sorry u do not need to blame yourself, pls find out by all means what is attracting him to this prostitutes and act and do the same,

Your husband has been a sex addict even before he married you though he was claiming to be religious.
I know Someone like that currently who is a flirt but some sisters in church still thinks he is a brother.
May God deliver faithful brothers and sisters from pretentious, flirty and promiscuous partners

@ ChiomaCa

Did you cheat when you were young?

Did you also double-date before you married or cheated on him first?

Did you date married men when you were single?

The problem I have is, I see a lot of young ladies do all these things I mentioned. But when marriage sets in, all of a sudden all women are good. Are they not the same ones who did all the aforementioned in their heydays? Why do they now think the married men the younger girls of today date is not their own husbands?

It's just a circle of life my dear. No hard feelings.

ChiomaCa:
Hello everyone, I'm in need of an advice, I got married to a man 5yrs+ ago. He relocated some months after marriage to Canada, I went to meet him 2 years after. And we had a baby 10months after my arrival. Immediately I arrived his place, I noticed he flirt alot onlline, Sex chats, Video sex chats, Visit porn sites, visit Prostitue Sites, and the rest. I caught him red-handed twice and he begged and pleaded not to do such again. I forgive him and I believe maybe because of the distance we had in two years.

We move on and I promise myself not to even go near his Laptop or mobile phone anymore.

I adhered to that for more than a year, which I'm still doing that till December 23 of 2021.

My daughter threw his I-watch inside water. Then I picked it up to drain for some minutes, after I drianed, I realised a message popped up , which Read " Do you enjoy me yesterday Do I book you for tomorrow again"

I was forced to check what's this. I saw hell. In short, he visited two different Prostitues in a hotel to book 30 minutes session with them for $160 and $220, I also saw other messages asking for Anal sex from these Escorts. I realised, he visited them 3rd, 1st 22nd of December. During these period, I was the one begging him for sex. He said he's not interested that he's Fixed with many activities and Shifts at work.

I was in the house hopping my husband as gone to work, not knowing he's doing something else within his short break and free time.

Immediately I saw this, I was devastated,I was mad at my self. We are very religious. Why all these for God sake, this is the 3rd time, what have I done to myself, have made a wrong choice?

I called his brother back in Nigeria and I inform and sent all what I saw to him, he called and talked to him, the next day, my husband came to me, apologize and promised not to do that again. I accept and forgive him.

Few days ago, I have been having this kind of feeling, I feel like I'm not beutiful because why will my husband prefer a Prostitue than me.

I hate myself, I think about it every minutes, whenever I see him, my mind keep breathing fast. I'm sad and I'm not happy, I don't know what to do.

I can't discuss with my parents, because they see my husband as the most religious person.

He doesn't talk much, keep friends nor drink.

I need advice dear mummy and daddy please is this a red light?

Some keep saying you forgive him easily blah blah blah.
At this point of catching him more than twice says a lot about how deep he is into it.
If I were you, I will won’t even think of talking about this new adventure of him to his people nor yours. It will worsen the situation.
Seat him down and have a heart to heart conversation. He should be able to tell you what’s wrong. There must be somethings you are no longer doing anymore. We all have fantasies ( I’m sure you know his before saying I do) for him to stop ( it’s not spiritual before you all started doing all of that. He will make the decision to stop as an adult) those prostitues must be younger than you. Spicy things up in your marriage. I wish I can say pray about it like most Nairalander without sense. Just seat his ass out and talk ( preferable on a date)

He needs counseling. Those 2 years you were absent led him into a ring of prostitutes that got him addicted. It is not your fault but since you guys are married help him come out of that bondage. Imagine wasting $160 on 30 minutes of nonsense and he's not a Nigerian politician that sees easy money.

Woman, stop thinking you are the problem. Your spouse is the source of his problem. He likely got addicted to prostitutes while he was alone in Canada. But I want to believe he was likely doing the same in Nigeria before he moved to Canada. Remove that religious thing. The most evil things in this world were committed by those pretending to be religious. I am not sure you would be able to provide him with the same sexual acts as those prostitutes. First, take a soft approach by recommending that he visit rehab for those suffering from sexual addiction or a counsellor. If he doesn't stop, threaten him with divorce in a very diplomatic way.

pocohantas:
Any small thing, they will start telling the wife to take care of herself. How many of you Nigerian men look good? With your pot bellies like drum and nonexistent necks.

