₦airaland Forum

olosho, you're acting the script of Linda lkeji. It's just a matter of a few more knacks before you entrap him with pregnancy. The guy has told you he's not ready yet, desperate gold digger.

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

If that guy makes too much guy, i will introduce you to my friend. He is into financial services. He is 34. A Uniport graduate millionaire but not a deca millionaire. He is seriously searching. He said he can't exceed September next year. Thats if you are willing to marry a Rivers guy. Though he has some specifications. Feel free to whatsapp me on 08064329142

Pakute:
olosho, you're acting the script of Linda lkeji. It's just a matter of a few more knacks before you entrap him with pregnancy. The guy has told you he's not ready yet, desperate gold digger.

What or who exactly you hurt you that's making you sound so retarded, depressed and dumb?

You sound so broken beyond repair. You could work in his company. We can pay u 30k monthly. I will add 10k. Hopefully, u still get some change to give to the cheap, dirty underage girls u sleep with. Perhaps u can upgrade from bribing them with 2k with something more meaningful, since we would be giving you 40k.

You mentality is only formed by your poor circle. One girl has forced pregnancy on your head right? I wonder how many girls have aborted for you.

You come from the slum: Reality. If not u won't be thinking this way.

Men of value want women of value and it's vice versa.

Imagine; get pregnant for a guy because of money?? Where did u come from??!

ngoziwrites:
25k hotel will move me? 25k hotel? Did you hear yourself.

Well, These post just make me see that men are really depressed and society is not fair to you all.

If a woman wants a stable man- it's gold digging.

But if a man marries a white lady or rich woman - he is smart and sharp.

It's such a pity.

I have proudly dated men earning less. I have started from scratch. But there are stages in life.

Why do men avoid marriage when they aren't financially stable? because it makes no sense in an ideal world.

Women should strive. Men too.

Everyone hustle.

Exactly.

Cesclxg:
Then define your relationship. You said something like the guy has all the power and your can't talk to him. How can u be earning 450k and still have low self-confidence?

Yeah the guy may be 'richer' but you are not doing badly yourself. We shouldn't be the one telling u to dump him. You should be the one asking us if you should give the guy a chance and our answer would have been a Big Fat No.

Grow some balls, babe. You are doing well. No man should take u for a ride, unless u want to be ridden.

I concur

TalkCity:
I wanted to link you up with my cousin, very handsome guy, tall and single, from Asaba(igbo speaking part of delta state) . Thing is, because of his job, he doesn't have time to socialize, that's why he's single. But you already said you can date some who earn less because I think he earn 120k. Anyway I support you not settling for less.

I think it's better she doesn't settle for less. At least something in the range of 300k and above would be okay.

ngoziwrites:
Thank you. I am not planning to ask him if he thinks we can get married or if he wants to get married to me. No, that's too early.

I only want to ask him where he sees himself in a year or two. If he sees himself getting married to whoever by then.

Yeah of course you can ask him that.

GeneralDae:
Yeah of course you can ask him that.

Thank you�

ngoziwrites:
What or who exactly you hurt you that's making you sound so retarded, depressed and dumb?

You sound so broken beyond repair. You could work in his company. We can pay u 30k monthly. I will add 10k. Hopefully, u still get some change to give to the cheap, dirty underage girls u sleep with. Perhaps u can upgrade from bribing them with 2k with something more meaningful, since we would be giving you 40k.

You mentality is only formed by your poor circle. One girl has forced pregnancy on your head right? I wonder how many girls have aborted for you.

You come from the slum: Reality. If not u won't be thinking this way.

Men of value want women of value and it's vice versa.

Imagine; get pregnant for a guy because of money?? Where did u come from??!

Using 'we' as though she was married to him. "we can pay you bla bla ba". The only dream in your hollow head is the fantasy of the guy's wealth. Obviously, the only thing that makes your pussy dripping wet.

I'll pass over your offer, I'm a chattered accountant and I've seen a lot manipulation of cheap hoes like you. Desperate hoes like you would do just about anything to entrap a guy. I wish I knew the dude, he would dump your poverty- stricken ass the next minute.

Cesclxg:
You sound proud, though. Saying things like u can't get married earning 120k. Just be thankful u earn well and don't belittle people earning less.

It is a pity that you are so naive still. A man takes u to the hotel and bangs the hell outta u. And u guys don't have any deep and meaningful conversation. So what the fvck do u guys talk about?

Don't mind d clown.

I can't marry a man earning this and that. . I have physically seen any girls talking like this. . And today. . Putting ceilings upon their destinies. Today even if they see a decent man earning 60k they will jump at him. .

