₦airaland Forum

SisterCaro:
i already answered when the 2 become one they head the family as one.

OK..if it works for u..good for u

SisterCaro:
you sit down and talk it out, here the other persons reasons and concerns first. If you still can't agree you can always have a third party who is impartial help you come up with a decision, if there is need to compromise he or she has to compromise for the sake of peace in the home.

OK


do you believe the family should have a head

who should be the head of family

SisterCaro:
A family has a wife and a husband who become one, meaning they both head the family.
Decisions are made jointly. You dont take action without consulting or informing your spouse. The little you have you share it with your other half, the problems you face you face them with your other half.

Correct most of the time

What of the times when they have different decisions

SisterCaro:
explain what pastors mean by "you two have become one" when you get married?

Unless you are telling me that marriage is even a union between 2 people where they promise to love and respect each other until death separates them?

You have not answered my q rather asking me more questions

I vote for

AGARAWU23
IAMKINGZLEE
TOMFRENCH
FLOW1759
ADEMOLADEJI
AKPOSY
Jarizod
Lekinz

cc: NLJega

The snake is so loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong

VictoriaBee:
She attacked me indirectly.

if she did, then attack her
Leave her husband or marriage out of it

Mintayo:
That's why I believe feminism and Christianity can not work together!

Lol.. I don't want to get into that this morning,, so let me just watch

You are neither cold not hot, neither here nor there, hence I will spew thee from my mouth

Even feminists don't set store by the Bible callng it an archaic book that has been used to oppress them yet some call themselves the hybrid

naijababe:
Only you can ask this kain kweshun?

I tire.. the marriage attack was just incessant

That is why they create new IDs when they have issues in their relationships..
Because they don't want to leave yet have preached divorce to others

lolaredvelvet:
Don't mind the child, after carrying out extensive research on my past posts, she failed to notice I'm 24.. yet calls me an "old hag" LOL. Starved for attention as usual.

I wish you the best in your marriage.

As rightly noted, no one is perfect but we all should strive towards perfection with all humility and grace

May God help us

VictoriaBee:
Face your husband, old hag and don't reference to me. I don't have your time.
That's if you truly have a husband not lonely and frustrated senile idiott.

Why do you persistently attack her marriage

You are still an adolescent and claimed to be a Christian per your interview

Is attacking someone's marriage a fruit of the spirit?

will start watching season 2

I hope that woman president gets her comeuppance

..

SisterCaro:
i already made it clear that im not wishing you anything bad, dont know why you still made that last point
The Word of God is the truth and life i agree, but it has never posted married men from going against it even when he has a God-fearing submissive woman at home, thats the point i made.
What is happening in real everyday marriages and what God expects marriage to be like are different things. Which is why i said you still have a lot to learn about life.

please clarify

- that she recognises the headship of her husband according to her faith...is that the issue?

- also if a man commits an act and says cheats on a woman...he should no more be the head? the woman is of course free to divorce however if there is reconciliation.. the wife can now be rude to him etc

- are u saying that because humans are imperfect there should be no head of the family?

Shollypopzz

hello?

edwife:
My sentiments exactly.I don't understand how can someone who has never been around a cheat or raised by such,will know what to do exactly.How can someone raised and surrounded by positivity only have negative advices and sermons about marriage?

Shouldn't such a person be more positive than negative?Why should i learn self defence when my life has never been in danger?if you know what i mean?

njokusboy:
If it's true, I wonder why someone would bring such to nairaland, most women here have never experienced such, according to them, their husbands are next to Jesus christ, they don't even know how they might react if such happens to them, how can a blind man lead another.....

I wonder myself because they have perfect marriages

The lady even said she Is an old member..ny first red flag..
No old member has a cheating husband...or experienced infidelity at any stage of her marriage

That's why their first advice is ditch the cheat (first time sef) to the kerb
After all there are other men waiting for you to take you in, even with your kids

The story is a lie joor

I don't know why people bring sensitive marital issues to this forum...

People bring issues to get perspectives...

EnlightenedSoul:
Still unlikely, but time will tell. It's something like a 5 year gap anyhow.

Nooooo

Parity in all..

More stress on women so life expectancy can be equal..

Have a nice week


Where is fula n skllz

seems d facts support your assertion

however this does not change the realities that women live longer than men

Maybe there will be parity soon since women are taking up on more stress

EnlightenedSoul:
We're talking about attempted suicide here.

I will never forget an older boy on my block who killed himself. He had everything, and was loved by all who knew him. He had the looks, the grades/intelligence, the 'status' as a captain of the football team (HS), everything apparently, but he killed himself with a gun to the mouth over a critical argument with his GF. He was only 17.

Male suicide attempts have a higher rate of success, because they generally employ more violent, sure-fire methods. Compare overdosing, for example, to a gun-to-the-head/mouth approach.

It all boils down to method.

EnlightenedSoul:
Men don't commit more suicide per se. Well, they do. What I mean to say is: it's actually women who're more prone to suicidal thoughts. Women attempt suicide more often than men. Men commit suicide more often than women. Notice the difference?

It all boils down to the method.

well u dont have facts to support this assertion

wanting to is subjective

5minsmadness:
.
What do you mean by 'if her game is tight'? If it's the sex thing then no, i don't think so. If hubby really was the one in that video then it's possible he was having a last minute adventure before taking the ultimate step of "I do."