Why not marry the lady with ashewo vibes? You claim men know the one to marry. Say you want peace of mind. You done marry peace of mind now, you come dey cheat on am with ashewo. Confused gender.

I liked your previous reply to someone above, not this one. Truly, call girls utterly disgust some single guys like me. I am decent enough to find weird the idea of asking a woman 'how much' for sex. But there is nothing wrong about the op in this situation cultivating the ashewo vibes first for a try. We can then later understand if her man wants variety rather than ashewo vibes. Many men work out and work on their looks for their woman too Ma.

ChiomaCa:
Hello everyone, I'm in need of an advice, I got married to a man 5yrs+ ago. He relocated some months after marriage to Canada, I went to meet him 2 years after. And we had a baby 10months after my arrival. Immediately I arrived his place, I noticed he flirt alot onlline, Sex chats, Video sex chats, Visit porn sites, visit Prostitue Sites, and the rest. I caught him red-handed twice and he begged and pleaded not to do such again. I forgive him and I believe maybe because of the distance we had in two years.

We move on and I promise myself not to even go near his Laptop or mobile phone anymore.

I adhered to that for more than a year, which I'm still doing that till December 23 of 2021.

My daughter threw his I-watch inside water. Then I picked it up to drain for some minutes, after I drianed, I realised a message popped up , which Read " Do you enjoy me yesterday Do I book you for tomorrow again"

I was forced to check what's this. I saw hell. In short, he visited two different Prostitues in a hotel to book 30 minutes session with them for $160 and $220, I also saw other messages asking for Anal sex from these Escorts. I realised, he visited them 3rd, 1st 22nd of December. During these period, I was the one begging him for sex. He said he's not interested that he's Fixed with many activities and Shifts at work.

I was in the house hopping my husband as gone to work, not knowing he's doing something else within his short break and free time.

Immediately I saw this, I was devastated,I was mad at my self. We are very religious. Why all these for God sake, this is the 3rd time, what have I done to myself, have made a wrong choice?

I called his brother back in Nigeria and I inform and sent all what I saw to him, he called and talked to him, the next day, my husband came to me, apologize and promised not to do that again. I accept and forgive him.

Few days ago, I have been having this kind of feeling, I feel like I'm not beutiful because why will my husband prefer a Prostitue than me.

I hate myself, I think about it every minutes, whenever I see him, my mind keep breathing fast. I'm sad and I'm not happy, I don't know what to do.

I can't discuss with my parents, because they see my husband as the most religious person.

He doesn't talk much, keep friends nor drink.

I need advice dear mummy and daddy please is this a red light?

Religion is #2 of this issue, your husband is #1

If you still want your marriage to work, start watching porn n learn what they do there so that you can do it with your hubby, if possible both of you shld watch it together n discuss how you both want it.

If you are fed up, divorce the asshole and move on before you destroy yourself. This one u are already having yourself.

justinaa2012:
#fact#
This trait started when you guys were apart and it was his own consolation which has become an addict.
#Goodnews#
It will stop it. This requires love, patients and time.Tell him how this has made u have low self-esteem.
Your marriage will bounce back
Your marriage will bounce back.

#patienceLoveTime#

Haha

Stop fire

The guy is probably addicted to interracial porn too. He is just practicing what he sees till he gives the wife at home some disease.

Haba e never reach that level na[color=#990000][/color]

Vyolet:

You must have same supplier as Portable.

Divinefavour1:

Try and watch the film
War Room
The case is similar to yours.

This is really a time to get closer with God while fighting such addictions.

Has he ever complained about your body, intimacy or mentioned that you are no longer beautiful?

This is rubbish advice

Nobody should watch that stupid, brain draining movie.

The Bible is strongly against adultery and adultery will always be a valid reason for divorce even by God's standards.

You cannot pray away a sick man. War Room is a movie for a reason.

Imagine if I adviced you to go and watch Spiderman to help you navigate your life.

MPESA:



Please don't be unfortunate, look at silly things you have been dishing out , she needs help, an advise from matured and sensible beings not from a kid in adults form.

