₦airaland Forum

dejt4u:
Op, i think there is shld be a sequel to this.. Very interesting..

Mumu, son of Hari.. Lol

Thanks man.

Sequel? Now there is:

https://www.nairaland.com/2587245/acts-king-mumu-son-hari

SeverusSnape:
PointB , You're a genius!... This is creativity at its peak.

Damn!...I was laughing hard while reading this. Hahahaha... I'll always refer the zombies to this chapter anytime they come up with lies. Thanks A lot for this.

My brother you are welcome. And you are free to refer the lying masturbators to this chronology of their woes.

GreatSoul:
@PointB

Don't let such a great talent waste o.
You are creative enough to find a way to take this skill to the next level

I read your 2 previous chronicles and still find this fresh.

Thanks for the counsel.

Whynotthetruth:
Such originality and creativity is out of this world...Kudos bro...I was giggling all through the lines of this great piece...You're a great artist indeed

hehhehehe

Thanks man

HyDee001:

I just read the prequel.
This is a real latent potential.
OP, how about you write a satirical novel like George Orwell's animal farm?

Thanks man,

A satirical novel like Orwell's animal farm would be a great challenge. Deciding the subject matter would even be greater.

Zoharariel:
This write up is not in any way funny & can lead to aggression & violence.

To the violent, are things are violent!

Yeske2:
Hmmm......funny write up that actually made me laugh but you remain a wailer. Wait till 2019

Hehehehe, I proudly accept to be a wailer; I rather wail than masturbate on top of lies.

My people food is ready

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EMANY01:
OMG i have got tears in my eye from reading this .
Point B it seems you are trying to get me shipped to yaba left .
See how people were peeping at me laughing in my office but did not have the courage to ask why.
Please be careful and put a disclaimer:
"This Write Up should be read in a place of work or business AT GREAT RISK to the reader , as massive and uncontrollable bouts of laughter may occur".

Hehehehe,
Sorry if I put in you trouble, I didn't think it was that funny. I've added "Readers Discretion Is Advised."

Jaideyone:
intelligent inputs on phoolish thread. keep waiting

And you keep coming to a 'phoolish thread', what does that say about you?

kettykings:
This made my day, I have not read such creative write up in Nairaland in a very long time.

Thanks PointB for bringing this to light.

You are always welcome brother.

Jaideyone:
you have PhD in wailionogy

keep wailing and if Buhari wins again in 2019 you'll be a professor

Ok, you've been noticed.

Now make way for far more intelligible inputs.

Jaideyone:
ret@rd of this unprovoked attack on a sitting president makes the FP that means Nairaland has been compromised
you can write all the epistle you want. that man remains your president till 2019

I am an artist; I draw words!

ECOTERRORS:
This is grand, I've been laughing my hearts out reading it

Hehehehe,

Thanks dear

honeygirl17:
Am I supposed to read all that?

Apparently, it wasn't made for your kind.

The Acts of King Mumu son of Hari Chapter 1: 1-24

1. In those days, She-cow and his gang of brigands ravaged the land, and they took daughters as captives from the temple of learning.

2. The people cried unto King Jonah the able son of Locki, saying “Bring back our daughters and slay She-cow for he torments us!”

3. Whereupon the Almajirites from the land of Norte conspired with their devotees from the land of Yoruga to oust Jonah the Able Son of Locki from power.

4. Thus did they address the people saying, “Johah Son of Locki cannot protect you from She-cow and cannot bring back your daughters, but Mumu the cattle rearer, son of Hari will.”

5. And there arose the zealot, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger. And he and the people with him took an oath and made a covenant with the people, saying “In 100 days, we will rout She-cow and his gang of terrorists from the land. I will feed your little sons and daughters in our various temples of learning, and make the mighty Dollar same in value as a single Naira! And your able men, I shall give jobs in our orchards, and ten thousand silver coins to those without work. O, good people make me king over you instead of Jonah, and I shall do all these and more.”

6. And these were the men who stood by him, when he thus addressed the people: Oshi son of Gbanjo, Atif son of Tifku, Tifni son Nubu, Sara son of Raki, Ob son of Jeh (these men wined and dined with Jonah the Able son of Locki, and several kings before him).

7. Thereupon, the people made Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, King over them.

8. On the twenty-ninth day, in the fifth month, two thousand and fifteen years after the death of our Lord, Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, began his reign.

9. And King Mumu the son of Hari journeyed to the land of Germania, and upon return called them West Germania, and he forgot also the names of the house which made him king, for his memory often fail him.

