her, I stopped her from associating with them, but this time if she want to go back to them, I don't mind, I really need space


Please note she's my girlfriend, we are both in our early 20's


I want the best way to ask her to leave that won't cause problem

.. As the gbedu dey enter bodi

Deepfeel:
Am available for marriage come marry me

...I shld come n pay ur bride price?

Toxay:
I am 16th too.
How was the birthday?

...dope....urs?

This is dope

Sorry to say this ...d Lady sitting down is way finer than Regina......kai....fine wine

Deepfeel:
I hope you have money?

...yah