I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

Na wao...

Na your fault. You saw all the red flags during courtship, but you neglected it. Your only concern was...
she carry back
she carry front.
She too package
I can't leave
The more reason why I can't leave her..
Now, see where it has landed you to. Barely one year marriage heading for divorce

Any advise people gives you here may not work again, since you had tried all you could to restore peace to no avail. And from the beginning, nothing like Peace @all. Because, 30% peace is not Worth it. Report it to God. perhaps, "him go dey merciful 2u help you arrange your marriage back". Then, even God warned you by showing you red flags, but you choose to turn deaf ears.


See to be honest with you, humanly speaking or from human point of view, it appears it's done and dusted. She has even told you to go and have sex outside if you wish, which means she can go and have sex elsewhere too if she so desire. That's if she never start having sex outside. The one that breaks the camel's back is that, "her parents are fully in support of her".
Maybe them don see one bigman way wan marry their daughter wey don start to dey shower them money.

Cheers...

It's okay bro... I understand how you feel. I've seen similar things from my wife.
Lemme ask you this, does your wife attend the same church with you? If yes, then the two of you have to go back to your pastor for counseling.

Second, don't ever report your wife to your family or even her own family. If she tells you to give her space, politely leave her to her wish. If she decides to leave the house on her own, don't force her to stay.

Before I forget, don't pity or pamper her anymore. Her kind of woman does not like a soft hearted man, it irritates them especially when it comes to being decisive. You have an obligation to control your home; your wife inclusive.
Too bad you married someone who's not ready for marriage.

BRO BE BRUTAL AND BLUNT WITH HER, SHE CANNOT GO ANYWHERE. YOU ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE NOW; SHEY YOU SAY SHE JUST BORN? SO NO WORRY, HER HEAD GO REACH HOUSE WHEN YOU STOP TO PET HER.

Hmm..

The problem is that you don’t have money

No Nigerian in-law supports his/her daughter against a rich in-law.

They thought you had prospects.

They thought things will turn out for good for you so you will be wiring them with money but it seems the reverse has been the case.

About your wife, she has divorced you psychologically and I suggest you do same physically by putting pen to papers and granting her the freedom she seeks.

Stop allowing her be in the driver’s seat in the whole fracas, she has occupied it for too long, take up the driver’s seat, go on offensive, sit her down and tell her that you have decided to grant her the divorce she’s looking for and if her attitude doesn’t change, sincerely, then go ahead with the divorce and let her go and focus on yourself and making money.

10 years from today she will look back and regret treating you like shit.

My 2 cents!

Post partum trauma... Deficiency of DHA

She will come around

No matter, what you do, It is not going to work.

I think at this moment, you should seperate from her.

Ajens1991:
It's okay bro... I understand how you fell. I've seen similar things from my wife.

How were you able to go about it. I mean, how were you able to win her back to yourself.

Crazy things are happening.

Same thing happened recently to me, but mine is we ain't married yet.

My brother. It's only God that can save your marriage. The moment a woman doesn't care about how you feel about her anymore, that relationship is as good as dead.

I'll advise you summon courage to ignore her for weeks or leave home for days. If she doesn't call you, start preparing for divorce.

I pray God intervenes

Bring ur girlfriend(s) home

Penguin2:
Do you have money?

I work in a private fim and I'm okay in my own little way. I am the one providing the essentials at home coz wifey gat no job 4 now.

bro,I suggest you two see a counselor...because you can't get proper advise and solution when it's just you that's been advised...her part of the issue is also important to hear.

Note: people do fall out of love at some point in marriages,but it takes communication,open mind and friendship to work back the love.

Just try to convince her to have a deep conversation with you,see a counselor if necessary..trust me,she has a lot in her head,but I feel she doesn't trust you enough to share it..either she feels you can't handle it or you may use it against her...


when a woman says nothing sometimes,it only means push harder and I will tell you or show much concern and love and I will tell you....

finally the solution to this problem lies in she telling you what's on her mind...good luck bro

She is treating you like that because she knows you are a "good man" and you no too get money

Women will tell you they need a good man, but when you are a good man and treat them nice they would disrespect you

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right. She gets offended easily, keeps malice and give me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all. Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE. I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me. She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them. B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present. Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.
NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining . She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

Was the bolded necessary

Pretty sure you would have rubbed this same sentence all over her face...


You are not complaining but yet you stated it in your post


Because of the bolded some won't even give you the advice you seek, they will end up insulting your wife


Good luck finding solution to your problem

Scopatumana

[quote author=Ajens1991 post=110807239]It's okay bro... I understand how you feel. I've seen similar things from my wife.
Lemme ask you this, does your wife attend the same church with you? If yes, then the two of you have to go back to your pastor for counseling.

Second, don't ever report your wife to your family or even her own family. If she tells you to give her space, politely leave her to her wish. If she decides to leave the house on her own, don't force her to stay.

Before I forget, don't pity or pamper her anymore. Her kind of woman does not like a soft hearted man, it irritates them especially when it comes to being decisive. You have an obligation to control your home; your wife inclusive.
Too bad you married someone who's not ready for marriage.

