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Urgent

Trouble sleep yanga go wake am. You better run away from the lion’s den. Love kee you there.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

I only give advice to those who are ready for marriage and not for children. Likely, the op is still a child and hasn't matured to the stage of getting married yet. when you are ready for marriage then there are some things you should put aside and focus more on reality.......children everywhere

I'm afraid this platform might probably not be the ideal place to obtain such life-reaching advice. Do not return here to share tales of had-I-known! I wonder where you put the author of marriage in all this, His name is Jehovah, ever willing He is to offer guidance to those prepared to receive from Him

babadee1:


At 24 you are still very young. I would advise you to wait a bit and watch carefully how things go.

Well at 24 he is not actually very young but Young.. more so , if he has actually gotten properties as he claimed and none was gifted or inherited by him but was worked for , then I don't think the guy is that young to have developed the mindset of saving and investing, and managing such projects ......

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

First of all, for someone who claims to be in his finals, your writing is very poor.

Now to the issue at hand, if you like marry the girl; if you like don't marry her, it won't make any difference because her brothers will always remain a problem for her, and maybe for any unfortunate in law who decides to take on their responsibilities.

Too bad.

Now coming to the issue of her parents, obviously they just to finally ship her off... officially. If you eventually marry her, you will be doing them a whole lot of favour. Think about it. Is that what you will really like to do for them?

And finally, coming to the issue of the people involved, I don't know how serious the love between you two really is. But for your girl to be telling you that she will go into prostitution or commit suicide, that's pure manipulation with a heavy hint of desperation. Why is she desperate and trying to emotionally manipulate into marrying her?

My final verdict:
Clearly, the whole situation is absolutely messed up. You won't enjoy the marriage at all. Unless you are able to disappear with the girl to a place where the wahala from her family will not be coming to your side so easily.

There you have it.

If you are ready brother go ahead and marry the lady, you are marrying her not her brother so stop bothering about her brother please, if you truly love her love her like you said and the both parent has agreed then. Start planning your future with her and forget about shameless brothers.

the question is not can you marry the lady, the question is are you mentally ready for marriage



marriage is not for a full time emotional man as your post portrait

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

That your girl is not ready for marriage mentally. Why is she cursing her brothers for asking you money while she is doing the same thing? Have you checked whether laziness is in their lineage? Why is she depending on you financially? If you want to support her financially open small business for her and let her support the union. Don't Marry any woman that can't support you both financially and otherwise.... Take my advise and save yourself from regrets.

Guys should stay away from lazy women.

This thread...the ones who gave the perfect advice got ignored with little 'likes'

Omode o mo Ogun.. O n pe lefo.
Marriage

So nobody notice say OP juz paint this event,he paint am finish con drop am for nairaland

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.n

Matured advice please

These same brothers, maybe your saving Grace tomorrow. Life turns. Treat them as you will treat your family. Please only do the best you can. Allow your woman to handle her family. If they need help let them discuss it with her then she speaks to you. shield yourself and use wisdom.

Abort mission! I repeat abort mission! Coz I don't want to be sorry for you later!

Golden147:

It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

You are still a kid. Leave that family and work hard, I don access you and you need from 3 years + to be ready if you're the only son.

Pukkaify:
Young man, if u know u are ready mentally, psychologically and spiritually go ahead and marry.Dont listen to people who discourage u from getting married, they thought is until one is 30 years and above that he is matured for marriage.They prefer you to continue to wallow in fornication than marrying.This happened to my good friend, he told the girl to go and find another man, thinking that he is too young to marry.Eventually he married a woman who is demonically possesed, and the woman finished the man up, the man business collapsed, he took to alcoholic and became a first class drunk.Last year, he died miserably.Dont listen to them is good to marry woman at your youthful age.Just seek the face of God and go ahead Thanks.

I find this your story very funny.

How does someone die miserably?

Golden147:

It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

Wait bro at 24 wat are you rushing to marry for

You are just a SIMP to Dem ...oga u never hear many stories like dis ...wey end up in tears

24 years to me should cool down on marriage wait till u are 30

Hustler more there are even more babes out there that are not yet born ...

Again that part that she will go into prostitution oga na de worry me so without you ..she can't hustle on her own in the future

Guy na small pikin una two be...

If you dont marry her the world won't end and for her brothers oga Dem de dupe u de go

Golden147:

It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

find work for dat babe or gve her a biz after some months.. 6month minimum, den u can do d marriage if nothing has changed... Just let her b making money independent of you... If her loyalty remains, marry her.
She's actually a gud girl and cutting off her siblings is no big deal if she support it. U don' try 4 dem as a man

Golden147:


Though I didn't add nobody should advice me to to hustle.... Even as a student, I have a stable income bro...

You have a stable income, I hope it's not Yahoo sha cos that's what most Nigerian students do now and feel arrived not knowing that their journey is still very far.


Yahoo Yahoo no be work.


Don't make a living out of scamming people, it doesn't always end well even though you might have mentors who were scammers living large, believe me, it doesn't always end well for them.

You are a student, you have so many rough years ahead of you, you are not financially and mentally ripe to marry. Relationship is totally different from marriage. Dating and marriage is not the same.

The girls age is a red flag. Your age is a red flag as far as Nigeria is concerned.


The girls older siblings attitude is a big red flag, such people can organize kidnap for ransom in future if you are doing well in future and refuse to spoon feed them daily.


Another thing is, don't marry out of pity. She may think if you leave her she won't survive it, but it's all lies cos we have so many orphans living well in Nigeria with no helper.


You are not ripe for marriage be careful.


If you love her (even though romantic love is a fallacy), just continue with the dating till you are established to absorb any financial eventuality.

Money is the number one ingredient of happy marriage in today world.



