₦airaland Forum

You still need to have a conversation with her and let her know if things continue that way you would have to involve her people (elders) into the matter... getting a side chick shouldn't be an option deal with the threat in your marriage first.

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

Sorry man! this feeling can kill faster than cancer … pastor aside your wife can do that with even a colleague or anyone. She’s not intelligent.. you may have to do DNA test sooner or later.. report her to her mother or any close relative she holds in high esteem with that she will know you’re serious and she could lose her marriage.. does she even care? Who knows pastor might have promised her marriage sef…
Try and be her friend. She’s a dullard

Call that yeye pastor and warn him and if he didn't change tell him his church members will hear about it,walahi he go stop the non sense then warn ur wife too.

Report her to her mum and find a way of seeing the church elders to caution the pastor and that if he does not stop, he will be exposed.

highchief1:
once woman don born for me Nthg really concern me o.I’m a very dangerous man.if I notice any dirty moves I’ll stop sleeping with her.bro this life na per head.I no get power for many fights.

then you are not strong. Work on becoming a better man. You will have kids and they will grow up. Don't let them see their dad as a weakling that runs from his problems

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

You have spoken well

Two things I'll advise:

1. Tell her family. Obviously she fears her mother knowing and that's why she told you not to tell her.

2. Find a Christian assembly and get your family involved there. That means you yourself will have to know Christ yourself and lead your family in the way of the Lord. As the Christian message reaches her heart, her sinful emotional attachment to that man will end.

A genuine Christian deliverance is what your wife needs.

By the way, that Pastor is a hireling and beware of churches like that.

If you will reach me privately, I can recommend a good church for you in the city where you reside.

All the best.

Where are those that said virgins no dey cheat? OP should just confront her and threaten to end it if there is no change in behavior.

2. Not having sex regularly is another hammer dangling to breaking your home. There is a problem already if couples can count the no of times they have sex in a year

I expect my husband is having an emotional affair thread soon.

Go find his wife and do same to her!

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

truthCoder:
then you are not strong. Work on becoming a better man. You will have kids and they will grow up. Don't let them see their dad as a weakling that runs from his problems

make their father Dey alive for them first.bro bp is a self inflicted ailment.anything when Dey stress me I Dey avoid am.being strong is how u see life.The easiest thgs for me to tell any woman na leave my house.I no get strength for drama.

VBCampaign:
Two things I'll advise:

1. Tell her family. Obviously she fears her mother knowing and that's why she told you not to tell her.

2. Find a Christian assembly and get your family involved there. That means you yourself will have to know Christ yourself and lead your family in the way of the Lord. As the Christian message reaches her heart, her sinful emotional attachment to that man will end.

A genuine Christian deliverance is what your wife needs.

By the way, that Pastor is a hireling and beware of churches like that.

If you will reach me privately, I can recommend a good church for you in the city where you reside.

All the best.

And what church would that be?

I stay in Lagos.

Please say it publicly

It is called holy communion.

Fiscus105:
It's time u stopped her from going to that church. Many animes some pastors do go beyond their boundaries.


Oga , when went back to ur post I fully read all through with clear understanding, I know you are posting it to bash virgin as a bride.

If he really did for the bolded, he must be disappointed because people no even mention it .

BTW, the wife & the devilish Pastor are not in the same State.

Emotional affair kill your wife

There is nothing you can do. Your marriage already is crashing. Your wife is not with you anylonger so prepare yourself. But let me give you an idea, find the address of the pastor and figure out probably when he will be at home tell your wife to follow you on a romantic date and take her to the pastors house while your all together pretend you forgot something in the car and drive off. Your wife will find her way back home and raise hell but Dont reply and Dont mention the issue again. Suspense works better on women just make her unsure of her fate simple. If your lucky she will redress but if your unlucky its bye bye

JustNumb:
Thank you for your response.

The only thing I haven't done in this yoir response is calling the husband. Every other thing, I do it and even more.

Even down to house chores I do them and also do anything to make her happy.

I changed my line of business so I can work from home.

JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible

marry your friend,now your friend has another friend. Marriage na scam

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

I sincerely thunk if the Op goes by these advice, things will get better for you and your wife! However, you need to take the advice about the pastor very seriously and let your wife know what you have done about the pastor. I would also advise that you arm yourself with those messages you saw cos the time to use it as evidence might eventually come!

JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible

Winners pastors are randy....they dont care even if you confront them....they love sex like kilode and ready to take advantage any of their females members.

Winners pastors I fear them o.

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

Women, nothing you do to please them. If you like give dem all the money, good sex and affection in this world, they would still misbehave. They are very complicated. I dont like them for anything except that they have some funny sweet stuff underneath their thighs. Most times, they are very complex to deal with.
In my opinion, she is still gonna have sex with that pastor ( to those simp men that allow their wives to be seeing pastors for counselling, una never know anything)
Just free her and let her go, but discuss with her family first with your evidence.
Then let her go with her miserable life like other fellow naija women. Bros let me tell you, emotional affair is very strong, if she is still with you in that home of yours, she wont give you peace of mind. LET HER GO!!!!

