I need serious advise from experienced nairalanders, please forgive my lengthy message because it requires detailed explanations.

I lost my wife exactly 3 months ago, 4 years of relationship and 13 years of marriage with her before she passed on, she left behind 3kids, 13yr old girl 7yr and 3yr old boys. I understand marriages are full of their challenges but we have been through the journey and we came out victorious having a loving and happy home, a union other partners appreciates.

My late wife was so organized and we trainned my kids to be independent while she travels on local business trips. So I just needed to continue our family habit of buying and stocking everything at home while they manage themselves with the help of an older maid who has been part of the family for many years, in short, we are faring quite well as I continue to mourn my wife and carry on with life.

Here is the problem, from a lot of condolence messages coming in on my Facebook, I had the chance to reply some of them 2weeks ago, I met this single mother of two who invited my kids to her daughter's birthday party, i was reluctant but she said it is time to start taking the kids out since they are yet to resume school, exactly what they needed at that point was the usual outing which has been missing for a while since their mother's sickness and after her demise, approx 6months in total. She said it's not a loud party that she needed only my kids for the small sitting room party.

I decided, went to the party with the kids, it was fun for the kids, I have not seen them happy like that in a long while, it made me happy too, they fell in love with the two sisters and their mother all like a miracle, my little 3year old boy started calling her mommy, others follow and it all seem like a family reunion. We left late at night with her girls asking that they meet again the next day which was a Sunday. To cut it short, my kids and hers agreed to meet the next day except for me. To be honest, the lady is a nice and lovely person to be with, she's a realtor who can work from home, she's real and beautiful, she has been a single mother for 4yrs after her husband travelled out and abandoned them to marry another woman, that's according to her.

She called me that her kids could not allow her rest, they said if we can't come, she should bring them to our house, I mildly rejected but i was persuaded by my daughter and my first son to have them around, I could see that they have bonded quite well, I want my kids to be happy too, that's what I have always wanted for them so I agreed and gave them our address. To cut the story short, I find it impossible to separate the two families that has come together to become one, when they were leaving back to their house my kids pleaded with me to allow them go with mommy to her house, I understand that is real because she's lovely with kids. I had the confidence to trust my kids with someone for the first time in my life. They didn't want to come back, I had to go and pick them up the next day, all of them made sure they came back home with me, we started living together as a family and everyone was enjoying it.

It became an automatic affair with her, I was worried about it been too early, I had to involve few of my friends to seek opinions, some were happy that i could get a good mother for my kids this soon, others asked me to stop the family union and give it a little time to study her character. I suggested some space but she felt very bad, she thinks I am sending them away. I had to allow them stay while I use the opportunity to observe the new found love and family.

12days after, I realize that in a bid to reorganize me and help me to move ahead in life, she totally disregards anything that concerns my late wife whom I still hold dear to my heart, same as my daughter and my adopted daughter, I don't like to address her as a maid. We loved and cherished my late wife, everything she introduced seems to be strange to the norms of the family. If I try to raise my concerns for her to adjust, she will simply tell me that the dead is dead and I should just forget everything about her including whatever she stood for as a mother and wife.

If I try to talk some senses into her to make her understand that brooding over the dead is different from honouring and respecting the deseased, she gets really angry claiming I am comparing her with a dead person. Whatever she discovers as our way of doing things in the family she disregards it and replaces it with her own way without minding how we feel as a family or how easy or difficult it is for us to adjust.

It looks like we are the only ones tolerating and accommodating them here, I have tried with no avail to stop her from insulting the memory of my late wife. I discussed with each and everyone at home, they all wish I could perform a miracle to have them leave because no one can tolerate the mother and kids anymore, I am equally fed up myself and willing to take a break.

I have a friend who is aware of my problems with her, he told me that I am the problem here, he said it will be hard for any woman to fit into our family way of doing things and it will be difficult for us to cope with a different way of life introduced by another woman.

I hope I can get one or two advices that could help. I am quite confused

I don't know the mods here, please someone should help tag them. Thanks

.

If She can’t take the maid as part of the family, she’s not worthy. Na their way. She’ll colonize you soon and make your kids lesser.

Oga, in 12 days she's already acting like the boss. You might be able to cope but please think about the children. From your story, she seems desperate as well and that is not a good sign.

If love is blind then marriage is an eye opener.

Big ass RED FLAGS!

