Kobojunkie:

So, you want to ruin your 15-year old marriage for the sake of your ego?
■ You go to market
■ Cook
■ clean the house
■ wash the children uniform
....
So you do these things in your own home and you expect what, a medal? The person that used to do them before, I am guessing your wife, she no be human being like you?

So your wife is interested in her career, and you are what? Against your "friend" doing well in her career or what? And let me guess, communication has degraded between you two and probably between your egos are butting heads at this point and rather than working on that, you are instead thinking of ways to end your relationship?

Look, no two marriages are created the same and no two individuals in a marriage are exact copies of themselves. You and your wife are meant to design your own marriage in a way that works for you, not go around comparing yourselves to others out there.
Die to your ego if you must and learn to grow rather than destroy your marriage over petty things such as what you listed here.

I accept all u just said it OK part of advice
Hope u read my post well for the past 10yrs she been working no support to house welfare
Marriage is part of helping each other flaws but when the other person see it in a different way and start capitalise on it then wahala go dey
Why won't I wash my children cloths and cook for my wife be a complain no u getting wrong
This no dey gree do anything again na work and church be her poragative u right no communication again I have tried honestly but all talks and gist fall on deaf ears
My 2nd son seems to understand what is really going on and am afraid our issues don't him at school he woke early today and said he didn't want to go to school ask him y he said nothing with a sad face
They are reason am still putting on d relationship to make it work but honestly now am just tired
It better to have a broken home and be alive to see yur children grow than to be death

Go for marital counseling together to get to the root cause[s] of your issues. Stay in your marriage and make it work.

MALIGNANTGuest:

MARRIAGE is not joke these days.
For my kind of man, Any Lady that Feels she can get employment through marriage has failed.
My Wife knows that.
She knows what arouses me.
And she knows I am hollow in terms of Feelings.

Start making arrangements for a second and competent wife and see her WAKE UP.

Let me still weigh my option

InTheCloudySky:
Go for marital counseling together to get to the root cause[s] of your issues. Stay in your marriage and make it work.

Several times bro's he don tire me

neonly:

Several times bro's he don tire me

I can sense Laxity on her part if you're truthful.
That's how most of them start looking unkempt and accumulating excuses.
IF you truly do all that you put up there, then she does no work at home.
The only relationship between a man and his WIFE is marriage and not BLOOD TIES.
Forget the LIES people perpetrate everywhere about Husbands being spiritually linked to their wives. What about SOLOMON who cleaved to 1000 women?
U can only share blood ties with your siblings.
Ur WIFE is still the visitor and that's the practical & undiluted truth.

bigpicture001:


They worst is knowing ur wife have the money to rescue u from a very dangerous downfall ND refuses to ... It turns to hating her instantly

Tears, so people are wicked to this extent.

neonly:

I accept all u just said it OK part of advice
Hope u read my post well for the past 10yrs she been working no support to house welfare
Marriage is part of helping each other flaws but when the other person see it in a different way and start capitalise on it then wahala go dey
Why won't I wash my children cloths and cook for my wife be a complain no u getting wrong
This no dey gree do anything again na work and church be her poragative u right no communication again I have tried honestly but all talks and gist fall on deaf ears
My 2nd son seems to understand what is really going on and am afraid our issues don't him at school he woke early today and said he didn't want to go to school ask him y he said nothing with a sad face
They are reason am still putting on d relationship to make it work but honestly now am just tired
It better to have a broken home and be alive to see yur children grow than to be death

You say she has worked for 10 years straight,
does she handle expenses in the household as well or does she simply work and keep for herself Have?

Have you tried Professional counseling to drill down to the core issues in your marriage? All you have listed don't sound like real issues so it continues to seem as though there are other reasons which are not included in your text. This is not to say that your frustrations aren't real, no.

You both need to talk and work out issues as adults rather than simply shut each other out. Please try to seek counseling from professionals.... I would not recommend family as they might inject their own biases and further fracture the union where there may be no need for such.

Kestolove:
Divorce and marry another, responsible girls full area no husband

The problem is they're not visible na the ones wey cast dey everywhere

[quote author=MALIGNANTGuest post=106219395]
I can sense Laxity on her part if you're truthful.


Why will I want to lie
To gain what
I was admitted at the hospital on Thursday still Saturday d only time she come is when brings food in morning she no even sitdon u go here am going to work
That one of reason I come dey reason my self and my life

okoroemeka:
asking strangers on nnairaland what you will do in your marriage is wrong,take the bull by the horns,talk to your wife,allow her to vent her anger so you might understand what went wrong,she is a woman,you can easily control her if you know how.

This is a faceless forum, he might have exhausted his options mentally or is psychologically unable to handle it and needs an outlet.. every chef his spoon

Kobojunkie:

So, you want to ruin your 15-year old marriage for the sake of your ego?
■ You go to market
■ Cook
■ clean the house
■ wash the children uniform
....
So you do these things in your own home and you expect what, a medal? The person that used to do them before, I am guessing your wife, she no be human being like you?

