₦airaland Forum

Granted she never loved you from beginning but your money

But regardless she should at least be grateful �. Few men can treat her this way. If she is a good person she should have been grateful for all you have done and the least she would do is treat you fairly

But this ingrate has taken your hard earned sweat and has to show you that you mean nothing to her

People don't usually realise what they have until they lose it

My advise
Give her a taste of her own medicine. Separate from her for a while. Do not spend a dime on her during the separation. Make it a minimum of 1yr
If she battles you for upkeep of the child, battle her with all the wealth you have until she is choked and realises she cannot win ugly with you. Trust me she would use the daughter as a means to keep getting financial fulfilment from you while frolicking with the men she loves during the separation period. You must return venom for venom
That is when she would revert to being humble again and that is when the real negotiation begins

Lessons123:
I have a wife and blessed with a daughter, I earn extremely high and I am in a debt of over 2m monthly as a result of paying for a loan monthly to set up a business for my wife which has gulped over 30m and still a failure though this is the second failure of business opened.

I decided to open the business as we both agreed she should resign as her salary as a teacher was the same salary with one of our two maids.

The issue is despite doing very well financially, my wife always gives me issues and there doesn't seem to be any love apart from me being her daily ATM.

There was actually a phase when I had challenges financially and she was the only person to mock me.

I need your advice as the quarrels are becoming too constant and the severe quarrels are majorly related to my brother in laws and sister in laws. Mind you my brother in law has been living with us and disrespects me and she defends him. Also before the marriage she was a very humble and tolerating lady until the business was opened. Sometimes I feel guilty as my dad had to sell his house in lekki and is in the process of buying a house in Ajah because he needed only 10m to complete his house in the village, which I could have easily provided if it wasn't for my indebtedness through my wife.

Mature advise please.

I

Very fake/dead story.

A man who "spent over 30m" on his wife is complaining & seeking advice on nairaland...

Lessons123 your mumu no too much?

mariahAngel:
Are you afraid of your wife and her family?
What about your own siblings?

It seems your wife’s family have hijacked your home.
Tell your brother-in-law it is time to leave your house since he already has a job.

Modified: FAKE STORY!!!
Lessons123 left the thread...

greenie77:
Another tales by moonlight!

Created an account today to tell the story of how he set up a business for his wife which has gulped over 30 million naira and has failed.

I believe his story, though. What I don't believe, however, is his deliberately trying to embellish the story by exaggerating amount of figures involved. Anyone clever enough could have seen through that.

Lessons123:
..

You are moving too fast, slow down bro and think
1. Focus on paying off your debt
2. Build a comfortable savings
As for your wife,
You need to go back to the foundation because it seems all along your marriage had been built on nothing but your finances.

But step by step Bro!
1. Spoil her silly with your availability to her
2. Spoil her silly with the little things like words of appreciation, snacks, dinners outings, vacation BUT not money
3. After six months of daily doing the above, arrange a special 4-5 days of vacation between the two of you in a resort and initiate a special DISCUSSION based on the themes below

1. Do you have the same mindset of the purpose of you marrying each other?
2. What attracted you both to each other in the first place?
3. What is tearing you apart now in your marriage?
4. What are you willing to overlook about the weaknesses of your wife?
5. What are the things you are not willing to overlook about her behaviours?


Do both of you have any spiritual values? Pray and bind every spiritual influence.

Note:
1. If your wife cannot manage a business, set her up with a good school around you while you discreetly pay her salary through the Principal until she is ready again.
2. The condition of reopening a business for her should be that the does apprenticeship for ONE solid successful year with someone who is in her line of business.

Shalom

Too many unmarried people giving you advise. Watch out please.

Money cannot buy Love and Honour.
Your Time and Availability
Your Positive Words
Your Care

These are the things that do the magic.

Lessons123:
I have a wife and blessed with a daughter, I earn extremely high and I am in a debt of over 2m monthly as a result of paying for a loan monthly to set up a business for my wife which has gulped over 30m and still a failure though this is the second failure of business opened.

