Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

She is a good girl in the present. I cannot say if she will remain the same in the future.
Secondly, I did not see the part where you consulted your father unless he is late.
I did not see where you seek the counsel of your siblings unless you are the only child.
By and large. You are student picking up the responsibilities of another student. Definitely you are a diamond that cannot be thrown away. Have u tried playing broke?? Not being able to pay up her fees again?? Not even pocket money etc. Try it first, then advice yourself. Tankio

Golden147:

I'm afraid too another guy may come into picture nd I will cry a regret... We have been together for Time nd I know what I want in a lady..she has all....I love her nd afraid another guy may see the qualities nd you know Ladies.... though not all shaaaa...but I'm afraid.

Smfh

dozai:

She is a good girl in the present. I cannot say if she will remain the same in the future.
Secondly, I did not see the part where you consulted your father unless he is late.
I did not see where you seek the counsel of your siblings unless you are the only child.
By and large. You are student picking up the responsibilities of another student. Definitely you are a diamond that cannot be thrown away. Have u tried playing broke?? Not being able to pay up her fees again?? Not even pocket money etc. Try it first, then advice yourself. Tankio

The guy no dey think

Some of you were talking of him not being mature. Marriage is a thing of d heart and not age. I no a couple who got married at d age of 19 and are doing well 2day. My advice 4 u is dat u should go ahead with d marriage plans if u no u can handle d expenses involve, like ur mum said, u are marrying d girl and not her brothers. Secondly, say no 2 d request of her brothers more than the yes then pray and leave d rest in God's hands. Go and Have a fruitful marriage

Yusufisraelj:


Yes pls

I don't want to ask here.. Can I drop my number

I don't understand u poster. Do you want to marry someone you love or you want someone whose family you can turn to for financial support? What kind of financial support do you want to get from your wife's siblings? Marry your wife and face your front both of you, looking onto God alone to help you survive Nigeria. Your mother has already given you solid advice but if you won't listen to your mom, is it nairalanders that u will listen to? Her siblings owe you nothing just as you owe them nothing. They are men like you. Draw the line and stick to your side. Let everyone bear their fathers name.

CapitalBank:
with what I know now, I no give shi shi, except they are willing to learn a skill

No b like dat oo be calming abeg, they are ur in-laws no matter what

Golden147:

It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

Unrelated bro
But Nah where you dey see money?
In this Buhari ask regime.

Talking about the matter, the girl is a good girl I can relate but at the end you’ll get tired of it,
Imagine as a boyfriend, all the brothers keep asking and demanding.

Imagine marrying their sister legally, man! They are gonna keep calling and asking,asking and asking.
You’ll get frustrated swears, the brothers aren’t gonna let you go!

Also you have your family burdens, friends and your wife to be.
No one prays to get broke, what if you get broke and you need assistance.
Her family can’t help you then you are doomed! I’m sorry to say.
No matter the money you have bro, money isn’t always enough. You’ll always need help.

Bro think about it. It’s a really confusing thing, marriage nah for life no be say you go wake tomorrow and say you no do again.

It is better to loose the little investment you made on her than to regret for life. I’m sorry it’s hard to say but true.

Regret isn’t something good. Think wise bro
Bro be wise don’t think about the present but the future.
What does the future holds when I marry her with 5 heavily demanding brothers.

May God Airpus!

oyinda1599:
I don't want to ask here.. Can I drop my number

Okay, but pls take it down immediately, though I'll let you know, when I've copied it.


Else you'll get unsolicited responses. Guys day catch cruise here no be small

Am always happy when I see young intending couples like this getting married as far as u both are ready nobody is forcing u to marry n as for the siblings forget them see guy marry ur girl empower ur wife then make ona two they help ona self

Golden147:

It's a lie bro....if I add how much I have spent on the brothers you will pity me...the second son as I talk to you is oweing me 250k nd has refused to pay me...keep giving me excuses....she knows about it...
As a man, you can't endure all this, I have seek advice from different individual.. everyone conderms such act.... By the brothers..... anyways you won't know... match I spent 45k to make sure the last BRO was realized after involving in rubbish act...
Anyways..thank you for your advice.

Which work u dey do

donforeign:

Which work u dey do

Me self deh think am where him dey see money

Yusufisraelj:


Okay, but pls take it down immediately, though I'll let you know, when I've copied it.


