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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity (18418 Views)
My Parents Move In To My Ongoing New House Without My Consent / Man Dies For Wife's Infidelity In Akwa Ibom, Wife Pleads For Forgiveness / Infidelity: Wives, Mistresses’ Fights Get Messier, Spill To Social Media (pics) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Mikester: 6:30am On May 27, 2021 |
YungMillionaire: If you think divorce is the best way to end this, then you have to think deeper. What do you think will happen to the kids if the home is totally broken? Wouldn't such action affect them mentally? Wasn't there vows made between both couples? Are they better than those who forgave infidelity if they divorce? These things need wisdom and not quick decisions. A broken home isn't a joke. 1 Like |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by okpanachil: 7:50am On May 27, 2021 |
Bhus21:Damn bro I love this . I will pray for you and your family.May God guide you in your decision making. 2 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Bhus21: 8:13am On May 27, 2021 |
"You're weak" "You're effeminate" "You're a simp" The irony is I agree with this assessment of my actions too. I would have said prior to now that once adultery enters, the other partner should leave. I was ready to leave but when you have 3 small children whom you love dearly and do everything for, you have no choice but to put your ego aside. I have made it clear to my wife that our old marriage is over, we're now in the process of redefining what the new relationship will be. To those in doubt, I am not saying divorce is off the table, it still is an option. I'm saying that it's a significant decision like that cannot be taken in the heat of the revelation of the affair. It's just been 3 weeks now so I'm still picking up the pieces. Weakness is walking away in the heat of the moment and leaving the family in jeopardy not dissimilar to what my wife did. Putting aside ego and anger to get to a workable solution is the very definition of strength. I better not share the rest of the full situation sha because una go abuse me tire. The betrayal and disrespect were very deep but how person go do? I cannot control another person's actions and nobody has a right to mete out violence to anyone else regardless of how angry one is. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Bhus21: 8:14am On May 27, 2021 |
okpanachil: Thank you, we need plenty of prayers as I also believe there's a supernatural component to all of this. If I didn't believe a devil existed before, I do now. The level of evil I've seen in the last few weeks is unfathomable. But My Lord pass am and we go overcome. 2 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by okpanachil: 8:14am On May 27, 2021 |
jesmond3945:Which one of these points qualifies or gives her the license to cheat.If a man is been physically violent towards you, why don't you do the needful and treat the issue like an enlightened person would. My blood particularly recoiled at your last point, so the reward for a dutiful husband who is out there breaking his back to make some loot for the family is infidelity. I hate how women many times want all the good things of life and yet don't want to make the sacrifice that comes with it. 7 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by poik(m): 8:17am On May 27, 2021 |
Bhus21: Give her that divorce and have peace. Else... |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by MONEY247: 8:17am On May 27, 2021 |
Bhus21: Why marry men...!!! |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by okpanachil: 8:19am On May 27, 2021 |
Bhus21: Correct, I didn't want to introduce that aspect before, majorly because I wasn't sure of your spiritual inclination. The spiritual controls the physical, I also believe there is a spiritual aspect to it.Tidy that up and you will get spiritual guidance on how to act. Once more I love your commitment to your kids but please be careful,for their sake and yours. |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by poik(m): 8:20am On May 27, 2021 |
Bhus21: He is not Jesus. Letting that woman go is the wisest thing to do. Bible says if the unbelieving depart, let them depart. It’s even better she was the one that asked for the divorce. 2 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Nobody: 8:23am On May 27, 2021 |
She's gone. Do yourself a favor and forget about her. Also make sure if you have the money to check if those children are yours. I keep telling men and even women, don't ever force yourself on anyone. Once you try to woo a woman and she's giving excuses or it now seems you are begging her for a relationship, just know you'll have problems in future. You men will not listen. Sorry. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by jesmond3945: 8:25am On May 27, 2021 |