BRO BE BRUTAL AND BLUNT WITH HER, SHE CANNOT GO ANYWHERE. YOU ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE NOW; SHEY YOU SAY SHE JUST BORN? SO NO WORRY, HER HEAD GO REACH HOUSE WHEN YOU STOP TO PET HER.


Thanks for this piece of advice. I really appreciate.

Issues dey dis life aswear

Divorce her. No jokes.

Philip94:


I work in a private fim and I'm okay in my own little way. I am the one providing the essentials at home coz wifey gat no job 4 now.

I guess your “little” way is not enough for your wife and her parents except they have something else against you.

Another thing I’m seeing is that you married someone you love and not someone that loves you.

Possibly you were led by her beauty and you sadly ignored the absence of mental connection between the both of you which is what has gotten worse now.

I don’t know what happens between you and your wife from here, but when next you are looking for a wife to settle down with, make sure she’s your gist mate.

Make sure you guys have the same world view; same convictions about life.

Make sure the woman genuinely cares about you and not somebody you chased for years.

Beauty should come distant last.

Do you believe in God?

Have you prayed about this challenge?

If Yes,did you get an answer?

I don't believe in partners frustrating each other in an agreed (consensual) relationship knowing fully no one was coerced.

If you have done your best and after patiently praying and she is still not cooperating fully, it therefore means she has interests that mainly lie outside your best efforts and natural presentation.

I will think you must take the control and ask her to leave.Your sanity is more important than whatever she has to prove.

madridguy:

The shit ain't funny bro.

Candidlady:



Was the bolded necessary

Pretty sure you would have rubbed this same sentence all over her face...


You are not complaining but yet you stated it in your post


Because of the bolded some won't even give you the advice you seek, they will end up insulting your wife


Good luck finding solution to your problem

I never did that. The boldened words is not from me coz I don't even know how to do it. I guess it's auto.

What were those abusive words you said to her that she's finding hard to let go? You didn't state them so we can know how bad it is. Some words can be very damaging and difficult to forget, you know?

Again, was she really into you before marriage or it was a case of pregnancy "induced" Marriage? I mean if you truly love someone, no matter what, you'll forgive them, especially if it's someone you're spending the rest of your life with. I doubt if she really loves you.

Just call and ask her what she wants? If she's not willing to go on with the marriage, let her say. If it's time apart she needs, then let one of you take a trip for some time so that by the time you get back, the love will have rekindled through missing each other.
Some times, "see finish" can cause this of thing where couples just grow tired of each other.

[quote author=densiks post=110808140]Do you believe in God?

Have you prayed about this challenge?

If Yes,did you get an answer?

I don't believe in partners frustrating each other in an agreed (consensual) relationship knowing fully no one was coerced.

If you have done your best and after patiently praying and she is still not cooperating fully, it therefore means she has interests that mainly lie outside your best efforts and natural presentation.

I will think you must take the control and ask her to leave.Your sanity is more important than whatever she has to prove.


Thanks man. Do you have an idea of how many months duration I should give her to behave b4 I call it quit.

Go and get another apartment and leave home for her. Do not expect her call, you don't need it.

Candidlady:



Was the bolded necessary

Pretty sure you would have rubbed this same sentence all over her face...


You are not complaining but yet you stated it in your post


Because of the bolded some won't even give you the advice you seek, they will end up insulting your wife


Good luck finding solution to your problem

It's necessary to state it. She isn't bringing anything to the the table in any way. No money, no honey now no sex and you are asking if it's necessary. The way you young ladies of nowadays dey reason gets one worried. If she is tired of the marriage, she should divorce him and walk away. She should stop depending on him when she ain't giving anything in return. What nonsense... Is he United Nations?

Penguin2:


I guess your “little” way is not enough for your wife and her parents except they have something else against you.

Another thing I’m seeing is that you married someone you love and not someone that loves you.

Possibly you were led by her beauty and you sadly ignored the absence of mental connection between the both of you which is what has gotten worse now.

I don’t know what happens between you and your wife from here, but when next you are looking for a wife to settle down with, make sure she’s your gist mate.

Make sure you guys have the same world view; same convictions about life.

Make sure the woman genuinely cares about you and not somebody you chased for years.

Beauty should come distant last.

The last line spoiled everything.

I don't know why you believe beautiful women are evil. Funny thing is, the woman in question might not be beautiful.

Are you a man at all? Do you follow any of the advice men gave you previously?
Let me copy and paste one of the comments.

Bro present day woman no like man wey dey do sme sme!!!

Shout for her head make you threaten to boycott her and her food for the time being unless she change.

And if she no change become more aggressive towards anything that concerns her!!

What she sow she must reap!!!

Once you see say she don calm down, bring her close and take her out but don’t let that be your only joker.

Change tactics from time to time

Philip94:


The shit ain't funny bro.

IF you're a weak man in 2022, in Nigeria, you deserve every punishment you get from a woman.

It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

Imagine a man saying this over a woman he can replace in 12 hours.

Give her space if she want some. It's hard to please that gender. Don't kill yourself over a woman.
At least give her some time to feel the connection again and sack her if you catch her cheating. Note the time and date of your future sex with her to avoid DNA stuffs