Very disrespectful. You ask him to wash the plate the restaurant? If na house self, that's probably alright. You people seem to forget so soon. You clearly indicated that the man opened the business for you. He probably did that because of the unforeseen. An average man would assume the same thing (I hate the slap part though. That's a bad thing to do, regardless). As in you must think cos he's had a setback, you can order him around. It looks like you only can really know who a woman is if you are not doing well financially. You probably did not think that was demeaning at the time. Know the Nigerian man and know peace ladies.

BonPatrick:
A mother of two who pleaded anonymity has taken to social media to ask members of the public whether it was wrong to ask her husband to do the dishes.
According to her, her husband lost his business to scam and she has been the one catering for the family with the little she earns from her restaurant business.
She said: “Truly, My husband was the one who opened the restaurant for me, I cook very well and I still do my cooking by myself as I only direct my staffs on what to do.My husband lost his business to scam and since then it’s been me carrying the responsibilities, most of my staffs left because I could not pay them and at some point, all of them left and I had to do everything by myself.

“My husband is doing nothing yet, he just sits at home and maybe go pick the kids from school and all, so yesterday I had lots of customers in the shop, I was doing everything by myself, so as soon as my husband walked in, I asked him to help me rush to wash a few plates while I serve, and he looked at me in some strange way, I repeated myself and he slapped me in public, and walked out.

“I ignored the embarrassment and even most of my customers left, when I got home I noticed that he moved his things, I called his phone and he said he is in his friends place till he gets a job he will come home, that I should take care of the kids.

“He cut the call I tried to call and the next he blocked me.

“What did I do wrong, who is supposed to be upset? I just need to clear my conscience.”

Gbest90:


Na Wa o. This kind comment dey cos headache.

Make una dey try use pidgin na. No be by force to speak English.

Lwkmd walahi you no well o!

acevic:


Were you there to have known how she said it?

No how a woman would say "rush and wash plate" that it won't sound offensive.

Let's see what's wrong and say it as it is, putting ourselves in real life situations. What and how the woman said it was rude(making the husband instantly felt like an errand boy), saying such in front of her customers is even worse.

Telling your husband to wash plate in public to serve others food is evil and bad, although he should have walked away without hitting you but you deserved that slap small

Hearing only the woman's aide, I would say that the man has ego problems. I need to hear his own side as well.

If your wife feeds/clothes you for some months without insulting you, you then know that she truly loves and respect you as well

i hate men

You caught ur husband by surprise.
He tried to ignore it at first,which should have given you the res flag,but u repeated it.
Like someone above said,you should have discussed the issue with him at home.tgat way,he would tell you if he is comfortable with it or not

I am trying hard not to insult you for your opinion, madam. The man clearly indicated disapproval the first time. A wise wife wouldn't repeat it again unless she doesn't give a damn. Wash the plates boy. I am feeding you. That was probably the straw that broke the camel's back. You thought it was smart to bring up the example of men frying Akara with their wives. I fear you.

bigtt76:
At home it's ok but in public? No dear. What happened to your staff? Can't they do the dish or get some indigent person in the neighborhood to do that for you and you feed him/her if you can't afford paying them a wage.

The husband too proud, he ought to have taken the initiative and assist the wife. I've seen men frying akara with their wives on the roadside to make ends meet.

I believe the man didnt just slap u just because u asked him to wash plates. Altgough, asking him to go ans wash plates when he is just walking in shows that u must have being used to insulting the man. At home, u must have being telling him to do crazy things because u got home tired. Even the manner u will be telling him to do things will be odd because u now feed the family just for losing his job. He is FIRST ur husband and SECOND ur elder brother. U dont need to tell a man to do something before he does it IF u always show him his respect. When the man sits down and analyse that plates needs to be washed, he would go and do that. Who knows what u have done previously that lead to the FACTORY RESET SLAP. He needs space to cook off. Take kids to school. when he comes back, get on ur kneels and appologize. Ur man is down emotionally already.

anungangampu:
Before a man will leave his house to a friend's In search for a job after slapping his wife in public show how long the man has been degraded by his wife before having such uncontrollable anger unleashed in public. If I read between the lines the problem didn't start there and the man already felt humiliated even before the first request.
The man left the house because continuous words from his wife will result in more battry . As a wise man he left to keep his mind sane.

Many don't know how women hunt their husband like witches once the earning table turns.

I can tell you this woman felt guilty, reason she want people to tell her the truth. Your husband is at the worst state in his life and at least if u don't care enough, don't start to show it in public. Any man will react to such.