Bhus21:you have tried. I think you should leave the thread and go to your kids, embrace them and fight for their sake. Probably when they grow and leave the house, you can now check whether your wife is still in the marriage, from there make a decision. |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Graxie(f): 8:25am On May 27, 2021 |
May God bless the Op, you are doing God's work. Women have been praying for cheating husbands since forever. Don't mind nairaland alpha males, men who cheat with impunity. Jesus didn't die and forgives only male cheaters, he forgives all. Heaven will not welcome alduterer because he is a man. All alduterers will not inherit the kingdom of God. Op, it's possible you are her prophet Hosea, but the bad news about Hosea case was that she kept going back to prostitution. You both should involve the great high priest in your therapy. 3 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Nobody: 8:27am On May 27, 2021 |
Hashabiah:Your IQ is lower than your body count.. 1 Like |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Salliet(m): 8:35am On May 27, 2021 |
While I will never support or encourage a divorce I will not fail to warn you that it is one who is still alive that has the time and space to discuss this issue. Unfortunately, until you get to the bottom of this issue, she could begin to resent you and it could become fatal. If separation is an option for a time please by all means go ahead. Separation can be good for marriage depending on the circumstances of the couple. If both partners are willing to work through current problems, separation can be a great way to process individual issues before reuniting. With that said, about 80 percent of separations ultimately lead to divorce! 1 Like |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Nobody: 8:39am On May 27, 2021 |
Where have u been a this while cause na this kind thing I de find Na mumu gentlestdude: |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Nobody: 9:04am On May 27, 2021 |
Bhus21: Men with their Self-Inflicted wound and unending problems with the preferred gender. Wise people who are always willing to learn will continue to learn from people like you who are Scapegoat. I've mapped out my personal plans about procreation ever since I discovered I can have my Offspring without committing to the other gender, Mind you, this Is not the nonsense baby mama or daddy some Ignorant people Involve themselves In. Only Weak Males show too much affectionate to women and get stucked with them. Enjoy your everlasting predicaments. You are not the first and you won't be the last...... 1 Like |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Matheusmartin: 9:15am On May 27, 2021 |
AishaYesufu:. Big grade A mugu. 2 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by SeniorGee(m): 9:50am On May 27, 2021 |
My brother, face reality. What you are experiencing now is nothing compared to what you'll get if you stick to her. You have lost her respect, dignity and honour, but pleas don't lose your self-woth and self confidence. Don't blame anyone just move on. Grant her wishes. Fate and fortune will smile on you bro. Godspeed. |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by JovialJune(f): 9:57am On May 27, 2021 |
I don't want to sound stone cold, but I have to say this; The ratio of cheating wives to husbands is 30%:70%, Op is just one out of the rare instances of cheating wives. Similarly, if we are to go by the number of threads created by wives here whose husbands have side chicks and slaps it in their face constantly without remorse or regard for the wife and her feelings, and then the usual BS advice of so many men/confused women who'd advice the wife to take heart, pray for the cheating husband to change, go for counseling, pray that God should cause confusion between the side chick and husband, watch WAR ROOM and go on daily fasting, the wife should take heart and stay in the marriage becos of the kids, men are polygamous in nature etc. Op is already aware that staying cos of kids seems like the best option, not actually rare for a man, cos it happens in the society with men keeping mum about it, but nairaland boys like to deceive themselves and boast of their online reality like the world starts and ends on the internet. So Op should apply the bolded, see himself as the husband in the context, and hope for the best, Goodluck. 7 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by pansophist(m): 10:08am On May 27, 2021 |
