How much do you spend on food every month?

ThinkSmarter:
If you want that rubbish to end, Tell your wife to tell her family to stop coming over to your house.
If she refuses to tell them, tell them yourself.
They may begin to show emotions, but that's normal.
Don't get guilt trip.
Do not allow them to use emotional blackmail on you.
Don't be afraid of hurting people in your bid to live a fulfilled life.
You 1st.
Don't impress others and displease yourself.
Be stern and pursue all of them.
Buy food stuffs or give them money when you feel like.

One of the few reasonable post on the topic.

Collinsaik:
Change ur mentality op . stop seeing ur family menbers around u as people who are there to consume your food. food is nothing op. am nt sure u even lov ur wife. do u knw that these are family menbres, and that you wil not always have them around you. be wise op, think like a matured man.

He's not seeing the bigger picture
Na him food matters most to him for now. Calling his in-laws poor

Raxxye:
Me tired of marriage for a different reason; my wife nags the daylight out of me and she doesn't have respect for me!
I'm just tired!

How did it get to this point? What methods have you tried out to change her attitude towards you? Was she always like this? Let's talk.

Na so poor people de behave. Dem no get chills, they will clean you out thinking you are plucking money from a tree. That’s how some used to come to our house, when food is done if we no rush go chop, they will eat everything and leave scraps for even my parent. Come de look you like beans. People should learn to make personal gardens and plant little things.

You can be poor with money, but with food, if you have small space to farm small things, you should be able to provide at least 60% of your meals. Instead of being a burden. When you buy land and building your house,leave small space for a garden. We don’t know tomorrow. Let the parents be responsible for their 9 or 8 children. Better warn your wife. You are a young man with a young marriage, you did not sign up for this.

Ninobraw:
No need for a long story, I got married 2 yrs ago, during our friendship I mean courtship it was very sweet and lovely, we got married 2 yrs ago and I have 1 kid.

The problem I have is that, the girl's family come to greet almost every time and when they come they eat like elephant, anything eatable they eat it, they don't use eyes to see bread tea or butter in my room, they will finish it within a day, I will end up spending a lot during the time, when I noticed that it becomes offen i started telling my wife that I am broke, I don't have money. Although my wife is very nice she earns salary of 40k a month, and do funds and cook many times with her money.

Before now I was it okay, we are like a family, now i just realized that it is making me not think straight within a week oil and cooking things we bought will just finished the cartoon of indomitable that last the 2 of us before 1 month or month plus will just finish within 4 days of thier stay, some time 3 of her family will come once and another set will come again, my wife is the first daughter, the poor parents gave birth to 9 kids all in the name of looking for a boy, so she said although the 2 boys are number 7 and 9 position, her parents should be around man 60s and the woman 45yrs old. so now I am tired of the marriage, I don't know how to talk to my wife about it, that I don't like how thier family do come offend since we got married, my families has never come to sleep over in my place for a night talkless of spending holiday in my place my parents gave birth to only 3 of us 2 boys 1 girl.

Now i am just tired I can't be responsible for someone else burden why give birth to many kids and unable to train them, i plan to have only 2 or 3 kids only, and her family want to make me be like thier father sitting at home doing nothing depending on pension for survival, i have realized that I can't achieve what i should have achieved if i continue life this way.

Before our marriage, we agreed no family members is coming to stay with us, the issue now is they don't stay but come to eat and go, it's a big cheating to me I am tired for real, even if I say I don't have money and she use her own. The money should have be able to do other important thing . She spending is also affecting me a lot, we should have been able to buy land or car or live well, not feeding battalion. I am tired please I need advice on what to do.

....... Bros I no go blame you for your actions but for once out yourself in your wife's shoes..... Just imagine she wrote such a thing about you or was telling her friend about your family in this manner and you overheard her, how will it make you feel..... I'm not saying what they are doing is justified but common, calling them names all because they come to your place to eat is inhuman..... Na this same food other people dey throw way because them no see who chop am...... They are down today doesn't mean they will stay down forever..... You may need their help someday....... I suggest you talk to your wife about your concerns like a real man..... Thank God you said she's supportive, which means she'll most likely be understanding too....... Sit her down, make it look like you're seeking her advice..... Tell her your concerns and let her know the issue is draining you psychologically. .... No be quarrel, no be fight...... If e easy for them, them for no dey come your house come chop....... Calling them gluttons and battalions or whatever doesn't make sense....... And do be honest with you, I am disappointed at you..... Because of food bros u say you Don tire for marriage? What happened to for better for worse? When you were dating her, didn't you know her parents were not wealthy and that something of this nature can occur? Men sha...