Else you'll get unsolicited responses. Guys day catch cruise here no be small

Sent you an email

oyinda1599:
Sent you an email

Have responded

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

. Congratulations on finding a good wife ! There are issues in Marriage and you are experiencing one of them .After your marriage do not let your fiancees' sibling dry you completely. Control their excesses and tell them to look for work and be men in life like you. Continue with your wedding plan. God and all of us are behind you

My dear l don't see any thing wrong with you marrying her because she seems to be a good girl. On they side of her siblings,both of u can choose to assist them if u want and have. The only people u people own obligation is her parents. The able brothers can find their feet.

You are in school and you are thinking of marriage. Some of these kids think marriage is about legitimate sex!

Golden147:

Thank you, although I didn't see the sucide as anything....our relationship is has gone beyond...as a matter of fact she and her family has turned down 3 men because of me...the mother said I can't see her through her school finish nd another guy will marry her nd she won't allow such....I think that's why she talk about sucide when I discussed with her....thank you so much.

to be frank with you, you are being played. Now I would love to do an experiment. Tell her that your business has collapsed and you are broke. Do it for one month. Also tell her parents as well. If she stays marry her at all cost. If she start complaining then run. Her brothers aside. Just do the test for your own good and update the House.

Golden147:
I'm planning to introduce her to my line of business, after her study. She has accepted already. ..as a matter of fact she almost perfect in it.
Thanks.

run a test of love first or else you would regret.

Golden147:


Smile, yes bro...

Maybe because I didn't add I have got a house (4 bedroom flat) land properties too... what I don't have now as a man is car bro... anyways I won't dig deep about myself... I know myself just want to be sure of my marriage...
In my community a young guy at 22 that knows what his doing can get marry and settle perfectly fine...

What delayed me till now is my education.. I hope you understand now?

Then what are you complaining about and creating thread for?

One minute you sound broke and pitiful,the next you're bragging.

Golden147:

I'm afraid too another guy may come into picture nd I will cry a regret... We have been together for Time nd I know what I want in a lady..she has all....I love her nd afraid another guy may see the qualities nd you know Ladies.... though not all shaaaa...but I'm afraid.

you can marry her no problem but you have to test her love. Whether she loves you or she loves your money. Whether she is using you to finish school, start a business and then another man takes her away? The suitors that the parents rejected might not be as rich as you that's why they rejected them. You love the girl but does she really love you?

Torylanez:
- My brother you need to hustle more
- Move forward and achieve something
- Obviously you both aren't ripe for Marriage una just de do gra gra
- You both are marrying for the wrong reasons
- Anytime a man marries you marry all the good and bad of your wife family and she does the same with your family

Marriage is not about age neither is it about size
Marriage is more of a spiritual, mental and psychological move

You are not ready my bro

Take this as a golden advice from a married man

Everytime, Hustle o! Which hustle again will he hustle more than the one he's hustling right now? Abi until he starts selling pure water on the express, that's what you understand as hustle?

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

My dear, am glad at this age u are making this decision, you are a mature person with the age notwithstanding. don't look at anyone telling u how u are not ready, go ahead and marry the girl, she is a good girl, am happy ur parents are in support especially your mum,for her to support, she has seen the girl from the eyes of a woman and a mother.

As for her brothers, make it clear to your wife, that they are guys like you meaning you are not responsible for them only her parents, this is to bridge her from coming tomorrow with the pressure of you helping her brothers financially, but if u have any means that they can make it in life, do relate to them, like ideas of what to do to earn money.

I sincerely wish you the best, I wished I had opportunity like you to marry at this age, it pays. But mind you, what you are entering is marriage not dating, so i will advice both of you to equip yourselves with knowlege about marriage through reading, because when the purpose of a thing is not known abuse is inevitable. Also seek God for strength and wisdom, because marrige needs God and wisdom.

i wish you guys the best. [color=#990000][/color]

You are very foolish and unintelligent guy(no malice intended bro). Firstly, you are still in school, marriage shouldn't be in your short-term plans atleast for now. Graduate with good grades, acquire in-demand IT skills and develop yourself all round, aiming for these will be more profitable and benefitial for you at this stage of your life. Do you realise how finacially a burden marriage could be especially if became unemployed. 200k is the least that could sustain a single adult in current Nigeria, do you earn double that? Are you deluded? Secondly, who obliged you to sponsor her education? On top say you wan drill toto abi? Are you out of your f**king mind? If you are that generous you would have helped the orphanage. Thirdly, you are extremely naive if you kowtow to her blackmail of commiting suicide if you dont marry her, its a trap and you will regret for the rest of your life if you go ahead with that marriage. And why are her siblings a problem to you. Dude you are too stupid and naive,please GTFOH!

