₦airaland Forum

aboyaji:
You people don't just read and start typing. Most of you commenters have no such experience, nor very close family. I'll buttress this.

I have 4 brothers and a sister including myself which is 5 guys and a girl (totalling 6 people) in my family.

Our 3rd bro is married to a very lovely girl. She accommodates everyone. She was very young when she came into our family (20). She even calls me her husband and I call her my wife. I'm always confident and comfortable calling her by such name because she's worth it and more. We talk on video calls all the time unending.

She always asks us when next we'd visit. She should be 25 or 26 now. Her husband is financially stable. We all could visit at once and she'd accommodate us all. Mind you, we're all grownups. No issues whatsoever. Our eldest brother is too proud of her. He should be 40 soon.

Our 2nd brother is the one in the mess now. He has a baby mama. Now, the girl wants to be converted to a wife by all means. But before that, here's the story....

I shared an apartment with this our 2nd brother. We did things together. We shared rents together. Cook and eat together until he got a girl pregnant. Because of this, I moved out and started living with a friend to give them space since he had to take care of the girl. One day, due to some irregularities in my friend's house, I couldn't bath their at the time. I took a bike to my brother's place (our shared apartment) to have a quick bath only and get to work early. I met this girl alone in the house. I told her my intentions and situations on ground for coming and I didn't visit frequently since I moved. Guess what she said; "you'll replace the water after taking your bath". I was shocked.

I took my bath and left. One other time, I had a particular cloth I wanted to wear to work. I remembered I had left it in that our shared apartment. I went their to get it. On reaching the apartment, I told her why I came. I went in, opened the wardrobe. Behold, this girl left what she was doing, came and stood behind me to see what I was taking. Me?

Then I opened the fridge to pick a satchet of water, she moved toward the fridge to still know what I was picking. I was mad internally. I didn't speak of it. I called my brother and told him all of those she did. My brother said it's not a serious something.

Now, I live in my own home alone. The girl had put to bed and I hadn't seen their child. This new year, the came back from the East with the new child. My brother called that they're back. I said I'd come see them officially. That is my duty.

Same day, same night, I took my woman to greet them from a distance I live. On reaching, I didn't meet my brother but the lady and child. She barely opened the door. I even asked her to open the door that I'd stay till my brother came back. She barely opened her mouth to greet us. After that, she didn't say anything again. No "welcome take seat". No "will you guys drink water"?

We stood until I motioned my woman to sit after pulling out a seat behind the door. I sat on the floor.

The lady didn't say anything. She was just watching some TV programs. A small girl of 22-23 ooo!!! Shortly, she saw the footwear I came in with and said "you came in with shoe into our house". I was like

I waited patiently. Shortly, she stood up, grabbed a broom and started sweeping the already neat floor at that time of the night. That was when I stood up and went outside. My woman followed suit.

We were outside in the night by 10pm till my brother came back. We went in. My brother had to go to the kitchen to make eba for everyone to eat. Her baby mama wife-to-be sat doing nothing. The baby was even sleeping. We ate, gisted and went home.

I know my brother won't see anything bad in whatsoever she does. He grants all her requests. He even calls us and ask us to please call her wife from time to time. Who does that? You don't force love.

None of my family members welcome her presence in the family at this moment.

Her problem is always telling my brother that she'd take flight to her family house. She'd take flight to some other location. My brother, who's a hustling guy for that matter. The last rent he paid was 130k and he didn't pay once.

Rachel98:
Good morning everyone. Hope we're having a wonderful week.

My Elder brother is doing well, no doubt he's the breadwinner in our family But his wife is so rude, too authoritative, she's full of pride and she looks down on people. She see everyone as her employee, she does not care if her actions or words hurts you, she's quick to slap at any slightest provocation. She's an event planner, please are event planners this rude??

She's the main reason why we barely visit our brother, despite we all live in the same city, we feel like a total stranger in our brother's house. Probably she's using "jazz" on him, I don't know But everything she does seems cool to him.