Where do you stay?....

The best advise is for you to have a conversation with your wife. Tell her that you ain't comfortable with her siblings coming to feed their bellies in your house.

Be specific and talk with boldness.



A man should face his problems and tackle it, not run away from it.

If you relocate, one of them might come to stay permanently in your house.

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

My oga, you are farmer and food has never been a problem for farmers

MrMcJay:
Very simple solution.

1 Go to Oyingbo market and buy a big bag of unpeeled Egusi.

2 When next they come to your house, put off the TV, say something like 'Aunty Chizoba and Uncle Pius, when you finish eating, help me peel small egusi".

3 Use paint rubber and pack a heavy heap of egusi in front of them let them peel.

Sit back, relax and see what God will do.

You are a very practical person

I have forgotten what I wanted to type

It's pathetic though, but u need to seat ur wife down and talk it out. U're a man, u both need to sit on a round table & solve the issue. Let her see things from ur perspective. Let her know that u're more concerned about better things to have with money than blowing it on food alone. Let her know that u're not too young to start ur own building project now. U too can start planning for a better tomorrow starting from today. God forbid, if the two of u lose ur job today, will they still come around to eat like hungry goat?

airminem:
My philosophy is basically this, and this is something that i live by, and i always have, and i always will. Dont ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever. No matter what. No matter where, or who, or who you were with, or where you are, or where you've been. Ever, for any reason what so ever... What am i even saying self

My fellow Nairalander op, it is well with you.

. Bros that one you smoked this evening, is it from osogbo or cotonou?

Relocate to Daura or sambisa forest. .

stupidmod3:
nope didn't I, i simply let him know d leaving condition, wud it b better if he had come n I start giving altitude? am a straight forward fellow dont have time for saying one thing n doing another.

like i said hw works unless he was looking for where to b eating 247 while saving his money then he isnt a good fellow

From your statement, you LL be fuckiingly stingy that air cannot breath through your ✊. Imagine, your last sentence...

Oh boy! Let the truth be told. Is like your wife contributes to 75 % of her salary to the family upkeep. I know your type.

But anyway just sit her down and explain things to here. Relocate! Relocate!!! No be with money? Or are you relocating to sambisa forest?

psalmuel76:
you will need to calm down, talk to her, explain everything to her...and look for wayout to the problem......marriage is not a childs play.... this is just 2years, you just started......learn to be patience....

....... The op never see chon chin....i was earning 13k per month and accommodated my ex and 4 of her siblings for almost a year..... That one na babe o... Not even wife.....we all go dey alright lass lass

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

Divorce her.

WINDSOW:
From your statement, you LL be fuckiingly stingy that air cannot breath through your ✊. Imagine, your last sentence...

lol keep imagining, nah u get ur thought

You are lamenting because your in-laws are coming over and snack on your food ? So much that it makes you " tired " of your 2yr old marriage with JUST 1 child ?

The problem is clearly with you, the approach and your choice of words says alot more about you than the " buffoons " you've called your in-laws.

When you marry a lady, you essentially have 3 families; your immediate ( wife and kids), your own family and your wife's family and as a man you should be able to carefully and with sensitivity navigate them all.

You see a challenge and instead of rising to and above it, you've chosen to laments, threatening thunder and brimstone, fuming with anger and frustrations. You should strive harder and to even think your wife is bringing in money and supportive; the fact that you can't find a middle ground with your in-laws is a betrayal on its own.

