₦airaland Forum

missKiffy:
This unidentified woman has been lying at Amichi street off Olanikpekun road in Surulere Lagos for three days now. Passersby say they have contacted the Lagos State Emergency service but no help has come yet. They say she is alive but looking very ill. Can we get help for her, Lagos government?

OP ... did u sight the woman yourself

forget d uk

either go to canada or us or stay and work after your course work and move to the private sector in naija

other options are african countries or Middle east (for work)

Angola, Dubai etc

Your office may have a study leave option.. take it in so u have a leg in

does wenger see this as a problem

has the problem being solved with only one newbie Dm to play 58+ games

Specialist900:
proper DM to break all attacks before its gets to the defence line

Tallesty1:
They will still be available in the sites.
Exactly.......

You still dont get
yes they will still be on the sites
Not showing on the index means traffic will be starved => less adrevenue

Its possible

Once its not on the google index, its effectively as banned

Tallesty1:
That's not possible.

Topic.. The best thing is for the vids not to be made at all

Kimoni:
I agree to a very large extent with all that has been written in terms of the pressure women face trying to balance their career and the home. It's not easy I must confess, no point in denying that. Yes, women are multi-tasking but in the end, we are still humans.

However, I disagree that she blames it on Feminism. I am very ignorant of what feminism is so I can't even blame it on what I don't understand. I will also not blame societal expectations, inshort, I blame no one if I get depressed. I'll rather take full responsibility.

Seems most of the respondents are in sync with the observations but disagree with the conclusion
so the issues exist..yes?

As you climb up the ladder in your career, it gets hotter, the competition gets real. And sometimes, as a woman, ur battle to cto the top is multi-faceted. You have to deal with the rigors of the job itself, and the men sometimes become an additional challenge - you have to fight the stereotype that woman are not suppose to be leaders even when you merit it; then you have to manage the home front - hubby, kids, etc

I agree but the question remains... why do women have to manage the home front.. according to shollypopz
This is the core of the question.. to be or not to be
This is the superwoman question...

So truly, you can get a nervous breakdown from all these. Personally, how do I cope ? "Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man, work like a boss". The moment you step into that office, you become a man; if you are the boss, then be the boss. Nothing to be shy about. No stereotypes inside that wall.

To survive outside the office, you cannot let society dictate to you. About 6 months after I finished Youth Service in Naija, I had gotten a job and needed to get a ride badly. I was constantly working very late in the office and commercial transportation was getting riskier by the day. Then, I got all sorts of advices from people. Some said I shouldn't get a car at all, some said I should get a very small one - Why? Just because I was a young girl who needed to attract suitors. Hahahhahahahhahahaha of course I didn't listen to all the BS. I not only got a ride but got a driver as well. And life couldn't be sweeter after that. Did I also tell you that suitors started pouring in?

A lady getting a car is not always about society but a function of the societal or economic status
in a few years this will be a thing of the past and be a normal thing
All my siblings had cars immediately they finished school and it never affected their relationship

As a woman, I have since learned that you must not always allow society dictate to you but if you do, then it's your fault. Society does understand half the pressures you are facing. If as a lady you earn so much, you have to let your money work for you. Men are very good at this. You have to outsource a lot of ur traditional roles and do what you know how to do best. "Supervise". Get a nanny, get a cook, get a driver, cultivate personal relationships with ur kids teachers' at school. Build a strong support system for yourself at home, make them happy and you will live happily ever after. Of course, society will call you lazy, millennial woman, all sorts of names but really, what do you care? The ultimate is that you are healthy, happy, relaxed and fulfilled.

@pickabeau - have I addressed any of the points?
I don't know ooo

As per the late marriage and divorce ish, what's the evidence that it's their careers that make women marry late or get divorced? Are women without jobs faring any better?? I think it's just one of those sweeping statements people make so I won't address that.