I decided to open the business as we both agreed she should resign as her salary as a teacher was the same salary with one of our two maids.

The issue is despite doing very well financially, my wife always gives me issues and there doesn't seem to be any love apart from me being her daily ATM.

There was actually a phase when I had challenges financially and she was the only person to mock me.

I need your advice as the quarrels are becoming too constant and the severe quarrels are majorly related to my brother in laws and sister in laws. Mind you my brother in law has been living with us and disrespects me and she defends him. Also before the marriage she was a very humble and tolerating lady until the business was opened. Sometimes I feel guilty as my dad had to sell his house in lekki and is in the process of buying a house in Ajah because he needed only 10m to complete his house in the village, which I could have easily provided if it wasn't for my indebtedness through my wife.

Mature advise please.

You are not matured enough to marry Nigerian ladies of this generation. So divorce her now, then come for lessons.
Don't inconvenience yourself to make any Nigerian lady happy! That is the first lesson. And you shouldn't have spent that kind of money opening a business for the wife. How can a teacher turn to an entrepreneur overnight? It takes a mindset and she doesn't have it.

If I were you I would have left her to continue teaching, then use the money and open a business for myself. A business that doesn't require too much supervision, like car business. If you had done that, you wouldn't be where you are now. One of my blood brothers have the same problem now. He used 3 million to open business for the wife. Today, they are divorced! He lives in constant regret.

Do you know the kind of blessings your dear father would have poured on your head if you had given him just 5 million out of the 10 million he needed to finish his house in the village. Some of you prodigal hegoats of this generation are just like Saga of the Big brother House. You are a disgrace! Honestly, your Dad should be ashamed of you!

teeste:
Let her go back to her teaching job. The more you invested in a woman, the more the regrets. That money could have been used for a life insurance for your children. Women don't deserve this treatment you guys are giving them. That gender wasn't created to give, so putting so much in their custody is a wrong move!

De man is a fool. U don't invest in a lady, especially your wife. (that's my opinion), u will definitely regret it.

Kobojunkie:
1. Stop feeling guilty over your Dad's issue.... the moment you left home to live with your own family, your father's plans became your father's plans and not yours. You now have bigger fish to fry of your own.... your family. It is brutal but the truth.

2. You say your brother-in-law lives with you, but you never mentioned how old he is and if he pays rent to live with you. What exactly do you feel disrespected by him for?

3. Does your sister-in-law also live with you? What is the quarrel about her?

4. As for your wife, you want her to be grateful, can you please be more specific as to what it is your quarrel with her is?

Shut up
Ode
See as U dey talk
I suppose land U severe slaps

OP am sure you know better because you knw her better than anybody here. I am opine to say that some women are destiny killers believe it or not those kind of women even though you give them money wey full river them go stil waste am and no go do anytin reasonable with am. Some women are not meant to be married even if you give them Jesus as husband they will still not be okay. my bro please try not to kill yourself with your hand ooo. use your head wey God give you because once you die she go follow another man even before them bury you

How can you mentioning all these huge amount of money and still can't make a good judgement call in your marital life?

If something no dey give you joy, no be to try resolve am? Make you and the madam sit down and talk nah.

Instead of attacking her this time, ask her questions. Ask her what her grievances are. Ask her what you can do to make things better. And also use the opportunity to communicate your own needs.

But if all these ones no work, na to divorce nah. Always make yourself happy bro. Life is too short you know.

Kobojunkie:
What do you mean by she does not appreciate all you have done? Do you expect her to see you as a Messiah of some sort or what?
Unless you explain what exactly the core of this is, there is no way of properly stating my opinion on this..

Na Dem o. De de hide dere gender

Lessons123:
I have a wife and blessed with a daughter, I earn extremely high and I am in a debt of over 2m monthly as a result of paying for a loan monthly to set up a business for my wife which has gulped over 30m and still a failure though this is the second failure of business opened.