It's not about washing dishes I can tell you.. Forget about the dishes it was just how she wanted everyone's approval by telling us the husband is broke and she takes all expenses and her husband should jump up to wash dishes as if it was his job specification.

Exactly my thoughts.
Those who support the woman either are women mostly(cos the way men and women reason are different) or men who didn't read between the line.
No man will pack out of his house just because he slapped his wife for disrespecting him in public. It just shows that that was the height of what the man can take, from all what he's been taking from her since

Margy:
The man is stupid!

I have seen husband and wife running a business together..and guess what ..it's booming.

Just in front of my yard.. a woman owns a retail shop..the husband stocked it up..the next thing I saw was the husband helping in the sales in the shop..the shop is growing

Another man helps his wife in the restaurant..she does the cooking and the man takes orders, serves the customers and helps out.where necessary...customers keep flowing san-san into the restaurant..

There's a program called restaurant impossible aired on food network.. I see a lot of husband and wife and children running their restaurants.

All I can say is that this man will die a wretched poor man..proud grasshopper with no shi-shi.. yeyee dey smell

thank u my brother, u are a good man and u hv sense. What is wrong helping ur wife run her business? Some men are just what I don't know.

Maybe she didn't ask the right way. There's a way you package such a request. I do the dishes at home sometimes to assist her. There's nothing wrong with it, infact it's so romantic to assist her with some house chores. However, there's a way you say it,it becomes an insult to the man. Wifeys should learn to be intelligent with the use of words when making certain request from their men.

Margy:
The man is stupid!

I have seen husband and wife running a business together..and guess what ..it's booming.

Just in front of my yard.. a woman owns a retail shop..the husband stocked it up..the next thing I saw was the husband helping in the sales in the shop..the shop is growing

Another man helps his wife in the restaurant..she does the cooking and the man takes orders, serves the customers and helps out.where necessary...customers keep flowing san-san into the restaurant..

There's a program called restaurant impossible aired on food network.. I see a lot of husband and wife and children running their restaurants.

All I can say is that this man will die a wretched poor man..proud grasshopper with no shi-shi.. yeyee dey smell

All these men you mentioned here if interviewed would tell you how respectful and submissive their wives are! When a woman truly is submissive or in true subjection to her husband, he won't find it insulting when she requests assistance in whatever chores she asks her husband! I'm certain if you ask the husband in question, you might be shocked to learn that she actually asked the husband in some sort of derogatory or embarrassing way! Many here who are trying so hard to be politically correct by their response, if placed under the same circumstances might even do worse! Wives be in subjection to your husband's and husband's love your wives!

BonPatrick:
A mother of two who pleaded anonymity has taken to social media to ask members of the public whether it was wrong to ask her husband to do the dishes.
According to her, her husband lost his business to scam and she has been the one catering for the family with the little she earns from her restaurant business.
She said: “Truly, My husband was the one who opened the restaurant for me, I cook very well and I still do my cooking by myself as I only direct my staffs on what to do.My husband lost his business to scam and since then it’s been me carrying the responsibilities, most of my staffs left because I could not pay them and at some point, all of them left and I had to do everything by myself.

“My husband is doing nothing yet, he just sits at home and maybe go pick the kids from school and all, so yesterday I had lots of customers in the shop, I was doing everything by myself, so as soon as my husband walked in, I asked him to help me rush to wash a few plates while I serve, and he looked at me in some strange way, I repeated myself and he slapped me in public, and walked out.

“I ignored the embarrassment and even most of my customers left, when I got home I noticed that he moved his things, I called his phone and he said he is in his friends place till he gets a job he will come home, that I should take care of the kids.

“He cut the call I tried to call and the next he blocked me.

“What did I do wrong, who is supposed to be upset? I just need to clear my conscience.”

she should have asked in a polite manner, maybe he would have understood that it is a case of urgency not to loose some customers.....

maybe there were other underlying issues that could have influenced the outrage..

The journey of a husband and wife like a mirage.

Margy:
The man is stupid!

I have seen husband and wife running a business together..and guess what ..it's booming.

Just in front of my yard.. a woman owns a retail shop..the husband stocked it up..the next thing I saw was the husband helping in the sales in the shop..the shop is growing

Another man helps his wife in the restaurant..she does the cooking and the man takes orders, serves the customers and helps out.where necessary...customers keep flowing san-san into the restaurant..

There's a program called restaurant impossible aired on food network.. I see a lot of husband and wife and children running their restaurants.