All this endtime pastors Sha

skydancer:
I think you have to try and understand her better, you would know better than anyone why she chose to marry you, did you get busy with work afterwards and start catering only for financial needs? If you already provide enough affection, I think it wouldn't be as bad and then from there it can stop.

I no go lie this your comment really vexed me. No matter what he did that those not give her the right to have emotional affairs because she's a married woman. Please stop justifying and giving excuses for nonsense. Which one come be did you get busy with work afterwards and start catering only for financial needs?

Build bond with your woman.

Build communication.

Be more than a husband, be her best friend.


If after you do you best and she cheats on you, divorce.

Some pastors tho. Always being religiously devilish.

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

Best advice
Or you simply divorce her
If the pastor is better for her, then she should go to him
There are so many accomplished women, besides being a single dad can be so much fun, every woman is pitiful of you and you can have your best pick

This is totally wrong....

With the look of things, your wife and this pastor must have been lovers before she met you, one thing might lead to the other that made them break up.. they got to meet after some years and probably the feelings came back but they’re both married...
I guessed that though....

Sit your wife down and tell her how her affair with the pastor is threatening your peace... Give her some time to withdraw probably a week and warn her never to talk with that shameless pastor

If she fails to listen, then you can involve her family

One of the best advice. Follow this advise and you will see changes. You don't need to call the pastor's wife. Call the pastor himself and warn him to stop being your wife pastor or whatever name they refer to him. Tell him that any time he even send ordinary God bless you to your wife that thunder go fire him( as most of the are scammer).
I don't want any pastor around my wife ooo. The day one pastor visited my wife, I warned her that I don't want to see any pastor around my house ooo. The bible says we have one solicitor, Jesus Chris is our means of getting to God and not any pastor.

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible

Don’t tell your family members including hers about it. Try to manage this within your home by having a hard conversation with her. Let her know the consequences of her continued affair with this pastor.
Many people fall into the same pattern until something drastic happens. You should have a plan Incase she calls your bluff or is too into the affair to care.
My plan would look like:
1. Have a heart to heart conversation about the issue including the consequences namely an end to your marriage and how it will affect the children.
2. Don’t contact the pastor, you have no issue with him. The problem is with your wife.
3. Try to spend more time with your wife outside the home. Take her places and build memories together.
4. If all else fails, then I would suggest you inform her mother first, also mentioning what you plan to do if she continues.
5. Demand a full apology from her and a commitment to end all forms of communication with the man. You also need to look at the scripture where it’s written that no man should come between a man and wife.
6. Try to initiate prayers in your home cos it seems your wife is the spiritual type and maybe you’re lagging in that aspect. Hence her continuous search for a spiritual leader.
7. There’s every possibility your wife is not romantically invested in that relationship. Just maybe she’s not exactly finding fulfillment in yours especially with regards to my previous comment of spiritual leadership. Many Nigerian women are like that.

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

Sîmp move

So you'll keep mum until they connive and harm you abi?
You don't realize this Pastor would want to move to higher rank, knowing you are aware of his secret, would take you off this Earth just look clean

IFSHR:
Hey brother..

1. Focus on you wife, you are the husband here and she belongs to you...take that phone from her and block the hell of a pastor (don't trust all those pastors sometimes they go beyond the Christian power).

2. Give her a strict last warning that the next time you see her chat with the man of satan, you will be forced to take a drastic decision that might end your marriage with her (ensure you munch her chats and have it sent to your own phone) . If she truly still loves you and care she will put a stop to it.

3. Get the man of satan number and give him a strict warning, that the next time her message pop up on you wives phone that he should be ready to eat the fruit of labour of those that gets fun from flirting with other people's wives.

4. Go online and get winners direct email, create a a mail and forward them the chats of the man of satan with you now ex wife because after blocking her if she still have the nerve to unblock him and they continue their flirting, she is not then worthy to be called a wife

5. It's high time you realise that the most important person to you, are you kids, plus your wife of course, but if she chooses to remove herself from the list, that's her own headache, not yours.

6. Forget all those my wife no like sex, na lie
...its either she doesn't find you enough attractive or you too motionless yourself during the act.....learn new tricks to spark up your sexual life ...make her crave for you without asking for it....text her dirty before the act, good pre-intimacy before the act, don't just always go straight to the point.

7. Be man, take charge, don't let any two people kill your joy...

Too many weak and simp moves from men trying to roar like a lion.



This here is a simp move

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

Please seat your wife down and tell her all you told us in this write up in details.

Let her know what impression you are getting about the whole thing and how you feel threatened by it.

If it still persist get the phone number of the Pastors wife and tell her wife the whole story. Tell her to tell her husband to keep away from

your wife.

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

Man wey Sabi