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My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by BRATISLAVA: 10:03am On Oct 06, 2021
SweetDipBenny:
what are u waitin for huh pick up ur phone and call that pastor. Tell him to stay d fvck away from ur wife.
And you think such a slimy bastard will agree that he's doing such?

Fear people who call themselves pastors
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by house10s: 10:03am On Oct 06, 2021
JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief wink
screen shot d chats n send to d useless pastors wife.

best u start destroying his b4 he finishes urs.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by emmyileri(m): 10:03am On Oct 06, 2021
You are making a mistake sir, CALL THE SO CALL PASTOR AND TALK MAN TO MAN.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Rebic(m): 10:04am On Oct 06, 2021
truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back
This advice is golden.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by fuke(m): 10:04am On Oct 06, 2021
DaddyRochie1642:
If he does that, the yeye pastor will place some Heavenly curses on his head grin
Which curse?
The pastor who flirts with another mans wife has no curse in his mouth
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by jaxxy(m):
JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief wink
U see u have to know how to address issues head on, critically and with the level of seriousness they deserve depending on the situation. Yes let something’s slide bt don’t let things slide unnecessarily. Deal with certain things and see them to a proper conclusion where necessary and and as quick as possible.

Allowing certain things to fester or linger creates added problems than cutting it off immediately or dealing with that situation properly in a civil manner.

U have to different problems highlighted and possibly not associated to each other.

1. A poor sexual relationship
2. An intrusive and inappropriate pastor
And I will add a 3rd problem I see based on problem 2.
3. Poor communication and connection.


Address these issues distinctly and individually.

1.Ur poor sex life started when b4 marriage? After the babies came? Or after a particular event in ur marriage? Eg the pastors interference or Smtn else

Do u know even without a pastors interference many couples sex life is poor for different reasons? Check that b4 u blame any pastor.

There are many ways to correct and improve sex life.

2. In the pastors issue, be a man and have a civil talk with him on what his role is in ur wife life. How can a stranger pastor or not be having a close conversation with ur wife and u don’t know him or can’t have a civil discussion with him? Since she feels it’s a harmless relationship or even purely Godly and spiritual relationship? It’s important to know ur wife’s pastor I think. Since u don’t have same pastors as it should be. Then u can better know how to address the issues for what it is fairly.

3. Ur wife seems to need a friend and didn’t find it in u so looked for it in her pastor who should rather be giving spiritual counseling than anything else. Try to work on ur relationship and communication and connection with ur wife. It goes beyond providing.

Best of luck. Cheers
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Facefront1(m): 10:07am On Oct 06, 2021
This is what you will do...collect your wife phone....pretend as if it's your wife that's chatting him...to find out what the pastor really want
Then use the chat evidence, show your in-law the chat, then confront the pastor in the presence of his wife with the chat and stop your wife from going to the church and warn the pastor that if you notice or ever see him with your again that you will get him arrested.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Nobody: 10:07am On Oct 06, 2021
Longsleeve:
Collect the wife's number and start flirting with her..
you go sabi maths well well oo, see as you define cross multiplication like say e nor hard
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by SenatorAiyzik: 10:10am On Oct 06, 2021
My brother go and give testimony in the guy’s church and say what it is
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Akanoaaa(m): 10:11am On Oct 06, 2021
truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back
God bless you for this.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by JustcallmeFavou(f): 10:12am On Oct 06, 2021
JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief wink
I am so sorry about what you are going through at the moment.

Well, I will suggest that you talk to her mum about it, then her oldest siling if she isn't the eldest. If nothing changes, you have to use an iron hand with her. You need to ask her to choose between you, the marriage, and the pastor. If she truly loves you, and values what you guys share, she will adjust.

As for the pastor, I don't think he is really to be blamed here. Because it's only when a woman gives a man an inch, whom she is not connected to in any way. That is the only way he will have, the audacity to do, and say rubbish. If she is stern and very formal with him, he will back down from her totally.

As for the sexual part, you need to watch out for what she likes. Perhaps, she likes it slow and steady. She might like more pre-intimacy than penetration. Hence, don't be a selfish husband, satisfy her as much as you also want to satisfy yourself.

Above all, go down on your knees and talk to God about what's going on in your marriage. Side chick won't help you, they will only destroy you, and your home gradually.

I hope you find a way out of this, I wish you all the best.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by emiloluwa(m): 10:12am On Oct 06, 2021
Bro, if u ve a good evidence & fact u need to disgrace d foolish man in front of d congregation wahali & u ve to b very careful if nt them go both plan ur end
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by WibusJaga: 10:12am On Oct 06, 2021
truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back
You finish work Abeg.
Good to see one can still get quality advice on NL.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Ofadaman(m): 10:12am On Oct 06, 2021
A
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by FemmyOlu77: 10:12am On Oct 06, 2021
FVckbubuDcow:
You still dey call that evil man pastor?



Bro magun na #100 for Ijumu Kogi state
Off that mic
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by na2016: 10:12am On Oct 06, 2021
JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible
One of the things you should have done or could still do is to report her to the mom and dad or someone she respects. Also, if you have evidence of the chat, report it to the state pastor os the winners chapel. I dont know what some of thier pastors are turning into.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Nobody: 10:13am On Oct 06, 2021
purples25:
Yes, its possible, especially a new virgin.
When it's not done right or they have some form of disease that makes it always painful.. Apart from that sex is sweet for everyone M and F
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by lilvicky68(m): 10:13am On Oct 06, 2021
Pastors has turned themselves to marriage counselors and psychologists..
I'm not surprised..
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Baba40(f): 10:13am On Oct 06, 2021
JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief wink
Most married women are in this boat, including my wife. Some even have emotional affairs with 2 or 3 different married men.