Firstly, seriously you have to let go of the dead, she was so dear to you, yes but let us face the living, your kids and their wellness, you can be remembering her yearly or on her birthday which any woman you want to marry now must support that, still remembering the dead would not allow you to love any other woman dearly again. It would be like she is still living with someone's husband.


Secondly, please try to know if the woman loves your kids dearly, don't rush into a relationship that you will regret later, since you have maid, why not be patient. Be so close to your kids and the maid, ask for their own opinions.


Lastly, watch and pray!!!! Let God and His Holy Spirit lead you. Your kids are your number one priority, work hard and take good care of them, don't just leave them to strangers care. God be with you sir.

That woman is time bomb waiting to explode.

I can't imagine the things she will make u do to your kids as time goes by.

Common 3 months.......u met on FB, visited her house, your kids slept over and now u are living lovers.

This won't end well.

If you had told this woman to give you a little time, at least 9months before you start a relationship it would have been better, I guess she would have accepted to wait till you are ready, 3months is too short to finish mourning and begin a relationship. If you had healed a bit from the loss of your wife, you wouldn't feel bad whenever she refuses to recognize the dead, you would take less offense and allow her handle things her way. If you tell her you need a break now, she will feel bad and insulted, but a break is what you need, or accept her as she is, or you end the relationship. It is very wrong to cohabit with her for now.

Moving this woman and her family in 3-months after your wife's demise is somehow, not to mention the red flags in your post. For the sake of your children, if not the honor of your late wife, take the time to find a suitable, loving stepmom for them.

family6644:
I need serious advise from experienced nairalanders, please forgive my lengthy message because it requires detailed explanations.

I lost my wife exactly 3 months ago, 4 years of relationship and 13 years of marriage with her before she passed on, she left behind 3kids, 13yr old girl 7yr and 3yr old boys. I understand marriages are full of their challenges but we have been through the journey and we came out victorious having a loving and happy home, a union other partners appreciates.

My late wife was so organized and we trainned my kids to be independent while she travels on local business trips. So I just needed to continue our family habit of buying and stocking everything at home while they manage themselves with the help of an older maid who has been part of the family for many years, in short, we are faring quite well as I continue to mourn my wife and carry on with life.

Here is the problem, from a lot of condolence messages coming in on my Facebook, I had the chance to reply some of them 2weeks ago, I met this single mother of two who invited my kids to her daughter's birthday party, i was reluctant but she said it is time to start taking the kids out since they are yet to resume school, exactly what they needed at that point was the usual outing which has been missing for a while since their mother's sickness and after her demise, approx 6months in total. She said it's not a loud party that she needed only my kids for the small sitting room party.

I decided, went to the party with the kids, it was fun for the kids, I have not seen them happy like that in a long while, it made me happy too, they fell in love with the two sisters and their mother all like a miracle, my little 3year old boy started calling her mommy, others follow and it all seem like a family reunion. We left late at night with her girls asking that they meet again the next day which was a Sunday. To cut it short, my kids and hers agreed to meet the next day except for me. To be honest, the lady is a nice and lovely person to be with, she's a realtor who can work from home, she's real and beautiful, she has been a single mother for 4yrs after her husband travelled out and abandoned them to marry another woman, that's according to her.

She called me that her kids could not allow her rest, they said if we can't come, she should bring them to our house, I mildly rejected but i was persuaded by my daughter and my first son to have them around, I could see that they have bonded quite well, I want my kids to be happy too, that's what I have always wanted for them so I agreed and gave them our address. To cut the story short, I find it impossible to separate the two families that has come together to become one, when they were leaving back to their house my kids pleaded with me to allow them go with mommy to her house, I understand that is real because she's lovely with kids. I had the confidence to trust my kids with someone for the first time in my life. They didn't want to come back, I had to go and pick them up the next day, all of them made sure they came back home with me, we started living together as a family and everyone was enjoying it.

It became an automatic affair with her, I was worried about it been too early, I had to involve few of my friends to seek opinions, some were happy that i could get a good mother for my kids this soon, others asked me to stop the family union and give it a little time to study her character. I suggested some space but she felt very bad, she thinks I am sending them away. I had to allow them stay while I use the opportunity to observe the new found love and family.

