1. Since you confirm she's a good lady and contented with her CHARACTER and if a bit religious...

2. She has good parents. PRAY go ahead MARRY her.

Her family (brothers') issue can be handled just push her front to confront or IF there is assistance on ground you do,if none exists you lock up.
Godspeed.

Small girls full of heart break.

You are 24 and in your final year you are already ready for marriage because you are financially ok
weldone ehhh..!

But if I may ask wetin make you think say you are ready to get married.
Or because you take care of your girl alround??

You think if you weren't able to be doing all those things for her she was gonna stay with you??common your girl is in her hot period. Many cases of a girl getting married early after a year or two she start feeling caged and want to move around with her age mates whom are still single.
And you will be crying your wife doesn't give you attention anymore.


See never marry out of pity.
Never marry out of favour.
Never marry out of prettiness.
Never marry out of infatuation.

Because you sound just like a kid still under mums care who depends on dad's money to survive remember na your dad money no be your own.

Why not finish your school go out hustle for small for 2-3years then you will get more knowledge on marriage.


Thread with caution bro.

Good girls is hard to find now. Since u know she will give u peace go ahead and marry her.

As for the leeches (brothers) ignore them when time reach relocate and tell them that u don't have enough to take care of them.

Golden147:

What if in the cause of waiting to build another guy came into picture... You know women though not all can be influence plus other peers advise too.... Every guy is afraid of training a woman in school because of their nonsense altitude...can you advise me to take such risk or quit the relationship?

What makes you think another guy can't still snatch her from you now And besides, you claimed she loves you so much, then why u dey get that kain thoughts ?

Good day, I will advise you to go ahead and marry the girl since you love each other and you are financially stable and your parents and her parents agree for you guy to get married, it is the situation of naija that makes people think young people cannot get married early, I live outside naija, a girl of 18years is ready for marriage here, infact if you see girls from age 19 above have already gave birth, it is very rare here to see a girl of 23 years without a child,go ahead with your marriage and for her brothers, you don't need to always answer them each time they ask you for help, if it is convenient for you, then assist them and if it is not convenient for you then you ignore. There is no time someone will ever be ready for marriage if you follow all these things people says.....that you not ready mentally, age wise, financially....pls ignore......these people will not help you in running your home.

Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please[/quote]

Golden147:

It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

with all the money you have been spending please marry her if you don't marry her you have lose enough to let her go

And beside her brothers are not your responsibility you can choose to help them or not nobody will question you

The choice is yours but if I were you I will marry her without looking back

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Don't stay in a relationship out of pity.

Sending Nigerians girls to school is like selling crypto to Buhari

ril19:



This man spoke well just like the other man in the beginning part. Bro the part I highlighted is important. I'm especially worried because it seems some of these brothers of hers aren't very responsible in character and behavior. Another worrying thing though is that your woman doesn't seem to have content. Granted she seem like a good woman but it's totally awful to know that she could entertain those dreadful thoughts in the case of any disappointment (prostitution and suicide). As for you, you are a man. I believe that you can always try to handle matters to the advantage of you and your partner.

Wow, I like your deposition.

adeshna:


But, make sure your wife have started to acquire a skill and make sure she really understand what it take to earn income. With that, you can be assured to build more on what you already have and not spend. She will also have a say on how to curb her brothers.

Try budgeting a specific amount monthly, or occasionally as tips you can give out to the brothers. Don't spend all, be strict at spending.

Make sure she get pregnant for you if possible and give birth to child not long after marriage.

Ensure the brothers don't stay with you at any point. Just you and your wife.

Do you have a dad? If not, then always try get close to an elder maybe a religious not money freak to always counsel you. Ot just a man, or if you have anyone not money freak, that is okay on his own to always be a source of advice occasionally.

Paying her fees is a privileged to the family. Don't spend all your earnings trying to be a big boy that you can cater for all.

You are young, build on what you have.

Brilliantly put.

Bro my candid advise is to marry the girl,she is a good girl just help her by involving her in your side huzzle because you will still meet another one who is as bad as the present one. As of her brothers,give only when you can. Nigeria economy now is not funny, almost 85% of ladies now depend on men both the rich and poor especially when it comes to relationship except after marriage they can bring something because of children. But still play wise cos **Your money is our money but my money is still my money will always come in!!! Never give what you can't afford to loose in a relationship that is my candid advise to every young man out there...
Dm us for different type of Male/Female Fabrics at affordable prices..ZeroEightOneThreeFourThreeFiveOneSixThreeSix

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

You're not to young to marry as long as ur mentally and financial fit.