In 3 years her check lists will change. I pray God shows mercy on her and teach her how to get closer to him.

..

Pakute:
Using 'we' as though she was married to him. "we can pay you bla bla ba". The only dream in your hollow head is the fantasy of the guy's wealth. Obviously, the only thing that makes your pussy dripping wet.

I'll pass over your offer, I'm a chattered accountant and I've seen a lot manipulation of cheap hoes like you. Desperate hoes like you would do just about anything to entrap a guy. I wish I knew the dude, he would dump your poverty- stricken ass the next minute.

The dreams in my head are all mine.... Like I said your thoughts radiate from your environment.

Hopefully u give birth to a daughter someday and her greatest aspiration is a man's wealth.

Think! think outside the box.

It's not money this, money that... Women want growth too. If not u won't hear all the big names of the women u hear today.

Come out of your small circle and open your eyes to the fact that some women want so much for themselves too.

.....

Pakute:
Using 'we' as though she was married to him. "we can pay you bla bla ba". The only dream in your hollow head is the fantasy of the guy's wealth. Obviously, the only thing that makes your pussy dripping wet.

I'll pass over your offer, I'm a chattered accountant and I've seen a lot manipulation of cheap hoes like you. Desperate hoes like you would do just about anything to entrap a guy. I wish I knew the dude, he would dump your poverty- stricken ass the next minute.

Now, he is bragging. Well, you have the rest of the thread to yourself.... Say all u want. Whatever makes u sleep at night. U are not getting any response.

I hope someday u heal from the things that keep you up at night.

ngoziwrites:
Its so unfortunate that successful women makes you all sad.

It's the African mentality. A successful woman should be free to dream big as well. If you marry a man earning 60k, same man with his ego might feel intimidated by you. If however, you marry such a man, it's not bad. But since you have decided not to, I truly don't see anything wrong with that as well.

ngoziwrites:
I hope you also set standards for yourself and be with the kind of woman you want to me with: Physically, Spiritually, Financially..

Above all, no one is perfect, so I hope u let love lead.

My dear, let God lead not love lead.

Love is good for your relationships / affairs (boy/girl friends)

But when u talk about marriage it deeper than that and not enough at all.

You can see ur so called love having many conditions even tied to financial strenghts (same applies to most).

For a house to stand, foundations matter.

The solution is simple, be open with him but not with your legs, from what i read i think u are more into him than he's with you, so look look into that.

Secoundly take things slowly or bit by bit like he's doing thats his kind of person, he doesnt want to rush into marriage with until he is certain he wants you, you should do thesame,as you can see he's quite establish so you cant impress him well enough with ur wealth or status.

Best wishes.

ngoziwrites:
Its so unfortunate that successful women makes you all sad.

Madam, d dream of most men is a humble and broken woman.

Your eyes are too much on financial index.

I am extremely comfortable and from a very cool background for your information.

Be a humble and godly woman above all these things first. It makes me see you as gold. This is the truth.

......

ngoziwrites:
So, I met this great guy online. After 2 weeks, we met in person and everything was perfect.

It's almost 2 months since we have been together.

He asked me out while we were together and I gladly said yes. (I have met a lot of players�). So while we were together, a discussion popped up and he said he can't discuss anything related to marriage until after 6 months. I pretended not to hear.


I don't know his financial capacity but I know he is doing okay. He controls the family business. They sell trucks, trailers and all. He is also a landlord in one of his father's houses at Festac. We stayed at a hotel. 25k per night. He paid for 2 night and I paid for one night. But during these times, we went to his house.

He said he didn't want me to come to see his place because it's the first time. And he said the house is very hot too.


Our communication is great but he doesn't look like he wants marriage soon. He has said things like marriage is hard work. He has also said in 10 years time, people will hardly be getting married.

Then one night, we were talking and he said I "see my wife as my responsibility"
I will take care of her and of cos, I am okay but I will still be very very rich, so I can't bring in any woman to suffer now" .. That's what I am sure I heard but I was scared to ask him to explain further or repeat himself.

He is actually okay, he has two cars but importantly, he has sense and he is very hard-working. But he is very principled and we have actually had several instances where he doesn't pick my calls at night. It happens often but I am starting to trust him, because sometimes I call by 5am and he picks and says he slept off. Sometimes we would be chatting on WhatsApp and after I call him 20 minutes later, he won't respond. He is not married!

So, I currently earn 450k monthly and I have been able to save something meaningful, so I can start a good business before getting married or after. I haven't stated because I don't know which one yet. I started a restaurant business when I was 23 but it failed.