12days after, I realize that in a bid to reorganize me and help me to move ahead in life, she totally disregards anything that concerns my late wife whom I still hold dear to my heart, same as my daughter and my adopted daughter, I don't like to address her as a maid. We loved and cherished my late wife, everything she introduced seems to be strange to the norms of the family. If I try to raise my concerns for her to adjust, she will simply tell me that the dead is dead and I should just forget everything about her including whatever she stood for as a mother and wife.

If I try to talk some senses into her to make her understand that brooding over the dead is different from honouring and respecting the deseased, she gets really angry claiming I am comparing her with a dead person. Whatever she discovers as our way of doing things in the family she disregards it and replaces it with her own way without minding how we feel as a family or how easy or difficult it is for us to adjust.

It looks like we are the only ones tolerating and accommodating them here, I have tried with no avail to stop her from insulting the memory of my late wife. I discussed with each and everyone at home, they all wish I could perform a miracle to have them leave because no one can tolerate the mother and kids anymore, I am equally fed up myself and willing to take a break.

I have a friend who is aware of my problems with her, he told me that I am the problem here, he said it will be hard for any woman to fit into our family way of doing things and it will be difficult for us to cope with a different way of life introduced by another woman.

I hope I can get one or two advices that could help. I am quite confused

Sorry for the death of your beloved wife

At this stage, you all need a break

She should stay with her children wherever she is while you stay with yours and that doesn't stop you guys from communicating

As long as you are still mourning your late wife, you will by mistake, always bring her ideas up with another woman and women in general doesn't like that

She may be desperate for a home or marriage but she is so much in a hurry about it

Give her a break to understand if the relationship worths it

This time around, you and your kids have to adjust because you guys have lived a life fashioned by their late mum of which you find nothing wrong with it

You getting another woman, will not want to continue with such life and ideas and may want to bring her own system which may not work

As it is now, you may find it difficult to cope with another woman because she must definitely come with her own system which may not suit your children

Meaning that a second marriage will be some how sensitive

family6644:
I need serious advise from experienced nairalanders, please forgive my lengthy message because it requires detailed explanations.

I lost my wife exactly 3 months ago, 4 years of relationship and 13 years of marriage with her before she passed on, she left behind 3kids, 13yr old girl 7yr and 3yr old boys. I understand marriages are full of their challenges but we have been through the journey and we came out victorious having a loving and happy home, a union other partners appreciates.

My late wife was so organized and we trainned my kids to be independent while she travels on local business trips. So I just needed to continue our family habit of buying and stocking everything at home while they manage themselves with the help of an older maid who has been part of the family for many years, in short, we are faring quite well as I continue to mourn my wife and carry on with life.

Here is the problem, from a lot of condolence messages coming in on my Facebook, I had the chance to reply some of them 2weeks ago, I met this single mother of two who invited my kids to her daughter's birthday party, i was reluctant but she said it is time to start taking the kids out since they are yet to resume school, exactly what they needed at that point was the usual outing which has been missing for a while since their mother's sickness and after her demise, approx 6months in total. She said it's not a loud party that she needed only my kids for the small sitting room party.

I decided, went to the party with the kids, it was fun for the kids, I have not seen them happy like that in a long while, it made me happy too, they fell in love with the two sisters and their mother all like a miracle, my little 3year old boy started calling her mommy, others follow and it all seem like a family reunion. We left late at night with her girls asking that they meet again the next day which was a Sunday. To cut it short, my kids and hers agreed to meet the next day except for me. To be honest, the lady is a nice and lovely person to be with, she's a realtor who can work from home, she's real and beautiful, she has been a single mother for 4yrs after her husband travelled out and abandoned them to marry another woman, that's according to her.

She called me that her kids could not allow her rest, they said if we can't come, she should bring them to our house, I mildly rejected but i was persuaded by my daughter and my first son to have them around, I could see that they have bonded quite well, I want my kids to be happy too, that's what I have always wanted for them so I agreed and gave them our address. To cut the story short, I find it impossible to separate the two families that has come together to become one, when they were leaving back to their house my kids pleaded with me to allow them go with mommy to her house, I understand that is real because she's lovely with kids. I had the confidence to trust my kids with someone for the first time in my life. They didn't want to come back, I had to go and pick them up the next day, all of them made sure they came back home with me, we started living together as a family and everyone was enjoying it.

It became an automatic affair with her, I was worried about it been too early, I had to involve few of my friends to seek opinions, some were happy that i could get a good mother for my kids this soon, others asked me to stop the family union and give it a little time to study her character. I suggested some space but she felt very bad, she thinks I am sending them away. I had to allow them stay while I use the opportunity to observe the new found love and family.

