₦airaland Forum

2legit2qwt: I’m bringing this up because a friend of mine recently lost the opportunity of securing a job and I only got to know after the fact, meanwhile, I could have easily helped him considering that I’m a good friend to the recruiter.

This friend (the one who didn’t get the job) had previously asked me some questions earlier in the week that suggested he was up to something, he just never told me why he asked and I never bothered to ask. This is just one of many cases of how secretive a lot of Nigerians/Africans are. In this case, someone missed a chance of getting a good job and there are several cases like that.

I’m not sure if it’s a cultural attribute of Nigerians or Africans but my biggest guess to why this exists is the strong belief in the existence of witchcraft. This friend of mine seem to think that I’m a wizard with some spiritual power or something to stop him from getting the job, I wish

A lot of Nigerians have a problem with self-disclosure, they only tell after the fact, some don’t even tell at all. They call you a friend but you don’t know when they’re about to buy a new car, move to a new house, get a new job, travel abroad, pass a test or are graduated from school.
The only thing I know they’re quick to tell is when they’re getting married, not sure why but other than that, you only get to find out about most things only after the fact.

How can you call someone a friend when you never get to experience their success but they’re quick to tell about their failure?

This is a general statement, but the Nigerian belief system lacks trust. OP, don't feel bad for your friend. As a society, we don't trust our current leaders – and we shouldn't, because we lack leaders amongst us. And our so-called leaders both past and current lack imagination. Furthermore, we don't trust our family members, teachers, professionals, skilled or unskilled workers, etc. However, we trust strangers. I bet if you asked your friend to pay you for the tips he was asking for, he'll perhaps provide the full context and trust you more. Go figure...

akande.james:
IGNORANCE AND LACK OF REASON WILL DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD. HAVE A PROOF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZEvA8BCoBw

And your point Sir/Ma? Pointless...and irrelevant.

shamson: I hope you listen to the words of wisdom and stop been "fanatics"

Wait till you or a member of your family is maimed by the fanatics of your faith. Perhaps you don't even care. All you hold on to is the Qran/kran.

Saksreal: JIHAD is a Term often misunderstood and associated with radical militants. The arabic word is wrongly misinterpretated as "Holy War", although there is no such thing in islam. Holy war is something undertaken to forcibly subject others to certain religious doctrines, which is forbidden in Islam.

The arabic word "Jihad" means a struggle or striving and applies to any great effort on the personal and social level. It is striving to do good and remove injustice and evil from oneself and the society. This exertion of effort can be spiritual, economic, social or political. For example, one of the highest level of Jihad is to stand before a tyrant and speak a word of truth. Restraining oneself from wrongdoing is also a form of Jihad. It is a broad concept that includes opposing evil inclinations within oneself, opposing injustice through peaceful means, efforts to improve the quality of life in a society as well as the striving by military forces on a battlefield in defence of the community or oppressed people. Jihad is not synonymus with war and it certainly does not involve terrorism. Armed Jihad is not an option for muslim individuals or groups and can only be declared by the muslim head of state. Moreover it must never be fought for wordly gain, conquest or revenge. Muslims may only engage in battle to protect people's lives, properties and freedom.


Jihad has conditions of restraint that distinguishes it from any other kind of warfare. They can be summarised as follows.

** Muslims must not begin hostilities. They must strive for peace as much as possible.
** All treaties and agreements must be observed as long as the enemy observes them.
** Muslims must fight only those who fight against them; non-combatants are not to be harmed.
** Weapons of mass destruction must never be used and collective punishment is strictly prohibited.
** Self-defense is not considered jihad if muslims are striking back in revenge.
** Hostilities should be ended as soon as the other party is inclined to peace

BS. Tell that to the families of 911. Tell that to the families that have lost lives and are being displaced daily in northern Nigeria, Iraq, etc. Please tell that to the Malians. The true meaning of Jihad: a benign cancer within Islam that is now active. That is the practice of Jihad as we now have come to understand it. And don't try to tell us any different Mr/Ms. OP.
Please tell us something else that we don't already know.