I decided to open the business as we both agreed she should resign as her salary as a teacher was the same salary with one of our two maids.

The issue is despite doing very well financially, my wife always gives me issues and there doesn't seem to be any love apart from me being her daily ATM.

There was actually a phase when I had challenges financially and she was the only person to mock me.

I need your advice as the quarrels are becoming too constant and the severe quarrels are majorly related to my brother in laws and sister in laws. Mind you my brother in law has been living with us and disrespects me and she defends him. Also before the marriage she was a very humble and tolerating lady until the business was opened. Sometimes I feel guilty as my dad had to sell his house in lekki and is in the process of buying a house in Ajah because he needed only 10m to complete his house in the village, which I could have easily provided if it wasn't for my indebtedness through my wife.

Mature advise please.

You have distanced your self from your true loved ones and parents and you no longer care as before emotionally ,psychologically , financially and in other areas and you have shown much more attention and love to a lady you never really understood her color before marrying her, if you are wealthy before marrying a lady you need to create a believable story of going broke and loosing everything to see the ladies that will stand by you and even take extra effort to borrow or help you with the little they can and give you encouraging words. My advice for you is to repair your relationship with your parents and make them happier In all ways , close down the business and reduce the burden of the loan from the proceeds and have a heart to heart talk with you wife and let her know how you feel and if no changes you need to simulate being totally broke and only give enough for feeding her and the baby and if she can't cope look for a trusted family or person your daughter can stay with for the maintime and take proper care of her. And if your wife still does not change for good then perhaps she was never meant for you but if she changes for good welcome her and don't spoil her with money again but only neccesities of life , any bonus must be earned by her actions.

Kobojunkie:
1. Stop feeling guilty over your Dad's issue.... the moment you left home to live with your own family, your father's plans became your father's plans and not yours. You now have bigger fish to fry of your own.... your family. It is brutal but the truth.

2. You say your brother-in-law lives with you, but you never mentioned how old he is and if he pays rent to live with you. What exactly do you feel disrespected by him for?

3. Does your sister-in-law also live with you? What is the quarrel about her?

4. As for your wife, you want her to be grateful, can you please be more specific as to what it is your quarrel with her is?

You really must be high on crack

Lessons123:
. My brother in law does not pay rent I agreed to help as he was coming for NYSC in Lagos and now he has spent two years in my house despite also having a good job for an entry level guy.

Dawg what kind of human being are u ?
Give that fool of an in law 5months to look for a house. After that 5 months throw him out immediately

chii8:
Get another person to manage the business, let your wife go back to teaching job, tell brother in law to get his own apartment.


But before this, come home one day with a bitter face and forge a story of how you lost everything.... the person to manage the business will be serving as a debtor who took over the business because you couldn't service a loan.Hide all this from your wife.Limit every extravagant expenses and let's see if the whole house won't calm down

Na women de give Man advice on how to manage his home. De man is really a simp

Lessons123:
I do not want to think divorce or cheat on her as I have strong moral values against cheating.

Be a man,stop at nothing in asserting your authority, be ready to be "a wicked man" ,turn her to a full time house wife and thank me later.

Lessons123:
I do not want to think divorce or cheat on her as I have strong moral values against cheating.

Yes I understand u bro , but first start with the brother by giving him a quite notice , ur wife might threaten u that she will go with him bro , PLS dont shake , stand ur ground, if she leaves with the brother, u weren't the one that sent her away .

AutoChick4U:
You married a fine girl while she married your money. Deal with. Just pray u dont lose that ur job or business

Ur statement looks childish, buh that's de fact. U are point. I don fûcking care how childish it sounds

Kobojunkie:
So how does he disrespect you?

You can always ask for a new arrangement since he has a job. You can ask that he begin contributing to the grocery bill, or pay electricity bill or something if it is the case that he does not respect the cost of running the household. You get him to sign a contract stating he will pay his share.