12days after, I realize that in a bid to reorganize me and help me to move ahead in life, she totally disregards anything that concerns my late wife whom I still hold dear to my heart, same as my daughter and my adopted daughter, I don't like to address her as a maid. We loved and cherished my late wife, everything she introduced seems to be strange to the norms of the family. If I try to raise my concerns for her to adjust, she will simply tell me that the dead is dead and I should just forget everything about her including whatever she stood for as a mother and wife.

If I try to talk some senses into her to make her understand that brooding over the dead is different from honouring and respecting the deseased, she gets really angry claiming I am comparing her with a dead person. Whatever she discovers as our way of doing things in the family she disregards it and replaces it with her own way without minding how we feel as a family or how easy or difficult it is for us to adjust.

It looks like we are the only ones tolerating and accommodating them here, I have tried with no avail to stop her from insulting the memory of my late wife. I discussed with each and everyone at home, they all wish I could perform a miracle to have them leave because no one can tolerate the mother and kids anymore, I am equally fed up myself and willing to take a break.

I have a friend who is aware of my problems with her, he told me that I am the problem here, he said it will be hard for any woman to fit into our family way of doing things and it will be difficult for us to cope with a different way of life introduced by another woman.

I hope I can get one or two advices that could help. I am quite confused

yes your friend is right. Naija woman would not want to live under the shadow of another woman except foreign women. If you want to keep the memory of your wife I support that. However, find a way to balance things so that peace would reign.

family6644:
I need serious advise from experienced nairalanders, please forgive my lengthy message because it requires detailed explanations.

I lost my wife exactly 3 months ago, 4 years of relationship and 13 years of marriage with her before she passed on, she left behind 3kids, 13yr old girl 7yr and 3yr old boys. I understand marriages are full of their challenges but we have been through the journey and we came out victorious having a loving and happy home, a union other partners appreciates.

My late wife was so organized and we trainned my kids to be independent while she travels on local business trips. So I just needed to continue our family habit of buying and stocking everything at home while they manage themselves with the help of an older maid who has been part of the family for many years, in short, we are faring quite well as I continue to mourn my wife and carry on with life.

Here is the problem, from a lot of condolence messages coming in on my Facebook, I had the chance to reply some of them 2weeks ago, I met this single mother of two who invited my kids to her daughter's birthday party, i was reluctant but she said it is time to start taking the kids out since they are yet to resume school, exactly what they needed at that point was the usual outing which has been missing for a while since their mother's sickness and after her demise, approx 6months in total. She said it's not a loud party that she needed only my kids for the small sitting room party.

I decided, went to the party with the kids, it was fun for the kids, I have not seen them happy like that in a long while, it made me happy too, they fell in love with the two sisters and their mother all like a miracle, my little 3year old boy started calling her mommy, others follow and it all seem like a family reunion. We left late at night with her girls asking that they meet again the next day which was a Sunday. To cut it short, my kids and hers agreed to meet the next day except for me. To be honest, the lady is a nice and lovely person to be with, she's a realtor who can work from home, she's real and beautiful, she has been a single mother for 4yrs after her husband travelled out and abandoned them to marry another woman, that's according to her.

She called me that her kids could not allow her rest, they said if we can't come, she should bring them to our house, I mildly rejected but i was persuaded by my daughter and my first son to have them around, I could see that they have bonded quite well, I want my kids to be happy too, that's what I have always wanted for them so I agreed and gave them our address. To cut the story short, I find it impossible to separate the two families that has come together to become one, when they were leaving back to their house my kids pleaded with me to allow them go with mommy to her house, I understand that is real because she's lovely with kids. I had the confidence to trust my kids with someone for the first time in my life. They didn't want to come back, I had to go and pick them up the next day, all of them made sure they came back home with me, we started living together as a family and everyone was enjoying it.

It became an automatic affair with her, I was worried about it been too early, I had to involve few of my friends to seek opinions, some were happy that i could get a good mother for my kids this soon, others asked me to stop the family union and give it a little time to study her character. I suggested some space but she felt very bad, she thinks I am sending them away. I had to allow them stay while I use the opportunity to observe the new found love and family.