payoski: A man of God from one MINISTRY that my wife attends asks her to pay #100,000 for house visitation, liberation and deliverance. That while he was praying he saw what happened in our family and my wife confirmed that is true, he man of God now said that danger ahead that we need to act fast by paying the money as soon as possible and obtain our PAYMENT RECEIPT which covers transportation for 7 persons and their salary . But the truth remain that we don’t have this money in question. Transportation from our state to his ministry ground is about #1,350 only, please we needs your good advice please

Don't do it. First of all, do you have the amount in question? Is your family well-fed? If not, you can pray against whatever bad deed the so-called minister claims to have seen. Your wife and you can bind hearts and minds to pray for whatever you want, and believe it shall be given onto to you. It sounds like your wife has a weak faith, and she is bent on paying this minister whatever. If he had asked for 7 figures, your wife would be willing to pay. For me that is a sign to run farthest away from such church or ministry. Everyone one has problems, and some folks have magic to give you problems you don't have...

Emekuuss: We see some parents working tirelessly hard to ensure their children get a better life at all cost & some of them are petty traders, civil servants e.t.c & as time goes by, they get older as well as lack the strength to push further on getting some income for the family. but after helping their children to a certain place or level of life, don't these parents deserve something more from their children in return? We stil see a lot of people though helping out before marriage in taking care of their parents but after marriage, they stopped doing so completely & using it as an excuse for not helping out anymore. So, what do we say is the problem, could it be lack of proper planning before marriage or the fault is from the parents or what?

@OP, like one of the poster said, it is partly because of where you find yourself. However, it is more complicated than that. The most precious substance we can give our elderly is our time. For some of us that is close to impossible because our education, marital life, war, or employment may have taken us outside the area or country in some cases. That said, some of us may be able to provide financial support, and we should. It's not good to leave it to the eldest, richest, youngest, or healthcare professionals within the family. I believe everyone should chip in with their own sort of gift, financial, time, or whatever. And our culture is such that you can never do enough. We always expect more. Even from when we were little kids, parents and society expects more. If you get a "B" grade, your parents would ask you why you didn't get an "A". If you get a job in Abuja, your parents may say what is the big deal? Some other family friend’s child got a job in London, Hong-Kong, or New York. There is this endless competition within families, villages, and our society at large. We see this is Lagos every day. No roads but the desire to show off with flashy low suspension cars. Again you can say it comes down to priorities and how we were raised.

My parents raised me to believe that I was their pension, NHS, Medicare, Medicaid, call it what you like. Hence, I’ve been lucky to provide since the age of 17. I can’t even count how many burials and weddings I’ve funded. But I consider myself blessed to be able to.

frankii: My friend is really messed up right now. He say's his girl friend finds chatting with other guys on the phone about sex fun, she even sends pictures that are sexy but not completely revealing to them, and he got to find out when he saw some mails she had been exchanging. He say's she hasn't been sleeping around, because the messages aren't about "how good the sex was", but just both parties making up sexy stories up, he had warned her about it some years ago, but it seems she just likes it. He loves her, and i know she loves him like crazy, but he is dying slowly, and the whole thing is changing this cool dude i know into a player himself, trying to build a defense for his heart. Please what do you guy's think i should advice him?

@OP, it is called cheating. However, your friend’s girlfriend may be trying to send your friend subtle messages - change how he performs the act with her, etc. Hint-hint: perhaps he can give her some of what she has sent him in the past as a Valentines gift/act, which may reduce or stop her chat with other folks online. That said, she does come across as very needy and your friend may not be the raunchy type for this babe. He needs to move on. It would only get worse and drive your friend bunkers.

Subsequently, it appears your friend must have lived a sheltered life, and this babe is really out there. If the babe also really wants a long-term relationship with your friend, she would have to coach him…

What say you?

Alain Traore is the playmaker of AFCON 2013. Arsenal and Tottenham tender before 11:00 PM GMT on January 31st.

Mikel Obi - if you are going to wear the No. 10 shirt, please learn FAST.

