I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

Marriage is overrated.

isaiah4life:
Marriage is overrated.

I disagree, marriage is not overatted, it has always been the building block that held our community together

Mynd44, lalasticlala front page please

Marriage was not meant for everyone

Modified: some kids quoting me smh! What do y'all know about marriage?
Lets face reality, I've seen a couple of good looking (both inside and outside) matured men and women still single.

It's good to be married tho,but shit wasn't meant for everyone.

SmellySperm:
Marriage was not meant for everyone

likewise money, children, heaven and good things. People who see marriage as an achievement should be left alone

Here to read comments

isaiah4life:
Marriage is overrated.

I think it's love. People place too much value on finding romantic love. The media has set ridiculous standards for love. Everyone wants to experience that feeling of being in love (romantic love)

Some are not even ready to commit themselves and sacrifice. They just want people to love them. After all with the way media has shown it (thanks to romantic movies, novels and reality shows) it has to be a sweet, wonderful feeling.

Holly Gram Just make MONEY 4 dis life. if u no make MONEY, Na EXPRESS u de Go.... WTF MAN

Who perfect one help

Its not easy to be honest, the number of willing men is relatively small compared to desperate ladies, however most of the willing ones have no source of livelihood, and you expect them to take up another responsibility?


If you eventually got married to a good man who can at least provide for the family then you are amongst the very lucky few

Ok

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

Yenyenyen! They ignored guys in their prime. But when your gf breaks up with you to marry a ready man, you will come crying on Nairaland.

Some of you here have been dating your gfs for years without marriage. If they leave you now, another wailing go start.

You marry early? All Naija women want is marriage. They don’t build themselves.

You say make you stand before marriage? Double wahala. Evening newspaper, borehole pussy. Edede! Who go marry this one?

Abeg make una getaut!

Brightw278:
you have made absolutely no point and you are derailing already, how is girls leaving thier boyfriend to get married to already made men come into play here.

If you don’t gerrit,

Fogerrit.

[s]

Brightw278:
I was discussing with a friend of mine during one of his visits this past weekend, we talked about politics, football and a whole lot of interesting topics. We were in the middle of discussion when we tuned in into this popular reality tv series on dstv, “finding the one”. So we switched topic

I was trying to explain to him why we have many ladies looking for suitors in Nigeria and the main reason being this harsh economy. I told him no man would want to settle down until he has something to fall onto and has a good job that can sustain a family but my friend thinks otherwise.

He said the reason why some ladies get really old without suitors coming their way is because they must have ignored a lot of guys during their prime (20-28) and once reality set in they become desperate.

I told him I have a sister who is perfectly fine and doing well but good men ain’t just coming her way, but he just wouldn’t agree. I can’t believe people still think this way in this 21st century. He was telling me no matter your looks and all someone must approach you, I had to calm him down what if those coming your way ain’t even somebody you can settle with. Guess his reply? You just have to endure and get married like that.

This a guy went on for some hours before I just decided to call it a quit and told him we should just enjoy our football match.Personally to me I think nobody should be forced into marriage when he /she ain’t ready.

I just want to seek you guys opinion, he will also be on nairaland reading this. Should the sole reason of not being able to find suitors be attributed to youthful exuberance alone? Do girls who find it difficult to find a man must have been to choosy in the past? Your opinions will be highly appreciated

[/s]It's the other way round. Men are the ones begging women for marriage. Some now prostrate to propose.

tihamu:
All Nigerian girl are useless all of them
Including FutureIsFemale(f)

lalasticlala seun mynd44 Dominique justwise rule 2.

The older they get the wiser they become.. it's even better you're matured enough before you think of getting married because marriage is not for teens. To get good suitors always be reserved.. A perfect suitor will approach you with this observation.. being reserved,mature and always coordinated anywhere you find yourself.
Mind you! no one wants to settle down for a runs girl.

So many things give rise to this
1) the "right" suitors do not come forth. Note some ladies decide to overlook men that are hardworking but he is not counting in millions yet while others look at how handsome he is .