I agree with you
Delegation can help with the stress


Why do u not want to address the late marriage/divorce angle

She is saying even men who bought into the 50.50 model are leaving their partners of many years after the kids have left the roost to settle with younger, less independent women.

Thoughts?

onegig:
Read the books. Can't remember this happening. She didn't return to winterfell and theon escaped at winterfell. It was his new bride jenlyne or so that got the treatment.

Guess they veered ofcourse in the movies. Not a fan of the movie and that was a cruel and unneeded plot. We all know how bad Bolton was, but adding that is a bit awkward and going too far..

Bro....dont spoil it now.


I still will get round to the book sometime

njokusboy:
Jon snow cannot die, stannnis' witch was at the castle then, they are said to be capable of raising the dead...
If he dies, then the series is as good as dead, the ratings would drop by more than 30%

Never say never

Shollypopzz:
Except I don't know what parenting means, are you saying the younger you are, the better you are are at being a parent??

I am not talking about the conceiving process.

Nope..you got it wrong
I said a older man who has no experience will have a younger woman with him...unlike the case of the woman starting parenting late

bellong:
Funny fans. I am sure many will get too emotional about the movie forgetting it is nothing but fiction.

Bro....
You too will b pained
The way he makes u love d characters then kills them off is evil

That George Martin fellow should be awarded the Nobel Prize for Killery

freecocoa:
You are probably right, I just wonder the need for the show, silence would have been golden.

Lol

I think she will

hence the im not perfect, i dont know it all lines

freecocoa:
Lol, well, it would be a shame should she go back after all done.

bellong:
May their souls rest in peace..

Some fans have prepared a virtual graveyard where they mourn the departed of GOT

http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/television/2014/04/game_of_thrones_deaths_mourn_dead_characters_at_their_virtual_graveyard.html


damn.. that ramsey bolton
r@ping sansa and making impotent theon watch

HAHAHA

Yes too manydeaths....im not fazed anymore

After the deaths of ned Stark, robb starks wife n the viper oberyn..i cannot be shocked again

bellong:
No too many complaints of disappointment from people about those dying.

I am no fsn of seasonal movie. I don't like suspense.

Shollypopzz:
I actually edited my post, this is the edit:


You're right, women aged 35 and above are going to have difficulty attracting men their age because most are married and those that have never been married and are willing to start a family, see the conceiving complication as a big issue.

yes advances in science show that older men have genetic issues too
the question is now in what propoertion viz-a-viz older females

Your "what do you propose" question comes to mind. I think the more society accepts the idea of freezing one's eggs and using a surrogate, the better for us all.


What do you mean by that?? Will a MAN in his 40s be best placed to start the parenting gig??

I guess we have to see how it goes with this acceptance
Nothing like fresh eggs though... i know that is psychology...

Did u hear of the women who had a child from cells harvested from her ovary in Belgium.. superb news.. i hope the cost can come down sufficiently to provide help to people whose ovaries are damaged to no fault of their own

HAHA.. must u try to equalise everything
More often than not, A man in his 40s will have a younger female in the parenting gig... now thats the fact

bellong:
Who is Lord Baelish @Pick

Do you watch Game of Thrones

Im trying to catch up on season 5

EnlightenedSoul:
Loll, no. That's the last thing I'd say being a firm advocate of the financial independence of women. The problem is, many *woman often think it's their responsibility to make sure everything gets done - and if honey doesn’t do it, they’ll do it. They’ll make arrangements to have somebody come in, they’ll leave their job during their lunch break, be there to make sure the person gets into the house to fix something, and then go back to work. They'll enable people around them - they'll baby their children, and then baby their partner/husband as well! They'll banish the "NO!" at the tip of their tongues at work, despite their already teeming workload.

The real problem is, the minute they take on all these expectations, it not only becomes their own expectation of themselves, but everyone else's expectation of them. What they don't know is that saying "No!" when you need to actually gets you ahead, because not only is taking on too much, or "doing it all" stress-inducing, it's counter-productive! These women in the articles obviously needed to delegate, but no they were stuffing mushrooms and then blaming feminism instead.

