aboyaji:
In our place, we have culture and tradition. You must call people to order when necessary. What makes one responsible? You think it's by growing mouthstache and pubic hair? Or typing away online that does?

Why do we have elders in the family?

He is my brother. Even though he's got his choice to make, the spirits must know you contributed your quota in helping your own when he was about going astray.

Pls go listen to THE GAMBLER by late Kenny Rogers

bigjackass:
Mind your business and don't go to their house unless necessary. Everyone has their own life to live and your brother has chosen his wife already.

Nairaland is a funny place though. Assuming a guy was the one complaining about his brother's wife, the responses would be different in favor of how the wife is a witch and the husband is a simp

that's because it's boys that will responding and would put themselves in the op shoe but now it's girls that are responding and are rather comparing themselves to the wife because that's what they will also do. I once heard one of elder sisters saying she hope her future husband doesn't have a mother

Rachel98:
Good morning everyone. Hope we're having a wonderful week.

My Elder brother is doing well, no doubt he's the breadwinner in our family But his wife is so rude, too authoritative, she's full of pride and she looks down on people. She see everyone as her employee, she does not care if her actions or words hurts you, she's quick to slap at any slightest provocation. She's an event planner, please are event planners this rude??

She's the main reason why we barely visit our brother, despite we all live in the same city, we feel like a total stranger in our brother's house. Probably she's using "jazz" on him, I don't know But everything she does seems cool to him.

I managed to spend the weekend with them, since on friday she act like my presence irritates her. The maid prepared semo and vegetable soup, i don't eat swallow that like, so she saw me cooking noodles, she rudely said why're you not eating semo? Why are you people so selective? Then she left the kitchen. I just maintained my cool.

Yesterday she slapped her maid just because the plantain she told her to fry wasn't brown enough (maybe she wanted burnt sacrifice plantain). My elder brother calmly said honey you shouldn't have slapped her just becus of plaintain. The next she told my brother was "Defender!! go and marry her nw"

This morning, I jejely packed my belongings on my way to work, I entered my brother's car so he can drop me at the bus-stop, I just told him I won't be coming to his place anymore, once I'm done with work today I'm going home straight. And the annoying part, he would be asking me why? As if he's blind, he can't see how rude and ill-mannered his wife is.

His wife has really separated my brother from us, his own family. We don't even know what to do.

You didn't tell us what your elder brother does you only told us he is a bread winner and the wife is an event planner , am just thinking maybe your elder brother wife is earning more than your brother that's why he doesn't seem to control that his wife

When a man unconditionally loves his wife, you people will call it jazz. But someday you also wish to be loved and supported by your husband. It's always women with the endless complaints.
It is their marriage, and what your brother did is the best. If he has to correct the wife, he will do it on his own time and in private. He doesn't have to do it in your presence to prove a point.


According to you, you are not a swallow person, and decided to make noodles. And you are angry she asked why you didn't eat the swallow. Do you know that you were meant to inform her before going to prepare noodles? Its her house, her kitchen, her rules. In as much as you have a choice to make, u cant just do whatever you like because it seats well with you.

The semo you refused to eat, who is going to eat it? Semo is one meal I do not do leftovers. If you didn't want to eat, what stops you from informing them beforehand?

You are also trying to interfere with how she runs her home or how she decides to treat her maid. I was beaten by my mum for flimsier reasons, no one saw it as maltreatment. If the maid was in fact her daughter, would you infare that she was being maltreated?

It is people like you that cause issues in marriages. Has your brother complained about not being happy? Your tone, choice of words and actions shows you do not like the woman, and may have even recruited other people to join you. That one is not enough. You now want your brother to see her the way you see her. Get a life sis.

Oga go bk to your house,every body get him problem.the woman is not using any jazz rather your brother is only using wisdom to protect his home from pple like you.

flington4550:
So disheartening...you guys go be Yoruba be that...have got an uncle going through almost the same thing but you let the woman know sey if craze dey her head na madness dey ya own head...I gave it to her hot hot and she composed herself...But for the sake of peace I stopped going to their house.
After all the wahala wey he dey give my uncle we lost him to suicide this time last year....