A class ACT.

Mr knowitall.:
i wanted to travel to Ghana, but my passport was expired. i called the Nigerian embassy in Atlanta and DC to renew my passport.

i was holding on the phone for like 40mins for Atlanta but no pick up in DC. The lady that picked up was rude as hell, she even hung up before i cold ask her a question. I wasted 60 dollars n the application but wen i called the Ghanian Embassy in Houston, the phone rang twice and to my surprise someone answered it. she was very nice and told me everything i needed to do oto get a isa. i went to their embassy, within 10 mins i was out of there with a visa.

Nigerian customer service is terrible

Nice post. I've always used a third-party service. That's 40 minutes you could put to better use either earning or learning...

ITbomb: What are the five most important Windows applications that you use whenever your system is up and running.
.
For me, the top five include:
1. Word (Both Microsoft and Kingsoft – cos of the tab arrangement)
2. Firefox
3. Excel (I love my CrystalBall)
4. PROSPER (To Whom It May Concern)
5. Adobe Acrobat
.
Others are CorelDraw, Photoshop, PES, Download Accelerator, Avira, Nokia Suite and Zoom Player.

1. Notepad (or Notepad++ for scripts)
2. Browsers (Chrome, Firefox, Safari, and IE)
3. Microsoft Word
4. Microsoft Excel
5. Microsoft Visio
6. Adobe Acrobat (professional)
7. iTunes
8. Norton/Symentec

greatgod2012: Let us share experience together, let us learn from one another, let us exchange ideas with one another, as regards parenthood. What has being a father or a mother(parenthood) changed about you?

As for me, before i became a mother, i spend anyhow, but now, not like so again, i now plan well b4 i spend, taking into cognizance that, emergency can spring up on d kids anytime and i wont like to leave everything for my hubby.
Next, before i became a mother, i can go to bed as early as 5/6pm, but now, who born me, when a lot of things are laid down for me to take care of, i cant believe i can be sleeping at d time i use to sleep now.
Again, before i became a mother, i was extremely neat to d extent of not wanting to have nursing mothers as visitors, because of d fear that d baby will mess up my room, but now, im more tolerant, its not that im no more neat, but i never believed i could tolerate what im tolerating with my kids and other pple's kids now.


As for hubby, before he became a father, once he determine that hes not going to spend a certain amount of money, there is nothing that can actually make him change his mind, if you like, bring heaven down, na so so look he go dey look you, but now, hes no more like that, he always want to satisfy his kids, d4, no special money he cant spend on d kids, especially when they are sick.

Pls, share yours, what has parenthood changed about you, be it positive or otherwise......let us learn from each other.
Thanks.

As a parent, I'm now less mobile as I used to. I no longer take as much risk as I used to. I've also cut back on achieving certain goals until my kids go off to college/univ. My focus is now on the happiness of my family and on my kids growing up well-rounded.

automaticcars: Why do Nigerians think Japanese vehicles are better than Europeans, Koreans, Americans and German vehicles? The world is changing everyday and technology is swiftly changing the way vehicles opereate. There are parts available for most vehicles in Nigeria. I have been watching and asking myself why Nigerians don't patronize other vehicle brands except Japanese brands. In the last seven years, there have been recalls after recalls of all Japanese brands on monthly bases. Has anyone ever heard where German, Korean, or any other european vehicles being recalled for major flaw like the toyotas, hondas, nissan, and co? What is the problem with Nigerians when making car choices? Imagine someone who has never bought or used a car before in his life telling me how bad European vehicles are. I asked him how did he know European vehicles are bad? He told me he heard it from people before.

Ladies and gentlemen, why do Nigerians mostly buy Japanese vehicles and not other brands?

It boils down to the Benefit Cost Ratio (BCR). My family continues own a Lexus and Honda, Accords, spanning the last 16 years with no problems and as some of the other posts comment not having to have a mechanic as a friend. The cars just run with the basic maintenance (gas, oil, and tuning). Also, as long as it is not a major safety issue for the driver and passengers recall means the problem would be corrected at no cost to the owner. Another side to the story is that if you claim to be the number one car marker in the world, you will drawn a lot of attention and oversight agencies looking where they typically wouldn't and people wanting to sue you for some of the money you make (speaking for the USA).