Why Your Only advise is divorce and why not give a solution.... Nonsense.

... Answer my question. Will you accept a chronic cheating wife? Yes or No

A man has the right to enjoy himself as much as he wants. He makes the money, so he should enjoy with whoever he wants.

After all, when he was hustling in Nigeria, I'm sure no lady agreed to build a relationship with him, hence he unfortunately formed the habit of sleeping with prostitutes. Now that he is well off, you opportunistically jumped into his life and want to start monitoring him like a monitoring spirit. Kapish!

Divinefavour1:

Try and watch the film
War Room
The case is similar to yours.

This is really a time to get closer with God while fighting such addictions.

Has he ever complained about your body, intimacy or mentioned that you are no longer beautiful?

The prostitute body will always be nicer as he can change them as he likes. Different shapes and sizes.

JONNYSPUTE:
....What will you do if your wiife always have sex with gigolo's and you have begged her to stop but she still does it?

It's disgusting we all know that, but she hasn't explore all her option yet... The 2 years Distance might caused it if the man wasn't like that before and probably getting addicted to that which he needs urgent help. Like someone asked earlier why is her husband stopped finding her attractive again? And he he suggested that she should start dressing seductively for him , let her try to keep him at his toe get both his family involved and forget about what her own mother will say , let's call a spade a spade it's very bad for the man to doing such a stupid act and many men are now seeing it as nothing here where I reside 90% of men cheat probably because they are not leaving with their wife but that's a stupid and lame excuse for them... Around me here so many single mothers Which is very bad both in bringing up there kids and society at large...
P.s
Kids are involved here divorce should be the last option , the man centainly need help , na who with his right sense go leave his wife to sex prostitute and let them seek a professional help ..
Infidelity is very Wrong irrespective of the gender.

ChiomaCa:
Not arrange marriage at all

Hmm I know similar story like this from some1 close to me.. Is ur hubby from ijaw or edo

KillIgbohoN0W:
When you were prostituting with him you didn't alert us. Now that he has dumped you for fresher prostitutes, you are complaining.

A man like that definitely married you because of all the porn styles you gave him which you no longer give in marriage.
.

That's so harsh, and you assuming things, not good!

My Sister, I feel for you. I don't know why most married men are like that. Recently, I went for a function at Nnewi. I had to lodge in a hotel. I was so ashamed of myself as a man. Its just the married men that are living this adulterous life.
I think you have three things to do:
1. How prayerful are you? Do you pray with your husband and kids every morning and night? Have you told God Almighty about this?
2. You sound like my mum that sweeps everything under the carpet for peace to reign. This is a No! No! You have to get something doing if you are not working, so that you won't be dependent on him. This will make him have respect for you.
He has taken advantage of you cause you are not the wahala type and I know its gonna be hard for you to change.
3. NEVER adhere to Divorce. God forbids it except a partner is late. Find out what those women do for him sexually that attracts him. Rebrand yourself. Do for him whatever he likes sexually. He is your husband.
I told my wife same thing 2 years ago cause she is the Churchi churchi type.
Your dressing! Buy those hot mini clothes. Package yourself. A lot of things to work on. When you have those stuff he is looking for outside, he might change.
Husband and wife sex has nothing to do with religious affairs. God ordained it.
Let the two of you go for test ooo! To be sure that there is no wahala.
Finally, go on your knees in prayers. God Almighty is reliable. He can do all things. Nothing is impossible with him.

StPete:
It's just sex and it's his own addiction. Either help him to fight it or just let him be. As long as he does his bit in his family. You see, to men like that, it's just sex. No feelings attached.

I know many people would reverse the case if it was the woman but women don't just have random sex, it comes with emotions. Even prostitutes catch feelings with their clients. So just let him be. Insist he use a condom with them and just free your mind about how he bleeps around. In his own time, he will stop

Anal sex and all. It won't be long till some nasty disease comes knocking.

MPESA:


It's disgusting we all know that, but she hasn't explore all her option yet... The 2 years Distance might caused it if the man wasn't like that before and probably getting addicted to that which he needs urgent help. Like someone asked earlier why is her husband stopped finding her attractive again? And he he suggested that she should start dressing seductively for him , let her try to keep him at his toe get both his family involved and forget about what her own mother will say

...You ve not answered me.let me rephrase. If your wife is in such behaviour as that man will you give her a second chance?