This is serious. Our mothers stay in extended family house and correction comes in different direction. If your brother is suffering stand up for him, it is better they name u marriage destroyer than you personally regret not saving the life of your brother.
PhD my foot. Humanity before anything

Blessedassuranc:



Lol... oga forget this your emotional talk and face reality. I speak from experience, LET YOUR BROTHER BE AND MAKE SURE YOU KILL EVERY EMOTIONS YOU HAVE FOR HIM FOR NOW OR ELSE YOU LL BE DROWNED IN HOS FOLLY... LET HIM SLEEP ON THE BED HE MAD FOR HIMSELF... YOU GO WOUND OOH OF YOU CONTINUE THIS WAY

BE WISE AND KNOW WHEN AMD WHERE TO DRAW YOUR LINE. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY... AND FYI, THIS ISNT YOUR BATTLE..MOREOVER HE IS YOUR ELDER AND I BET YOU, HE WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOU..

They won’t listen. They think they can handle the wife of a man who is still in love . Until the brother’s love for her dips, there is nothing you as a sibling would do that won’t burn you! If she isn’t fighting him or tearing his clothes in public, please leave them alone.

Why do Nigerian in-laws even feel it is until they invade their brother’s home that they are close? Why don’t they keep this energy with their married sisters? What if the brother is abroad? What if they are the ones abroad? I haven’t been to my brother’s house in a year, but we do video calls. Why must I go there to start cooking indomie and listening to their petty family squabbles?

Blessedassuranc:



Lol... oga forget this your emotional talk and face reality. I speak from experience, LET YOUR BROTHER BE AND MAKE SURE YOU KILL EVERY EMOTIONS YOU HAVE FOR HIM FOR NOW OR ELSE YOU LL BE DROWNED IN HOS FOLLY... LET HIM SLEEP ON THE BED HE MAD FOR HIMSELF... YOU GO WOUND OOH OF YOU CONTINUE THIS WAY

BE WISE AND KNOW WHEN AMD WHERE TO DRAW YOUR LINE. CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY... AND FYI, THIS ISNT YOUR BATTLE..MOREOVER HE IS YOUR ELDER AND I BET YOU, HE WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOU..

Wait let me address you properly based on your opinion.

It is only a fool that doesn't heed to GOOD advise from a younger person just because of age difference.

I have 2 younger ones. Out of us 6, they prefer talking with me most. My younger sister talks to me as though I was her twin. Her twin is there but she chose me. I ALWAYS seek counsel from her. When she speaks, I listen. Then, I make decision on case by case basis. She's the only woman in the world that calls me for 2hr each time we talk. We talk over the phone too well. We could talk today, tomorrow, next. And we must exhaust at least 1hr 45 mins. When I'm less busy, we talk for 4hrs. She does the calling.

That's how humble I can be. I listen to my younger ones very well, because, they need me in their life.

Same leg my younger brother’s girlfriend was bringing... well I talked sense into both of them... now she calm and respectful... truth is you don’t have to fold your hands and watch things go wrong in the disguise of minding your business...

My own bro,runs from his house like a plague. Wife and Mother want give am High blood pressure.

Don't be over nice to women,it is weakness.
As a Man from day one,let the Woman know where she stands.
Because after then.... All u can do is damage control.

Kobojunkie:
Again, regardless of how close you two were or are, the fact remains that he chose this woman as his wife.

In marriage, a man abandons his father and mother, siblings as well, and enters an agreement with the woman he chooses to start his own family with. Your brother has become one entity with this woman and you are required even by law to respect that.

Yes, I am guessing you were both born from the same womb, at different times, but he now has a family and life of his own, a[b]nd is no longer your responsibility[/b]. If you can't see this, then I am afraid the problem isn't the woman but you.