Contribute what exactly? He should go get house

Kobojunkie:
1. Stop feeling guilty over your Dad's issue.... the moment you left home to live with your own family, your father's plans became your father's plans and not yours. You now have bigger fish to fry of your own.... your family. It is brutal but the truth.

WTF did I just read, dats ur dad, the man who sacrificed time & resources to make sure u grow into a man, In this kind of situation, I WILL ALWAYS MAKE SURE MY DAD got what he wants! as long as I have d financial muscle.

And Lessons123 are u sure ur wife isn't d boss in dat house, am sorry, but u seem weak & indecisive

teeste:
Let her go back to her teaching job. The more you invested in a woman, the more the regrets. That money could have been used for a life insurance for your children. Women don't deserve this treatment you guys are giving them. That gender wasn't created to give, so putting so much in their custody is a wrong move!

The way and manner u slander women is abhoring and totally unacceptable. There are so many good women out there who are both beautiful in mind.

Stop this slander and extreme criticisms as it would do u no good. I remember how many times my wife contributed to my business without me asking her a dime and she never collected all those millions back till this day until my work and business got back to where it is today. And as a pay back for her good intentions,I had to gift her a car.

Pls,I hate it when it seems as though women are our problems in marriage and in our work places. Every woman deserves to be respected.

Stop this hate.

teeste:
Let her go back to her teaching job. The more you invested in a woman, the more the regrets. That money could have been used for a life insurance for your children. Women don't deserve this treatment you guys are giving them. That gender wasn't created to give, so putting so much in their custody is a wrong move!

Best advice, same thing I told him

By the time you met each other as husband and wife, did you pay her dowry, your parents and her parents give consent to your marriage, better go and report her to her family, also send out your brother in law out of your matrimonial home. He supposed not to be living with you in the first instance. Elders will be able to talk to her and you will live comfortably. I don't support divorce, but if she is unable to change, use your sense.

Lessons123:
I have a wife and blessed with a daughter, I earn extremely high and I am in a debt of over 2m monthly as a result of paying for a loan monthly to set up a business for my wife which has gulped over 30m and still a failure though this is the second failure of business opened.

I decided to open the business as we both agreed she should resign as her salary as a teacher was the same salary with one of our two maids.

The issue is despite doing very well financially, my wife always gives me issues and there doesn't seem to be any love apart from me being her daily ATM.

There was actually a phase when I had challenges financially and she was the only person to mock me.

I need your advice as the quarrels are becoming too constant and the severe quarrels are majorly related to my brother in laws and sister in laws. Mind you my brother in law has been living with us and disrespects me and she defends him. Also before the marriage she was a very humble and tolerating lady until the business was opened. Sometimes I feel guilty as my dad had to sell his house in lekki and is in the process of buying a house in Ajah because he needed only 10m to complete his house in the village, which I could have easily provided if it wasn't for my indebtedness through my wife.

Mature advise please.

what business did you invest 30 million into and didn't succeed?

Hmmmm, be a man and handle her well before she turns you to nothing. Since she never loved you but fell in love with your money, she will not hesitate to leave you once you go broke.

I am a woman, and I can tell you that most women without good morals and the fear of God, if given the chance would want to control and dominate the men in their lives through different manipulative tactics.

So if you don't want to die young, and be with nothing better take charge of your home NOW! I wonder why some shameless relatives won't let someone enjoy their marriage in peace. They want to be monitoring spirit.

God forbid bad thing abeg!

Lessons123:
I don't want to break my home like I said earlier I have strong moral values and a strong Christian and somehow believe favour from God comes from living right, peace, kindness and not divorce, cheating etc. I try to live righteous.

Bro we understand, but dont let ur home break u .
It's not a sin to tell ur wife brother earning to look for house , u are actually encouraging him to be a man .