Ficeo:
My Sister, I feel for you. I don't know why most married men are like that. Recently, I went for a function at Nnewi. I had to lodge in a hotel. I was so ashamed of myself as a man. Its just the married men that are living this adulterous life.
.

Most married men are not like that. Limit your experience to people you associate yourself with. Abeg

ChiomaCa:
Not arrange marriage at all

is an addiction just like any other. One thing about sleeping with prostitute is once it starts there is no going back. His only regret is the money he spends and not your pain. This is what gives him thrill and excitement. If you like give him acrobatic style, it doesn't matter to him. He imagines getting 3 some that he watches in porn movies. White prostitutes know how to hook a man. They sex you as if you are their boyfriend. Infact the man doesn't desire your body anymore. He picked this addiction because you were far away from him. The solution is to take him to a rehab were he would kill and quench this addiction. Increase your monitoring of him so that he doesn't break the cycle.

safarigirl:



Stop talking nonsense here, are you an illiterate?

Why can't the man just be sick? Why must his sickness be attached to the innocent wife?

Why do you people always excuse men from being accountable?

You are small girl anyway.
If you know the number of homes those single girls destroy before getting married. You will not pity them, if the younger girls take fresh and milk with their husbands. Its called karma. Just that we cry fowl, when karma decides to take his course.

Madam, the Lord will break every shackles of the enemy concerning your home. Don’t let anyone preach divorce to you because is not an option. There is nothing prayer cannot do. Keep interceding for him and God will give you testimony soon on it. You can watch this movie by EVOM titled THE GATE KEPPER and draw an encouragement from it. God bless you

First you do not need to hate ursef or think you are ugly . You are a beautiful woman and be sure your husband loves you with all his heart I know some low sense will say if he love you he wud not engage in such but one thing u shud know is we all hv something we are struggling with in life. Wen something turns to an habit it is always difficult to let go but very simple to stop if u hv some1 who understand ur problem and ready to help u out. You are the one to help ur husband stop dis habit and u don't need fight or anger to deliver him.

The good thing is that you are aware. You have to do dis as chance permit u wit luv and smile. Call him and make fun of the situation with loving smile, play around wit him and start asking him question what always attract him to those prostitutes and what does he really enjoy going after them. Do all this jokingly with luv I swear your husband wud open up to u and u both can work together to help him stop. Remember it won't just stop like that but with time and constant engagement with him plus smile and jokes abt d matter u will help him find a way out of it. Remember to also put it in prayer to deal with the spiritual side. Victory certain

My candid advise is for you to dress seductively while at home with him.Perhaps, this will make you more attractive to him

Check below and stop disturbing Nairaland with stories you cooked up.

Canada has rules and you already know what to do:

Men Like Variety

This may sound quite sarcastic but some men love the variety in every thing they do. These set of men are quick to tell you that it would be abnormal to eat the same kind of soup every day of the year, so the best thing for them is to patronize commercial sex workers to get something different from what they get at home.

When it comes to sex, a prostitute is willing to try anything and the sex style the madam at home abhors could be the one that gives the man the most pleasure.

And if the prostitute can give it to him the way he wants, why not try her, he would always reason.maybe u should start watching porn to learn different style,u will thank later

Enugurangers:

Most married men are not like that. Limit your experience to people you associate yourself with. Abeg

Most married men I have seen are like that. This is the white truth.

JONNYSPUTE:
...You ve not answered me.let me rephrase. If your wife is in such behaviour as that man will you give her a second chance?

First and foremost is not my wife and I'm not the one that needs HELP here.

Secondly na people like you will advise others couple to leave at slightest opportunity but if the such happens to you , you will cover it up .

Engage in prayers for him. Do not let his attitude overwhelm you. Also prepare to make yourself decently attractive in physical appearance, in word and in all manner of interactions with him, henceforth.

ChiomaCa:


I'm not a Prostitue. I said above that we are both religious. Even he's more than I do.

most you answer that foolish being nairaland is not the best place to seek for advice kids also come here to spew rubbish