All I can say is that this man will die a wretched poor man..proud grasshopper with no shi-shi.. yeyee dey smell

“Proud grasshopper with no shi-shi”. You left out the fact that he opened the restaurant. It is a mere misunderstanding. I think the husband felt insulted

BonPatrick:
A mother of two who pleaded anonymity has taken to social media to ask members of the public whether it was wrong to ask her husband to do the dishes.
According to her, her husband lost his business to scam and she has been the one catering for the family with the little she earns from her restaurant business.
She said: “Truly, My husband was the one who opened the restaurant for me, I cook very well and I still do my cooking by myself as I only direct my staffs on what to do.My husband lost his business to scam and since then it’s been me carrying the responsibilities, most of my staffs left because I could not pay them and at some point, all of them left and I had to do everything by myself.

“My husband is doing nothing yet, he just sits at home and maybe go pick the kids from school and all, so yesterday I had lots of customers in the shop, I was doing everything by myself, so as soon as my husband walked in, I asked him to help me rush to wash a few plates while I serve, and he looked at me in some strange way, I repeated myself and he slapped me in public, and walked out.

“I ignored the embarrassment and even most of my customers left, when I got home I noticed that he moved his things, I called his phone and he said he is in his friends place till he gets a job he will come home, that I should take care of the kids.

“He cut the call I tried to call and the next he blocked me.

“What did I do wrong, who is supposed to be upset? I just need to clear my conscience.”

Unromantic way to ask for help from your partner. What is wrong in explaining your situation and play to his emotions. Let me start by saying 'honey thank God you are back. This work is just stressing me and customer are all over the place. Trying to do everything by myself now is tasking and can handle the rest but the plates...' in a low and begging tone. Trust me, 90% of men will think twice

Any woman that doesn't have the sense to recognize that her husband is the head, even under pressure doesn't belong in a marriage.

DaCharis2016:
What's totally bad? Considering the pressure on her she mentioned. I think her asking for her husband's help was justified.

I shared this topic with colleague in my office just now and everywhere don scatter, everywhere don burst....

The truth is, you married a good man and you should be proud of him. He set up a business for you when things were booming with him and that shows your man is not just caring but had foresight.

Secondly, he went to the sch to pick up the kids, am assuming he does that everyday since he lost his job, that means he's reasonably and he tries to support you and the family in the best way he can, he's a good man.

I honestly believe that washing the dishes wouldn't have been a big deal for him, only if you ask NICELY, or you allow him make the decision himself...Assuming he enters the restaurant, he sees how busy you were and he just started making effort to ASSIST you. I don't know your man but he appears like someone who would have helped you, nevertheless. But you goofed, you bruise his ego in PUBLIC. Where i come from, we call it lack of respect!

I will not accept such from my wife , but i wont slap her, we dont touch women in my place, i will just WALK away, maybe not come to the restaurant again or atleast for a while.

This marriage no get manual, we have different level of UNDERSTANDING, a male colleague of mine just said he will do it because the restaurant is what is paying the bills at the moment, hes not stupid, it is call understanding between him and his wife. We all need to know the LEVEL of UNDERSTANDING between us and our wife. Once you know this, you will know what to ask, how to ask and what to expect in return.

Please, get your man , apologies to him, no be everybody be romeo and juliet.

You should try and have one person in your employ to assist you. Even if your husband in his own accord tried washing the plate in public, don't you know it would be an honor telling him not to ? Let alone you telling him to wash.
You were wrong lady, though your husband overreacted by slapping you.

Manner of approach matters alot in this. I believe if she had called him behind the curtain to make him understand that she needed his assistance, it wouldn't have gotten to this point.

Sometimes it's not about the asking, it's about how you ask.

Sometime a good morning greetings can mean different things.

Understanding and communication go a long way in resolving conflicts. Again, never pray to experience being broke and jobless, it unnecessarily stimulate anger.

Anger, a weapon being use by the devil to further make things worse.

As a woman, if your husband goes broke, never dish money to him for errands, rather make an assumed calculation and put the money in his pocket. And ask for help on the use of the money.

Prides builds a man, and a man carries its traits unconsciously. Slapping you, doesn't mean he loves you less, but at a lower level of life for men, we need to subdue anger and pride to make things work.

geunik:

Unromantic way to ask for help from your partner. What is wrong in explaining your situation and play to his emotions. Let me start by saying 'honey thank God you are back. This work is just stressing me and customer are all over the place. Trying to do everything by myself now is tasking and can handle the rest but the plates...' in a low and begging tone. Trust me, 90% of men will think twice

.


I do alot of stuff for wify that i cant even tell people outside. Just say it nicely and am off....I hate to see my woman stressed out.

Hardgun:
That's very bad telling your husband to wash plate

...in public!

Margy:
The man is stupid!

I have seen husband and wife running a business together..and guess what ..it's booming.

