₦airaland Forum

toujurs:
Any lady at 35 and still unmarried bro k leg dey there, it is either she is too picky with nothing to offer, or too lazy, or stingy and selfish. Or too demanding.

kkins25:
what is it supposed to be before? what you describe here is not marriage but mating.

Raalsalghul:
It's only those oblivious of the truth that'll cry and wail: the enlightened ones will shrug it off and move on.

JerryBizz:
You'll get the bolded when you eventually find your husband. Or he finds you.

annyz:
My brother!
These days wayward girls marry better and rich husbands while those keeping themselves reserved stay and do chief bridesmaids.
This life no balance at all nowadays.

brainhack:
I actually do. There are things initially outside your control, the status of the family you’re born into, your nationality, opportunity for education, your physique etc. These factors tend to predetermined one’s fate.

However every human possess extraordinary power to change their fate. No matter what hand fate deals, the writing is still yours.

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

siofra:
Love is not the infatuation or obsession you see in most movies. It's not tingly neither is it jittery. Love is kind, calm, patient and gentle.

pocohantas:
Men do not benefit from marriage.
Men say marriage is prison to them.

I am no jailer. Follow alata.

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]It's the other way round. Men are the ones begging women for marriage. Some now prostrate to propose.

lalasticlala seun mynd44 Dominique justwise rule 2.

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

pocohantas:
Okay. We are on the same page then.



In a nutshell, you allude to the fact that men should labour to provide premium housing for evening newspapers. I like realistic men.

Eriokanmi:
Keep low and you'd get who/what you want.

How many guys want to marry into one room apartment with a separate kitchen ? How many gals want to endure with a few men who wish to marry into a room apartment with the description above? Everyone is just chasing shadows. Men too are busy craving a lifestyle which is often a mirage, before they think of getting married.

In my case, once God approved of our union with proofs even from more than one man of God who barely knew each other, we proceeded. I married my wife into a room with a separate kitchen outside. Once it rained in those days , we'd be busy diverting erosion away from the kitchen.

Today, we've achieved everything man has come to earth to achieve. I've dined with world leaders including Barak Obama on a special invitation to Washington DC. As I type this message, I'm inspecting my new edifice in lagos (the best in the whole estate). God has also blessed us with intelligent and God-fearing children all in a boarding secondary school in one of the best schools in Lagos.

My salary was 11k while my wife's was almost same when we got married. Barely a year after we got married, I began to change jobs like clothes and always with official cars, brand new to cap it all.

Money isn't everything when it comes to marriage too otherwise, DJ Cuppy wouldn't have been looking upandan for blind dates. It's God's institution. Try it and see things fall in pleasant places for you. Pray for your own and it would come, don't look at that pocket before you take a decision on this.

valves:
You need to understand intersexual dynamics. ladies (and guys too) have a timeline, but most are oblivious of it until much later in life when it's almost too late.

Ladies are at their peak period when they are between ages 18-24 (for some it extends to 26). At this stage they are approached by all kinds of guys, obviously because they are young and beautiful, but this attention they get makes them to feel like they are on top of the world, like goddesses and gifts to humanity. Among those approaching at this stage are people who genuinely want to settle with them for life, but they are not ready to forgo all the attention they are getting from the other guys. They basically want to explore and date different people.

When they approach ages btw 28-34 they realise that they are no longer as attractive as they used to be and are not getting the attention of guys as before (this is the epiphany stage). Then they become desperate to settle down but most guys/suitors have already gotten married or switched their attention to much younger ladies. So the top guys they were interested in during their peak period are no longer available to them. Most ladies at this stage will still adamantly refuse to lower their standards and settle for someone who isn't (in their minds) "up to their (unrealistic) standards", and they keep aging while waiting for "Mr Perfect."

For guys the story is different. Guys peak around 32-36 years. At this age they have worked very hard and made money, are financially independent and ready to settle. But most of them will settle for ladies who are younger (ladies in their 20s), only a handful will go for ladies in their 30s.

Also, our generation is losing it. Some ladies find it hard to keep a man because they do not know their roles as women. They have consciously or unconsciously become hard-core feminist. Reality is most men don't want to settle with such ladies.

Summary is no lady will truthfully say that guys (well-intentioned guys) never approached them in their twenties (peak period). But they are on top of the world at this stage and belive they have all the time in the world and can attract anyone just because they are young and beautiful.

If you are a lady in your 20s (especially mid 20s) pls while you are getting all the attention from guys try and identify a potential suitor to settle down with. The older you get the more difficult it becomes.

ufotty2001:
tell me one benefit a man will get from marriage that he can't get outside marriage.

JerryBizz:
Hey...don't do that!!! I see what you're doing there underneath that shell. Stop beating yourself up! Calling yourself evening newspaper et all. You've allowed Nairaland tags to become a part of you. Anyways, suite yourself.

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]It's the other way round. Men are the ones begging women for marriage. Some now prostrate to propose.

siofra:
I think it's love. People place too much value on finding romantic love. The media has set ridiculous standards for love. Everyone wants to experience that feeling of being in love (romantic love)

Some are not even ready to commit themselves and sacrifice. They just want people to love them. After all with the way media has shown it (thanks to romantic movies, novels and reality shows) it has to be a sweet, wonderful feeling.

pocohantas:
At a point you become a part of the landscape. You give honour to whom it is due and go your way.

SmartGadgetz:
I pray the universe be gentle and kind to you.
Are you gentle? Be honest.

pocohantas:
My point exactly. How about you tell me men’s obsession with single women, given that they benefit nothing when these women marry.



Incoherent.

AutoChick4U:
When fate has written you'll marry in your 30s or 40s, no matter how you push in your 20s things won't fall in place. You push much, u may regret. Everyone got an appointed time.

siofra:
Love is not the infatuation or obsession you see in most movies. It's not tingly neither is it jittery. Love is kind, calm, patient and gentle.

AutoChick4U:
When fate has written you'll marry in your 30s or 40s, no matter how you push in your 20s things won't fall in place. You push much, u may regret. Everyone got an appointed time.

Kajaard:
Men are the ones begging women for marriage? Lol

But you keep posting here everyday with the exact words: Lord when will it be my turn , whenever you see pre- wedding pictures.

Does this mean there is no man begging you for marriage yet or no man finds you attractive enough or all men run away from you because of your toxic character, and hence your hatred for all men?

Questions, questions, questions

isaiah4life:
Marriage is overrated.

sageb:
You and Ufotty2001 no dey agree at all
I remember your previous post in Ufotty2001 thread
" shebi 4 years ago you were observing a minute silence for single ladies here. You are not buoyant enough to hook a smallie,....you are not shy, you are broke...." Pocohantas

FutureIsFemale:
Can you show me where I posted that?

pocohantas:
My point exactly. How about you tell me men’s obsession with single women, given that they benefit nothing when these women marry.



Incoherent.

Kajaard:
Just some below

But can I ask you a question? Why do you hate all men? I hope you know no two people are the same? Just the same way we have good and bad women, same way it is with men. You need to calm down in your posts. Cheers