Justbehave:
Well,you are a man and you should know how to handle such a woman by yourself. The way I might handle the issue if i'm in your shoes,you might not have the guts to do same.
Na your life. If you want to die young you know what to do and if you want to live long,you still know what to do.In all,be wise as a serpent.

Oga if he knew, why would he post public for advice? You for just ignore the post than spill these gibberish. You want to sit on the fence, abeg comot for road make we for see joor.

Op. Make out a strong budget taking your income and expenses into consideration. Cut all excess with your wife which includes setting up any biz and his bro excesses. Send her bro packing immediately.
Your expenses should include evening outings to take your mind off the happening. Then allocate and keep balance for your personal savings and investments.
Life continues bro

Justbehave:
SMH

WEEDdemgirls:
That's a very bad character she's exhibiting to be fair.
Your brother in law also stay with you guys and disrespects you? Are you sure you're the man in that house And it very wrong of your wife for supporting his brother.

You've said it all, I doubt if the story is true or you're just a simp. Who tolerate such in his space?I wonder the kind of men we now have


We rise by lifting others

Lessons123:
I have a wife and blessed with a daughter, I earn extremely high and I am in a debt of over 2m monthly as a result of paying for a loan monthly to set up a business for my wife which has gulped over 30m and still a failure though this is the second failure of business opened.

I decided to open the business as we both agreed she should resign as her salary as a teacher was the same salary with one of our two maids.

The issue is despite doing very well financially, my wife always gives me issues and there doesn't seem to be any love apart from me being her daily ATM.

There was actually a phase when I had challenges financially and she was the only person to mock me.

I need your advice as the quarrels are becoming too constant and the severe quarrels are majorly related to my brother in laws and sister in laws. Mind you my brother in law has been living with us and disrespects me and she defends him. Also before the marriage she was a very humble and tolerating lady until the business was opened. Sometimes I feel guilty as my dad had to sell his house in lekki and is in the process of buying a house in Ajah because he needed only 10m to complete his house in the village, which I could have easily provided if it wasn't for my indebtedness through my wife.

Mature advise please.

It is your income she married to.....and not your person.

Get 2nd wife

I think this lunch is meant for the married couples because in my bachelor's mind, I will give my self a break by staying away from them for 3-6 months.

I will rent a separate and distance house for her siblings after my break and I will pretend to be broke in other to check if she will change her mind or quit.

Johnsown1:
I think this lunch is meant for the married couples because in my bachelor's mind, I will give my self a break by staying away from them for 3-6 months.

The problems will still be there waiting for you after your break... compounded.

Kobojunkie:
The problems will still be there waiting for you after your break... compounded.

Then it will be better if I will fake brokenness so that she may flee or calm down

Johnsown1:
Then it will be better if I will fake brokenness so that she may flee or calm down

Fake brokenness? Problems typically have no way of processing our human condition so they continue to evolve as previously coded until we finally get around to resolving what has become of them..

If his wife leaves, that is more problems for him as he now has to find a way to handle his kid, handle the store assuming she leaves that too, handle his own job and still pays off the loan he has on top of it all among other problems..

Kobojunkie:
1. Stop feeling guilty over your Dad's issue.... [s] the moment you left home to live with your own family, your father's plans became your father's plans and not yours. You now have bigger fish to fry of your own.... your family. It is brutal but the truth. [/s]

2. You say your brother-in-law lives with you, but you never mentioned how old he is and if he pays rent to live with you. What exactly do you feel disrespected by him for?

3. Does your sister-in-law also live with you? What is the quarrel about her?

4. As for your wife, you want her to be grateful, can you please be more specific as to what it is your quarrel with her is?

Trash. Are you a bird? Because those are the creatures that don't serve any purpose to their parents after all the labour and sacrifices to make them become something

GetMeRight:
Trash. Are you a bird? Because those are the creatures that don't serve any purpose to their parents after all the labour and sacrifices to make them become something

Maybe it would do you some good to learn from the birds.

Kobojunkie:
Maybe it would do you some good to learn from the birds.

No. My parents' labour and sacrifices on me will never be in vain. They deserve much more from me

GetMeRight:
No. My parents' labour and sacrifices on me will never be in vain. They deserve much more from me

Well, if that works for you, great then!

God who created the birds the way they are also did so with great wisdom.

manontree:
Granted she never loved you from beginning but your money

But regardless she should at least be grateful �. Few men can treat her this way. If she is a good person she should have been grateful for all you have done and the least she would do is treat you fairly

But this ingrate has taken your hard earned sweat and has to show you that you mean nothing to her

People don't usually realise what they have until they lose it

My advise
Give her a taste of her own medicine. Separate from her for a while. Do not spend a dime on her during the separation. Make it a minimum of 1yr
If she battles you for upkeep of the child, battle her with all the wealth you have until she is choked and realises she cannot win ugly with you. Trust me she would use the daughter as a means to keep getting financial fulfilment from you while frolicking with the men she loves during the separation period. You must return venom for venom
That is when she would revert to being humble again and that is when the real negotiation begins

Poster please IGNORE this advice. This will make it worse! And yes take it from someone who is married!