Speaking for myself, I'm guilty of over-burdening myself too. I literally micro-manage almost everything. I recently tried to take on a second (part-time) job for the summer (for discounts and savings not gonna lie ) despite already having a commitment, school, and full-time work. I'm crazier than most people at this, so I actually fear for myself sometimes. I know there are people who 2/3/4 jobs (they're superhumans IMO), but I work nights, and it would've been insane to keep at it. I lasted, like, two weeks at the part-time Smiling at customers, and pretending I cared about their existence proved harder than I thought.

*I referenced some of The Broad Experience here*

Stress... maybe this is why women live longer and now the modern woman is getting a load of the stress men were wont to take on
Do we expect a reduction in the gaps between male and female life expectancies...
Feminism the great leveller

bukatyne:
How many Nigerian women decide to marry after 35 due to career?

Do you think in the Nigerian space, people marry late due to building careers?

Your question is not clear
make your own observation then we can discuss

---

Shollypopzz:
I guess you came up with this number because of the increased complications conceiving for most women who are 35+? This is where men have the upper hand in terms of being a parent - they do not have to go through the rigors of having a child. They can be 65 and find a young host to carry their child.

I will agree that difficulty in conception is one of the reasons which also led to men avoiding older women
So there is a double whammy - ease of conception, fewer partners willing to marry them.

Since we understand that this is a shortcoming, women who plan on rearing kids at a much older age are advised to freeze their eggs and use a surrogate. This is a way of coping with that problem, won't you agree??

Aside from the cost of such a procedure, will a woman in her 40s be the best placed to start the parenting gig.. another question
Yes i am sure this will become more popular as the years go by.. freezing

If you notice, the men in the article who left their wives and you claimed married younger women, already had kids. So the divorce wasn't because their feminist wife couldn't give birth to a child.
Feminism is asking more women to marry when they are financially comfortable, not when they are 35+. I understand that some women might not gain financial independence till that age, which is why the writer is blaming feminism but there is also a big risk that comes with giving birth while you are not financially independent.
My guess is that, it is left to the woman to decide the lesser of two evils.

I agree.. that was why the woman who wondered why she was alone was called naive

Shollypopzz:
What do you consider as late marriage or early marriage?? That is, If they plan on breeding immediately.

What do you think is the right age for men and women to get married and why??

women marrying after 35

right age for marriage?
the word right is not the best but anything from ,30 for guys and 27 for women is ok

this allows for them to have a steady financial base

Damn

Lord Baelish is such a maestro at politics and flattery

Name me warden of the North
I live to serve

Specialist900:
for how long could he do it? The defence kept letting him down till it overpowered him


Treat the disease not the symptoms

And what is the disease

EnlightenedSoul:
You can't see how aiming to be superwoman on three fronts is bound to carry more stress - especially with such high self-imposed expectations - than being superwoman in one area, if that?

So what do you propose..
Focus on one area?

You have a point

Anita has been forgotten

coogar:
i am yet to see the abuse.....
she has been completely forgotten in the crisis or people are generally happy about what she did. someone had to shut toke up with her dating manual nonsense on youtube.

relationships need no dating manual - what works in your household may not work in mine. every relationship is different & unique! it's a disgrace that her marriage crashed while he claims to be a relationship expert! where were those tips she likes to dish out like she knows it all?

Specialist900:
isn't Manuel Neuer a good keeper? How come he conceded 3 goals in the hands of barca in first leg UCL. Imagine what Merci did to Boateng then faced the keeper 1 on 1. What else do you expect the keeper to do. The keeper will be helpless.