So your wife is interested in her career, and you are what? Against your "friend" doing well in her career or what? And let me guess, communication has degraded between you two and probably between your egos are butting heads at this point and rather than working on that, you are instead thinking of ways to end your relationship?

Look, no two marriages are created the same and no two individuals in a marriage are exact copies of themselves. You and your wife are meant to design your own marriage in a way that works for you, not go around comparing yourselves to others out there.
Die to your ego if you must and learn to grow rather than destroy your marriage over petty things such as what you listed here.

Before I checked the person that typed, I was like, finally some sense..
Then I checked, "oh its kobojunkie".

He wants a slave wife, not house wife.

For the month of August, myself and my friends read a book by buchi Enecheta,titled second class citizen. Shared to me by ishilove(thanks alot) And this man is almost a spitting image of Francis, Adah's husband.

Let him just divide house chore between the two of them so that they can both accomplice something in life.
Sex,children, are phases of life even goats pass through.

Kobojunkie:
You say she has worked for 10 years straight,
does she handle expenses in the household as well or does she simply work and keep for herself Have?

Have you tried Professional counseling to drill down to the core issues in your marriage? All you have listed don't sound like real issues so it continues to seem as though there are other reasons which are not included in your text. This is not to say that your frustrations aren't real, no. You both need to talk and work out issues as adults rather than simply shut each other out. Please try to seek counseling from professionals.... I would not recommend family as they might inject their own biases and further fracture the union where there may be no need for such.

Yes she is actually a teacher in a private school whether she has saving or not I don't know and am sure her children don't know too because I have use style to ask and I don't see any bank transaction on her phone
Yes they are many issues I didn't include because am not a good writer like I said in d beginning
My concern honestly now is just my children I don't want them to grow up heart broken because parents are not together but she doesn't see d implications in all dis matter

Iyaebe:
To all those men wey dy go church to go look for wife hehehehe na still us dy there ooo we just change cloth hehehehe(culled from a video,no be me talk am)

neonly:
1. Yes she is actually a teacher in a private school whether she has saving or not I don't know and am sure her children don't know too because I have use style to ask and I don't see any bank transaction on her phone

2. Yes they are many issues I didn't include because am not a good writer like I said in d beginning

3. My concern honestly now is just my children I don't want them to grow up heart broken because parents are not together but she doesn't see d implications in all dis matter

1. WOW... snooping around to find out what your wife makes.... you both need serious counseling.

2. You most definitely need to seek help for your marriage rather than seek ways to bring it down without first making the effort.

3. Have you considered that It maybe your own frustrations that are causing the discomfort you say your kids are feeling in this?

Please seek professional counseling and when you do, open up , not shout or argue - but open up about everything you feel to your partner so she can know what you are dealing with and how you have been processing all you have been. Then LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN to hear what she has to say too.

If it all goes south still, at least then you know you did all you could and there is no need to be depressed about that.

ufotty2001:
I have a girlfriend all what she think of is how she will collect money from me and career.. !!! She has never ask me how is business? How is life?? How are you managing... All are calls are complain that she need this or that...

she is your girlfriend... you chose her so why are you here complaining about her?

Kobojunkie:
1. WOW... snooping around to find out what your wife makes.... you both need serious counseling.

2. You most definitely need to seek help for your marriage rather than seek ways to bring it down without first making the effort. J

3. Have you considered that It maybe your own frustrations that are causing the discomfort you say your kids are feeling in this?

Please seek professional counseling and when you do, open up , not shout or argue - but open up about everything you feel to your partner so she can know what you are dealing with and how you have been processing all you have been. Then LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN to hear what she has to say too.

If it all goes south still, at least then you know you did all you could and there is no need to be depressed about that.

Any man dat snoops around her wife wan die quickly be dat honestly I don't do dat I don't even have d time
me dat my hands are full both at work and home
I talk have to my people were going to her people place at inyanpaja tommorow dat if u stay in Lagos u will know der
Thks sha I know u are marriage may yur own marriage never turn south like u said earlier

neonly:

No marriage is perfect dis I
know talking to her has become a ritual daily reoccurance
Some are just lucky when it comes to marriage guess u one of them
Just posting dis to know if other people out der are going tru what am going tru at least share opinion like you doing
Thks

Forget the gloss, those who you think are lucky have had to let go of many things to make even their relationships work the way it appears.

Sacrifice whatever you have to, in order to make your marriage work, that seems to be the general rule. I have seen men sacrifice even their ego so they can have a good marriage. A friend of mine does the cooking and cleaning in the house, even parks a lunch box every morning for his kids and wife because he says he is better at it than she is. His family is "tight" for it too.