I have a question. You said he "is no longer his responsibility". Take a scenario where this man is poisoned or he commits a suicide due to frustration, whose responsibility does he become ?. The woman will take a walk, but the family will always stick around no matter how bad.

There has to be a fine balance. The woman's strategy is to make every other family members stay away while she has him to herself to do as she pleases.

Rachel98:
Good morning everyone. Hope we're having a wonderful week.

My Elder brother is doing well, no doubt he's the breadwinner in our family But his wife is so rude, too authoritative, she's full of pride and she looks down on people. She see everyone as her employee, she does not care if her actions or words hurts you, she's quick to slap at any slightest provocation. She's an event planner, please are event planners this rude??

She's the main reason why we barely visit our brother, despite we all live in the same city, we feel like a total stranger in our brother's house. Probably she's using "jazz" on him, I don't know But everything she does seems cool to him.

I managed to spend the weekend with them, since on friday she act like my presence irritates her. The maid prepared semo and vegetable soup, i don't eat swallow that like, so she saw me cooking noodles, she rudely said why're you not eating semo? Why are you people so selective? Then she left the kitchen. I just maintained my cool.

Yesterday she slapped her maid just because the plantain she told her to fry wasn't brown enough (maybe she wanted burnt sacrifice plantain). My elder brother calmly said honey you shouldn't have slapped her just becus of plaintain. The next she told my brother was "Defender!! go and marry her nw"

This morning, I jejely packed my belongings on my way to work, I entered my brother's car so he can drop me at the bus-stop, I just told him I won't be coming to his place anymore, once I'm done with work today I'm going home straight. And the annoying part, he would be asking me why? As if he's blind, he can't see how rude and ill-mannered his wife is.

His wife has really separated my brother from us, his own family. We don't even know what to do.

Lol...this is what you'll likely do when you marry your own husband...you wont see it until you marry your husband and start fighting his relatives she also likely complained like you about her own brother's wife

Rachel98:
I'm nice to her, sometimes I try to bring up things we could just talk about, but she replies me like I'm forcing her to talk.

She's too full of herself, probably because she's a PhD holder. Honestly I don't understand.

You don't need to go there or be rude to her to humble her. Set trap and wait one dey she go use her hand fall her own hand. Lol.

Pompous prick thinking she is better than everyone. I pity her maid sha dey slap person pikin any how.

aboyaji:
Wait let me tell you what you don't know. I may have made a mistake quoting you. You don't sound learned in this discourse.

He is my brother. I am closest to him. I am not the type of adult that sits around doing nothing when things are going out of hand. I am very much responsible in his life because he is my brother. Get it?

Bro, you are right! Guy doesn't sound learned.
You're your brother's keeper.
What if you heard that your brother is being beaten to death by his wife? Won't you run and rescue him?

Rachel98:
I'm nice to her, sometimes I try to bring up things we could just talk about, but she replies me like I'm forcing her to talk.

She's too full of herself, probably because she's a PhD holder. Honestly I don't understand.

PhD wow. That one loud gan

Yinkakolawole:
That`s how you too gonna be if you get married & your husband siblings are coming to ya place to stay, or for a visit. Majority of you Women always like to act strange to ya husband family members after getting married to them..

Thank you. Very very right. Any over Sabi woman like de o .p will end u like dat. Na Woman way tear eye like o.p de do all dis things. Ask o.p of she has de fear of God in her

aboyaji:


Wait lete address you properly based on your opinion.

It is only a fool that doesn't heed to GOOD advise from a younger person just because of age difference.

I have 2 younger ones. Out of us 6, they prefer talking with me most. My younger sister talks to me as though I was her twin. Her twin is there but she chose me. I ALWAYS seek counsel from her. When she speaks, I listen. Then, I make decision on case by case basis. She's the only woman in the world that calls me for 2hr each time we talk. We talk over the phone too well. We could talk today, tomorrow, next. And we must exhaust at least 1hr 45 mins. When I'm less busy, we talk for 4hrs. She does the calling.

That's how humble I can be. I listen to my younger ones very well, because, they need me in their life.