If I ask him and he says 1 year, of course, I can wait. I will be 26 years next year April.

We will seeing for the 2nd time next week. I plan to ask him when he sees himself getting married but I am scared and the way he carries himself makes me reluctant to ask such.

About two weeks ago, I wanted to even surprise him with gifts. I asked for his account number and office/home address. (He picked me up the last time I traveled to see him, so I don't know the address". Well, he didn't give me these details. He said when it's time I will have them.


Two days ago, he said a friend's younger brother is getting married. He laughed and said people just dey marry. He has once asked me "You dey find husband?" jokingly-

I would like to settle before 27. Is it bad that I am thinking this way? If he says he is looking to get married in 2-3 years, i think it's a bit far. 2023 is still fine. But the problem is he doesn't really sound like marriage is on his mind. He will be 32 next year April too.

We vibe a lot. But he says I love you sparingly. Sometimes I say it and he doesn't respond, he will say tomorrow I will tell u or no, I told u yesterday.

But we are really really cool. I like him a lot and he likes me but I think I like him more. He gives me attention, I don't have to ask.

If I was 23, I won't have a problem waiting 3-4 years. But since I am ready mentally, financially, I am looking for someone who wants it within 6 months to 1 year. I can still try to do 2 years if I get someone great.

You have a good heart, there's nothing wrong with everything you've said, leave those saying rubbish about desperation and wealth.

You said He is principled, where do His principles come from? I understand that you've not met His family, so you may not know about His dad or His siblings, but does He look like someone that's religious? You get where I'm going? Everyone has a moral compass that is hinged to a wall, what is His wall?

Have you met His friends or He's discussed about them before? Are they married? If not, I doubt He wants to marry anytime soon.

Because He's 32 doesn't mean He's ready to settle down.

ggood:
babe am in Lagos too , am looking for a wife I will gladly marry you, reply please am serious

Gold digger. Marry the ones in your DM.

Kuriosmynd:
Now, don't assume you know this young man well enough. You just barely met him.

You will know him better after you guys have sex 3x to 5x. I guess he already fvcked you well, otherwise I don't get your desperation.
.
You sound like a good innocent girl. I think I like your person. But I also feel the guy is trying to take firm control of you and do you as he pleases. Thread carefully. Those words he throws around shouldn't be taken lightly. There are often truth in light jokes.

You still need to understand his psyche, don't ask him openly, but during conversation and subtle question, u will connect the dots. U need to know the kind of girl he really wishes to marry. I mean In terms of look, endowment, age, family background and tribe, u must see if u fall in that category...else it's good to start being sceptical.
.
The truth is, sometimes, we guys might be dating a great girl, yet we are not convinced she's our want/spec.so we end up doing her as we please and dump her, and she starts to doubt herself.
.
Again. You need to know where he really wish to be, I mean his dream and plans; see if he's in that direction. See if he's content abt his present state, otherwise some guys might want to be headed toward their dream before giving marriage a serious interest. Forget about what he father has.Try to know where he wants to be.

Then reduce ur desperation and see how he responds to your unavailability. Note his words and don't be blind to his actions.
And lastly, don't showoff u have money..lol Guys will eat you, especially if he's not that committed to you.
Keep observing, as you never really known this guy. Later, you can ask him his plans for marriage, there's nothing bad. You need to know this guy's psyche abt marriage, otherwise u will be traveling in a boat without destination

Fortunately for you the guy is hearing.. lol. Let him go. from your outburst here, u seems to be okay. meanwhile, dont think you are too old, take ur time the right guy might just at your finger tips all you need to do is create a little space for the right guy to walk in...Dont take a red flag for granted.

.....

ngoziwrites:
Okay..... Like I said, since we have been talking, I have not asked for ordinary 1k and that's not happening anytime soon. His money doesn't benefit me. Of course, if marriage happens, we would have a comfortable life and the kids won't have to suffer. And yes, it will be two people working towards that: Me and the Man.

If you are comfortable like u said, I expect u to be intelligent. Sadly, that's not what u are displaying.

I hope u will find what intelligence mean soon. Good luck.

Yadid:
Red flags are all over the place, but it looks like you are so into him you are willing to overlook them. You need to take things slow here

You are very right. The red flag is so real. The guy is a player who has mastered the act of playing on a woman's emotions and the lady is too desperate. She just needs to slow things down. Her great mistake is if she has started sleeping with him. That would be her greatest undoing.

ngoziwrites:
We don't discuss marriage.

But u want to discuss it with him next time u guys meet and it's only 2 months. That's too soon for a normal dating pattern.