12days after, I realize that in a bid to reorganize me and help me to move ahead in life, she totally disregards anything that concerns my late wife whom I still hold dear to my heart, same as my daughter and my adopted daughter, I don't like to address her as a maid. We loved and cherished my late wife, everything she introduced seems to be strange to the norms of the family. If I try to raise my concerns for her to adjust, she will simply tell me that the dead is dead and I should just forget everything about her including whatever she stood for as a mother and wife.

If I try to talk some senses into her to make her understand that brooding over the dead is different from honouring and respecting the deseased, she gets really angry claiming I am comparing her with a dead person. Whatever she discovers as our way of doing things in the family she disregards it and replaces it with her own way without minding how we feel as a family or how easy or difficult it is for us to adjust.

It looks like we are the only ones tolerating and accommodating them here, I have tried with no avail to stop her from insulting the memory of my late wife. I discussed with each and everyone at home, they all wish I could perform a miracle to have them leave because no one can tolerate the mother and kids anymore, I am equally fed up myself and willing to take a break.

I have a friend who is aware of my problems with her, he told me that I am the problem here, he said it will be hard for any woman to fit into our family way of doing things and it will be difficult for us to cope with a different way of life introduced by another woman.

I hope I can get one or two advices that could help. I am quite confused

just three months after ur wife passed on,ur thinking of another woman already ....single mother for that matter with kids. una see as una dey carry divide una house ...better leave that woman alone.....she will be nice now but I assure u that u will still come back to lament on nairaland...let ur adopted daughter take care of d house as best as she can.......


Fear women...any child apart from their own child dey suffer am....u can c d red flags already and it's plenty

It's too early to be in another relationship let alone marriage. You need to take a break from her.

Oga, please be careful. Dont let her pressure you and yours into a new norm....your wife although dead should never be forgotten. Her labour should never be forgotten. Yes move on but remember all the values and teachings she left in the kids...biko dont let her be turning in her grave. Good luck.

sisisioge:
Oga, please be careful. Dont let her pressure you and yours into a new norm....you wife although dead should never be forgotten. Her labour should never be forgotten. Yes move on but remember all the values and teachings she left in the kids...biko dont let her be turning in her grave. Good luck.

Exactly the problem I am having, she doesn't seem to see anything sensible in my late wife values and teachings and this is making me to dislike her and she doesn't seem to know despite trying so hard to explain to her.

family6644:



Exactly the problem I am having, she doesn't seem to see anything sensible in my late wife values and teachings and this is making me to dislike her and she doesn't seem to know despite trying so hard to explain to her.

I do not think it is too late to end whatever madness is going on before it destroys what you have with your kids. As a woman I can tell you she had this all figured out and clearly desperate. Change is necessary if the current situation is bad, and not just because one wants to change something to suit oneself which i suspect she is trying to do.

If you are not living together, tell her nicely that you want to spend some time with your kids alone, in memory of their mother and that you would appreciate that you guys stay off the relationship for now.

She hasnt come in yet and you are at this point, what do you think will become of your children eventually, maybe treat them badly if she has no regards for their mum, pls tread with care and commit it all to prayers

Carchoice:
She’s right though, if you want to move on from the past, keep it away from your discussions with her. But it is going to be hard for you.

Either cope with her or run for your sanity. And to be honest, you sound like man that a lady can easily tell what and what not to do. You be soft bread.

You're right, I am quite soft but definitely not stupid, that's why I am able to notice these things this early

She should not be in a rush to have things done her way. She might have good intentions, but her management skills are quite poor and will betray those good intentions.

What she needs to do first, is learn how to fit into the way your late wife ran the house, and then very gradually make changes little by little.
Just showing up and wanting to do a complete overhaul is very disrespectful.

Why are you people even living together so soon?
This I don't understand...

You are yet to fully process the loss of your wife nor your children, of their mother and the woman and her kids served as a distraction from the loss.

Right now, you and your children do not need the other family in your lives. Be assertive and severe that relationship immediately. Her coming into your home to instantly impose change in your family life is a huge red flag, who is she to decide on how you and your children should remember your late wife and their mother.

Keep off from intimate relationships, let it be exclusively you and your children for now as you all are not yet psychologically ready to have another woman come in as a wife and a mother as you are all vulnerable.