Oga pls enough of this your emotional epistle. People are nt same and i bet you, you re about to start up something you ll regret of you continue this way
You ve advised him . Let him be now amd if you kust continue, make sure you go line your pocket with hood monies cos he wld soon be drained and uou ll be his next shell pipe and you ll most likely get drained if not worse off than he is..

What God has join together let no one put assunder, stay away from them if u can't withstand her behavior, nothing like juju here Op, that is her just natural behavior and she was not a pretender type, they are very kind , talkative, they don't care what anybody said about them ,very hardworking ,but hardly to take to correction ,but they are very kindly .Thake ur time to understand her better u would be her best friend and enjoy her for life as best in law.

Rachel98:
...., he would be asking me why? As if he's blind, he can't see how rude and ill-mannered his wife is.

His wife has really separated my brother from us, his own family. We don't even know what to do.

Just tell your brother ther reason na.

Kobojunkie:
Regardless of your opinions of this girl, it really isn't your place to tell your brother who he can or who he can't marry or keep as wife. This is your brother's business that you keep trying to make yours.

Your brother knows the way out of the relationship if that is what he desires, so leave him and mind your own life and business please.

Yes, he is your brother but the moment he decided to hitch his trailer with this woman, he ceased primarily as your brother and became this woman's partner. You really ought to respect that.

Exactly , he sounds so entitled that his opinion must count

That guy needs to see a shrink

vickydevoka:

Thank you. Very very right. Any over Sabi woman like de o .p will end u like dat. Na Woman way tear eye like o.p de do all dis things. Ask o.p of she has de fear of God in her

Lmao. You guys are cracking me up. Which one is fear of God?

[s]

aboyaji:




Some people are not well raised.

I had sometime last year sat my brother down. He's older than I am o. No be taata.

I told him it's still early to end this thing with that girl since he's yet to pay her bride price. Girl that makes him feel uneasy. Because she has your child. She calls to check where you are every minute.

There was a time she asked him to go home that it was late, while my brother was hanging out with friends. She wasn't in the same state with him o. Haha

She gets her phone subscribed every 2 days because she spends all her time online doing tiktok and video calls. This is not a hearsay or accusations. It is what's happening.

The same week she put to bed in her hometown, she asked for data money from my brother to post a new video she made while on wrappers in her house. She was even dancing. I said to myself, na wa o! A nursing mother?

I don't even view her post because it contains videos from tiktok. Na wife be this abi?

[/s]

Be silent and go and marry your own. You seem to pock nose into things that don't concern you.

You are a man not a woman! Learn to mind your business

Op una dey try oo....I can't even imagine myself going to live with a married relative no matter how close under thesame roof.

Way back When my elder brother completed his house and moved in with his wife and two kids then the wife's sisters visits regularly they spend some days atimes weeks ....there was nothing my brother did not beg me with to come and stay with him....Omo I refused oo, I'd rather stay in my father's house and receive insults than have anybody look down on me...the wife even joined him to ask me to come...I blunt told them No.

Before you know it...you'll be hearing can't you clean this house...please gaan wash the plates, you're just lazy and all that crap...make I dey my papa house dey wash my mama pot, I'm not about pleasing anybody to be addressed a good boy.

Hammyaladin:
If she were a bit more science inclined, she'd be more calmer and accommodating...


As a behavioralist (if there's a word for that) she's probably marking her territory and making sure that she has more say in her home than any of your brothers family members.

For me as long as your brother doesn't give up his duty on you guys, They shouldn't be a course for alarm. Cause ur bro is in love and can go to war for it, Judging from how he doesn't confront her rude attitude!!

Good point.

[s]

aboyaji:
Wait let me tell you what you don't know. I may have made a mistake quoting you. You don't sound learned in this discourse.

He is my brother. I am closest to him. I am not the type of adult that sits around doing nothing when things are going out of hand. I am very much responsible in his life because he is my brother. Get it?

