₦airaland Forum

She's more open and free with her pastor, it suits the kind of man she wants, she's beginning to doubt her choice in marriage. It won't be long before they begin to have sex (if they haven't already).
The more you struggle to break the bond between them the worse it gets cause she'd go under code level to continue in her ways. The only reason she may have not eloped with him is the cause he's married too.

The major part of their conversation would be about how they both made wrong choices in marriage and all your undoing would be discussed in full details with the pastor.

Solution.

Be the man,

Which one is you asking if he is the type of husband that the wife can approach on petty matters?
Didn't they date before marriage? Was she forced to marry him?
So if the guy is not the type of husband the wife can approach on petty matters, did she complain? Why should the pastor be telling her to clear her chats?
It is obvious that the lady already had a strong emotional connection with the pastor before marrying the guy and until that pastor dies or is dragged out on social media and sacked, that marriage WILL NEVER enjoy peace no matter the positive efforts the OP makes.
To the lady, the Pastor is a god to be worshipped and adored. The OP is just there to fill in the gap of being a husband.
I pity people who marry religious ladies. Ladies who call their pastors "daddy".
Maybe na the pastor even wed them sef.

@JustNumb, get the pastor name, get his pictures from his social media account and keep.
First go to the regional HQ, I don't know the state. Goshen here close to Abuja is the northern regional HQ.
Go there and report and tell them if no action is taken, you will go online.
If nothing is done, drag the man with his picture on social media and send that woman back to her people. Go and do DNA test for your children especially the second born if you have more than one. If possible do for all sef.
Your peace of mind and mental health is more important than anything.

JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible

Young man, there's no cause for alarm. She isn't cheating on you rather her upbringing and adolescent wasn't all that developed.

Don't listen to many inexperience and failures in marriages here giving you unworkable solutions.

Listen, if you don't sleep on the same bed regularly, start now. Give her a romantic massaging for half of the nights throughout a week period without asking for penetration. She will eventually demand it.

Discuss your business with her and ask her for advice even when she has none.

Discuss your day with her and ask her what's up in her business or daily duties.

Make her your best friend "again".

She needs companionship and it seems she's not getting it with and from you.


Best of lucks as you try my suggestions.

eguarojeona:
Ok, you are female?
It was worth the try.

i am male

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

Dont get a side chick, simply have a honest discussion with her. Also bear in mind that jealousy may be part of your problem. You do not like men talking to your wife.

Broda go d state, attend the pastor first service make u run ur testimony ka church gbasa sharp sharp... Onye mmebie uwa oqwua chukwu ugwooya. Kpomkwe

truthCoder:
i am male

Ohh, i thought you were "female"

JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible

Report him to the G.O of the church.

See life. Virgin or not, girl wey go Bleep up go Bleep up abeg.

I'd advise you read "The rationale male" authored by Rollo Tomassi.

You can't negotiate genuine desire. It is obvious your wife genuinely desires the pastor at issue, and you can't force her to stop desiring him.
Reporting her to her family or a deliverance session doesn't make her stop desiring the said pastor. This is an emotional problem, the solution has to be an emotional one too. It ain't a spiritual problem, neither is it a problem you solve with force.

The solution is not a moralistic one, it is dark. Do not pay attention to her, focus on yourself.
Mirror her actions, get yourself a lady more beautiful than your wife. Do not get this lady cos you want to make your wife jealous,
get her cos you want someone who doesn't make you get jealous about your wife's shenanigans. But the danger is that you might end up preferring this lady to your wife.

In time your wife will notice changes in your behavior, and she would do anything to get you back, but you might not really be all that interested in whatever she has to say.

I'd also advise you get a job that keeps you away from home; stop working from home. It seems you are too available to her.

JustNumb:
And what church would that be?

I stay in Lagos.

Please say it publicly

So much as marrying a virgin

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

Absolute waste of time.

He will do all this and the lady will still fvckk the pastor whenever they meet

Like you said wife married OP for financial stability and security. Nothing OP does will change that mindset.

Reminder to guys. If what you're bringing to table of any relationship is finance or 'Provider figure' you're setting yourself up for distraught.

She will use you to train her kids and take care of herself while physically and emotional lusting over another man.
Most will act on this lust and in the case of OP the only thing saving him is distance.

JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible

Many pple are not lucky with somethings in this life and they can not help it, eg
Long life
House
Money
Good health
Marriage
Children , etc
Put in a good fight but don’t come and kill your self bro…
Know when to give up
Some battles are never won
Peace!!

Don't be a simp... be odogwu... have emotional affairs with her pastor's wife or mother

Don't be a simp... be odogwu... have emotional affairs with her pastor's wife or ur mother inlaw

Lollittaa:
young men should be wary of women who literally worship "daddies in the Lord". Sometimes it can be a breeding ground for an affair

Most times it's the man trying to control her with his Bible so that he can get free sex. They pretend the woman needs prayers, etc, only so that they can get close enough to strike. Pastors are some of the most disgusting people on the planet.