The brothers are just capitalizing on your weakness. What is the weakness, you can't say NO when you don't have or when their excesses is too much.

If you can't adjust, please break the relationship. It is not now but future.

Imagine you have not marry their sister, what if you marry her then it is your house dey will be staying feeding on your hard earned money.

StPete:



Who gave you the right to determine whose advise is good and whose advise is not? I don't know the first commenter you quoted from anywhere but seeing your comment just infuriated me. What fvcking rubbish! All you posted is pure gabbage and a waste of nairaland space. Nonsense!!!

You're not the custodian of knowledge nor the determinant of what is right or wrong so you have no fvcking right to determine another person's comment. Just post your rubbish and get lost.


As for the OP, thinking of marriage at this time while you're in school is a setback except of course, you're not determined to make good grades, you just want to pass through school. Marriage at this time is a big distraction for someone your age and educational level and carrying a burden bigger than you yet complaining is total folly. Don't start what you can't finish

Mtcheeew! Who good grades help?

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

I we

Most of the people saying you are not matured for marriage got it wrong. You are in a good age for marriage. Even if you wait till you are 54 and her your fiance is 52 before getting married you will still experience marriage issues, and life challenges.

Marriage experience can't be bought nor learnt in abstract. You can only get it when get married.

I am in my mid forties, most of our friends that got married their mid and late thirties are now facing what we that got married in our twenties had been able to overcome.

[quote author=Liballo post=103835068]You are not Emotionality, Psychologically and Financially ready for marriage.
Do you think marriage is a child's play ?
And, to the issue of her siblings always demanding is a Red flag....... You can always choose to ignore it. But don't come here to disturb us about how your Wife's siblings are trying to run you dry. Like a thread a man made sometimes ago complaining about how his Wife's relatives eat like gluttons.
This is not true, just because he mentioned his age and her girlfriend age, marriage is a university both couples will continue to learn till they die and mind you there is no perfect marriage anywhere, look at some people that you can say they are emotionally, sychologically and financially okay after marriage some not up 1year they divorce]

Greystone:


She's obviously a good lady. Never let her go. Good girls are so hard to find.

If I were you, I would marry her.

You can manage her brother's issues easier than replacing her.

What made you conclude that she's a good girl? I think she's just desperate and is with him for his resources. I want to know why you think otherwise

DaddyRochie1642:




It very obvious that you're not ready for marriage, better follow that Wise advice to avoid Weeping and gnashing your teeth in the Future.

When a man is ready for marriage, he will Feel it inside him.

From your story, your girlfriend told you she'll commit suicide if you leave her.
-- Any Individual on this planet Earth that threatens another individual with "Suicide" is a very Dangerous person because such a person has nothing to loose, and the victim of that "Suicide" threat has everything to Loose.

She has already started subtly threatening you with Suicide, Just pray for your Sake that this your relationship doesn't reach that dangerous and dreaded stage of "If I can't have you, nobody will have you".

For her to indirectly threaten you with Suicide, she'll have no problem in taking your Life and taking her Life too if things don't go her way.


It is well with my Soul.... Amen.

Thank you for pointing this out. Don't know why no one else did. Threatening suicide if he leaves is a big red flag!

Klass99:


How you are not able to see anything wrong with the threat of suicide and this entire family you want to marry into, is beyond me I swear . The fact that you are here questioning your intent to marry and seeking advice suggests that you are not 100% certain or convinced you'll be doing the best thing for yourself if you marry her.

Forget all this my mother supports, her parents agreed and support, she is a good girl etcetera. Of course, her parents will agree and support because you are handling a crucial responsibility of theirs by taking care of their daughter for them, even before you've married her. That they've turned down 3 suitors doesn't mean you are the apple of their eye o! It's possible those suitors no hold pepper like you.

There's nothing in your original post to even indicate this girl is a good girl like you and others claim. Have you forgotten that in Naija you marry a whole family and not just an individual? The way I perceive your potential in-laws from the little I've read ehn, if you were my brother or friend, I will tell you to please abandon project and re-route, good girls are available she is not the only one in that category.