Bottom line, if the defence is good there will be less "shots on target" for the keeper to deal with in a match. Then imagine when the defence sleeps then you have 20 shots on target. Tell me how that keeper wouldn't concede 5 goals no matter his quality

This is not dismissing goal keepers quality o

I hear you

yet Neuer kept his team in it in the first leg

Well care giving and nurturing a child are two different facets of care

The woman is biologically suited to this task due to the anatomy as feeding is a basic instinct

Of course with pumps, this is better now


So what do you propose

Shollypopzz:
This is true, the problem is we differ in the WHY.

You think women are biologically or naturally predisposed to be better care-givers than males. This is where I disagree.

I don't think it has anything to do with biology, I think it has everything to do with gender roles and the society's need to dismiss individuality. There is no organ in my body that makes me better at care giving.
This is as a result of mind-fvcking, as I like to call it. At a young age, let's say the age of 2, when I started to study my environment, the people in place of care-giving were women. If I go to kindergarten, women. Nursing nko, majority were women.
To the point that a male nurse is seen as gay, weird or downright absurd.

You know what trips me about the nursing thing, The fact that doctors, psychologists, and life-coaches are also in the field of care-giving, but guess what?? Majority are males. It's like as long as women are not in the position of leadership, the society does not give a fvck.

We are trained to see and act according to the society's definition of a woman. I have no experience in raising babies, yet if I become a mother tomorrow, people expect me to learn. If my boyfriend becomes a father tomorrow, nobody expects him to learn anything about bathing a baby or whatever it entails. The pressure is on me to learn.

We can always trace this to a time in society where physical strength determined your status in the society and it was all about the survival of the fittest.

I agree with you..some bad choices were made putting so much stress on herself
The question is why this stress compared to her mothers generation

EnlightenedSoul:
This section of the article pretty much answers all your burning questions, pickabeau. Though, I must say I find it funny that towards the end she blames her own decisions on feminism. She does most everything, constantly compares herself to others, doesn't know when/how to say 'NO!', and refuses to cut herself any slack whatsoever - like she's some kind of Superwoman. Newsflash! She isn't.

Shollypopzz:
Feminism is not the reason why these women are stressed or prone to depression. If it were, then it should also be blamed for stay-at-home moms who are more likely to be depressed than working mothers according to research. (Go online, there are articles everywhere concerning great amount of stay at home moms suffering from depression).

Feminism is not putting pressure on anyone. The only thing feminism does, is give you a choice. Because of feminism, a woman that would rather work than stay at home, can now do so, A woman can now get educated in any field of her choice.
The problem is the societal standards and the time most of these women grew up. Most of the women in this article grew up when women advancement was still a little behind from where we are now. They grew up with mothers and fathers who took on stereotypical gender roles and were trained to fit in the roles that society has set out for them.

Ok
So are these roles still relevant today

These women are stressed because they are trying to satisfy themselves and at the same time satisfy society. Today's society still does NOT embrace a stay-at-home dad or a woman that focuses on providing. They want to have amazing careers but also be award winning moms at the same bloody time. This two can NEVER be achieved at once without negatively affecting the woman.
According to one of the women in the article (Shirley Conran), "I’d race home from work, fling my coat on the floor, cook a meal, then play with my darling son until bedtime. And to prove to my boss that I could do everything he feared working mums couldn’t, I’d sometimes still be schedule-planning at 3 am".

Where is her "involved" husband in all this?? Most men also cannot handle excellent careers and home at the same time just like women but the difference is, they are not under any pressure to be physically involved in their child's life. They are fine with "pitching in" and would not stress if they are not "pitching in" enough.

So what do you propose

This is how fvcked up patriarchal society is - because women asked for the same rights as men, they are asked to take on both roles. All the women in this article were breadwinners, meaning sole providers. Why the hell were their husbands not putting in more work at home than they were?? Why do they excuse this?? This is what I call mental slavery. Not once, did these women demand more form their husbands, instead they blamed themselves for not being a superhuman.

main breadwinner and sole are different

The pressure to be fantastic at both, comes from women trying to prove a point that they are just as intelligent and resourceful as their male colleagues while trying to please the society.
The thing is, why do we even have to prove that we are just as intelligent and we can be useful in a corporate environment?? Because of years of oppression and being seen as inferior, we dare not allow ourselves to take days off work. And instead of her to blame the patriarchal and oppressive society, she wants to blame feminism.