I managed to spend the weekend with them, since on friday she act like my presence irritates her. The maid prepared semo and vegetable soup, i don't eat swallow that like, so she saw me cooking noodles, she rudely said why're you not eating semo? Why are you people so selective? Then she left the kitchen. I just maintained my cool.

Yesterday she slapped her maid just because the plantain she told her to fry wasn't brown enough (maybe she wanted burnt sacrifice plantain). My elder brother calmly said honey you shouldn't have slapped her just becus of plaintain. The next she told my brother was "Defender!! go and marry her nw"

This morning, I jejely packed my belongings on my way to work, I entered my brother's car so he can drop me at the bus-stop, I just told him I won't be coming to his place anymore, once I'm done with work today I'm going home straight. And the annoying part, he would be asking me why? As if he's blind, he can't see how rude and ill-mannered his wife is.

His wife has really separated my brother from us, his own family. We don't even know what to do.

Ishilove:
May the oil of wisdom never run dry on your head.

Kobojunkie:
Again, regardless of how close you two were or are, the fact remains that he chose this woman as his wife.

In marriage, a man abandons his father and mother, siblings as well, and enters an agreement with the woman he chooses to start his own family with. Your brother has become one entity with this woman and you are required even by law to respect that.

Yes, I am guessing you were both born from the same womb, at different times, but he now has a family and life of his own, and is no longer your responsibility. If you can't see this, then I am afraid the problem isn't the woman but you.

aboyaji:
Ishi nne m. Amen.

Ishilove:
Don't give up on your brother, biko. I see people saying "mind your business" as of it is so easy to watch your sibling going astray and keep silent. As for me, I kuku trust myself. I will give the woman hot hot hot because I refuse to be disrespected. If my brother likes he should misyarn but I will do what is in my mind, and that is, put a badly brought up little girl in her place. Since her parents did not train her, she will collect training from outsiders.

MufasaLion:
Stop complaining about her and go back to your house. At least, your brother, the husband is happy with his woman. She ain't using jazz or whatever you might think of.

They both love and understand each other's personality. Your brother saw her like that before he married her. If you and your family can't cope, you should let them be. I see nothing wrong with her except that she is being physical with the maid and it's wrong.

Abfinest007:
Don't disturb married couples . maintain ur lane just like I'm doing and pray for God's blessings

Ishilove:
There is a thin line between being outspoken and being rude. Op's in-law is just plain rude.

Ishilove:
Kobo easy. Which one is 'abandons'?

aboyaji:
Thanks. You're wise. That's exactly what I'm doing now.

I only wish him well.


Guess what happened 2 days ago. Mom called and said "let your brother not repeat what he did some years ago".

What happened years ago? He had impregnated a certain young lady in 2014. Same person. Same occurrence. Who settled the matter? Family. And he's 3-4 years older than I am. Guess what? I wasn't close to him when it happened in 2014 and the girl in question came from an irresponsible money driven and alcoholic drunk family.

This new girl smokes weeeeeeeeeeeeeed. Story for another day.

And that punk assess of a kobo.junkie is talking thrash.

Kobojunkie:
So it doesn't occur to you that the problem stems from your brother and not the gals.... you just revealed here that this isn't the first time he has impregnated a girl for love?

aboyaji:
Why did I say from the onset that I was advising my brother? His choices have been bad.

Yinkakolawole:
That`s how you too gonna be if you get married & your husband siblings are coming to ya place to stay, or for a visit. Majority of you Women always like to act strange to ya husband family members after getting married to them..

Ladyhippolyta88:
Exactly, that is the point I just raised before seeing this.
Aboyaji, focus your energy on your brother stop blaming the ladies, if he wasn't like that they would not be with him.

