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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Tired Of My Marriage (81595 Views)
My Marriage Is At The Brink Of Collapse Help Me / My Marriage Has Finally Ended / My Marriage; A Blessing Or A Curse. Please Advice (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Tired Of My Marriage by BobbyZrealist(m): 7:16am On Jun 14, 2021 |
airminem: For Christ's sake what the hell does this write up mean. Absolute Hogwash |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by kalu61(m): 7:17am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Ikpongiton:A kid has spoken 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by omoharry(f): 7:17am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Ishilove:Do most Nigerians plan before giving birth ? They give birth like rat and say God will provide . Then before you know it, they become a burden on other people . If not for the harsh situation of things in this country, it would have been worse . |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Paebi(m): 7:19am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Ninobraw:gather money and relocate from that place |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by MummyGreat: 7:23am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Tajbol4splend: Food is good especially when u eat well prepared one Benue Yams sweetness no be here Any way we do the supply 07068444039 |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by kogi2010: 7:23am On Jun 14, 2021 |
seunny4lif:we liv very close even though dey don't sleep over but dey come n stay at times till night that's is not a problem to me, anger with u, is dat u called her father a poor man who depends on pension u know that n went ahead to marry his daughter only for u to come to nairaland to pour out ur frustration, my man remember feeding the less privileged also is a blessing I understand how u feel don't complain keep doing d good work n more blessing will come ur way thanks |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by CoolAmbience(m): 7:23am On Jun 14, 2021 |
okoroemeka: This isn't about poverty. How often do your in-laws come to your house? I don't think you understand. The fact is that OP has to have serious discussions with his wife. Marriage isn't a few years affairs. The woman's family must cutdown on their visits. Perhaps, OP and his wife can agree a monthly budget to support her family otherwise things might get out of control between them. Her family is actually too large, I must say. This is not about asking OP to be more patient or run away. It isn't about poverty or anything else. Nothing pulls anyone down like having too many dependants. The fact remains that none of these people will cease to exist if OP is no longer there. Yes, it is good to support family, but not to the extent of loosing our minds. The siblings of OP's wife should at least be doing something to support. They can't all be minors. Her mum should also be up and doing, being in her mid 40s, except she is incapacitated. I think that her siblings and family are lazy and naturally too dependent. Perhaps, that's how they were raised. I have seen people marry into poorer families, and hardly have their in-laws visiting let alone coming to eat like elephants, every now and then. Lazy and dependent people consume in large amounts and hardly show empathy to the one who is spending to buy these things. Laziness comes with irresponsibility and insensitivity. If you pay bills you will be mindful when creating them for others. So, OP should have a firm discussion with his wife, and they both will have to make a stand on what her family gets monthly as some form of support. His wife has a big role to play in speaking with her family to ensure that the situation isn't misconstrued, otherwise this may negatively impact her marriage. If the wife believes that it is not something her family would understand, she and OP could workout a discreet relocation plan, from where they can execute the monthly support idea for her family, if they want their marriage to survive. |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by nwagugor(f): 7:24am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Poor family problems ooo. When you marry from a poor family, you become their benefactor! |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by nwagugor(f): 7:26am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Yes o, na pikin be that. This person is probably a leech to his or her married sibling too! kalu61: |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by 900warriorz: 7:27am On Jun 14, 2021 |
That is why rich or poor, I can never marry a lady that has more than 2 siblings |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by bowei(m): 7:27am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Be a man, if you’ve complained to your wife about their coming and she did nothing about it, you need to take drastic steps. Many ladies are like that, Avoid all her food let her feed her family members with whatever she as now, don’t contribute a penny. Whenever they come around take your leave, avoid discussing the matter with her unless she brings it up. Then watch and wait you’ll be surprised |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by seanwilliam(m): 7:34am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Slimdan360: Lol. Let’s be realistic bro. Imagine a man with salary of 50k, after paying bills and other stuffs , how much would remain to give other people ? This is simple logic bro. Naija is hard!! |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Nobody: 7:37am On Jun 14, 2021 |
MrMcJay:Very simple technique. No stress. It will work like magic. I almost married a lady but when I discovered this similar thing. I v to wise up. They are 7. Only the eldest sis is married and almost everytime, 2 of the siblings are in that her elder sis house. Now she is d second n if I marry her, automatically it' will shift to me. I just wonder how some of our men give birth to battalion but won't care to train any of them. I hate seeing men like that. Very easy to enter a lady's leg but u can't train any of them. Most atimes I see our fathers ain't just wise. Ah swear. This is the problem we r having in Nigeria now. No birth control evangelism. Even to buy ordinary condom, pple wil b looking at u like u wanna commit a community sin. Tueh 5 Likes |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Nobody: 7:43am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Elock1: Simple. Very simple. Some stupid fellows are shouting is poverty forgetting no matter how wealthy you are, if u keep giving out and it's not coming BK, at a point u will go poor and no one will help ur sorry ass. I married ur daughter shouldn't bring the rest of the family to my house. Their SHUD be a level of privacy in marriage. "I don't care" is for person wey e never do. If e happen for some of them house, they will understand it ain't abt poverty 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by seunny4lif(m): 