Married Men In The House Please Advice Me - Family (8) - Nairaland
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| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by pegix(m): 11:30pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Liballo: At 24 sef...man neva finish school Dix life juz nor balance  |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by EndRape2(f): 11:31pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Go and sleep jor, just say you are tired of her, after you have eaten her finish, once she is married two of you can move far, from her siblings , beside she can be working to take care of her brothers , let her finish and get a job, she will sure take care of her brothers,she is not in support of her brothers so why saying you want to leave her . Abeg go jor. quote author=Liballo post=103835068]You are not Emotionality, Psychologically and Financially ready for marriage. Do you think marriage is a child's play ? And, to the issue of her siblings always demanding is a Red flag....... You can always choose to ignore it. But don't come here to disturb us about how your Wife's siblings are trying to run you dry. Like a thread a man made sometimes ago complaining about how his Wife's relatives eat like gluttons. [/quote] |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Aboks(m): 11:31pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Liballo:
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| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Unrated900(m): 11:31pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Liballo: That particular man has quoted another thread that his wifey has been divorced by him. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by smalldoctor: 11:33pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
A man is successful if he has handled these three things below 1. Women: He is an alpha who can handle women (in and outside the bedroom) without being a pushover or a simp and at the same time, without being controlling and abusive. 2. Money: He has a skill or skills that make him money while he sleeps. 3. Management: He knows how to mange the money he made by investing and spending wisely. Bonus: His mind and health are healthy. Tips: 1. No matter how successful you think you are as a man, if you ignore knowing how to handle a woman like a real man and put all your hopes on "money," a woman will run you down one day and that success or money you think you have will disappear. This skill is EXTREMELY important. 2. Okay, let's assume you can handle women, but if you don't have skills that will make you money while you sleep and when you're awake, you'll labor for the rest of your life. Is that the kind of life you want as a man? No. 3. Now, let's assume you can handle women and can make money, but you don't know how to invest or spend wisely, what will happen to you? You'll lose all. Finally, you've got the three things above handled, but bad health is weighing you down. Will you be at peace? No. Mental health is important too. Peace of mind = success. What brings peace of mind to a man? Handling the things I listed above. If Buhari has brought peace of mind to Nigerians, he is a successful president, else, he is a failure. The best way to weigh success or marriage is with peace of mind, not material things. Am 25. I stand with Masa Musa with this regard |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Unrated900(m): 11:33pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
You are 24 She is 21 It seems your yahoo business is paying for now That’s why you want to rush into marriage knowing fully well That you are still suppose to be in Saint Anthony collecting lectures on Baptism. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Aarenasbaba(m): 11:34pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Everything about marriage is not certain.... To me her brothers should not be any issue to you |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by tahiwopreety(f): 11:36pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Greystone:[s] Greystone:[/s] Greystone: as the adages goes...omo buruku she fe..Ana buruku ni KO se ni(a stubborn wife is easy to marry...than having a bad in law) asked your self...if truly you are ready to take shit with does brother of her...cos truly she can't resist her blood.2nd...are u psychologicaly,spiritually...and financially cabable of the responsibility they will put on your head...pls wise up an think what will basically favour you in that relationship.love at times dies when it sees things that threaten is state of mind.good luck. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Ayemoso17: 11:37pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Guy .. if u r fully ready go ahead.. after all u r marrying her not her brothers. Biko |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Equity15(m): 11:37pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
ford101:lol .you don see her ni? |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by uzzy73(m): 11:38pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
My point is don't rush into marriage, with her or not but if u truly feel u can good luck as for the brothers they should not be a reason the question is how do u see ur self and her in the future marriage takes a lot a gives a lot u will have ur pros and cons I pray the pros supersede the cons good luck |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Philadelphia: 11:38pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