[/s]

No you are not. You sound like a village busy body

Mind your own damn business

If you know any Ghanaian, show them this forum

Unibenfucker74: Amazing . Nice business idea . Great Innovation in Gh

[s]

aboyaji:
In our place, we have culture and tradition. You must call people to order when necessary. What makes one responsible? You think it's by growing mouthstache and pubic hair? Or typing away online that does?

Why do we have elders in the family?

He is my brother. Even though he's got his choice to make, the spirits must know you contributed your quota in helping your own when he was about going astray.

[/s]

No disrespect sir but you may need to see a doctor

Rachel98:
Good morning everyone. Hope we're having a wonderful week.

My Elder brother is doing well, no doubt he's the breadwinner in our family But his wife is so rude, too authoritative, she's full of pride and she looks down on people. She see everyone as her employee, she does not care if her actions or words hurts you, she's quick to slap at any slightest provocation. She's an event planner, please are event planners this rude??

She's the main reason why we barely visit our brother, despite we all live in the same city, we feel like a total stranger in our brother's house. Probably she's using "jazz" on him, I don't know But everything she does seems cool to him.

I managed to spend the weekend with them, since on friday she act like my presence irritates her. The maid prepared semo and vegetable soup, i don't eat swallow that like, so she saw me cooking noodles, she rudely said why're you not eating semo? Why are you people so selective? Then she left the kitchen. I just maintained my cool.

Yesterday she slapped her maid just because the plantain she told her to fry wasn't brown enough (maybe she wanted burnt sacrifice plantain). My elder brother calmly said honey you shouldn't have slapped her just becus of plaintain. The next she told my brother was "Defender!! go and marry her nw"

This morning, I jejely packed my belongings on my way to work, I entered my brother's car so he can drop me at the bus-stop, I just told him I won't be coming to his place anymore, once I'm done with work today I'm going home straight. And the annoying part, he would be asking me why? As if he's blind, he can't see how rude and ill-mannered his wife is.

His wife has really separated my brother from us, his own family. We don't even know what to do.

Your brother is a victim of emotional abuse and like every man his ego will not allow him seek help or speak up.

You will need to talk sense into him and get him to open up.

its your brothers family...his wife and business....he is not complaining


you should leave their house and don't be stupid

aboyaji:
In our place, we have culture and tradition. You must call people to order when necessary. What makes one responsible? You think it's by growing mouthstache and pubic hair? Or typing away online that does?

Why do we have elders in the family?

He is my brother. Even though he's got his choice to make, the spirits must know you contributed your quota in helping your own when he was about going astray.

Why do you sound like some1 I would love to be friends with? These days, very few can differentiate between right and wrong. Kudos to you

[Chief adviser, so marriage to you is suppose to stop siblings from visiting each other abi? If any woman called my wife is not comfortable seeing my siblings and family members visit home, no member of her family should dare come close to my street not to talk of my house.quote author=dollytino4repost=109442503]Let her be! Stay ur lane to avoid bashing and biting,,call ur brother on phone incstead of going there, [/quote]

aboyaji:


She is not yet a wife, Oga. She is a baby mama for crying out loud. Her type is not entertained in our family, hence my advice to him.

Did you hear me say I was advising our 3rd brother? No. Because he has a nicer WIFE. I call her children my children. That's how we live in our family. When they had issues, the lady ran to us and we CHANGE AM FOR MY BROTHER, STRAIGHT UP!!!

Who will the second brother's woman run to in hard times? Me? Our only daughter? Or mom whom the lady warned my brother not to spend more than 4hrs with while visiting her for the first time in the East? Imagine traveling from the north central to meet your mother in-law to be for the first time and could not pass the night but rather spent more days in the neighboring town doing nothing?

Na that mother in-law go send you?

By which law? Baby mamas can easily be put away. Make hay while the sun shines. That's it.

Bro don't mind that kid mind you're quoting.

You've done the right thing by calling your brother to order.

Na all this "mind your business", "nobody owes you anything", and " it's his choice" spoil our society today.

What we breed today are irresponsible with no sense of responsibility and belonging.