The day a woman will flaunt her unfaithfulness in my face, and confidently ushering me a divorce letter, is the day I'll shoot myself. Like seriously, man, how can you let yourself go so low that your wife can do this to you? In life, the battle are usually won by being a stronger person yourself, and others will fall in line. She sees your weakness hence, she did this to you unapologetically. I'm not referring to her cheating because you can be a president and your wife would still cheat, but I'm referring to the confidence in bad deeds, and her conviction that she can easily dispose you, and not threatened by your worse and unpredictability even though she is the cheater. If you're honest with yourself, you'll admit that what pains you the most is not even her fidelity, but how she disregards your person despite it. How even though she is the guilty one, holds the power, and you, the victim, have to be fighting for negotiation. You've let yourself go so low, that you're esteem have been vacuumed. Now she wants to elope with her partner in crime, and convinced that you're tamed, like a rabbit, you are incapable of being their karma. It starts with you. Go heal yourself, and lots of thing will fall naturally in place. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by JovialJune(f): 10:10am On May 27, 2021 |
RightToReject: Wow smh, if wives had the guts to be cruel to the cheating husbands, I think infidelity won't be as rampant as what we have today. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by crackhaus: 10:15am On May 27, 2021 |
The author of this thread is a full-fledged female and is catching cruise – it becomes obvious as one progresses through the pages. 5 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by ImaIma1(f): 10:23am On May 27, 2021 |
Winneygirl: Was she thinking of him and the marriage when she slept with another? From the OP's narrative, she's not even sober or sorry. She threw it in his face. She obviously doesn't respect or value him and is not interested in the marriage. |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by JovialJune(f): 10:30am On May 27, 2021 |
Lorayne: The earlier you guys stop deluding and consoling yourselves about this bad boy rubbish phrase y'all keep spilling about, the better for you. 3 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by bukatyne(f): 10:31am On May 27, 2021 |
AishaYesufu: How can a prostitute commit adultery? I think the your last sentence applies to you and the other poster I quoted. Justify whatever shenanigans you want to, leave the Bible out of it or quote it correctly. @bold: For someone who claims to read the Bible, the recurring Biblical themes of Mercy and Grace clearly skipped you. |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Lorayne(m): 10:33am On May 27, 2021 |
JovialJune:It's just the truth ma'am. |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by JovialJune(f): 10:34am On May 27, 2021 |
Matheusmartin: And yet you are claiming female when you are boldly not proud of being a man, who is the bigger simp 2 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by JovialJune(f): 10:36am On May 27, 2021 |
Lorayne: How can you know it's the truth when you're not a female but a male? You don't speak for all females in the world. 3 Likes |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by JovialJune(f): 10:45am On May 27, 2021 |
Bhus21: Op doesnt stay in naija, cos a typical Nigerian man will allow the whole world to freeze first before leaving the house for his wife Another thought; I notice only African men who migrated to the western world thrives really hard to mend whatever issues they have in their marriage instead of divorce, perhaps due to the cost involved, divorce settlements, paying alimony, and the rest of what the wife will get? Op did you make her sign prenup before getting married? 1 Like |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Bhus21: 11:09am On May 27, 2021 |
JovialJune: I agree, there's definitely a double standard. The reality however is that modern marriages are a partnership of equals so what is good for the goose is equally good for the gander. Women stay and work on it for the kids, don't see why a man doing the same thing means he's a "simp". Imagine people suggesting violence and cruelty as a response to cheating because "alpha male". May toxic masculinity not kill you people and your families. As for me, I chose differently. I may leave in the end but it will be on my own terms and in a healthy manner that considers the wellbeing of my children. 8 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Aurelius1(m): 11:12am On May 27, 2021 |
Bhus21:I understand your pain, the only logical thing to do now is temporary separation. Give yourselves some space. One thing you have to know and be prepared for is that if you forgive and continue with the marriage she'll definitely cheat on you again. Besides, the emotional trauma of seeing her every now and then knowing that she's not a faithful woman will keep on traumatizing you. My advice is: Just grant her the divorce and focus on getting you kids away from her. 1 Like |
Re: My Ongoing Experience Recovering From My Wife's Infidelity by Arsenate(m): 11:15am On May 27, 2021 |
Lmao, op is a female catching cruise. 3 Likes |
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