This is identical to African Americans in the ghetto blaming civil rights activists for their problems. And maintaining that they were better off as slaves because at least, they had a job.

If u are asking what is the point of women being intelligent or useful in a corporate world, is that not causing more damage to the efforts women have done

We have the former CEO of HP, Pepsico amd Yahoo being women

Why do u think women should take foot off the gas

coogar:
which rent?
maje owns the house - his parents got them the house. toke cannot rub 2 nickels together to afford rent. what are you talking about? before their wedding, maje was staying in banana island - isn't that the reason toke wanted to die there?



she's on a long thing!
a lot of folks are happy about what happened to her. she's stepped on many toes along the way - no one is even directing any glance at the anita chic that got pregnant for maje - that is because people don't like toke. let's assume it was genevieve or omotola's marriage that suffered the same problem....the so called anita would be hiding in a bunker now cos nigerians would burn her alive for daring to break the home of their role models.

Hmmm...you have a point

Anita was abused too however just not as much if it was omotola
But d guy is accusing bloggers of fabrication to spoil his home

cococandy:
@bold can be said to be a direct consequence of stressful work life and home life.

And this is feminisms' fault because?

Are non-feminists essentially women who are content to be idle and not experience the stress of achievement?

People deal with stress differently.
If someone turns to drink for relief, blame their ignorance.

Ok

sounds funny

Anyway she may be milking the popularity of the whole saga as is being suggested just like the kim kardashian 73 day marriage

pity = more followers = more social media presence = more money

coogar:
i cannot believe she hasn't packed out of the dude's house yet. with the way she's advised millions of naija wives to run at the first sign of trouble, i expect toke to be in her father's house by now.

which simply tells you that the noise women make about catching their hubby with infidelity is just what it is - noise. they would advise other women to flee from the hubby but when it happens to them, they stay in the marriage.

HAHA.. mindset...

I just want us to look at the article..

These are the key thrusts of the article


- Large numbers of today’s educated, middle-class women are more stressed, more prone to depression and drinking more than ever before
- Equality of child care responsibilities which still seems to be more on the woman somewhat
- Preponderance of late marriages and start of parenting
- Increase in midlife (20 plus years) divorces

Shollypopzz:
Do you want to discuss the article or are you hoping the article will help confirm your mindset and aid your anti-feminist agenda??

First of all, the person that wrote that article is less than smart and very good at drawing ill-thought out conclusions.

What she listed as the dark-side of feminism has nothing to do with feminism but the need for women to DO IT ALL. You mention their husbands were involved in the home front, but how involved were they?? Or are saying working fathers don't feel guilt too??

She said and I quote, "....were willing to pitch in on parenting and domestic chores." While mentioning that most of these women she spoke to were breadwinners. "Even as the main breadwinner, everything else still falls to me"; "They are increasingly expected to function as carer, homemaker and breadwinner — all while being perfectly shaped and impeccably dressed."


Do me a favor, (the article is very long and there is so much to address) put in bullet points key issues you want addressed and let's address it one at a time.

cococandy:
well by implication it's true.

Do you want her to start saying how the man met the other lady and how they did it and all what not?

Nope
Acknowledging that she is going through a personal issue and understanding or privacy at this time is not analysis or explanation

crackhaus:
Her saga, her problem...but as all things of little importance, will be buried and forgotten all too soon.

True

vizkiz:
I just hope this doesn't become the new trend in town...cuz biitches will start taking em niggaz to court for dumping their ass(es)

Nope as long as you don't let them move into your house
You are safe