A lot of German cars overheat and catch fire in Nigeria. How come they are not recalled? Perhaps they weren't built for our hot weather conditions, or perhaps we don’t have a consumer agency looking out for the public’s interest. Go figure… A colleague once told me the reason his Benz lasted was that every time he took it into the shop, they replaced a lot of parts with brand new ones, hence the high maintenance cost. Replacing what the Japanese would let run for years without the need for replacement.

samguy: The British Council in Nigeria has been contracted by the UK’s Department for International Development to manage the Nigeria Stability..... Currently Recruiting for Different Positions.



Source

Is Nigeria unstable? Or do the Brits know something we don't? Do they foresee chaos? I can't imagine a similar Nigerian Council in Britain/USA. It sounds like they are recruiting spies.

It pains me.

hrmkz: Who gets the final say on what should cook for the family, You or your spouse or the Kids.

Mother-in-law has taken it upon herself to know and master the taste of my household. However, the kids propose and grandma executes...sometimes multiple dishes are the result, but so be it. No one is complaining. We are all happy and content.

After independence, the West colluded and/or in certain cases looked the order way while our CORRUPT Leaders routed oil revenues or so-called World Bank loans to their foreign accounts. The evidence for this was espouse by former minister, Umaru Dikko’s self exile to the UK while being protected by the British government because of his ill-gotten deposits in their High Street banks. And we all know the Swiss Banks being the biggest culprits and now Dubai. However, in recent times, we have seen a departure from this type of collusion by the West when the UK helped convict former governor of Delta State, James Ibori. Nigeria would have let him free as they all roam around today with contempt and impunity. Otherwise, how would our military leaders have millions and some billions of dollars stashed in foreign accounts?

Chapter two is now being plot. The Chinese are at the helm. They obviously have no checks and balances and are still evolving as a power. They claim to have credit facilities for Nigeria which is for ulterior motives. The credit facilities are not there because they so much like us – far from the truth. The credit facilities are their because they know Nigeria’s weakness: its CORRUPT LEADERS! So we’ve spent the last 400 years (since the 1600s) serving the West. God forbid; our new posture is to serve China for the next 400 years. Nigeria, wake up! Nigerians WAKE UP! There is no free lunch.


http://www.punchng.com/business/business-economy/china-emerges-nigerias-top-creditor-with-n1tn-loan/

Halliema: I use an iPhone5, i don't knw anythn about it,i only tweet,fbk and come here, i knw i'm underusing it,i feel like selling it,but i cant. Can anyone help with interesting apps pls? I use an iPhone5, i don't knw anythn about it,i only tweet,fbk and come here, i knw i'm underusing it,i feel like selling it,but i cant. Can anyone help with interesting apps pls?

What theme of apps are you looking for? More specifics please...

Koolwilly: My iPhone 3G refused to Charge. I guess the Battery has issues. How much does a new battery Costs?

The iPhone batteries typically hold up very well. Make sure that the charger has been isolated not to be the culprit here. Perhaps you can borrow a friends to confirm that it is not the charger.

bobolekepee: Pls how can i unlock my iPad, it was sent 2 me 4rm U.K, since i received it i cant do anything on it dan 2 on and off it

@OP, do you mean the iPad had a password on it when you received it and powered it on? If your answer is yes, the solution to the problem is a restore of the iPad using iTunes - connect the iPad to your Mac or PC. This also means that any data that was added to the iPad in the UK since the last sync will be lost.