Marriage is work and there are no roles in marriage at all - forget the meaningless lies folks spew about these things. Anyone who can do it should. Simple!

You PEOPLE are really making me get SCARED OF MARRIAGE...
WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?.. My GIRLFRIEND has been BEHAVING like a MAD WITCH lately WHY? she said I Dont have her time, se make I no hustle ni....

neonly:



Any man dat snoops around her wife wan die quickly be dat honestly I don't do dat I don't even have d time
me dat my hands are full both at work and home
I talk have to my people were going to her people place at inyanpaja tommorow dat if u stay in Lagos u will know der
Thanks sha I know u are marriage may yur own marriage never turn south like u said earlier

Lets try to get to the root of the matter. What are your children's ages? What s your wife's career? What time do you come home from work and what time does she come home from work?

neonly:
Any man dat snoops around her wife wan die quickly be dat honestly I don't do dat I don't even have d time
me dat my hands are full both at work and home
I talk have to my people were going to her people place at inyanpaja tommorow dat if u stay in Lagos u will know der
Thks sha I know u are marriage may yur own marriage never turn south like u said earlier

Life happens to us all oh. Those who come up tops are those who seek wisdom and understanding instead of the easy way out.

Shokoloko:


Lets try to get to the root of the matter. What are your children's ages? What s your wife's career? What time do you come home from work and what time does she come home from work?

From 5yrs to 15yrs
Me am a contractor travelling Na my hubby sometimes I can stay at home for days
Wife is teacher in private school goes to work from 7 till 5 or 6
Saturday say she want to go to event in church most time
Sunday goes to church from 8 till 2 in d afternoon
So u see nothing to hide

inumidun2010:
You PEOPLE are really making me get SCARED OF MARRIAGE...
WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?.. My GIRLFRIEND has been BEHAVING like a MAD WITCH lately WHY? she said I Dont have her time, se make I no hustle ni....

Like I always tell people marriage is not bad once you marry yur freind not lover because with time you can fall out of love from yur lover like me

[quote author=neonly post=106219589][/quote]
She has never Loved you at all.
She just wanted to get married and evade societal shame nothing else.
IF I tell you things I have achieved through marriage you will weep, yet I don't give my wife that space for complacency & laxity.

MALIGNANTGuest:

She has never Loved you at all.
She just wanted to get married and evade societal shame nothing else.
IF I tell you things I have achieved through marriage you will weep, yet I don't give my wife that space for cocomplacency & laxity.

I think u right
Because dis someone dat never apologies if we have issues Na me go beg am make peace reign
Like I said I have calling out love my eyes don open but my children are my major worries

ahnie:
Forget I love you in marriage.marriage is hard,forget being married to your best friend, marriage is hard!hard!!and hard!!!

I think marriage should be scrapped completely coz it's an unending pit....

Isoko amaka, wetin happen na

Davash222:

Isoko amaka, wetin happen na

Davash222 lolz@the isoko AMAKA.
Nothing Sha....just being blunt.

neonly:



I think u right
Because dis someone dat never apologies if we have issues Na me go beg am make peace reign
Like I said I have calling out love my eyes don open but my children are my major worries

Guy relax....una go settle na normal runs.even those cheering you on,theirs is worst than yours.

ahnie:

Davash222 lolz@the isoko AMAKA.
Nothing Sha....just being blunt.

I like your bluntness.
Marriage is just a game orchestrated by women to trap men down.

Davash222:

I like your bluntness.
Marriage is just a game orchestrated by women to trap men down.

U wantu start abi.
Trap men as in how?
Last I checked it's the men that proposes not the women.so how then do women trap men?

Davash you sure say you go marry so?

ahnie:

Guy relax....una go settle na normal runs.even those cheering you on,theirs is worst than yours.

U won't understand am really hurt and depressed
Dat her own thinking too dat Abi they will settle d matter for us
But for how can we continue like dis mind u age is not on our side
Am always emontioal disturb when we have issues cause me I like us playing together yur family suppose yur confider especially yur wife but if you can get it from her again what d use of staying in d relationship
U sef reason am babes

neonly:





From 5yrs to 15yrs
Me am a contractor travelling Na my hubby sometimes I can stay at home for days
Wife is teacher in private school goes to work from 7 till 5 or 6
Saturday say she want to go to event in church most time
Sunday goes to church from 8 till 2 in d afternoon
So u see nothing to hide

You seem very honest. I was expecting you to exaggerate facts but you didn't. Well done.
From what I gather she is home from 3pm in the afternoon and home from 6.30pm daily.

Now, that your first child needs to start helping, he can take over the light chores.

I will let you know that some relationships expire, when the two partners grow in different directions.

Lets explore your feelings when you are not with your spouse for a couple of days:
When you travel for contracting, do you feel your peace return when you are away from her? Are you relaxed when you are away from home. That will give you an idea of what you will feel if you decide to separate.