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Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? - Family (16) - Nairaland

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Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by Zico007: 10:38am On Sep 26, 2021
chatinent:


This scenario reminds me of Jude and Eniola Badmus that was always cartoonized on The Sun Newspaper.

That means if she were the one providing the meals, ọ ga -esiri gị ike ga ahu banana nke a rapuru fo.

Mehn..

Nothing dey vex me pass references to every little efforts you make forgetting my daily stabs to make you happy.

Most women cannot be men even for a day.

Only one evening my cousin sister took me out, I never even remove my shoe naim I read her status: “I like the woman I am becoming. Always learn to man your womanhood.”

The only thing most women tend to appreciate is credit alerts..or send your account number. They will become so emotional..they can even cry.

Let the case be the reverse.

Make she just take care of you for two days.

You go hear weeen. She go even remind you how she carry you for stomach for nine months.

“Richie, what is this na, can't I have peace after coming back from work again? How can you eat and cannot wash your plates again! What's this na!”

“Baby, why are you shouting? The neighbours are at...”

“Don't baby me. What have I not done to make you happy? Will I kill myself? Am I the only married woman in the world..what is this na.”

(You try to hold her hands to calm her down...she slaps you damn hard).

“(She is crying now..tears flowly freely). Just see what you made me do. Just see it. Everything is just wrong with this world.”

You mah wey dem slap go still go meet am for parlour where she dey cry dey pet am (and that is after checking your cheeks if blood dey comot). You go come humbly tell am say no bi you eat, say na the one she eat for morning..but anyways, you forgot to wash it.

Another matter don dey brew.

She will now come to the parlour and sit, ask you for the remote and change the football to Telemundo and mutter these words you'll never hear: “work e won't work, such a failure. It's only remote e can pass.”

You will try to look at her with your side eyes but meet her full eyes staring at you in disgust. Mumu you go come smile enter bedroom.

As you are walking into the bedroom, the volume of the muttering is increasing but it's still inaudible.

In the oza room, just respect yourself. Don't even dare..unless you want the whole world to know how you will be idle and want to kill sb’s daughter after working all day!

“oh, it's your plan, Richie, baa? To kill me so that you can now go and meet Ishilove, baa?”


Only you go dey like Stone Cold Steve Austin sleep.


It will be normal...the “honey, darling etc.” is going to die. You will be called your name...two seconds, she will stop calling your name and just be giving out orders.

Abeg, don't even remind her you are the husband. You will get the insult of your life. She will say “no, say it loud na, let mama Chisom hear you. How many husbands stay at home watching football and their wives are left to do all the work!”


But na you still dey pay rent, buy foodstuff, and children fees.

Baba, kuku collect that responsiblity back. I hate to talk much. No dare shift any of your responsibility to woman...even if she persists to want to help. E kuku better she dey do am willingly than you register her name on it.

Only women, babies, and pets are loved. Men are respected when they man up. Na the respect we dey translate to love.

My brother is not easy o. Stopped her taking any responsibility after her reaction. At the moment I do all I can solely. I trive hard to carry responsibility. Sometimes she believes in me than I do
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by Kobojunkie: 10:42am On Sep 26, 2021
bukatyne:

Follow the convo to understand the context of his statement.

He said a lot of women move from their parents' home to their martial home hence they have never been in charge of bills or financial management.

Hence the statement you highlighted.

In that context, it makes sense that most women with that experience need a while to learn how to manage money.
No it does not make any sense at all. A lot of men also move from their parent's homes to their marital homes as well. Many - both male male female alike - learn these skills right there in their parent's homes. undecided

I used to have classmates back in my secondary school who had side jobs and they knew even then the importance of money. While I know, even now, adults, many of who left home before 18, that still have terrible money management skills. undecided
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by colestephan86: 10:50am On Sep 26, 2021
Rubbiish:

Honestly u have a good wife!
See how her support is making u to focus on your site. Imagine she keeping all her money to herself, how will grow?
Lol, you know women na, it wasn't easy but you know , women need you to make them understand your intentions over and over again
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by Highbeepeeh(m): 10:52am On Sep 26, 2021
Davash222:

May God have mercy on His people.