@OP, if the blind person in question is qualified and creative, he can find inspiration in this recent article/documentary:

Blind Architect Finds Inspiration in Loss - Chris Downey, an Architect with 20 years experience became blind at age 45. Now being able to understand the blinds' needs in new building designs, leverages his blindness and skills to help in designing new buildings to cater to all but mostly the blind:

http://www.californiareport.org/archive/R201212281630/a

berem: It seems it has become a new trend for some men to request for their spouse to be to be pregnant fIrst before the proper marriage takes place.I have had the opportunity to ask about 20 yet to be married men and 15 of of them wants their wives to be to get pregnant first.I also asked them why they wanted it,I was shocked when they all said "I don't trust nigerian girls these days".
I have a cousin who is gonna be 34years by next year and she is not yet married.There is this guy she was introduced to for marriage but the man gave her condition that she must get pregnant first.My cousin being a very stubborn lady refused and said she will never get pregnant before marriage.Her mum has been worried because of her age and also being the first daughter.
My main worry now is that her mum wants me to advise her on what to do.Right now am confused.I don't know what kind of advice to give.Should I advise her to get pregnant or wait for the right time? Am really scared the guy might leave her if she refuses to get pregnant first.

@OP, there are always two sides to any story. Perhaps the so-called husband (or guy) to be is also unsure of himself and wants to see that his sperm is potent enough to produce a child. Perhaps he doubts himself, which your cousin should also pose to him as a fair question. It's not only a question of whether your cousin is fertile but is her partner too. From another standpoint, this calls for good negotiation skills/tactics from your cousin if she really likes the guy. Of course in most negotiations, you would ask for the moon knowing you can't get it. Especially since the guy in this case feels like he has an upper hand because the lady's child-bearing clock is perceived to be winding down. Your cousin should nullify this perception in your cousin’s mind by pointing out to him cases upon cases where healthy child bearing has occurred in women up until their early 50s. He should assure the guy that there is no cause for alarm. The earlier he proposes and the nut tied, the earlier child bearing and raring can commence. He should not be or become an obstacle to their potential fruitful union.

She should tell the guy that he is the one wasting everyone’s time right now, including the time of some of us on NL.

amyg: Its ok 2 have hobbies/interests but I just wonder y men dedicate so much time 2 football/wrestling even@d xpense of their r/ship.sometimes I feign interest in d football 4 my guy's sake buh after 5mins,I find out I was just starring@d telly cos am just lost in d whole game(I don't understand wots going on dr).lol
Is it just me/ur addiction?
Guys,let me hear u

@OP, Jesuit maxim "Give me a child for his first seven years and I'll give you the man". We've all been programmed in one way or another by our parents, environments, schools, TV programming, society, church, mosque, etc. So addiction is the effect, but PROGRAMMING is the root cause. So the solution is to reprogram your man. However, if he has addiction tendencies, he may become addicted to your new programming hobby or preference. Be careful what you ask for.

OCTAVO: Most men become less caring and a little more aggressive after marriage. In fact, some become extremely violent.
I think the constitution should enforce compulsory psychiatric evaluation for couples intending to marry.

@OP, not all men change after marriage. However, the few that do have always been the same way prior to their marriage(s). Don't confuse the courtship stage with what happens in marriage. In the courtship stages, the men would say anything to gain their potential wife's interest, and to add salt to pepper, the women are willing to listen and buy most of what the men say. That's all. Most men don't suddenly change. The later to be found violent ones were beasts before and after marriage. No change had taken place. But even if the potential wife gleaned the potential abusive tendencies during courtship, she was willing to look the other way, saying to herself and others, "I love him."

Friendship;
Love (includes going out of your way...);
Closeness (regular hugs - some of us may not be the touchy-feely type)
Acknowledgements;
Showing appreciation (positive comments...)

@OP, I agree with Kobojunkie on this one. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. You need to get yourself straight and figure out why you seem to be burdened. Is it because your parents have always told you growing up that you have to be the one to carry the burden or is it that you happen to have a generous heart and can't see your mom and siblings suffer? That's the question. Because, if you pass tomorrow due the worries you seem to show in your post, life will continue without you and your help. Your mom and siblings will cry for a couple of days. That's it. If fact that is even if they appreciate what you may consider you are doing for them.

