Golden147: Good afternoon everyone.. Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR.. There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her. I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid. Here is my reasons
She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too. My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.
I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me. I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this. It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears. I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.
Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.
Matured advice please
Take it easy bro if truly you loved her. It's normal from such a family to ask money from their sister's husband or boyfriend. Those guys might still behaving as a child and once they grow a bit and they earn for themselves it won't happen. Don't just let that worry you since both parents were happy to give you their daughter....
Polynek: Bro marry Her, give Her brothers when they ask, whenever you have, and if u don't have enough, you explain to them, they have common sense they will understand that everyday no b Christmas, my Candid advice, I wish you all d best
Best advice. No cap.
PS. U dey tumble their sister you no want make them tax you. Oga focus!
Golden147: Good afternoon everyone.. Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR.. There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her. I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid. Here is my reasons
She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too. My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.
I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me. I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this. It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears. I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.
Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.
Matured advice please
My brother I think you are been naive ....marriage is not for children ....you are too young to get married especially when you don't 've a job. You must be from a Rich family to 've just graduated and got married . How did you get the money ? Do you plan on living with your parents ? Live na jeje ...graduate , serve the country , get a good job....work for sometime to save money , then plan your marriage .
As per her brother's , I agree with your mum ...they can't force money out of you ....let them know you didn't get to where you are by laziness. The lady is not gonna be a liability since she is in school and will be graduating too...God's willing she gets a good job....both of you can now plan about your life ....what is your dad saying about the lady?
Marry her if she's the will of God for you . If you help her family ,nothing is bad about that because someone will help you too in life . See it as an honour and you'll see how things will favour you .
Golden147: Good afternoon everyone.. Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR.. There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her. I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid. Here is my reasons
She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too. My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.
I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me. I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this. It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears. I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.
Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.
Matured advice please
how are you able to carry her financial expenses on your shoulders?what do you do for a living?
It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it... As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act... Anyways..thank you for your advice.
The way you're responding to people here shows you've already made up your mind to marry her, so why do you still seek advice whether to marry her or not? You counter almost every advice that goes against getting married while you're still in school..
Before I address the issue of your girl's brothers asking for money, try to answer the following questions
1. Do you have a job? 2. If you get married, are you sure you won't have to depend on your parents to raise your family? 3. Do you have a career plan?
I don't have a problem with you getting married, I just have a problem with the timing. You are 24 and you have a bright future ahead of you. You need to build your career and improve yourself first. Also, advise your girl to build her career first.
Tell the brothers to start doing something with their lives. Let them get a job, pursue education and start building themselves because you can't carry the responsibility of 5 more people when you are just starting life.
I can see manipulation on your girl's part. I feel threatening to commit suicide and going into prostitution is a way to make you feel guilty. Don't marry someone out of pity. You come first.
I have only these questions to ask you: 1. Are you employed? 2. Are you the only son? 3. Can you take care of her responsibilities even if she is not working? 4, Have you asked God Almighty to guide you in this journey? 5. Does she truly Love you just the Way you love her? 6. Do you worship in the same church? 7. Can you tolerate her and can she tolerate you? 8. Are you through with your academics? 9. Did both parents approve your been husband and wife? If your answer is YES to the above, then ride on, else you have yourself to blame. Marriage is an institution you cannot graduate from. You need to be matured and prepared before you gain admission into it. Thank you.
Golden147: Good afternoon everyone.. Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR.. There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her. I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid. Here is my reasons
She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too. My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.
I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me. I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this. It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears. I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.
Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.
Matured advice please
Since the girl doesn’t support her brothers and tends to feel ashamed at their begging, then it’s not her fault.
Don’t lose a woman that loves you because of people around.
You test your girl by deciding to be stingy to her brothers to see her reaction.
And lastly, talk to her about this reservations of yours.
Maybe because I didn't add I have got a house (4 bedroom flat) land properties too... what I don't have now as a man is car bro... anyways I won't dig deep about myself... I know myself just want to be sure of my marriage... In my community a young guy at 22 that knows what his doing can get marry and settle perfectly fine... Since you know yourself and feels matured enough,why are you seeking for people's opinions in your marriage? can't you decide for yourself? all these nairalanders rabble rousers self. What delayed me till now is my education.. I hope you understand now?
My advice.... You are a student, maybe graduate now. Work on your English and writing skills. Stop this ignore my error.... Or better still type in pidgin or your mother tongue. ...
Golden147: Good afternoon everyone.. Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR.. There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her. I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid. Here is my reasons
She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too. My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.
I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me. I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this. It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears. I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.
Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.
Matured advice please
Why not? Are you marrying her brothers? Just keep them at a distance after marrying their sister.
what you mentioned above are part of what am saying. you think you are ready but I'll advice you use some time to build yourself and your lover more. work on your strengths and weakness. don't rush into marriage(cause that's how it looks), marriage will not be the end of your troubles except you start working on your troubles (effectively) now
What do you mean rush into marriage? Recently saw a 103 and 100 couple share their story, (they got married at ages 19 and 16 respectively (I know, and that's besides the point)). Point is, it has little or nothing to do with age!!!! So long they are legally of age, and in this case, they are!
They should get married and grow together. He's only asking for advice on how to deal with the future brother in law's unending demands. And you're here capping nonsense. If you don't have an answer to his question, move along!
Rest please!!!!
@ OP it's okay to ask questions when you need clarity in life's issues! Don't let nobody tell you otherwise! You're a man, you're a man, solve your problems by yourself! That's the cause of so many issues we, men, have today.
It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it... As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...now I believe those who said you're too immature.what concerns us with how much you've spent on her brothers?it seems you're just an attention seeker Anyways..thank you for your advice.
Golden147: Good afternoon everyone.. Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR.. There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her. I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid. Here is my reasons
She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too. My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.
I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me. I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this. It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears. I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.
Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.
Matured advice please
By your typing communication..you seem desperate!
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Before I address the issue of your girl's brothers asking for money, try to answer the following questions
1. Do you have a job? 2. If you get married, are you sure you won't have to depend on your parents to raise your family? 3. Do you have a career plan?
I don't have a problem with you getting married, I just have a problem with the timing. You are 24 and you have a bright future ahead of you. You need to build your career and improve yourself first. Also, advise your girl to build her career first.
Tell the brothers to start doing something with their lives. Let them get a job, pursue education and start building themselves because you can't carry the responsibility of 5 more people when you are just starting life.
I can see manipulation on your girl's part. I feel threatening to commit suicide and going into prostitution is a way to make you feel guilty. Don't marry someone out of pity. You come first.
Clearly the guy can take care of himself and his babe... Read his responses on the fp.
I don't also think he's marrying her out of pity.
We (speaking generally now) keep making early marriage look like a bad thing when in fact the real reason most(not all) young dudes delay today is the financial ability to sponsor the wedding rites, and the responsibility of taking care of another person!
If you're young, have the money, and find love. And you understand that there's no perfect/ideal marriage. Know what it takes to be understanding and your spouse is with you on the same page. You have your parent(s) blessings, what stops you bikonu?
sophirebenitez: Since you say you have a steady income and you've been together for say 3+ years, means you have gotten to know her and her family well.
Put a ring on it.
Love your wife, manage her family. 24 is not too young.
It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it... As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act... Anyways..thank you for your advice.