E no go better for poverty!
Wallahi E no go better Poverty....

Na poverty dey make man become woMAN for house cry
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by bukatyne(f): 10:53am On Sep 26, 2021
JESHAL:



Men rarely disrespect women, the issue is that most people see women's submission as disrespect and a man can't tolerate a woman who won't defer to his authority, no man wants an headache

Hahahahahahaha hahahahahahah
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by bukatyne(f): 10:56am On Sep 26, 2021
Emmanuel909090:
Most women are selfish and self centered, they want you to keep doing but find it diffcult to do for you.

Not all, but most.


Interesting.

I believe you are male and subscribe to the traditional model of husband provide & wife chores.

Can you as a husband continue to provide fully and do most/all of the chores while your wife is at home?

I want a yes or no?
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by chatinent: 10:57am On Sep 26, 2021
Zico007:


My brother is not easy o. Stopped her taking any responsibility after her reaction. At the moment I do all I can solely. I trive hard to carry responsibility. Sometimes she believes in me than I do

Nice one, man.

1 Like

Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by elonmuskbaby: 10:59am On Sep 26, 2021
bepositive11:


I agree with you but I don't think she's one of those women who will listen empathetically. She may even use his vulnerability against him

Maybe I'm wrong, but OP will know for sure. If she is understanding, OP should be open, direct, and honest
he's her husband.tell her the implications.a lot of women misbehave because they don't know the implications of their actions for not just themselves but everyone connected to them-children, husband etc
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by elonmuskbaby: 11:02am On Sep 26, 2021
alexola20:
Many women lack common sense even if you try to talk with them.
The only thing they want is credit alert.
the way and manner you communicate to her matters.when it's not done in a commanding or condescending time then it will have effects but when you dey form commando,that's when she won't care to listen
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by elonmuskbaby: 11:04am On Sep 26, 2021
smasher1:


Communicating is critical, very important. But that's who the woman is. It would take a more matured woman who the lady may see as a friend and complain to, to correct this silly behavior from her. The husband may try it. But the result can't be predicted with accuracy.
tell her in love and in wisdom not with the air of dictatorship or Idi Amin behaviour

1 Like

Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by spice123(m): 11:09am On Sep 26, 2021
emmanuelewumi:



So what percentage of the household income do you invest for the long term to take care of your retirement, how long can the family emergency reserves take care of household expenses when the unexpected happens
I am into IT and I have side hustles. My salary belong to my family while my side hustles take care of the rest. Lest I forget, I have a pension scheme. It's not everything I will expose on-line.
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by chatinent: 11:09am On Sep 26, 2021
Romanoff:


That's why a lot have their manhood tied to their pockets. The moment they don't have money, small talk wey their wife go talk, they will conclude it's because they are broke.

If your wife only submits to you cause you're older than her or cause you're the bread winner, that is not a marriage but a master and slave relationship.

When the tide turns, that woman will treat you the exact way you treated her.

Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by chatinent: 11:17am On Sep 26, 2021
Ok
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by Nobody: 11:18am On Sep 26, 2021
bukatyne:


Hahahahahaha!

When someone marries a church goer in the name of 'I married a Christian'

Please read 1 cor 13 v 1 - 8 and tell us if it aligns with your thought process above.

I am assuming you go to church because you are attempting to explain what headship means in the Bible.

While you are reading that passage, please point out the Bible passage that says a husband should not do chores at home (forget his financial status now).



my jesh account has issues
back to your question, in the book of proverbs that contains the wisdom of God made it exclusively care that it is a woman duty to do chores ,remember proverbs 31 on a virtious woman specifically in verse 15 she gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls and verse 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness, unlike feminism which wants to reverse gender role or split house chores 50/50 or any other sharing formula, and we can see marital failure the likes we have never seen in recorded human history, God has sealed the duties of a good wife in these chapter take your time and reflect on it, no instance in the scriptures instigating a man to do house chores

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Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by spice123(m): 11:19am On Sep 26, 2021
UncleKoboko:

Give all money to your wife?
U no get ambition to build your own house and other projects?