Buhari should be allowed to contest in 2015, 2019, 2123, and however many times he thinks he has a winning chance. However, I wouldn’t and I don’t think any forward thinking Nigerian should vote for him. He is part of the old school, part of the nation’s problems today, which however does not mean he cannot be part of the solution. But he should be part of the country’s solution by supporting the fielding of a younger candidate, someone between the ages of 35 and 45-years-old. This is the only time I would be in favor of age discrimination. Not only because the older generation are not technology inclined and have no wherewithal with Social Networks and alike but partly because times have changed and the focus needs to move away from oil as a natural resource to brains as the new natural resource. If I may also add that their generation has failed time and time again to provide the nation with regular electricity, public infrastructure like roads, basic health care, good education, etc. His generation lacks vision talk less of having a real plan.

Kobojunkie: The @OP tells you the discussion is on surviving a loveless marriage. He explains what he means and goes further to explain that NO ASSUMPTIONS to the otherwise be made. What are you still yapping about now? Did you even bother reading the @OP at all?

I didn't bother to read it. It was read to me. I just happen to be the one armed with the keyboard. I'm known to bang away - not to be confused with love-making.

Kobojunkie: I love it when I can simply quote an existing post to answer yet another . . .


You are told this is currently a loveless marriage, and here you are arguing the unrelated, really

It cuts both ways, and to my point. Because the poster said it is a Loveless Marriage doesn't make it so, or perhaps it is. Do you have enough information to conclude that that is indeed the case? Perhaps you do, because you are quite quick to jump to conclusions. Sorry for Mr. Right. He's earned my pity in having to school you.

Kobojunkie: NO WHERE did you do that. Sorry, none of your posts on this thread, or on any of the other threads I have seen you post on, departs from what I have come to expect of you, and that is, your understanding of love and relationship is pretty shallow and I only hope that is because you are still quite young. I didn't think the way you do now of love and relationships back when I was 18, so yeah, you need to grow up fast before . . .

@Kobojunkie, anyone reading your post may also come to the conclusion that you need a lot of growing up to do in your tone, reading and writing. You also come across as though you are in a loveless relationship. Once again, if I refer you back to the original post and follow up by the poster, the following issues were raised:

* Loveless marriage
* Love-making (or lack of)

Both premises only highlight symptoms of a deeper problem if you peel off the surface. I love my family, my siblings even the bad ones. However, I’d never fall out of love with them. I truly love my wife and I will never fall out of love with her. True love never fades. How many parents have seized loving their children? Perhaps not that many. However, popular culture has made marriage and love synonymous. Not true. And if you argue the contrary then this post should not have opened. You don’t love someone today and tomorrow you've lost your love for them. Love is all or nothing. If so-called love fades/faded, then there wasn't love in the first place. Such a relationship was confused for love. It was a mirage mistaken for love - a fallacy.

We hope true love is reciprocal in marriage but it is mostly not. That’s why some that are truly in love find it difficult to move on if the other person in the relationship decides they've fallen out of love. I honestly doubt they were in love in the first place. Love is truly blind, but the reality is that marriage will open your eyes. Love is forgiving and kind. Love may not know how to communicate and be good at love-making, but love will try. Love is learning and accommodating. The strategy in this case should include considering all the tactics mentioned so far: opening channels of communication, doing some things different from what the person is used to doing, counselling as you mentioned in one of your threads, etc. One tactic by itself may not work and most may fail. However, if the person looking for help is the one truly in love, they'll find it challenging to move on.

Kobojunkie: I can tell from the above post that you are a child whose fickle mind still believes that love has to do with the emotions registered between your legs when you look at your partner. People like you, if you do not grow up quickly for your own good, end up having problem after problem when in a long term relationship.

Looking good has nothing to do with love. Even the "sexiest" people on the planet, with all their six packs and chiseled bodies have not been able to stave off this kind from happening to them. When you get married. You are on the internet, educate yourself.

@Kobojunkie, I'm not mad at you. However, only if you read and comprehended my post(s), you would have been able to extract that I suggested an internal and external step for the person in question to improve her/himself to help awaken the animal in the partner losing interest which could also spark new proposals from the outside.