GetMeRight:


Trash. Are you a bird? Because those are the creatures that don't serve any purpose to their parents after all the labour and sacrifices to make them become something

Ignore that moniker, he's fond of giving trash advices in marital related threads.

Lessons123:
I have a wife and blessed with a daughter, I earn extremely high and I am in a debt of over 2m monthly as a result of paying for a loan monthly to set up a business for my wife which has gulped over 30m and still a failure though this is the second failure of business opened.

I decided to open the business as we both agreed she should resign as her salary as a teacher was the same salary with one of our two maids.

The issue is despite doing very well financially, my wife always gives me issues and there doesn't seem to be any love apart from me being her daily ATM.

There was actually a phase when I had challenges financially and she was the only person to mock me.

I need your advice as the quarrels are becoming too constant and the severe quarrels are majorly related to my brother in laws and sister in laws. Mind you my brother in law has been living with us and disrespects me and she defends him. Also before the marriage she was a very humble and tolerating lady until the business was opened. Sometimes I feel guilty as my dad had to sell his house in lekki and is in the process of buying a house in Ajah because he needed only 10m to complete his house in the village, which I could have easily provided if it wasn't for my indebtedness through my wife.

Mature advise please.

You married a wife, before you married her, sis you see if she had entrepreneurial spirit? You asked get to resign and set up businesses for her that she can't manage and maybe they were never her life of passion sef.

Some women prefer to work in an office or teach. Did you ask her if she really wanted to resign?


Now kasala don dey first for your head.

What sort of a man are you? How can a man use his money to marry a wife and house his neither inlaw and brother go dey disrespect am for him own house?

.
Oh! So you are waiting for nairalanders to ask you to sit up as a man in that home? You are waiting for us to tell you to kick they BIL out for his disrespect to you so the sister who is the wife you married can know who is the man of the home?

.
If you like continue to be lily delivered let a BIL and your wife as siblings wreck you, they kuku know you have money so they are misbehaving.

The choice is yours to make

greenie77:
Another tales by moonlight!

[/b]......[/b]Who sells prime property in Lekki because he needed to complete a village house? [b]

His dad

Lessons123:
Pensioners who have homes in lekki have no source of income apart from the only property they acquired while in service. And as they grow older must relocate to the village or country home.

Replying those small boys, who knows nothing about life, in that civil manner shows how irredeemably weak you are. Man, stop being a chronic gentleman

Marry another wife !
You will THANK GOD ALWAYS

EmptyGarden:
All women have this extreme sense of entitlement after marriage.

You have said it all.

The sense of entitlement is so scary that they tend to be very ungrateful for things you go out of your way to do for them.
As soon as you say "I DO", it becomes your responsibility to meet their needs, if you like go and borrow.
The ones that mocks you at your low points in life are actually the type that sends men to their early grave.

Use your head or you die before your time.

Lessons123:
No one knows tomorrow and where our kids will find themselves that is why I don't complain too much about her siblings moving in. But the issue is she does not appreciate all I have done and we quarrel regularly.

Then stop quarreling na. Work on issues that make you two quarrel.

BRATISLAVA:


Inform us of your other flaws, so that you don't come in here painting your wife black while you pretend to be a saint, and receive advice from small boys.

If you're looking to do things for people so that they will be indebted or grateful to you, you've missed the point of doing good. With your own wife you're still looking for how to count what you did in the back of your head, so that you can demand gratefulness?

Do what is right and responsible by your family and leave the rest to God. Your issue is debt, not her gratefulness. What made you open a business without proper research?

You are talking story

Even God requires being grateful from we humans
Talkless of a human being

Anyone that is ungrateful doesn't deserve anything good be it wife or whatever

Women especially are very fond of this thing
And this is the reason why many homes are having issues

Many entitled and ungrateful wives

Lessons123:
. My brother in law does not pay rent I agreed to help as he was coming for NYSC in Lagos and now he has spent two years in my house despite also having a good job for an entry level guy.

If someone disrespects you in your own house, without question, the next night they should sleep under a bridge.

Kobojunkie:
1. Stop feeling guilty over your Dad's issue.... the moment you left home to live with your own family, your father's plans became your father's plans and not yours. You now have bigger fish to fry of your own.... your family. It is brutal but the truth.

2. You say your brother-in-law lives with you, but you never mentioned how old he is and if he pays rent to live with you. What exactly do you feel disrespected by him for?

3. Does your sister-in-law also live with you? What is the quarrel about her?

4. As for your wife, you want her to be grateful, can you please be more specific as to what it is your quarrel with her is?

You must be a vagina person.

Kobojunkie:
Fake brokenness? Problems typically have no way of processing our human condition so they continue to evolve as previously coded until we finally get around to resolving what has become of them..