Do not allow the devil take hold of your home and rob you of your marriage. Speak to your wife ( NEVER ask her to tell her family not to come visit ), both of you understand the financial status of the home and can find a way to solve what you perceived as a big problem without insulting your in-laws and making your wife feels useless

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

...... Bros God bless you..... If no be say my ticket cut today, I for ask for your account number make I send you N200........ U too much

Cutehector:
thats how one wanted to trick me into marrying her , she says she wants to settle her siblings first.. Omo i run. Before you know it, na me go turn to UNICEF

Her other siblings go dey disturb your other siblings Lol.

okoroemeka:
poverty is too bad,it will make you behave abnormal and think weird things,what better joy will a man have if his in-laws come to his place and he will feed them very well and even given them transport money when going,when my in-laws use to come to my house I usually prepare nsala soup myself for them with catfish and oldlayers,poverty it shall not be well with you.

I guess you didn't understand the write up. Coming to his house is not the problem here but the frequency and the numbers. If you did understand his point and decided to respond like this and play down his predicament just because your in-laws too used to come to your house, you didn't do justice to his situation.
We all have in-laws that come to visit us or even spend holidays with us but may be it can't be compared with his. Even rich people can't tolerate it.

Bigger123:
I will advice you to change environment i.e move your family to another state.

..... Instead of moving with his family, why not use the money open a small business for one of the family members to cater for the feeding of the rest..... That way, 2 problems solved.... Everyone is happy

Talk to your wife and also mind your language when passing the message. I understand you but you still have to be careful. Your tone looks as if you do their family a favour by marrying their daughter whereas l don't think they sell her to you. Handle it with care

Xenry:
This is what happens when you marry from a poor family, you will automatically become a burden bearer for all.

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Tell your wife to feed her family, while you feed yours! Imagine feeding a family of 11 just because you are married to One—that's unfair na!

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Try and relocate if you can. Because with the way they use to feast on your food, they might as well feast on your flesh when the food is no more .

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But they eat too much ooo! Damn!

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I tell you bro, Redpill no fit handle this problem ooo. So you need to Japa!

Move far away to another location that will be expensive to visit

Asquare84:
Op your case is even better that your wife is bringing something to the table, as I type this I am the soul provider for the family, I mean even common salt I buy, wife doesn't do anything thing as I am typing this her younger brother who is managing with a salary of 30k impregnate a lady and she was operated through CS, her mom on hearing this came to my house with two of her children age 14 and 9. Not minding the ungrateful wife that I will give money to stock foodstuffs she will be complaining money is not enough yet she will not provide anything, she nagg alot and no respect for me. It very wrong to Marry from a poor family background.

this marriage thing is scary o

generalwo:
....... Bros I no go blame you for your actions but for once out yourself in your wife's shoes..... Just imagine she wrote such a thing about you or was telling her friend about your family in this manner and you overheard her, how will it make you feel..... I'm not saying what they are doing is justified but common, calling them names all because they come to your place to eat is inhuman..... Na this same food other people dey throw way because them no see who chop am.. .... They are down today doesn't mean they will stay down forever..... You may need their help someday....... I suggest you talk to your wife about your concerns like a real man..... Thank God you said she's supportive, which means she'll most likely be understanding too....... Sit her down, make it look like you're seeking her advice..... Tell her your concerns and let her know the issue is draining you psychologically. .... No be quarrel, no be fight...... If e easy for them, them for no dey come your house come chop....... Calling them gluttons and battalions or whatever doesn't make sense....... And do be honest with you, I am disappointed at you..... Because of food bros u say you Don tire for marriage? What happened to for better for worse? When you were dating her, didn't you know her parents were not wealthy and that something of this nature can occur? Men sha...

Hehe, different responses.
If some people are throwing food away because they don't have people who will help them eat it, does that mean Op should work himself to death or leave from hands to mouth just because he has battalions of hungry in-laws?
And For better for worse, really? Nigeria is hard already, and for a young couple with one kid to be feeding 8 in laws join together, that's too much burden!

Eya

Is your wife from Imo State?
Those people are parasitic in nature, imagine my neighbor housing three of his wife's relatives....

duality:


You people just throw around the word " poverty" like clowns.

If you cannot afford to open your house to feed a few extra mouths it's poverty my guy

Even in some Nigerian farming villages you can still walk in unannounced and get fed

Anichebe but why?

HONESTFACT101:
so anichebe just this week we came to your house you came here to make it seem we are are hopeless poor gluttons whom have been feeding fat into your pocket^{......signing out✈}