₦airaland Forum

Hi there. 


Enjoy this one too, whilst you can,

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a
conversation.


"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel
to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second
man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all
your fingers and toes. But eventually,it's a very calm
way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as
if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see,
I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed
up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and
found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement,
but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the
second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I
ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got
there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he
says.

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.

"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd
both still be  alive."

Thanks

Any ideas?

Wife and Maid.
A housewife, realising that the housemaid had started
behaving funny, decided to engage her one morning.

Madam: "Chinyere why you don begin dey behave anyhow
these days? E be like say u no wan know ya mate for
this house again o! Face no dey fear face for ya
village?"Abi you don carry craze for head?

Chinyere responded immediately: "Look at you, you call
yourself Madam, which kind wife wey u be?
Afterall my food dey sweet pass ur own, "

Madam: "Ehn!!!!! Who told you that you cook better
than i do?"

Chinyere: "Na Oga now, "

Madam: "Lord have mercy!!! Papa nkechi,  , ??
!!!!!!!!? you will come and meet me in this house
today, Na war between me and am today. Ohoooo no
wonder,  I don dey suspect this thing since

Chinyere: "No be all be that o, , I even better
pass you for bed, "

Madam: "Yeepa, !!!!!!!!!,  I'm finished!!! So,
Papa Nkechi told u such thing too?"

Chinyere: "No, The driver said so."

Madam: "Uhmm, Chi chi baby, Chinyerryerry
Chinlosky, come here ehn,  Good girl. Abeg no let Oga
hear that one. OK, "

;d ;d

Happy Birthday!

Nice one there!  But you know HE isnt lazy!

Sup People! 
Check these out,

Wife: Honey,  What are You Looking for?

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: Nothing, ?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??

Husband: I was just looking 4 the expiry date.



2-    Wife: Do you want dinner?

Husband: Sure, what are my choices?

Wife: Yes and no.


3-    Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"



4-    Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.



5- A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU the FORTUNE"



6- A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.

Nice one ! like this one too .

Honestly i dont think this wud solve our problems in any way. Might make us look cool in the international community  but only for a short while cos i trust there come some 'patriotic Nigerians' who wud exploit the situation. We can collectively increase our production , provide more jobs and reduce importation and still get the same end result ! The whole thing jus makes the Wealthy man Rich and sends the poor man deep in mediocrity ! You know this thing has recently been put to practice in Ghana!

Sup pple!  I really think the use of the coins shud be enforced using tax reforms. we need to prevent them from going extinct again! No one seems to care!

Sup people! Have been wondering why prices of goods and commodities have still been rising by 5 Naira or its multiples since the reintroduction of the coins ! Has anyone bought pure water for 7 Naira or anything for a strange amount like 152 Naira apart from fuel ? Why cant we prise something selling for 10 Naira to about 8 Naira ? How do you think we can control inflation with the use of the lesser denominations of the Naira and how do you think this can be best implemented?

Really hope you're not the wfe! . Wonder if you made that up yourself. You shud be on stage if you did.

nice one you! still cracking up! .

that joke about the condoms was a real cracker! Nice 1.

Sup guys! This should not be a topic for debate!  :oHave used both fones and i honestly think nothin beats the Sonyericsson fones! Thou not as stylish as the Nokia fones, they never disappoint when it comes to the multiple functions buried deep within. Only major flaw is its very low 2nd hand value! But who really wants to use a fone for so long. Times are changing and you need to go wit the flow else you'll be living in the stone age even wit a fone released 3 years back. Sony ericsson IS the Alpha Of them all! Caprice.

;DOk Bro! Heard you! No biggie! But you must agree that there aint nothin wrong wit pple expressing how they feel. Dont mean they dont support the housemate. She's all we've got.

ooooooo my God
that babe is so ugly

and who told her that yahoozee was a good dance for the BB theme song
she doesn't even know how to do it well

don't take me as a hater but y must Mnet disgrace us like
Ofunneka is too tom boyish and ugly and doesn't represent the kind of quality we have in nigerian babes.
The babe had the guts to be showin Africa razz places like Ojuelegba, Ebute Metta and her ridin okadas on her video while all the whole world was tryin 2 show beautiful beaches,monuments, and give their country a good image

c what dey brought from Angola, 1st Bruna and now that beautiful angel ( that is enough eye candy for shower hour) I don't think i'll be waitin 4 Ofunneka at the shower hour


I think we should still give her a chance. I aint too happy but mahn! She's Nigerian. We should support her!