7:46am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Feeding the less privileged is diff because those ones have no home or anyone else. But giving birth to 9 children you can’t feed and expecting someone to feed that is the reason Nigeria has a nation is backwards. When he married the girl, them no add the family join am abi na the sisters he married? The way you talk shows your in-laws are living comfortable and that’s the reason you think it’s a good to be going to your in-laws house almost day for morning and night food kogi2010: 1 Like |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by seunny4lif(m): 7:47am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Gbam xscoffy: |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by seunny4lif(m): 7:48am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Gbam If you want to stay alive else run oooh 900warriorz: |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Olatunde668(m): 7:48am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Stop coming here and be telling ur rubbish am off to work |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Daddymiracle: 7:49am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Xenry:marrying from poor is not the problem, because if he doesn’t marry the poor girl , who will now marry the poor girls out thr... so and this life no balance is just for us to try and balance it. People are hungry out there and they need financial help. I believe he can just talk to his wife and still do little he can do to assist and God will still continue to bless the Husband for feeding the poor girls. Na wetin our government no plan be this and if to say there is allowance citizens collect every month that can still be sustaining people till they get job and have there own apartment. The prayer is God should just continue to bless the all the married men out there helping the wives one or the other. |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by kogi2010: 7:53am On Jun 14, 2021 |
seunny4lif:oa before u marry dere daughter were u d one feeding them? no so how do u know he can't feed them? One thing u must understand u can't stop them from visiting dere sister except u want to walk out of the marriage. I remember u mentioned ur wife using her own money to buy food too try n b a good man with good heart is just a matter of time ok dey will soon marry n u will be free for now feed them n more blessing awaits u |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Nobody: 7:54am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Ninobraw:Their is a simple solution to this. Relocate! You live too close to her family. Relocate somewhere far, as far as 400 naira for transportation from her family and they won't come again unless absolutely necessary. |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Ephemia: 7:57am On Jun 14, 2021 |
okoroemeka: Too much of everything is bad |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Mistaglorious: 7:59am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Obviously you don't like what's going on in your marriage. Talk to your wife about it and put a stop to it. Be a man and take charge! |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by deebrownneymar: 8:01am On Jun 14, 2021 |
A man that cannot talk to his wife is that one a man? |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by otokx(m): 8:01am On Jun 14, 2021 |
fannybaby: It is very possible. |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Emmy000seun(m): 8:03am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Most of the time is not poverty bro, but if something is too much or rampant, it will be annoying.. I understand the man feelings..is not easy..and you that is cooking everyday, if they visit you often than expected will you have the strength to be doing that (cooking nsala or watin )always okoroemeka: |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by JAYUK(m): 8:04am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Discussing with your wife is ok but might not yield the desired result, move out to another location preferably one close to your place of work or business, commodities are pricey in the market, lavishing stuff now is not advisable. |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by conuel213(m): 8:05am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Xenry: Guy, you are talking gibberish... Everyone knows how they get their money. Probably you were born with silver spoon. It wouldn't have been a burden if the visit is once a while but when they make your new home unbearable by constant visiting, it not productive. Mind you, he needs to grow his family financially and all. Even if he is getting 500k every month in this time with this kind of family, he won't make a headway. My advice to the op, try to use your head. When there is nothing now, they would be the first to rubbish you. Plan your life, call you wife and try to explain with wisdom. Don't make it feel as if she is choosing between you and her family. Don't please. If that doesn't work, then you need to relocate to a far place but consider your place of work. Lastly, don't forget your own family bro. No matter little it is.. try to give your own parents as well. Come up with something uniform you would be giving both families. Save, invest and plan for your immediate planning. It is well |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by FrenchyL(m): 8:09am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Mordson: My brother, i feel your frustrations however what you are doing is a very noble thing as you have become the first son of their family. Have a heart to heart discussion with your wife and make her see things from the overall existence of your own family, that is you , her and your child. While you cannot ban her family members from coming to the house, there can be some level of control but it must be done tactfully and without bitterness. NO FOLLOW YOUR WIFE QUARREL OH!! Just reason with her and may God increase you so that you can gain the capacity to handle more responsibilities because they are coming.. |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by Efughu: 8:11am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Relocate far away from them so that it won't be easy for them to stop by frequently. For instance, if you are staying in Surulere, and they live around that environs, you can relocate to Lakowe, Ibeju Lekki. You'll be able to reduce those visits by 85-90%. Also have a discussion with your wife on the impact of the whole family influx into your home. You should be strategic so that it doesn't cause a civil war. Good luck! Ninobraw: |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by LagbajaTheBEREAN: 8:13am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Xenry:Nothing concern red pill here o.. Na from courtship, baba suppose don shine hin eyes but baba fii jettison the idea thinking say everywhere go soon once hin marry... |
Re: Tired Of My Marriage by saintjimos(m): 8:13am On Jun 14, 2021 |
Relocate to a far distance |
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