I pity you.
Money she can start using to take care of her boyfriends...
Just as I answered one mention, I am into IT and I have a side hustle. What I owe my family is my salary which is okay. In the first 4 months when I started it, yes it was tough. Money was mismanaged without proper planning. My wife also runs her business. It's not everything that I need to expose online.

1 Like

Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by hahn(m): 11:22am On Sep 26, 2021
reel14:
Hello Nairalanders. I got married late last year.
Even though I got married late, I made sure I was gainfully employed before taking the giant stride.

I love my wife and she loves me too. I carry 98 % of the home responsibility, recently, because things are on the high side and my wife is working as well, I told her to be taking care of filling the gas while I handle other bills.
I have observed that anytime I go near the gas maybe to make food or boil water, she will remind how expensive gas is right now, after all, if it finishes, I won't give money to fill. These words hurt me alot as this is the only thing you do for us in this house. I know how much I pay for rent, DSTV etc with other utility bills.

My thoughts now are;
How do men which their wives are feeding them cope with insults and embarrassments that come with every meal?

How do unemployed/underemployed men cope?

What if anything happens with my job, will I be able to stay in a verbal abusive home?

Your wife no be am.

If you can, get out of that marriage before you have a kid undecided

1 Like

Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by chatinent: 11:26am On Sep 26, 2021
FutureIsFemale:
This red text is affecting my eyes.

Sorry.

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Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by spice123(m): 11:27am On Sep 26, 2021
DavidEsq:

Does this mean she gets to takes care of the rent from the money u give her? So she gets to deliver at the end?
Exactly. She removes the monthly rent and she's into daily contribution as a business woman. She know how she does that.
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by bummyla(m): 11:34am On Sep 26, 2021
grin grin grin grin grin grin You are lucky Man! My own has told me in a nonsense tone a million times, that she will never support me financially, her sister too has told me a million times too! So, I know it is me and My God and God has never failed me. It made me a better Child of God! grin grin grin
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by spice123(m): 11:37am On Sep 26, 2021
FreeConCiencE:


Chai! See what men are becoming! So, to have peace now, I must handover my salary to my wife to manage, after removing transport fare. This is a tragedy.
You're getting me wrong bro. If you read deep meaning in what I wrote, you'll understand better. I am not saying I don't have peace in my home. No! I want my wife to be empowered, manage the home properly now that I am alive and it's working out very fine. This is the reason when most men die, their wives will be left stranded, for in-laws to deal with them. Worse case they start sleeping with men outside to feed them and kids. If I tell you that since I started this, my wife has added 4 things in her business to expand it. Business ideas are coming in. She uses part of money given to her to run and expand her business and the profit she uses for feeding and kids fees. Many will not understand this and I won't blame them. Build your home the way you want it to be.

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Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by spice123(m): 11:41am On Sep 26, 2021
Ficient:


If you give her the rest of your income, what will be left for projects, savings and others?
I replied one of the mentions so you will see the response to that. Thank you.
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by Dizzyyish: 11:43am On Sep 26, 2021
kushme:


So, now you know. I came here to read the experiences of men on the subject, only to see them flood the thread with their rubbish defensive traits and trying to advice men on how to handle the situation.

Any advice they try to give you, is on how it should favour the female gender.

They see men as tools and get angry when they can't use the tools .

2 Likes

Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by Nobody: 11:44am On Sep 26, 2021
[s]
Romanoff:
Me I don't see any problem in this o.

Na only one bill she dey pay, yet she wan turn terrorists for your head. You sef, always remind her how expensive DSTV and foodstuff costs as often as you can.

You can add the rising cost of rent too.

Treat people how they treat you and watch them adjust.

Just cause your own wife is like that doesn't mean all women are that way.

I know women who are bread winners and you'd never know, even n their house.

One just bought car and house that her family just moved into. Na her husband dey drive the car.

So don't conclude all women who are bread winners are like that.
[/s]

U came here to defend your gender abi?
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by spice123(m): 11:45am On Sep 26, 2021
placeofallure:


Many men won't like this your advice. My husband does same for me. He's not a 9-5 person. He's his own boss but I manage his finances. He's never had complains or anything cause he knows I'm a better manager. I get everything for him and for the house even up to shaving stick and boxers, foodstuff, DSTV and all. If anything, he's grateful I have taken the burden of deciding which one to do or forgo off him. We only communicate that's all. Sometimes, I add my own money to do stuff, nobody hears about it. I am happy to do it because I know he doesn't hold back. It's been like this even before we got married.