If his wife leaves, that is more problems for him as he now has to find a way to handle his kid, handle the store assuming she leaves that too, handle his own job and still pays off the loan he has on top of it all among other problems..

If the wife leaves which I doubt then he will have to heal and find another.
I know of a doctor that his wife died leaving him with a 3year old kid but he never remarry till date, he can handle himself na. The stoor is a small thing because he can put people their,monitor them and go about his business and whether she leaves or stays the loan must be repaid.

Johnsown1:
If they wife leaves which I doubt then he will have to heal and find another.
I know of a doctor that his wife died leaving him with a 3year old kid but he never remarry till date, he can handle himself na. The stoor is a small thing because he can put people their,monitor them and go about his business and whether she leaves or stays the loan must be repaid.

If you say so.

Kobojunkie:
Entitlement?...I simply asked questions to better understand his qualms with each of those he seems to blame for his predicament, nothing more.

When a story doesn't add up, it is best to ask questions to better get more information to help you better understand the situation.

Even a blind man could see that you had started to gaslight OP. It is obvious where you lean anyway.

Rogerss:
Yes, we had 2 beautiful children together (Boys) and I am always happy when I see them at my ex family house.
They asked why i was leaving and I explained my reason to them. I could not correct my ex on anything without her shouting at me.
Small disagreement which she caused o, she would be moody all day that I have to apologies before she would start talking with me.
On 2 occasions she was showing me something on her phone, messages from different guys came in appreciating her visits.
My phone is a open book, she had my passwords, even transfers money from my accounts before telling me she did, no issue was raised.
What broke the camels back was her bad mouthing me to my parents that I was unfaithful which she claimed she had no proof but sensed it.
And other stories to our close friend then that I hit her on several occasion which even her Dad said he doubts as there is no single scratch on her.
My delay in walking away had to do with what people told me about how kids suffer when parents are not together. That you end up getting married again and another woman treats your kids badly. However someone told me that my kids would learn how a marriage should be when they see how I leave with my wife.
I want to raise kids who would understand that despite mistakes make in relationships they could pick themselves up and move on.
That with the fact that my parents are married for 50years no issues and I looking like I had failed in marriage.
It was hell as some friends laughed at my back that I could not hold a home while they complain everyday.

I knew she lied a lot and would saying that I do not give them money for feeding even though she usually shared the outings I take her on on Facebook. She repeated same with my parents as one of the reasons she was always quarreling with me. So I told them that I would instead be paying my children school fees and giving her mom 60k monthly for the 2 boys. I would also get cloths for them whenever they needed new cloths. She should get her own money for her upkeep. Giving her the money would only finance her lifestyle.

I did not sell the house, I only told them I sold it so she would move out of the place. A colleague from work posed as the buyer. He is from another town so she does not know him. I am currently back leaving in my house now.

Marriage is something I would encourage everyone to go into. Would however advise that you open your eyes and take every little sign serious because there are lots of warning we feel that people would outgrow after sometime.
As for me, I currently am focused on raising my kids and would want to get my kids back from her parents when they are in secondary school (Boarding school) as it gets lonely sometimes.
Not considering going into marriage for now or anything serious as I want to focus on building myself to a level I feel I should be. Though her parents are still pleading on her behalf for 3 years now, she also keeps calling requesting that we talk, but the hell I passed through brings me back to earth every time.

Very revealing

AfroKnight:
Even a blind man could see that you had started to gaslight OP. It is obvious where you lean anyway.

I am afraid you have no clue what my leanings are at all since all I am doing is following Op's own lead.

Majority of you commenting are instead reacting without first getting the story in properly. The OP made it known he is a Christian and has no intentions of seeking a way out of marriage, and he also made it known he was not looking to kicking his in-laws out meaning he is looking for a way to resolve not create new issues on top of the load he already bears.

Kobojunkie:
1. Stop feeling guilty over your Dad's issue.... the moment you left home to live with your own family, your father's plans became your father's plans and not yours. You now have bigger fish to fry of your own.... your family. It is brutal but the truth.

2. You say your brother-in-law lives with you, but you never mentioned how old he is and if he pays rent to live with you. What exactly do you feel disrespected by him for?

3. Does your sister-in-law also live with you? What is the quarrel about her?

4. As for your wife, you want her to be grateful, can you please be more specific as to what it is your quarrel with her is?

Abeg... Who is this? 30M indebtedness because of a woman who doesn't show gratitude. Does she have to send him to the grave before you realise that you are just heartless?

dannielight:


Abeg... Who is this? 30M indebtedness because of a woman who doesn't show gratitude. Does she have to send him to the grave before you realise that you are just heartless?

I dey ask the guy questions about the situation, you dey ask me wetin??

Not everyone is business minded, let your wife go back to the teaching job or she should find a better salary job and continue to foot the family bill while you have another business for yourself as side hustle incase you have issue with your major source(s) of income in the future.