Start a sexual affair with the pastor's wife,if possible get her pregnant

Indeed this life is not balance


Spherical in shape., think about it

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

This is super.

Start an affair with the pastor's wife,if possible get her pregnant

JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible

Find out the state and get all your evidence printed and report to the state pastor.. I'll write this petition for you for free and copy WMA (cos he might be a high ranking pastor in that state) which is in charge of all mission stations outside Lagos. Believe you that guy will lose his job l.

truthCoder:
hnmmm.

first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.

lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.

your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.

This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.

Here is what you should do.

First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner...teach her...Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww....For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.

Take the pastor's phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ's husband. Don't allow him to 'pastorize' you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn't stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.

Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.

You will win her back

Red flag.

This must be the accused- pastor providing a solution.[b][/b]

JustNumb:
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?


My family members don't know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.

Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn't marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?

I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible

]
Change her Phone No and confiscate the one her pastor has.

Longsleeve:
Collect the wife's number and start flirting with her..

odogwu ibem come and collect 1 chilled larger beer ... nah same thing I talk... flirt with his wife or daughter

iykololo:
Red flag.

This must be the accused- pastor providing a solution.[b][/b]

I am the pastor. Shey make i send aza so u fit drop tithes?

i dey collect in BTC and ETH....

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

Call the Pastor and tell him to stop contacting your wife through any medium and if it’s very pressing he should go through you, don’t wait for his reply, just drop the call immediately. My husband did that to a pastor that was always calling me, I felt it was totally harmless until my husband drew my attention to the fact that the calls were too much and he could be nursing a feeling for me. He called the pastor and politely told him to stop contacting me and it ended since then.

JustNumb:
Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

They are "sexting" (more intimate chats than texting)

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair

She will eventually start the latter part with him.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex

She has emotionally detached from you

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Yet you decided to marry a virgin? See why I tell men that marrying a virgin does not and will never guarantee that she will remain faithful.

How do I report a winners chapel pastor?

Oh...so he's even a winners chapel pastor? Those chronic womanizers! If you want something out of it, take your evidence(s) and ensure it gets to the top like Oyedepo or Abioye sees it.

BarrElChapo:
Find out the state and get all your evidence printed and report to the state pastor.. I'll write this petition for you for free and copy WMA (cos he might be a high ranking pastor in that state) which is in charge of all mission stations outside Lagos. Believe you that guy will lose his job l.

What I have is his full name, phone numbers and picture.

IFSHR:
Hey brother..

1. Focus on you wife, you are the husband here and she belongs to you...take that phone from her and block the hell of a pastor (don't trust all those pastors sometimes they go beyond the Christian power).

2. Give her a strict last warning that the next time you see her chat with the man of satan, you will be forced to take a drastic decision that might end your marriage with her (ensure you munch her chats and have it sent to your own phone) . If she truly still loves you and care she will put a stop to it.

3. Get the man of satan number and give him a strict warning, that the next time her message pop up on you wives phone that he should be ready to eat the fruit of labour of those that gets fun from flirting with other people's wives.

4. Go online and get winners direct email, create a a mail and forward them the chats of the man of satan with you now ex wife because after blocking her if she still have the nerve to unblock him and they continue their flirting, she is not then worthy to be called a wife

5. It's high time you realise that the most important person to you, are you kids, plus your wife of course, but if she chooses to remove herself from the list, that's her own headache, not yours.

6. Forget all those my wife no like sex, na lie
...its either she doesn't find you enough attractive or you too motionless yourself during the act.....learn new tricks to spark up your sexual life ...make her crave for you without asking for it....text her dirty before the act, good pre-intimacy before the act, don't just always go straight to the point.

7. Be man, take charge, don't let any two people kill your joy...

Listen to this guy

JustNumb:
I don't have her number. I would have called her to be sure she knows what her husband is doing.

Please don't stoop that low too. Call your wife and sit her down and let her know the consequences of her past, immediate, and future actions. Let her know for a fact that you will involve her family member - the last resort anyway - if she wouldn't listen or if you hear anything again about this matter.

You also need to be a man too, some of our wives will do everything possible to avoid having sex but the truth be told, this is one of the means by which we create strong bonds and intimacy. Just work on that area. It is well with your household boss.

Go burn the church.

JustNumb:
Hey guys I'll just be brief.

Straight to the point.

My wife is having an emotional affair.

Whats making it worse?

It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.

Now they're both in different states.

How did I know?

I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.

All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.

The only thing remaining is the sexual part.

We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.

But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.

When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).

Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.

Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.

Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.

I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.

We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.

But me I'm a man with sexual needs.

Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.


Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.

Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.

Guys come to my aid.

Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.

Sorry wasn't brief

JustNumb:
What I have is his full name, phone numbers and picture.

His picture or pictures of their chats ?