A friend of mine (Richard) is married to a last born of a family (Sharon) Sharon's older siblings are in the habit of asking and pressuring her for financial assistance because they believe Richard is well to do. Richard is not stunningly rich but he is doing well for himself, Sharon doesn't work but owns a tailoring shop with unreliable income because her customers can owe for Africa.

Richard gave Sharon the children's school fees to pay one time and rather than pay it, she surrendered to the pressure from one of her siblings and gave out the money without informing Richard until the school started calling for their money. Richard's in-laws and your potential in-laws are not any different if you ask me because you are both plagued with insensitive and parasitic in-laws who see you as their meal ticket.

Good girls and good in-laws are not extinct or hard to find, like people claim. There are too many people on the face of this earth (and in Naija alone) to limit yourself to that sort of thinking. Thoughts become things, if you think there are no good girls that will be your reality sooner or later. If you think there are good girls, that will be your reality as well.

The two of you are even young, those your in-laws go use una head die, while playing the seniority card and disrespecting both of you in the process. At least Richard na old and experienced guy, his in-laws arrange themselves well with just one look and a few words from him.

Bitter truth from a lady.

Golden147:


Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Give her some conditions as far as her parasitic brothers are concerned, simple. You know what I'm talking about right?

Gloriagee:
She's obviously a good girl whose only fall back option is prostitution. I hear you, I really do.

Good girl gone bad.

LMAO!

Greystone:


She's obviously a good lady. Never let her go. Good girls are so hard to find.

If I were you, I would marry her.

You can manage her brother's issues easier than replacing her.

God bless your wisdom brotherly 100%

ryfoz:
Nl


@OP Golden147
Normally I don't comment on relationship advice like this because you would just get junk comments from people who barely use common sense and emphathy too but this guy has said the best advice in this page 1. (I read only pg 1 ooo)

But let me add a few points.

1. There is never actually a "ripe" period for marriage, so ignore all those BS saying you are not ready, half (more than half sef of those pple can't endure wat u av said or revealed nd not exposing their dirty laundry shows u av a conscience and u are wise too.

2. U were not that open from d beginning but thanks for d details u added later, so judging from dat u av asked advice rather late dan sooner abt how much "help" u shuld do for the brothers from d beginning of ur relationship with ur babe. All d sch payments and assist should have been done anonymously or at least you only keep it between u, her nd d parent(s) (and I mean only d sensible among d 2 or both). And again it's like you have made the mistake of letting ur wife-to-be knw ur own house (4 bed flat as u kal it) to d extent dat those brodas knw whr to FIND you too. Honesty is good but not dat early in d relationship or with d brodas atol.

3. B4 I go too far into finances, let me quickly say dat u still av done d best thing to ASK FOR ADVICE b4 d marriage so ignore some negative comments b4 me (page 1 alone) . You sounded lyk u needed encouragement packaged with insight into wat u will likely face but not those rubbish I'm reading there. So I will boldly say never be too proud to ask those who (ACTUALLY) knw more dan u on a subject matter or can help direct u to see places where u have not got covered properly (to make progress not to even make d little idea u had nd av used so far look like !tihs (spell it backwards).
All you need is gut feeling which u av somehow used to get to dat financial stage u are now, confidence in ur skills and ability to, financial capability (which u av already by helping d lady through sch, u get d gist) so for me it's a PASS. D rest u can handle

4. Finance (or should w say ego in ur language, cos I already assumed u are Igbo of some sort, y? Ur typing nd lingua pattern, ur estimated financial capability at such young age, ur business acumen dat generates enuf cash so much dat u can do bonaza with it (LOL pardon me but I just can't stop laughing about those brother issues, or should we call dem brother-in-law-to-be LOL!). I can even guess you talk more with your Mom (or sister kinda-of-person to you) more dan ur Dad (or perhaps he's no longer in d picture, no offence here at all pls) so that's why you are a soft-hearted individual as u 'appear' to be. Cos most Yorubas are just too arrogant to ask for actual advice dat does not involve dem asking for moni alongside it (but not ALL yoruba sha)

In Nigeria as it is today, nothing guarantees a wedding more dan ur financial guage, especially when u now av consent of ur parents nd d oda ones too. So no issue dere for me my broda.
Marriage on d other hand starts with major financial obligations in the early years then falls back to value appreciation (just loving each other for the qualities you built b4 d marriage and after it) then later resting on d deeds u av done (how well u trained d children nd mostly how u helped others at d expense of urself wen u av dat capability). So dat must be d focus, how to meet needs (actual priority for the safety and peace of your home), this is where I'll say let your lady be hardworking too, support her but let her strive for a little independence on her own (or at least train her to be so, it's ur best bet when (or if) things go sideways, u never knw d future.