Just ignore and make more money
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Crunchyg3: 10:13am On Oct 06, 2021
JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief wink
It's simple, just pick up your phone and call the pastor, tell him you are not comfortable with the thing going on between him and your wife. That it's affecting your family and if he doesn't desist from it. You will take action that might not be favourable to him. You will see how he will free your woman.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by sylve11: 10:13am On Oct 06, 2021
DaddyRochie1642:
If he does that, the yeye pastor will place some Heavenly curses on his head grin
Hehehe grin cool
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Scamburster(m): 10:14am On Oct 06, 2021
EXLOVER:
Some years ago, my then girlfriend called me that she's traveling from the state she's working just to spend her birthday with me, i was so surprised, this girl that is stingy will spend such amount for transportation just to come and enjoy her birthday with me and called some dick_tation? The day she came, she was supposed to sleep in my house that night, called her several times, but she didn't take her call, then she came the next day (her birthday), we had sex till the next morning, i looked her locked pattern, i opened the phone when she's not around, i noticed one of her pastor paid for her transport down to my current state, she spend the previous night servicing him, but he doesn't want to pay for the servicing fee, because he thought the money she gave her for transport covered everything, this pastor is married with a pregnant wife o.


Pastors are very manipulative with their words, most ladies will open legs for their pastors cause they believe so much in them and respect them a lot. That's why i don't believe any word coming out from the mouth of those men, they don't practice what they preach, they only know how to convince people with words


So youngman, is left for you to decide what to do with your woman, if her pastor preek is giving her joy and happiness, I'm sorry bros, even your prayers or words can't stop her from collecting his preek. Just focus on your life and the way forward.


The Bible said and i quote "if your hand is making you to sin cut it off", as for me i value my peace of mind more than any fvcking thing, i don't mind if we have been married for years or months, if you as a wife disturb my mental health, i will leave the house for you and your fvcking sef. I value my sanity more than anything.



So oga, find a way to sought out yourself, the day you die, you die alone, life is too short for someone to be making you sad in this short time you have on eat.


Enjoy yourself. #Gratitude sir
Dig yesterday and the day of her birthday with different dk? Are they not tired.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by techWriter3: 10:14am On Oct 06, 2021
retrieve the wife's proportion and began dredging with her..
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Missionaire: 10:14am On Oct 06, 2021
Which one is you asking if he is the type of husband that the wife can approach on petty matters?
Didn't they date before marriage? Was she forced to marry him?
So if the guy is not the type of husband the wife can approach on petty matters, did she complain? Why should the pastor be telling her to clear her chats?
It is obvious that the lady already had a strong emotional connection with the pastor before marrying the guy and until that pastor dies or is dragged out on social media and sacked, that marriage WILL NEVER enjoy peace no matter the positive efforts the OP makes.
To the lady, the Pastor is a god to be worshipped and adored. The husband is just there to fill in the gap of being a husband.
I pity people who marry religious ladies. Ladies who call their pastors "daddy".
Maybe na the pastor even wed them sef.

OP, I be Living Faith Member, get the pastor name, get his pictures from his social media account and keep.
First go to the regional HQ, I don't know the state. Goshen here close to Abuja is the northern regional HQ.
Go there and report and tell them if no action is taken, you will go online.
If nothing is done, drag the man with his picture on social media and send that woman back to her people.
Your peace of mind is more important than anything.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by KaptainAfrika: 10:14am On Oct 06, 2021
1. Change your church.
2. Give your wife an ultimatum - stop the chats or else...
3. Warn that imposter parading himself as a Pastor.
4. Inform and warn his wife.
5. After doing 1-4, spend sometime with your wife, reignite the fire and talk to her.

No matter what you do, don't lose the moral high ground, everyone came into this world by themselves, and will leave by themselves and answer to God by themselves.

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief wink
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Nobody: 10:15am On Oct 06, 2021
JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief wink
young men should be wary of women who literally worship "daddies in the Lord". Sometimes it can be a breeding ground for an affair
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Mekas2016(m): 10:15am On Oct 06, 2021
Excellent
truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by sylve11: 10:15am On Oct 06, 2021
benuejosh:
The biggest mistake as a man is marrying a woman that wasn't meant for you. I pray heals your home. That is the best we can do for you.

As for me, I don't put mouth into people's marital affairs because ecause at the end of it all, we all have our different battles. We can only pray God to heal your home, give you wisdom to handle your problems and also give you peace.

Pray, pray, pray and pray without ceasing.
Well said. cool
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by gabicon: 10:16am On Oct 06, 2021
JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief wink
Get professional help quickly, the longer you wait the stronger the bond, they are already fantasizing about how great sex will be with each other, the day the pastor visits your city, the deed will be done, and trust me that day is coming. Go online and contact Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo or his wife and set up an appointment, they deal with issues like this. Do it quickly.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by eguarojeona: 10:18am On Oct 06, 2021
truthCoder:
Thanks for the compliment.

I am open only to a confidential sexual, no-strings attached relationship with a female.
Ok, you are female?
It was worth the try.
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by Watty26: 10:19am On Oct 06, 2021
truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back
.
Honestly u said mind
Please be bold to call the " pastor" to let him know u aware of the whole show.
If possible copy some of the conversations from your wife's phone and send it to him.
To your wife, please get the Mum or any of her siblings informed about her relationship with the pastor and how u are dying in silent. Is better to guide your family
Re: My Wife Is Having An Emotional Affair With Her Pastor by sylve11: 10:20am On Oct 06, 2021
I won't judge these pastors/friars but the experience I had with one through my then girlfriend wasn't pleasant.

@op, you have seen what you wanted to see, so make the choice. cool
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