OP na yahoo boy. That’s why the girl’s elder brothers dey bill am and that’s why the girl no wan leave am because of money. Read the story again and you go understand why. 2 Likes |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Adenich01: 11:39pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
I can see that you have already decided to marry her but take this. Be patient in marrying her. Give her more space Reduce ur financial support for her. I can see that you're financially stable, based on my experience, I think that's why she's so much into you together with her family Na money women know. Have a rethink that "if I don't support her financial, will she be into me like this?" Marriage no be joke ohh! Telling you that prostitution will be her work if you leave her is a sign enough for you that she's loyal to you because you have the money. Girls are very dangerous in this generation! Don't rush into marrying her Stay in the relationship Tell her you're pending the marriage till 2-3 years Reduce your financial support for her. Trust me, you will get results if you can take this advise! Finally, take relationship/ marriage advices from your father at most times. 1 Like |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by demoBaba: 11:39pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Alaye, put them in their place simple. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Polynek(m): 11:40pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
LordSkyy:  ya funny oo |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by dagreatman50: 11:40pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by berrystunn(m): 11:40pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Golden147: You no well asking over 90% that can't keep relationship... To advice you for marriage. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by 21sailor: 11:43pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Golden147: Hmmm! This your Moniker !!! |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by bigtt76(f): 11:43pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Oga face front try finish school get work fess t0t0 nor de run  Golden147: |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Ombudsman1: 11:48pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
My man, you seem naive. Test the waters of character very well. You seem to have some bucks but these girls always mask when comfortable. You also seem to have a scarcity or Oneitis mentality making you feel good girls are damn scarce. Such mentality places a man in a bondage and doesn't make him see afar off. The girls family clearly knows what they stand to gain if their daughter marries you hence the mother says no man else will take your place. Such promises are borne on the altar of lack, no good parent says that outside cos their child's happiness presently and in the future matters more than anything. BE WISE, once you enter, no retreat, no sabbatical. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Ndipe(m): 11:48pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
You are carrying someone's load on your head at such a young age when you should be striving to finish school and get settled with a career. You will be subjected to other major expenses when you marry her like providing her brothers with money and such demands will multiply when extended family members know that their future in-law has a stable income. What will happen when there is an emergency down the road in their family and you will be called upon to shoulder the expenses? Please scram before you suffer from overload. You have years ahead of you to meet a less demanding family. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by NgoziLovelyn(f): 11:49pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Follow your mother's advice. You are marrying the girl and not her brothers. Stand our ground if you don't want to give you money. This girl loves you and that's the most important thing. But on a serious note, you are too young for marriage |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by JayB11(m): 11:53pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Bro if you are really very sure that you will manage your family very well, you will keep providing food, and that you will bear the patience from your wife, and also of those burden that matters most in your home, then go for her. This days, people are sentimental and selfish to realise when their own does something wrong, but your lady, based on what you claimed here, seems to be different. Try to understand her mom, i mean some people may want you cos of material benefits, and mothers actually play big roles on such (either for or against). I am not saying it may be so, but there is always a chance for such likelihood. If it is just her brothers, her Dad should assist by talking to them, but that should be when they seem constantly persistent over your resources. One last advice but very important. Pray a lot and carry your Pastor or Priest along, let them pray for you, let them guide and counsel you continuously cos parents may be biased but these men strike at a balance. Finally, too many advices are dangerous, you may end up helpless. I wish you the best. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by fabolousneyo: 11:54pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