Just in front of my yard.. a woman owns a retail shop..the husband stocked it up..the next thing I saw was the husband helping in the sales in the shop..the shop is growing

Another man helps his wife in the restaurant..she does the cooking and the man takes orders, serves the customers and helps out.where necessary...customers keep flowing san-san into the restaurant..

There's a program called restaurant impossible aired on food network.. I see a lot of husband and wife and children running their restaurants.

All I can say is that this man will die a wretched poor man..proud grasshopper with no shi-shi.. yeyee dey smell

u have smoked hotshisha. the flavour de rotate ur brain. U mentioned businesses, do u know the way the people running those businesses live in their homes? If the wife respects the man, he would have know what to do. In the so called business u mentioned, have u heard that the wife says OGA GO AND WASH THE PLATES? Maybe the children would say DADDY The plates are dirty we have customers waiting! Not all men give a damn to ur poverty curse, because shisha curse de follow u already.

Food is ready

Your husband, like many men married to "untested women", made a mistake
He shouldnt have given u money to open the restaurant or open it in your name

He should have opened the restaurant as an extension of his business and put u in charge(on a wage)...with clear reporting and book checking.

If that is what he did, you wonmt be able to say he isnt doing anything and if u f...k up, na to tell u to return home and get someone else to run the restaurant

@men, test and knw your wife b4 u start doing stuff like opening businesses for her. If she faiks your test, open the business for urself and put her in charge, treat her like an employee

Jeon:

He's not romantic and caring.

That's why I hate people with pride and ego

Here another idiot,for your village na married men dey wash plate?
The fact he lost his job does not mean he should be rubbish,if he chooses to help on it's own fine,why order him about?

..well, I can't really judge based on one side of this story.
..but for me, I believe how u approached him matters a lot. Cos I would NEVER grant any request asked of me rudely. And my first rxn wud be like of the man..I go look u well, then do like say I no hear u.
Pls let us not compare...the dynamics of every family is different.
The woman cud have asked him to do something else like dish food, serve customers or take orders..... obviously she doesn't know the kind of husband she married. Don't forget that he opened that business for her and helps bring the kids home while she's at the shop.
..and as someone rightly pointed..if u claim u have plenty customers then did all ur staff leave?.. atleast 1 go remain that u can afford to pay.
It's not easy to lose a business to fraudsters..the man is going through a lot just like the wife.

Asking wasn't the problem, the timing was....it's something she should have discussed first with him at home, before asking in public...

Hardgun:
That's very bad telling your husband to wash plate

I was expecting this. Chai . But the man can watch her work to death yet its nothing. What if she breaks down? Its not as if she ordered him. This is a woman thats trying to make ends meet. Was she balancing and watching tv? Guy be considerate. Since i gave birth, i have not been frequenting my shop but hubby comes back and carries baby so that i can have a break. This is someone that left by 8 in the morning. Haba, is she a slave? She is trying for God's sake. Shes not an octopus na. Its condescending but she was choked up too. Its a matter of understanding oh. If you never marry, you need to calmdown. You go change baby dirty diapers, they will throw up on you. You will watch their poop to know their health status. Its what makes you a man.

You have said it in a way you seem good and villifies your husband. Perhaps what happened is that you told him in public in a resentful and insulting way. Perhaps he's been seeing signs which may or may not be there but given his condition he'll be aggressive. He was wrong to slap you in public, but sit down and ask yourself, have I been a supportive and loyal wife in this trying time of my husband's life?

BonPatrick:
A mother of two who pleaded anonymity has taken to social media to ask members of the public whether it was wrong to ask her husband to do the dishes.
According to her, her husband lost his business to scam and she has been the one catering for the family with the little she earns from her restaurant business.
She said: “Truly, My husband was the one who opened the restaurant for me, I cook very well and I still do my cooking by myself as I only direct my staffs on what to do.My husband lost his business to scam and since then it’s been me carrying the responsibilities, most of my staffs left because I could not pay them and at some point, all of them left and I had to do everything by myself.

“My husband is doing nothing yet, he just sits at home and maybe go pick the kids from school and all, so yesterday I had lots of customers in the shop, I was doing everything by myself, so as soon as my husband walked in, I asked him to help me rush to wash a few plates while I serve, and he looked at me in some strange way, I repeated myself and he slapped me in public, and walked out.

“I ignored the embarrassment and even most of my customers left, when I got home I noticed that he moved his things, I called his phone and he said he is in his friends place till he gets a job he will come home, that I should take care of the kids.

“He cut the call I tried to call and the next he blocked me.

“What did I do wrong, who is supposed to be upset? I just need to clear my conscience.”