On the flip side, you can only do this with a woman who is not given to frivolity. A serious minded woman, who is purpose driven and have the overall interest of her man and home at heart. Not your everyday wig and eye shadow women if not OYO is your case.
You are 100% on point. All the mentions I have here are all tackles about my comment. This is simply reverse psychology.
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by sayle1952: 11:46am On Sep 26, 2021
@Spice123 do you do this after saving a little of your salary? Believe me women can be funny. I am married, we have tried this at some point because the madam kept asking what I am doing with my salary. Forgetting that after I have sent her money for upkeep there are miscellaneous I have to cater for before a new month comes. Meanwhile, the man's money is the family's while the womans money is hers.
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by BestJay(m): 11:46am On Sep 26, 2021
You can't imagine it, it is hell when it happens, you will be in hell before the real one if you happen to backslide from faith.

But God has given to man the shock absorber to bear and control all that through hope that the power will change hands... shocked shocked shocked

1 Like

Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by AmazonTopaz(f): 11:50am On Sep 26, 2021
Midas01:
Baby you smart.... kiss
Thanks kiss

1 Like

Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by AmazonTopaz(f): 11:52am On Sep 26, 2021
SmilingImabong:

God bless you bro.
There are men who take good care of there family like this man and they have worth and money.
Marry your friend and don't marry for breast and yansh
The reason why many men suffer this from women is because they were after last and the lady is aware that's why if he lacks financially she treats him like a puppet while she earns

It is very important for one to marry his/her friend for a healthy marriage and I am a sis not a bro. cheesy
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by spice123(m): 11:52am On Sep 26, 2021
Gval123:
Baba also learn to remove ur savings oh, very important. In fact, why don't our men have joint account with their wife in Nigeria? You should, so both of u will know how much u earn, from that money, each should have separate savings acct, that will be proportionate to what both of u contribute to the act. that is, if both of u are working. Separate calculate ur household expenses, keep small 4 savings. Nor be big deal oh, just that some women nor know priority, even some men too. e fit go use money buy makeup or ogogoro.
Your last sentence says it all. If your wife mismanges the money for Brazilian wig or bone straight, she will watch the kids stay at home without going to school. No woman wants that right? Or watch the kids go hungry and they cry to her for food? If she goes borrowing, that is on her. At the end, she will calm down.
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by spice123(m): 11:58am On Sep 26, 2021
Asour:


Tfare & fuel alone?

So you have no personal savings other than Tfare & fuel expenses from your salary?

I would really be surprised if your wife believes this.

Ha!
I am into IT and I have a side hustle. You think I'm dumb right? Lolssss
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by Asour: 12:04pm On Sep 26, 2021
spice123:

I am into IT and I have a side hustle. You think I'm dumb right? Lolssss

Haha.

So you are advising is to do what you are not 'honestly' doing?

LoL.
Re: Men That Their Wives Are The Breadwinners; How Do You Cope? by Ajalekoko76(m): 12:06pm On Sep 26, 2021
JovialJune:
Lol, jobless married men should be useful in the house by doing the chores, cooking, and taking care of the kids, believe me, no woman will insult or demean a man like that, instead, she will make it her life's goal to get him back on his feet again. A man cannot be useless at home and useless in providing leaving everything for the breadwinner to do, then expect respect and cuddling, mbanu, it doesnt work like that, you guys should stop the whining, make yourself useful at home.

As for what your wife did abi is doing, carry your cross like that, rebuke her, or ignore her, you knew who she was before you married her.

The last sentence spoiled everything. Change is constant you say ABI. Yes, I knew her but CHANGE is newest thing here. Most ladies pretend only for innocent man to see beast later. My dear Godly women are scarce/rare,I will advice men to manage chameleon in the house. Character is key in life @ both men and women, how can a man be jobless and still be jobless at home? Man need to swallow pride and humble in handling domestic works it is called MATURITY.

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