Now if ur wife decides to leave with him , u didn't commit any sin bro

They man belongs to the group of, I wan marry fine gal, I wan marry fine gal. Buh u never even start u don de complain of money. Go ask Igbo men for alaba how Dem de take manage those dere fine wives. Dere wife de de in charge of their shop n bank accounts. They spend lavishly on dere wife. If Dem de cheat de wife no wan know. All she came for is for de money n de man wants her body simple

Lessons123:
I have a wife and blessed with a daughter, I earn extremely high and I am in a debt of over 2m monthly as a result of paying for a loan monthly to set up a business for my wife which has gulped over 30m and still a failure though this is the second failure of business opened.

I decided to open the business as we both agreed she should resign as her salary as a teacher was the same salary with one of our two maids.

The issue is despite doing very well financially, my wife always gives me issues and there doesn't seem to be any love apart from me being her daily ATM.

There was actually a phase when I had challenges financially and she was the only person to mock me.

I need your advice as the quarrels are becoming too constant and the severe quarrels are majorly related to my brother in laws and sister in laws. Mind you my brother in law has been living with us and disrespects me and she defends him. Also before the marriage she was a very humble and tolerating lady until the business was opened. Sometimes I feel guilty as my dad had to sell his house in lekki and is in the process of buying a house in Ajah because he needed only 10m to complete his house in the village, which I could have easily provided if it wasn't for my indebtedness through my wife.

Mature advise please.

Is this a movie script?

Otherwise, I will say you are a weakling and gutless.

Dem no dey advice you type.

Bro, if truly you are a man and the rightful owner of your house ,sell your house and collect the money by then everyone will find their way including your wife and your inlaw then start your life again.women are full of deceit and you can never please them.imagine your father selling his property at lekki and moves to Ajah (water logged area). Shey Ori e pe sha?

Lessons123:
I have a wife and blessed with a daughter, I earn extremely high and I am in a debt of over 2m monthly as a result of paying for a loan monthly to set up a business for my wife which has gulped over 30m and still a failure though this is the second failure of business opened.

I decided to open the business as we both agreed she should resign as her salary as a teacher was the same salary with one of our two maids.

The issue is despite doing very well financially, my wife always gives me issues and there doesn't seem to be any love apart from me being her daily ATM.

There was actually a phase when I had challenges financially and she was the only person to mock me.

I need your advice as the quarrels are becoming too constant and the severe quarrels are majorly related to my brother in laws and sister in laws. Mind you my brother in law has been living with us and disrespects me and she defends him. Also before the marriage she was a very humble and tolerating lady until the business was opened. Sometimes I feel guilty as my dad had to sell his house in lekki and is in the process of buying a house in Ajah because he needed only 10m to complete his house in the village, which I could have easily provided if it wasn't for my indebtedness through my wife.

Mature advise please.

Should we contribute money and buy skirt and blouse for you so u can finally be inducted into Women's Fellowship?
Abeg from tomorrow begin do at-ease when peeing, abeg don't abuse the mans4way of peeing.

You are to blame in all these,
1. Come off your imaginary high horse, you don't earn extremely high. Nobody that earns "extremely high" considers 30M a huge debt. Bro, you are struggling.
2. Because you think you are so rich, you asked your wife to stop her teaching job. Bro your wife needs a job, not just for the salary but for the exposure and to keep her mind busy and for socializing.
3. You think your wife is ungrateful because you think you are doing so much for her, bro you are wrong because you are still a struggling young man and don't be surprised that your wife has seen or been with much richer men.
4. Because you think you earn extremely high, You are pushing yourself to do things beyond your capacity like taking a loan for her that you can't offset but guess what, your wife sees you as the struggling young man that you really are.
5. Something within you thinks that your wife and her family are leaching on your high earnings, so you start having issues with your inlaws.
6. To impress her and maintain your high earning status, you have put her affairs over your family and even your father's welfare... very disappointing.�

Bro start by admitting that you are not as rich as you think and respect that woman and her family, that's all she wants else nothing you do for her will be appreciated.

Only the first paragraph when I read alone,na I take no say people get money for this country 2ru 2ru,well let me go back and continue reading from were i stopped jare,I just say make i come inform owner say people get money[color=#990000][/color]