Now dealing with her brothers is simple, such pple rarely turn a new leaf unless u let dem knw are kind but not stupid, let your 'help' be like investment, ask why they need d moni, how long they will take to pay back (but we both knw they won't), den let there be timeline for 'helping' dem, if they come too frequent let ur reply be simple NO, you can't help at d moment nd u are sorry for dat buh u wish u could if u really av it (just to be polite but we both knw it's like saying ffo-kcuf (spelt backwards)

Now when u start saying no to d brodas, prepare 4 war cos like i said u av brought dem too close to ur only place of safety too early; ur home. If you can afford protection to harrass them once in a while do it. As man who's going into marriage this is where u start letting them know YOU ARE NOT A MONKEY dat keeps giving without restraint, so d morale is "if God himself keeps giving such people EVERY TIME they come without any ACCOUNTABILITY whatsoever, trusts me Heaven might run dry or other people's ration given to their insatiable and lazy ass. (Just saying u know)

Let ur business decisions be strategic too, try to have a hidden source of money from ur wife (i assume she will soon be). I know what I'm saying, if possible open anoda bank account for it. Tell her 5 yrs later after marriage, come back nd thank me den.

Then if it is possible, find a NEW home for ur marriage, far away from those who can't contribute to u so dat b4 they come it will cost them like N5k for t-fare to avoid unnecessary frequent greetings (those who come to eat, or take 'help cash' or just use ur house as relaxation point (or all of dem combined at times). Remember it's ur HOME not meeting point. Tell ur wife d rule of NO VISIT WITHOUT INVITATION! (always d best, so anyone comes unannounced, so if u later get such visits den u can do as u lyk to dem cos 9ja economy is not dat stable to say d least)

5. Lastly, this is a major part u must not ignore. People are humble when they have nothing to offer or no leverage, you can never say you have known your lady complete until she starts living with u in d marriage and now av leverage (usually babies) so she might get spoilt from ur way of helping her too much since she was in school, cos pple are not that grateful in d long run, I knw from experience (with people) so tolerate some things and also watch out for any sign of danger! The sad part is "it's a for-better-for-worse deal so you just have to suck up on some things she does or find a way to reach a middle place 2geda cos ladies are bossy in nature (forget any kind of cry u are seeing now o)

So if you follow all these advice, I'm SURE you will be able to be the MAN of your home any day any time.
Marriage is not easy true, but don't take people's word for it JUST LIKE THAT, some of them are hiding things (mistakes they are making and keep making) they don't want even God (if it's possible for them) to know so such people's counsel is not valid according to me. So no all-in-one answer (including this my epistle). JUST FIGURE IT OUT AS YOU GO but keep LEARNING!

.... before I go, never ever forget to pray always (not only when you need God's help or guide); Ps 127:1

I don't need your contact o, but I created a group on messenger for this kind of issues, only to my inner circle sha, feel free to join anytime you want.

Peace!

Wow, so much wisdom in your write up. How may I join that group if you so please?

You are already Wise, Wisdom is not equivalent to age. I wish I had someone to tell what I'm telling you now when I was your age. Again some that never expected today to be their last died today! Let those of us still alive and breathing YAHWEH's Air, Accept JESUS, amend our ways to prepare for the day we shall meet and give account to our CREATOR.
Don't make the Lifetime mistake I made, and if you impregnated her while still seeking Advice from most of those that are far lower than you in IQ, don't ever abort it.

Forget lies of Societal stigmatization from mere mortal humans that shall soon also all individually stand before our CREATOR, live your life now with the wife of thy Youth! Beside, there is no distant future anymore, for JESUS is coming and Rapture shall very Soon. Satan has deceived this Worlds enough and used humans to destroy fellow humans for too long. Too much blood everywhere now!