Rachel98:
According to my brother, she has PhD in Sociology & Anthropology

aboyaji:
as the young one here on nairaland always put it...your brother is a complete simp and no apology for saying that. real men put their family members first before woman, like an interpreted saying in my language,'there has been family before the existence of wife'... one can say this is ny ex wife,but one cannot say...'this is my ex brother'.in fact, there is a fine line between my family members and my wife and thats a complete different thing not to be interchangeable. My wife always attend to the need of my family members to her capacity if I'm not home and always called my attention to the ones she can't handled cos I made sure of that. Although she maybe stubborn to some issues concerning this,probably due to her young age but the truth is...nothing is absolutely nothing like small woman when it comes to the issue of women generally.I also asked her if she'd attended to her family members also whenever I came in to notice their presence in our house. Most men don't set boundary between their family and wife and that has been their undoing...















You people don't just read and start typing. Most of you commenters have no such experience, nor very close family. I'll buttress this.

I have 4 brothers and a sister including myself which is 5 guys and a girl (totalling 6 people) in my family.

Our 3rd bro is married to a very lovely girl. She accommodates everyone. She was very young when she came into our family (20). She even calls me her husband and I call her my wife. I'm always confident and comfortable calling her by such name because she's worth it and more. We talk on video calls all the time unending.

She always asks us when next we'd visit. She should be 25 or 26 now. Her husband is financially stable. We all could visit at once and she'd accommodate us all. Mind you, we're all grownups. No issues whatsoever. Our eldest brother is too proud of her. He should be 40 soon.

Our 2nd brother is the one in the mess now. He has a baby mama. Now, the girl wants to be converted to a wife by all means. But before that, here's the story....

I shared an apartment with this our 2nd brother. We did things together. We shared rents together. Cook and eat together until he got a girl pregnant. Because of this, I moved out and started living with a friend to give them space since he had to take care of the girl. One day, due to some irregularities in my friend's house, I couldn't bath their at the time. I took a bike to my brother's place (our shared apartment) to have a quick bath only and get to work early. I met this girl alone in the house. I told her my intentions and situations on ground for coming and I didn't visit frequently since I moved. Guess what she said; "you'll replace the water after taking your bath". I was shocked.

I took my bath and left. One other time, I had a particular cloth I wanted to wear to work. I remembered I had left it in that our shared apartment. I went their to get it. On reaching the apartment, I told her why I came. I went in, opened the wardrobe. Behold, this girl left what she was doing, came and stood behind me to see what I was taking. Me?

Then I opened the fridge to pick a satchet of water, she moved toward the fridge to still know what I was picking. I was mad internally. I didn't speak of it. I called my brother and told him all of those she did. My brother said it's not a serious something.

Now, I live in my own home alone. The girl had put to bed and I hadn't seen their child. This new year, the came back from the East with the new child. My brother called that they're back. I said I'd come see them officially. That is my duty.

Same day, same night, I took my woman to greet them from a distance I live. On reaching, I didn't meet my brother but the lady and child. She barely opened the door. I even asked her to open the door that I'd stay till my brother came back. She barely opened her mouth to greet us. After that, she didn't say anything again. No "welcome take seat". No "will you guys drink water"?

We stood until I motioned my woman to sit after pulling out a seat behind the door. I sat on the floor.

The lady didn't say anything. She was just watching some TV programs. A small girl of 22-23 ooo!!! Shortly, she saw the footwear I came in with and said "you came in with shoe into our house". I was like

I waited patiently. Shortly, she stood up, grabbed a broom and started sweeping the already neat floor at that time of the night. That was when I stood up and went outside. My woman followed suit.

We were outside in the night by 10pm till my brother came back. We went in. My brother had to go to the kitchen to make eba for everyone to eat. Her baby mama wife-to-be sat doing nothing. The baby was even sleeping. We ate, gisted and went home.

I know my brother won't see anything bad in whatsoever she does. He grants all her requests. He even calls us and ask us to please call her wife from time to time. Who does that? You don't force love.

None of my family members welcome her presence in the family at this moment.