If ever in the future you will opt for a blended family (where the woman is coming into the marriage with her own children) make sure the woman is still not legally entangled with the man she informs you to be her ex-husband. It will be advisable that you both seek out a PROFESSIONAL family therapist that would help you gain insights into the intricacies of the blended family setups because it is a LANDMINE and it needs skills to navigate it.

family6644:



Exactly the problem I am having, she doesn't seem to see anything sensible in my late wife values and teachings and this is making me to dislike her and she doesn't seem to know despite trying so hard to explain to her.

Less than 3 months ur wife died, u are already cohabiting with another woman? Do u even respect your late wife at all? & u want another woman to respect her? U no try at all

Rubbiish:

Less than 3 months ur wife died, u are already cohabiting with another woman? Do u even respect your late wife at all? & u want another woman to respect her? U no try at all

You are right but I naturally will never see myself doing this, this is the reason for my long explanations, I find myself in the situation, I didn't plan for it or work it out. I never wanted it but note that my kids are involved but I guess now they can see for themselves

Rubbiish:

Less than 3 months ur wife died, u are already cohabiting with another woman? Do u even respect your late wife at all? & u want another woman to respect her? U no try at all

I am beginning to think this is the reason she's not respecting my late wife

family6644:



Exactly the problem I am having, she doesn't seem to see anything sensible in my late wife values and teachings and this is making me to dislike her and she doesn't seem to know despite trying so hard to explain to her.

Have nothing to do with that calculative/manipulative
woman!
She had everything planned out right from the start and you're the perfect candidate! You fell right into her trap!
She's been the one making all the major moves. (The birthday party was a perfect excuse to penetrate)
Imagine forcing you to move on from mourning your wife...
Have you had sex with her already?
Have you bothered to find out why her husband left her? Without caring about his children?
Oga, shine your eyes o! Your children don't know better...they just miss the care of a mother, which the woman seem to be taking advantage of.
You think you know her but you have no idea! None!

family6644:


You're right, I am quite soft but definitely not stupid, that's why I am able to notice these things this early

I’ll advise you cut ties with her. As at now, you are VERY vulnerable. You can easily fall for all her tricks. Give yourself time and focus more on your children.

You are not a serious person and never loved your late wife genuinely. I understand people grieve differently but moving on from someone you dated for 13 whole years before marriage says a lot about your person.

Single mothers aren't all bad buy most are walking time bombs. If she claimed her husband abandoned her, then find out why. It is crucial.

You clearly haven't healed from the previous relationship but you are already conflicted with a mother of two who doesn't regard the deeds of your late wife. I can assure you that your late wife's kids are almost on their way out of the house the moment she comes in.

You are better off alone for now. Heal properly first. If your kids want playmates or have fun, look for the nearest parks and take them there on weekends. If you can't do this, buy them distractions that could take their minds off the single mother's kids.

Who remarries in 3 months after their wife passes on when it is not Kanayo O. Kanayo in Nollywood films?

family6644:



Exactly the problem I am having, she doesn't seem to see anything sensible in my late wife values and teachings and this is making me to dislike her and she doesn't seem to know despite trying so hard to explain to her.

Oga, you sef need patience. 3 months another woman don dey assume wife. Biko, pity those kids.

Just 3 months after your wife's demise and your penis can penetrate another woman? You be strong man o! I'm afraid to say that you never loved your wife neither do you have any respect for her.
Oga be careful before you harm yourself o!
Imagine if a woman did this! Won't we call her witch?

@Op; sorry for your loss and my condolences to you and the kids.

Just want to say that if this was done by a woman who lost her husband within 3 months, a lot of noise would have been made saying it’s too quick for her to move on and marry again.

Only 3 months your wife died and you already have another woman in sight? I agree with others who have said you didn’t love your late wife eventhough you had 4 years of relationship and 13 years of marriage with her.

Another woman has already arrived telling you how to talk, how to behave, how to eat, how to dress etc; and you think it will get easier after you marry her; RIGHT?

You need to give yourself time to grieve and have a clearer picture of what you want next in a wife if/when you eventually settled down again.

Also you can’t keep comparing your late wife with your new wife as I don’t think that’s appropriate (my opinion though). You should also know that they might not want to do things the way your late wife did things as everyone has its own way and method of doing things and it’s neither right nor wrong.

From the way you described this lady, she looks like the type who will suffer your children and make hers enjoy (maybe/maybe not); so think verrrrryyyyy well before you finalise things with her if at all to avoid stories that touch and the I MADE A MISTAKE SLOGAN. ENOUGH SAID