Look here, there's nothing wrong discussing marriage with a guy within 2 weeks of dating if both of u are on the same page of marriage.
That's why I said look for an eligible bachelor who wants to get married soon...them plenty.

That guy is not under pressure to get married, some even said he may be a married man preying on naive spinsters.

U know what u want, don't allow any man waste your time. Are u ready to spend 2 years of your life dating him with an unknown and unclear destination. If not why not cut your loss and move on.
The guy may be the best for u BUT are u the best for him?

As I said earlier, the guy wouldn't mind u being around so long as u service his engine. Nothing apart from this is certain at the moment.

ngoziwrites:
Thank you. I am not planning to ask him if he thinks we can get married or if he wants to get married to me. No, that's too early.

I only want to ask him where he sees himself in a year or two. If he sees himself getting married to whoever by then.

PLEASE go ahead, is okay.

SIRTee15:
But u want to discuss it with him next time u guys meet and it's only 2 months. That's too soon for a normal dating pattern.

Look here, there's nothing wrong discussing marriage with a guy within 2 weeks of dating if both of u are on the same page of marriage.
That's why I said look for an eligible bachelor who wants to get married soon...them plenty.

That guy is not under pressure to get married, some even said he may be a married man preying on naive spinsters.

U know what u want, don't allow any man waste your time. Are u ready to spend 2 years of your life dating him with an unknown and unclear destination. If not why not cut your loss and move on.
The guy may be the best for u BUT are u the best for him?

As I said earlier, the guy wouldn't mind u being around so long as u service his engine. Nothing apart from this is certain at the moment.

Next time we see, I am not discussing marriage between us. Why will ask a guy if he wants to get married to me in two months. Why would I even bring up marriage plans btw me and himself within two months.


No. I only want to ask: So where do u see yourself in a year or Two. Do you think you see yourself settling down in a year or two. That's all I want to ask.

Not telling him I think we should start making marriage plans... No!

If he doesn't, then I don't want to be with that kind of person.

ngoziwrites:
The dreams in my head are all mine.... Like I said your thoughts radiate from your environment.

Hopefully u give birth to a daughter someday and her greatest aspiration is a man's wealth.

Think! think outside the box.

It's not money this, money that... Women want growth too. If not u won't hear all the big names of the women u hear today.

Come out of your small circle and open your eyes to the fact that some women want so much for themselves too.

It's no longer about paying me 40k, it now about my daughter, right?

Look, I can conclude how ridiculously piss poor your mindset.

The big names of women out there do not run after a man who lodges a hoe in a 25k hotel/ night, has two cars and sells trucks. The women of the industry grow businesses from nothing or little to something big. They achieved it, they proved it.

But You.. you can't give it because you don't have it. You started a restaurant and it failed, you couldn't manage a business let alone manage a home. You failed, you have no value.

You are haunted by your greatest fear, you needed security, so that when you collapse, there is a man who could help lift you back to life.

ngoziwrites:
Now, he is bragging. Well, you have the rest of the thread to yourself.... Say all u want. Whatever makes u sleep at night. U are not getting any response.

I hope someday u heal from the things that keep you up at night.

Sit your ass down bitch, i'm done with you.

ngoziwrites:
Well, sadly... That's not how I see it. It's just society is funny. I mentioned that I paid part of the hotel bills. I also mentioned my plans to surprise him with gifts and I didn't only mention that he is earning. I talked about myself too but unfortunately no one saw that.

The guys here just picked the part that suit them.

Roll slow. In your private moments, what does your heart tell you? Never take that gut feeling/instincts lightly. May God help you nne. Ngozi is a name one of my favourite cousins by the way..

Wait ooo abeg for where una dey see this kind job in Nigeria paying a 25 yeas lady huge sum of N450,000 monthly...?

I am not doubting you just that I envied you so much..

With my Masters degree and years of experience plus other side knowledge acquired, I still don't get half of this as salary monthly...

I pray God will send someone like you with good heart and humanity to get me connected to jobs like this..

As for the matter arising, you really have to trade carefully and I think its even better you start tightening your guards around this dude while you extend your search light beyond. The guy might be great and meets all your expectations in a man but he's definitely not the best of all.

And who told you a better person won't still come your way sooner than you desired..?

Let's just commit everything to prayers while the search continues as I believe the best is yet to come your way and he will come very soon by His special grace..

If not that am married I would have opt for us to go into a relationship because without bragging I am everything and more you have said about the guy and around the same age too, if not for any other things but your innocence... ( tho I don't know how you look because I value beauty and morality a lot smiles...).

Best of luck!!