2) the harsh economic reality has make men that shld have married their girlfriend to chicken out thereby contributing to the delayance of women.

3) Some women are not to be married, character wise, they are not good, cooking and taking care of the home, that one is zero.

Ok

Your friend is a wise nigga with dope points especially when the ladies are in higher institution or from age 20-25 they prefer to hoe around with the highest bidder no love or future goals.

Keep low and you'd get who/what you want.

How many guys want to marry into one room apartment with a separate kitchen ? How many gals want to endure with a few men who wish to marry into a room apartment with the description above? Everyone is just chasing shadows. Men too are busy craving a lifestyle which is often a mirage, before they think of getting married.

In my case, once God approved of our union with proofs even from more than one man of God who barely knew each other, we proceeded. I married my wife into a room with a separate kitchen outside. Once it rained in those days , we'd be busy diverting erosion away from the kitchen.

Today, we've achieved everything man has come to earth to achieve. I've dined with world leaders including Barak Obama on a special invitation to Washington DC. As I type this message, I'm inspecting my new edifice in lagos (the best in the whole estate). God has also blessed us with intelligent and God-fearing children all in a boarding secondary school in one of the best schools in Lagos.

My salary was 11k while my wife's was almost same when we got married. Barely a year after we got married, I began to change jobs like clothes and always with official cars, brand new to cap it all.

Money isn't everything when it comes to marriage too otherwise, DJ Cuppy wouldn't have been looking upandan for blind dates. It's God's institution. Try it and see things fall in pleasant places for you. Pray for your own and it would come, don't look at that pocket before you take a decision on this.

Make them dey find am

You need to understand intersexual dynamics. ladies (and guys too) have a timeline, but most are oblivious of it until much later in life when it's almost too late.

Ladies are at their peak period when they are between ages 18-24 (for some it extends to 26). At this stage they are approached by all kinds of guys, obviously because they are young and beautiful, but this attention they get makes them to feel like they are on top of the world, like goddesses and gifts to humanity. Among those approaching at this stage are people who genuinely want to settle with them for life, but they are not ready to forgo all the attention they are getting from the other guys. They basically want to explore and date different people.

When they approach ages btw 28-34 they realise that they are no longer as attractive as they used to be and are not getting the attention of guys as before (this is the epiphany stage). Then they become desperate to settle down but most guys/suitors have already gotten married or switched their attention to much younger ladies. So the top guys they were interested in during their peak period are no longer available to them. Most ladies at this stage will still adamantly refuse to lower their standards and settle for someone who isn't (in their minds) "up to their (unrealistic) standards", and they keep aging while waiting for "Mr Perfect."

For guys the story is different. Guys peak around 32-36 years. At this age they have worked very hard and made money, are financially independent and ready to settle. But most of them will settle for ladies who are younger (ladies in their 20s), only a handful will go for ladies in their 30s.

Also, our generation is losing it. Some ladies find it hard to keep a man because they do not know their roles as women. They have consciously or unconsciously become hard-core feminist. Reality is most men don't want to settle with such ladies.

Summary is no lady will truthfully say that guys (well-intentioned guys) never approached them in their twenties (peak period). But they are on top of the world at this stage and belive they have all the time in the world and can attract anyone just because they are young and beautiful.

If you are a lady in your 20s (especially mid 20s) pls while you are getting all the attention from guys try and identify a potential suitor to settle down with. The older you get the more difficult it becomes.

I am happy to marry 3 more wives between 30-35 years to help with the situation.

Love, one of the most misunderstood and abused words ever.

Perfect one?.... e go shock.

Above all... May God have Mercy on us

isaiah4life:
Marriage is overrated.

hmm as you have seen or experience d? As you lay your bed so you lie..

some ladies are not just lucky finding the right person in their prime. some waste their time with people they are not suppose to be dating in the first place. some are looking for men who are made already

Marriage is a beautiful thing and I believe that with the right partner, understanding and love, it will work out just fine... It's not always about how much you have in the bank.