₦airaland Forum

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

KiNg0G:
Sîmp move

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

drealaz24:
This is how irresponsible people think, never taking responsibility for their actions.

eguarojeona:
I like this.Are you single?I am.

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

richmond500:
Oga, are they having sexual affair or not? Don't coman confuse ppl.

Which one is emotional affair?

chris51:
Please do not have a side chick, it will do more harm than.

My advice is for you to tell the mother.
Tell your wife that you would report the matter to the pastor's wife, but do not tell the pastor's wife yet, unless she doesn't change. I bet you, this will put the fear of God into your wife.

What business does a married have a her pastor for them to be having regular communication?

Good luck.

truthCoder:
lol...i like that

Xixtie:
One lazy moderator is somewhere creating very useless and disjointed stories to keep the frontpage lit and to earn his pay.
Awon werey

EXLOVER:
Some years ago, my then girlfriend called me that she's traveling from the state she's working just to spend her birthday with me, i was so surprised, this girl that is stingy will spend such amount for transportation just to come and enjoy her birthday with me and called some dick_tation? The day she came, she was supposed to sleep in my house that night, called her several times, but she didn't take her call, then she came the next day (her birthday), we had sex till the next morning, i looked her locked pattern, i opened the phone when she's not around, i noticed one of her pastor paid for her transport down to my current state, she spend the previous night servicing him, but he doesn't want to pay for the servicing fee, because he thought the money she gave her for transport covered everything, this pastor is married with a pregnant wife o.


Pastors are very manipulative with their words, most ladies will open legs for their pastors cause they believe so much in them and respect them a lot. That's why i don't believe any word coming out from the mouth of those men, they don't practice what they preach, they only know how to convince people with words


So youngman, is left for you to decide what to do with your woman, if her pastor preek is giving her joy and happiness, I'm sorry bros, even your prayers or words can't stop her from collecting his preek. Just focus on your life and the way forward.


The Bible said and i quote "if your hand is making you to sin cut it off", as for me i value my peace of mind more than any fvcking thing, i don't mind if we have been married for years or months, if you as a wife disturb my mental health, i will leave the house for you and your fvcking sef. I value my sanity more than anything.



So oga, find a way to sought out yourself, the day you die, you die alone, life is too short for someone to be making you sad in this short time you have on eat.


Enjoy yourself. #Gratitude sir

JustNumb:
I don't have her number. I would have called her to be sure she knows what her husband is doing.

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

Niorte:
How did you know she is having an emotional affair?

What is the implicating message on their chats

You kind of feel insecure....otherwise, why should a pastor talking about his marital problem be construed as a marital affair.
Sometimes, you tell your challenges to help others feel they are not the only one facing such challenge.

Be meticulous about it before concluding it is an emotional affair.

Confronting the pastor may not be the best option. seek wisdom.

Captaincool1:
Na so i leave my wife ooo. Though I didn't caught her cheating but man I left me I no like wahala. I run away right now I don Japa no body knows.

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

JustNumb:
I don't have her number. I would have called her to be sure she knows what her husband is doing.

johnsmhelia15:
I no go lie this your comment really vexed me. No matter what he did that those not give her the right to have emotional affairs because she's a married woman. Please stop justifying and giving excuses for nonsense. Which one come be did you get busy with work afterwards and start catering only for financial needs?

Xixtie:
One lazy moderator is somewhere creating very useless and disjointed stories to keep the frontpage lit and to earn his pay.
Awon werey

eguarojeona:
Lol,good morning.I Love the way you broke things down.Made sense.But in things like these,its not always clear cut.I pray they sort things out.It hurts.

Back to us,i am trying to shoot my shot.I love smart people.And you are.