If truly you are ready for marriage I'll advise you to go ahead and marry her , Don't be discouraged about her siblings . The most important thing is for you to be sure she truly loves you ,and from what I read in your post she does, and her parents too are in support, that's a green light... There's never a perfect marriage, but as long as you are capable of taking care of her from your little hustle,as time goes on you can establish her by helping her setting up a small business or connect her in getting a job after school, with that she can be sorting her siblings whenever they need help and the pressure won't be on you ..just my opinion but follow your heart |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by grandstar(m): 11:59pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Golden147 It's not the brothers I fear the most. Her parents may be the ones to be feared. She's the only daughter and responsible child. The mum may want to come stay around. The parents may always ask for money. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Franklyspeakin: 11:59pm On Jul 21, 2021 |
Oshey!!! Enemy of progress, aka shaky shaky daddy anthonyuncle: |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by adanny01(m): 12:02am On Jul 22, 2021 |
Golden147: On part if my mind is telling me to tell you to marry her ASAP go avoid stories that touch the heart. The other part is telling me to tell you that marriage is not just about love or financial reasons. I know you dont have another girlfriend, but you should understand that when you render help, you don't expect anything in return. But you kinda do. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by generalwo(m): 12:04am On Jul 22, 2021 |
Golden147:...... First of all, i think I find it disturbing that as a final year student, you can't type in good and simple English...... Secondly, at 24,i don't think marriage should be your priority..... 3rdly I don't know what kind job you do that gives you money to train yourself in school and still manage to train a lady in school....... My question is, what makes u think her family burden won't be on you when you're married to her..? Or u think the family demands will stop when you're married to their daughter? If you really love her..... Develop yourself as a man and develop her too to become independent..... Forget about marriage for now...... If when she stands on her own, both of you still want to be together, then it will be justified..... But for now.... Think about how to graduate with good grades..... And polished English to prepare you for the future....... Do have a blessed evening |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by ryfoz(m): 12:05am On Jul 22, 2021 |
Nl Yusufisraelj:@OP Golden147 Normally I don't comment on relationship advice like this because you would just get junk comments from people who barely use common sense and emphathy too but this guy has said the best advice in this page 1. (I read only pg 1 ooo) But let me add a few points. 1. There is never actually a "ripe" period for marriage, so ignore all those BS saying you are not ready, half (more than half sef of those pple can't endure wat u av said or revealed nd not exposing their dirty laundry shows u av a conscience and u are wise too. 2. U were not that open from d beginning but thanks for d details u added later, so judging from dat u av asked advice rather late dan sooner abt how much "help" u shuld do for the brothers from d beginning of ur relationship with ur babe. All d sch payments and assist should have been done anonymously or at least you only keep it between u, her nd d parent(s) (and I mean only d sensible among d 2 or both). And again it's like you have made the mistake of letting ur wife-to-be knw ur own house (4 bed flat as u kal it) to d extent dat those brodas knw whr to FIND you too. Honesty is good but not dat early in d relationship or with d brodas atol. 3. B4 I go too far into finances, let me quickly say dat u still av done d best thing to ASK FOR ADVICE b4 d marriage so ignore some negative comments b4 me (page 1 alone) . You sounded lyk u needed encouragement packaged with insight into wat u will likely face but not those rubbish I'm reading there. So I will boldly say never be too proud to ask those who (ACTUALLY) knw more dan u on a subject matter or can help direct u to see places where u have not got covered properly (to make progress not to even make d little idea u had nd av used so far look like !tihs (spell it backwards). All you need is gut feeling which u av somehow used to get to dat financial stage u are now, confidence in ur skills and ability to, financial capability (which u av already by helping d lady through sch, u get d gist) so for me it's a PASS. D rest u can handle 4. Finance (or should w say ego in ur language, cos I already assumed u are Igbo of some sort, y? Ur typing nd lingua pattern, ur estimated financial capability at such young age, ur business acumen dat generates enuf cash so much dat u can do bonaza with it (LOL pardon me but I just can't stop laughing about those brother issues, or should we call dem brother-in-law-to-be LOL!). I can even guess you talk more with your Mom (or sister kinda-of-person to you) more dan ur Dad (or perhaps he's no longer in d picture, no offence here at all pls) so that's why you are a soft-hearted individual as u 'appear' to be. Cos most Yorubas are just too arrogant to ask for actual advice dat does not involve dem asking for moni alongside it (but not ALL yoruba sha) In Nigeria as it is today, nothing guarantees a wedding more dan ur financial guage, especially when u now av consent of ur parents nd d oda ones too. So no issue dere for me my broda. Marriage on d other hand starts with major financial obligations in the early years then falls back to value appreciation (just loving each other for the qualities you built b4 d marriage and after it) then later resting on d deeds u av done (how well u trained d children nd mostly how u helped others at d expense of urself wen u av dat capability). So dat must be d focus, how to meet needs (actual priority for the safety and peace of your home), this is where I'll say let your lady be hardworking too, support her but let her strive for a little independence on her own (or at least train her to be so, it's ur best bet when (or if) things go sideways, u never knw d future. Now dealing with her brothers is simple, such pple rarely turn a new leaf unless u let dem knw are kind but not stupid, let your 'help' be like investment, ask why they need d moni, how long they will take to pay back (but we both knw they won't), den let there be timeline for 'helping' dem, if they come too frequent let ur reply be simple NO, you can't help at d moment nd u are sorry for dat buh u wish u could if u really av it (just to be polite but we both knw it's like saying ffo-kcuf (spelt backwards) Now when u start saying no to d brodas, prepare 4 war cos like i said u av brought dem too close to ur only place of safety too early; ur home. If you can afford protection to harrass them once in a while do it. As man who's going into marriage this is where u start letting them know YOU ARE NOT A MONKEY dat keeps giving without restraint, so d morale is "if God himself keeps giving such people EVERY TIME they come without any ACCOUNTABILITY whatsoever, trusts me Heaven might run dry or other people's ration given to their insatiable and lazy ass. (Just saying u know) Let ur business decisions be strategic too, try to have a hidden source of money from ur wife (i assume she will soon be). I know what I'm saying, if possible open anoda bank account for it. Tell her 5 yrs later after marriage, come back nd thank me den. Then if it is possible, find a NEW home for ur marriage, far away from those who can't contribute to u so dat b4 they come it will cost them like N5k for t-fare to avoid unnecessary frequent greetings (those who come to eat, or take 'help cash' or just use ur house as relaxation point (or all of dem combined at times). Remember it's ur HOME not meeting point. Tell ur wife d rule of NO VISIT WITHOUT INVITATION! (always d best, so anyone comes unannounced, so if u later get such visits den u can do as u lyk to dem cos 9ja economy is not dat stable to say d least) 5. Lastly, this is a major part u must not ignore. People are humble when they have nothing to offer or no leverage, you can never say you have known your lady complete until she starts living with u in d marriage and now av leverage (usually babies) so she might get spoilt from ur way of helping her too much since she was in school, cos pple are not that grateful in d long run, I knw from experience (with people) so tolerate some things and also watch out for any sign of danger! The sad part is "it's a for-better-for-worse deal so you just have to suck up on some things she does or find a way to reach a middle place 2geda cos ladies are bossy in nature (forget any kind of cry u are seeing now o) So if you follow all these advice, I'm SURE you will be able to be the MAN of your home any day any time. Marriage is not easy true, but don't take people's word for it JUST LIKE THAT, some of them are hiding things (mistakes they are making and keep making) they don't want even God (if it's possible for them) to know so such people's counsel is not valid according to me. So no all-in-one answer (including this my epistle). JUST FIGURE IT OUT AS YOU GO but keep LEARNING! .... before I go, never ever forget to pray always (not only when you need God's help or guide); Ps 127:1 I don't need your contact o, but I created a group on messenger for this kind of issues, only to my inner circle sha, feel free to join anytime you want. Peace! |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Nobody: 12:06am On Jul 22, 2021 |
Golden147: Your fiancee is too young for the challenges of marriage with a growing inexperienced man like you. People have mentioned here that you are not financially ready for marriage but I think they are wrong. You are financially ready for some form of marriage but you are not financially, psychologically and psychically ready and even physically ready for marriage from this particular family. My advise is that you proceed with the marriage and grow in it but understand that you do not have the finances at the moment for the type of marriage you could have if you wait a little longer. At the moment, I think you should think of expanding your financial footprint and growing towards your 30s before having kids. So spend the next 6 years having sex with your wife and prepare for babies later on. Don't hurry that. Sex and Love are great when the babies have not come, but parenthood redefines them all. You think you are doing great? Haha. Wait until kids come. |
| Re: Married Men In The House Please Advice Me by Yeminace(m): 12:07am On Jul 22, 2021 |
--Stop giving money to that girl brothers and see how your wife will react. -- Don't marry that girl for now, let her get her certificate and skilled handwork. -- You too, go n hustle more. -- You're lucky, money flows to you at that age you are. Get your own house and get like 3 to 4 sources of income.. -- Let your wife started making money on her own b4 you proposed for marriage.. -- I prayed she will still love you or ready to marry after all these simple advice. Thanks. |
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