I think she' ll be making a mistake to leave the marriage... If the story is true.

The timeline
if it was before marriage .. na last minute fling
if it was after marriage... maybe she is not satisfying him..hence her game...



Her leaving or not is her choice... it may work for her
it may not
as long as she deals with the conseuqnces of her action

EnlightenedSoul:
The gap between male and female life expectancies is due in large part to the significantly higher rates of homicide and suicide among men.

why do men commit more suciide...

5minsmadness:
Op has deactivated. I guess the shouting match didn't end very well.

How come i feel the story na wash

If it is true though..
meanwhile do you think her game is tight...although there is no indication he has cheated on her after the marriage

..

bellong:
Yea... he won it.... Germans and Formula One....'

I still cannot fathom what the hell went wrong with Alonso for the accident.

I will check out the film. Thanks

McClaren is a disaster this year
But I think that was kimi fault
Happy they got out


The film is fun and action

kimoni..good to know you enjoyed it

bellong:
Are you watching F1?

yes.... seems it nico's day today

i recommend kingsman: the secret service... nice film

bukatyne:
Yes. You got me

How does feminism increase the stress of building a career + home?

well... i assumed it was selfevident that managing a home n building a career will have more challenges

@Home front: each couple find their rhythm.

ok

Is there any evidence to prove that the men left because they were helping in chores or doing 50:50? Does it mean that a man not doing chores makes the marriage last longer? Whatis ccorrelation between doing chores and divorcing When the kids have left?

well..the article implied men were leaving for women who made them feel like men after living for years with women who were like men...

Are the ladies & guys marrying 35+ doing So because they want to build a career first or they married @35+ because they found someone at that age?

marrying late because they r building career n no one available yet

I read it

What Does 50:50 mean? I wash two plates, you wash the remaining two or What?

How do you share chores 50:50?

@Japan, the article did not say. It was focused more on divorce rates after retirement

If men will not marry older women then we cannot judge If they are moving to less independent women or If they are moving to younger women

ok... no problem.....

onegig:
Get round to it fast. the difference between both is like day and night.

Ok

Thanks

bukatyne:
I am mobile So cannot address individual points in quotes.

How Does feminism increase the stress?

which stress do u refer
Except you refer to the expected increase as a result of managing a career and a family..yes?

I am assuming that by home front you mean chores basically.
Why should a working wife be the only one to manage the home?

What do you propose on the home front?
These women in the article(i assume u read it) had men who helped them
yet the men left them after the kids had left the home

A single lady getting a car issue is very much societal: exceptions to the upper class. I have heard it from several people different cultures all Nigerians

Dont get the point here
I never denied they were issues with females and cars in Naija

I asked earlier that How many Nigerians do you know wanted to build a career before marriage? Not start working/earning? How many do you know purposely delayed marriage till late 30s because of their career?

I know a lot..u mean males or females?
I know females in their 30s who are just marrying.. other are still searching

50:50 model as in?
Divorce @ older stages of marriage is not necessarily as a result of career building. As the article pointed out, When the children leaves the roost.

If their marriage was rocky, they might wait till all the kids leave before they split. In Nigeria, it is the MIL travelling from one child's house to another or the husband gallivanting with friends about.

50/50 means the men are involved in home management.. did u read the article at all

I read in Japan, divorce rates spike up @ retirement because the couple now have to be together. I know a couple whose marriage is still standing because they both leave the house early and come back late.

If they Stay 3mths together, they will either divorce/separate or go back to the drawing board.

ok...when they divorce. what kind of women do the men go for?

@Marrying less independent women: on the average, a 55yr old man would have built enough to live comfortably (since they had a career). A 20+ lady who would marry a 55yr old is. oobviously not ready to earn.

Let's look for 55yr Olds who marry less independent 40+ ladies.

And What is your definition of independent.

IMHO: This article doesn't speak to the Nigerian society.

Why marry an old woman when younger models exist

damn


see the huge spit that was thrown on cersei.....


walk of Shame

Specialist900:
I don't know his mind o. I hope he does

OK...let's see

Kimoni:
Of course the issues exist.



Why do I manage the home front? Manage in terms of cooking, cleaning, and the general co-ordination at home? I accept that it's my role and I am happy doing it. I discussed my views about family roles in the Boy's thread, remember? We all have our various roles to play within the family. I dont belong to the school of "anybody can do it". We could help one another out at some point but the resposibility of a particular role lies with a specific person.



That was just an example to show you how society expects you to conform to some standards as a female, but which are not in her best interest.




I don't agree that the issue is peculiar to career women so it's a non-issue here.

the reciprocity of gender roles is the issue here

you don't believe in reciprocity? no...?

on late marriage n midlife divoices
OK..since you don't see it as an issue..no problem then

DAMN and they burnt the Barratheon princess

What price Stannis?

What price for your ambition

Spy360:
But we've got Flamini?!


Hahahaha! Just joking. I believe Wenger will get a decent DM at least to give Coq competition and some break too. If not, he will get enough mouth from the Black Scarf. I trust he doesn't want that.

Lol.. interestingly i dont mind him as long as we dont play a high line
he is ok
Even Mert is ok as long as we dont play a high line

But a new DM is not bad

Tallesty1:
lols....
Google is not the only search engine nah and Nigeria bloggers won't mind delivering it to your doorstep.

Lol... bloggists..