Slow down, but don't dump her, just continue with dating for nos

Is your father Obi Cubana ? According to u, u are undergraduate, meaning u not working. U think marriage is childs play ? Sound as if u wanna married her out of pity, and she said yes due to d finacial support.

Yusufisraelj:


You've said nothing sincerely.



@Golden147 the above advise is the best so far here, in this part of the world, people do things late and think it's okay! Most of the people in Nigeria, the major set back is finances else they should have settled down, a friend of ours in US married at 21, then we were about getting into uni, he has a daughter right now that's about 9 years old and a loving family.

However I must add, you are not managing third party interferences well in your relationship. Your obligation is to your lady not her siblings, they have parents for God sake, it's the responsibility of the parents to provide for them, if you support you're doing that as a choice not an obligation and none of her siblings should bully her when you refuse, warn them sternly and put it forward to the parents, that you'll only assist when you have and when you don't nobody should bully your lady or you'll call the police, just saying but you get the point!

More importantly make sure your woman obtains a skill that fetches her good money or she should obtain one. You goal right now is to build yourself and your lady spiritually, relationally (keep genuine people only in your space), mindset (read about marriage and life together), finances (understand how to seriously deal with poverty), Health (understand how to stay healthy) and your Career (learn how to expand your knowledge and become very competent in your skill or business)

This the best advice. There is no young age to marry. 22 is a good age.

But, make sure your wife have started to acquire a skill and make sure she really understand what it take to earn income. With that, you can be assured to build more on what you already have and not spend. She will also have a say on how to curb her brothers.

Try budgeting a specific amount monthly, or occasionally as tips you can give out to the brothers. Don't spend all, be strict at spending.

Make sure she get pregnant for you if possible and give birth to child not long after marriage.

Ensure the brothers don't stay with you at any point. Just you and your wife.

Do you have a dad? If not, then always try get close to an elder maybe a religious not money freak to always counsel you. Ot just a man, or if you have anyone not money freak, that is okay on his own to always be a source of advice occasionally.

Paying her fees is a privileged to the family. Don't spend all your earnings trying to be a big boy that you can cater for all.

You are young, build on what you have.

After paying for her bills like a fool,u think she won't commit suicide for u
Dem don finally knack this one maga
The moment u can no longer pay as her father that u have been functioning as,your eyes go open,even her brothers see u as ATM machine...you pay all her bills and u expect her to say no in this Buhari economy For your mind,you think she is in love with u
Gullible person

Instead of you to ball your money,invest more,travel different countries,live different cultures,meet different woman,you go wake trouble wey dey sleep....

May we not be unfortunate in this life

Golden147:


Smile, yes bro...

Maybe because I didn't add I have got a house (4 bedroom flat) land properties too... what I don't have now as a man is car bro... anyways I won't dig deep about myself... I know myself just want to be sure of my marriage...
In my community a young guy at 22 that knows what his doing can get marry and settle perfectly fine...

What delayed me till now is my education.. I hope you understand now?

you have what it takes to be a man but the problem is her brothers that are so useless like blood that use to come out of women every month and they should be the one to be giving you and their kid sister not other way round,tell her to talk to her brothers to find work to do than waiting for her to come and gv them money and pls I only read some comments I don't read ur message what is the father or the mother is doing about those useless brother of hers ?And so far they know that you own a house they will just come over and start to be living with you

Yoy sure you are in school? I am not sure. Go n face your studies

Liballo:
You are not Emotionality, Psychologically and Financially ready for marriage.
Do you think marriage is a child's play ?
And, to the issue of her siblings always demanding is a Red flag....... You can always choose to ignore it. But don't come here to disturb us about how your Wife's siblings are trying to run you dry. Like a thread a man made sometimes ago complaining about how his Wife's relatives eat like gluttons.

Looking forward to my marriage soon. Could you kindly pray for me in financial aspect... That's a concern to me.

I will advise you study the brothers and understand their motive of asking you for money. If it's evil intent, apply caution and deal with them wisely...

Whatever the intent is will state how to handle the issue. I hope you get my point sir.

Golden147:


It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

Bro.... take this from me... the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The girl is no different from her brothers ... they are all the same... clones of their parents. The writing is already on the wall and you not even married. The parents will give you consent... but the day you marry... you will see their true colors come out. Good luck to marrying into the ehmmm .... Leech family.

Polynek:
Bro marry Her, give Her brothers when they ask, whenever you have, and if u don't have enough, you explain to them, they have common sense they will understand that everyday no b Christmas, my Candid advice, I wish you all d best

the girl is not the issue, rather the brothers,my bro,marry ur woman,you have something good going on.forget the bros.

Golden147:

It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

With all this your lamentations, it clearly shows you are fed up with the whole relationship surrounding her family, and it also shows you have already taken a decision but only seeking for NL validations...

The girl in question is a very good & appreciative girl and will definitely make a good wife material, the only problem I see here is you, you fully aware the brothers ain't working, yet you lend one of them a whopping sum of 250K and expect a jobless fellow to pay you back, please how?? The problem is you because you keep dishing out money like father Christmas instead of teaching atleast one of them how to fish (no mention of failed business initiated by you tho) even though quite alright they ain't your responsibility in any way, but ditching a good girl because of her brothers that can be easily taken care of is hilarious to me and laughable, because you're not even certain of your next relationship nor the kinda wahala the next person is coming with...!!

You this foolish boy again. You complained about this girl in March when you first registered on Nairaland, now you're complaining about her brothers. What advice do you want?

I've read through the comments by people, anyone who tells you to face your life, you always counter them with foolish points that don't make any sense.

If all you're thinking about as a young man still in school I to get married, go ahead. Just don't disturb anyone with your foolishness when life unfolds.

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