Getat away you there!!

All I see is cruise.. you’re using everyone to catch cruise abi! I see!

Some of us on Nairaland weren’t fools.

How can you meet a lady immediately in 100L and you started carting for her bills cos you two are darting?haha” I don’t believe you. We all went to school” You won’t fool me easily guy man or guy woman.

You have steady income”I won’t argue with you cos is possible and depends. This days our dear yahoo boys de claim steady income too I meant no harm, just saying, But can we know ur steady income ?

You’re still in school and your mother supports you to marry while in school at the age of 24? I don’t believe you!

All I see is cruise!

I don’t believe one shit you type there!
I stop reading at the place you started dating her in 100L and you started paying her bills!!

Golden147:


Though I didn't add nobody should advice me to to hustle.... Even as a student, I have a stable income bro...

f**king a**hole how much is your monthly net income? You think marriage is a childs play? Can you be able to give your kids a memorable childhood and give them the best education the world has to offer? You think the peanut you currently earn could afford that? Sorry if i sound harsh, but you my friend is naive, dumb and unitelligent.

Boy, be wise....Marry her and stay far from the nitwits of brothers that she has. Block all contacts with them, wise-up in managing wasted human beings or you'll be wasted alongside with them!

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Her brothers responsibilities aren't yours to handle... why you feel this way is because you did not establish your boundaries at the beginning. Your giving to them should be out of your own desire and free will not because they are your burden. it is a good thing your woman is aware of this challenge and is not in support of their behavior, you cant throw away something that in your heart you know is good for you because of some few elements. go ahead with your plans, the only way you can stop them pestering you after marriage is to relocate to a far distance, where coming will be planned not just up and the person is there.

Am a bit worried about you writing that you don't mind leaving her and everything you have done for her, i also humbly suggest you evaluate your feelings for this girl and be sure that she's what you want and in the next 5 years to come you can boldly say... you made the right choice.

Again don't get married without seeking out what God says about your plans....your mind needs to be settled on this and if this issue is giving you lots of thoughts... please pause for a while and listen....when your heart is troubled its a sign from the universe to WAIT.

Liballo:
You are not Emotionality, Psychologically and Financially ready for marriage.
Do you think marriage is a child's play ?
And, to the issue of her siblings always demanding is a Red flag....... You can always choose to ignore it. But don't come here to disturb us about how your Wife's siblings are trying to run you dry. Like a thread a man made sometimes ago complaining about how his Wife's relatives eat like gluttons.

You are never compassionate when a man tells his story but you always want men to listern and pay attention to your busshitt.


It's the over line burden you place on men that makes them avoid marriage this days. And guess who is suffering?. Not men that I can tell you. Men have better threshold for pain and better adaptive reflex. So if the push comes to shove men are better off without your burdens. Na una know who una go rest on. We Don de dust slippers small small. De there de rake.

Limassol:
You are very foolish and unintelligent guy(no malice intended bro). Firstly, you are still in school, marriage shouldn't be in your short-term plans atleast for now. Graduate with good grades, acquire in-demand IT skills and develop yourself all round, aiming for these will be more profitable and benefitial for you at this stage of your life. Do you realise how finacially a burden marriage could be especially if became unemployed. 200k is the least that could sustain a single adult in current Nigeria, do you earn double that? Are you deluded? Secondly, who obliged you to sponsor her education? On top say you wan drill toto abi? Are you out of your f**king mind? If you are that generous you would have helped the orphanage. Thirdly, you are extremely naive if you kowtow to her blackmail of commiting suicide if you dont marry her, its a trap and you will regret for the rest of your life if you go ahead with that marriage. And why are her siblings a problem to you. Dude you are too stupid and naive,please GTFOH!

You are the one stupid, because you have no sense of reasoning, that your father or brothers married late does not mean that everyone will marry like that, your mentality is what will keep people like you till 50 yrs before marrying.

Did he borrow money from you, or is it your life? Your type is can never be a source of encouragement to anyone.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Go nd marry sharp no waste time, what your mother said was right, you only married a good girl not her siblings, my advice is helping ur wife relatives is also part of love do what you can and leave what you cant dont stress yourself period.

oyinda1599:
Mtcheeew! Who good grades help?

Lol...good grades is essential no matter how you look at it. Tell me if your child isn't doing well at school, whether you no go feel like you're paying school fees for nothing