Her problem is always telling my brother that she'd take flight to her family house. She'd take flight to some other location. My brother, who's a hustling guy for that matter. The last rent he paid was 130k and he didn't pay once.

aboyaji:
Wait let me tell you what you don't know. I may have made a mistake quoting you. You don't sound learned in this discourse.

He is my brother. I am closest to him. I am not the type of adult that sits around doing nothing when things are going out of hand. I am very much responsible in his life because he is my brother. Get it?

Ishilove:
Don't give up on your brother, biko. I see people saying "mind your business" as if it is so easy to watch your sibling going astray and keep silent. As for me, I kuku trust myself. I will give the woman hot hot hot because I refuse to be disrespected. If my brother likes he should misyarn but I will do what is in my mind, and that is, put a badly brought up little girl in her place. Since her parents did not train her, she will collect training from outsiders.

Rachel98:
Good morning everyone. Hope we're having a wonderful week.

My Elder brother is doing well, no doubt he's the breadwinner in our family But his wife is so rude, too authoritative, she's full of pride and she looks down on people. She see everyone as her employee, she does not care if her actions or words hurts you, she's quick to slap at any slightest provocation. She's an event planner, please are event planners this rude??

She's the main reason why we barely visit our brother, despite we all live in the same city, we feel like a total stranger in our brother's house. Probably she's using "jazz" on him, I don't know But everything she does seems cool to him.

I managed to spend the weekend with them, since on friday she act like my presence irritates her. The maid prepared semo and vegetable soup, i don't eat swallow that like, so she saw me cooking noodles, she rudely said why're you not eating semo? Why are you people so selective? Then she left the kitchen. I just maintained my cool.

Yesterday she slapped her maid just because the plantain she told her to fry wasn't brown enough (maybe she wanted burnt sacrifice plantain). My elder brother calmly said honey you shouldn't have slapped her just becus of plaintain. The next she told my brother was "Defender!! go and marry her nw"

This morning, I jejely packed my belongings on my way to work, I entered my brother's car so he can drop me at the bus-stop, I just told him I won't be coming to his place anymore, once I'm done with work today I'm going home straight. And the annoying part, he would be asking me why? As if he's blind, he can't see how rude and ill-mannered his wife is.

His wife has really separated my brother from us, his own family. We don't even know what to do.

pocohantas:
His brother that is impregnating girls upandan, was he trained well? That is his brother’s spec. He is simply attracting the kind of reckless girls that are willing to be impromptu babymamas. Give your brother hot hot first or save the energy for your own home.

Ishilove:
Don't give up on your brother, biko. I see people saying "mind your business" as if it is so easy to watch your sibling going astray and keep silent. As for me, I kuku trust myself. I will give the woman hot hot hot because I refuse to be disrespected. If my brother likes he should misyarn but I will do what is in my mind, and that is, put a badly brought up little girl in her place. Since her parents did not train her, she will collect training from outsiders.

You see? Na why I like you.
You no dey for eye service. You no dey look face talk your mind.

I don kukuma give my brothers heads up; make them no even dare carry any woman wey go bring separation among them.
My own be say na the leg wey you bring come, I go take follow you.

Mariangeles:
You see? Na why I like you.
You no dey for eye service. You no dey look face talk your mind.

I don kukuma give my brothers heads up; make them no even dare carry any woman wey go bring separation among them.
My own be say na the leg wey you bring come, I go take follow you.

Kobojunkie:
Do you attack the women when the obvious problem is your brother?

Shegzdave:
Aunty,please be calming down.

Mariangeles:
Do you want to deny that some women can be manipulative?

pocohantas:
So two badly behaved women manipulated one man into babydaddyhood?

Just imagine it was his sister that got pregnant twice for two crackheads.

Mariangeles:
I'm talking about my brothers.

Mariangeles:
Do you want to deny that some women can be manipulative?

Kobojunkie:
Some men are also manipulative but that is besides the point. Why attack the women when the one who chose them, flaws and all, is your brother?

Mariangeles:
Are you asking me or Aboyaji?