The only Correction you need to do is to find a Pastor to represent God to Join you both and bless your Marriage now, so that Satan would no more be able to accuse you both. You both are gonna pull through with Joy and build a Glorious Life together. It is written: "In the Beginning, it was not so!" It is Satan that Created the Current World System that say you must spend your most sexually active Age chasing Certificate and useless wealth, so that he can use humans to destroy humans using that most sexually active Era and Energy as his greatest Weapon for turning Humanity upside down. Era and energy that our MAKER originally Created to most sweetly and memorablly bond young Husband and Wife for the Rest of the Journey of Life. God that Created us to have those Homones mature and raging expects us to marry by around 20 Years old. HE doesn't make mistake, HE is not wicked, HE did not Create the Biology Clock in our body as it is to punish us. I still shed hot tears today for destroying my twins in my bestie which also affected her ability to conceive till date. That is your wife, you shall never find joy with another if you murder your own baby and your Opportunity to forver be happy. My Guy that kept his, his treasured boy is now 16 years old and about to enter University, but here am I still searching for my own destined wife when God already gave me but I stupidly lust. I still wonder how my twins boys would have looked by now too! All the useless dreams and worldly fantasy I sacrificed them to chased still remain dreams till date! No other can ever please or understand me like my Queen that calls me King from day 1, Omowunmi mi.

There are wayward girls everywhere ready to be sexmates, slayers and Soul destroyer, but finding that one that your Soul is meant to Trust... I'm not ashamed to let the younger generation learn the Truth about Life, from my greatest mistake. YAHWEH Please have Mercy on my Soul and give me another chance!

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

oyinda1599:
I was reading your comment with a beautiful smile on my face

Lols, may that be your experience everyday as you live. Cheers

Yusufisraelj:


Lols, may that be your experience everyday as you live. Cheers

Can I ask you something?

Funkybabee:
Men like you who always run away from a woman because of her family nature always end up with ogbanje


I have one experienced that I can not forget, a friend if my boss showed a girl that came to greet him during the course of him looking for a wife. When that lady went to her state back, she said it plain plain to my eyes that she cannot marry her because that girl is an orphan and at the same time a first born, she has a lots of loads on her that he cannot bear the cross.

omo that brother married another lady who's the last born but let me tell you na every day na war, when me and my mum saw him last, my mum said Funke what's happening to your brother I said me I don't know because I don't speak to him since these days.

He jump from frying pan to fire

You would know a broke girl when you see one. They would advise guys to marry a broke girl but can't marry a man that is broke. Because your friend was unlucky doesn't mean every man always end up with an ogbanje.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

First of all, you're very stubborn. I've seen your comments. It's not easy to get through to you, but I'll try.

If she's really a good girl, marry her but not now. Now is not the right time for her to get married. Wait until she builds herself up financially, psychologically and emotionally.

You only know who a person really is when they don't need you. Now that she needs you, she will do everything to please you. When she becomes financially comfortable, you'll see her true colours.

The fact that she's threatening suicide if you don't marry her and threatening to get into prostitution is a very bad sign. It says a lot about her character. Which good girl would say something like that? A good girl would try her very best to build a life for herself while keeping her dignity in tact.

You yourself are not emotionally matured yet. She emotionally blackmailed you, but you're dismissing it. If she can blackmail you now, imagine what she can do after marriage when she has more security while you have much more to lose?

Also remember that when you marry a woman, you're marrying her family. Her brothers, yes they ask money from you, but what's their work ethic? Are they hard working? Are they intelligent? Do they seem to have a bright future ahead?

Her brothers will be your children's uncles. You want your children to have good influence

When we're young, we like to think that we're grown enough to make wise decisions. Your financial status has contributed to your bloated ego. If you marry her now, years down the line, you'll see why some people warned you.

Also remember that in this forum, the majority are poor and uneducated. Only take advice from people who present themselves as wise. Ignore the rest if you don't want to end up like them.

madamthemadam:

please shut your mouth if you have nothing reasonable to say...

you are a big fool.

Golden147:

Thank you, although I didn't see the sucide as anything....our relationship is has gone beyond...as a matter of fact she and her family has turned down 3 men because of me...the mother said I can't see her through her school finish nd another guy will marry her nd she won't allow such....I think that's why she talk about sucide when I discussed with her....thank you so much.

Lamba

oyinda1599:
Can I ask you something?

Yes pls

younglleo:

An elder have spoken
Well spoken!
Op stick to this abeg

why asking us fir advice when you have already concluded? you only went to hear what will favor you to marry her not the opposite side.