10. Thereupon, he journeyed to the United World, without a scribe, to consult with Emperor Omanman son of Balak, the promoter of pervert men, to request for weapons to fight She-cow.

11. But Omanman son of Balak, would not give him weapons, unless he allowed perverted men, openly practice their perversion in his land.

12. And when King Mumu the son of Hari, frail by age, and wrinkled by pain and anger, saw what was before him, he declared to the people “Lo, I am aged, there is limit to what I can do. O people, why didn’t you make me king over you earlier? I shall favour those who helped me.”

13. Then the people ask King Mumu to appoint men from among them who will help him reign as he’s frail and aged.

14. But King Mumu the son of Hari would not budge, for he found none worthy except himself, and those from his household. He said to the people, “I shall appoint them, in the fullness of time.”

15. Thereupon arose from his among his praise singers, a certain liar, Liar son of Momed. He visited King Mumu the son of Hari in the dead of the night and thus addressed him:

16. “O great and mighty King, thou art stronger than Samson, may you live longer than Methuselah son of Enoch and, may you crush all your enemies like Utman Dan Fodio your great grandfather.”

17. “O wise King, do not tell the people you are old and wrinkled and unfit for the job, for I shall tell them that your sneeze can cure their sick, your cough shall defeat She-cow and his army of terrorists, and your body language will fix the land and make crops grow.”

18. “O good king, even when thou shall tremble, I shall tell the people it is the earth that trembles at thy sight, not thy mighty self. And I shall blame all the ills of our land on our last King, Jonah the Able son of Locki, and the good shall be thy doings.”

19. And when Mumu the son of Hari, has been King over the people for hundred days, he addressed the people, and said unto them, “I did not go into covenant with you, neither did I promise to do anything in hundred days. Though I have appointed my friends, family and loyalists into power, it is within my power and my right as King over you.”

20. And the liar, Liar son of Momed addressed the people saying, “Lo good people, our great King Mumu the son of Hari body language has improved our power; his body language has improved our relationship with neighbors. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad O good people for surely, King Mumu son of Hari’s body language will bring food to our table, oil for our lamps, and fix our road, and defeat all our enemies.”

21. The people murmured, but could not speak out in shame for they have made Mumu son of Hari, King over them instead of Jonah the Able, son of Locki.

22. And She-cow continued to ravage the land, and hold captives. The great dollar continues to oppress the Naira and able sons of the land continue to lose their job, and not a single shilling is paid to any.

23. The people continue to murmur. And the liar, Liar son of Momed, continued to tell the people that the trembling King Mumu the son of Hari's body, is the solution to their woes.

24. And from across the big rivers, there arose another zealot, Nnam the bright, son of Dalu, and he addressed King Mumu the son of Hari thus, “Let my people go!”


Prequel
https://www.nairaland.com/2174898/tribulation-jonah-chapter-one-verses


Similarities of the characters with anyone dead or living is NOT deliberate!

ShowYourCertificate:
[size=20pt]This is one of the reasons why I'm looking for Buhari's non-existent WASC Certificate. Would have loved to know what he had in Economics.......lol[/size]

We know he's a dullard, but I doubt he's so dumb as to sit for for Economics exam when Islamic Education is much easier.

I'm sure JP Morgan's response will be "tell it to Buhari's body language."

So nepotism is now an official policy of this administration. Interesting...

So this the man Buhari re-instated? What wrong with this dullard?

#ZakariBui

hehehehe

Interesting questions

#APCPropaganda: Buhari's body language: "Keep me in London prison," Delta State Ex-Governor Jame Ibori begs UK Court - Premium Times

#APCPropaganda: Buhari's body language: "I swallowed several pallets of cocaine," Baba Suwe confesses - Premium Times

Buhari's body language -Batman and Robin to visit renovated Apapa Amusement Park - The Nations

Buhari's body language - Alien life form discovered in Lagos Lagoon - Premium Times

#APCPropaganda: Aregbesola talking drum to attract 20 million tourist in six months

#APCPropaganda: Buhari's body language: Nigerians should expect snowfall for the first time in December, January - The Nations

Buhari's body language: Fishes return to Niger Delta oily creek waters, Otuoke fishermen celebrate - Premium Times

Buhari's body language: Computer village businessmen to hand-out free laptops, others to ten thousand students

But Op,

Shouldn't it be Merchants of Lagoons?

Buhari's body language: Seun disclaims disclaimer claim's ignorance, Mukinat2 missing - Premium Times

Buhari's body language: Local dogs now bark at night, cats catch more rats - The Nations