Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

Abeg free the babe jor before something terrible (God forbid) will happen

If you had left during dating/courtship,many would have queried why you wasted her time all in the name of dating.

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

You try your best and she felt your best is not enough!

You don't know if she has other guy out there!

Her parents are backing her to keep hurting your feelings!

You take care of the family all the time!

Did you do a court wedding?

Are you rich?

I need answers pls

Israeldan1:
Hmm some men are so blind....


Your wife has been giving u the red flag since
Meaning she doesn't want to do anything with u any more

And you are still doing the man is good chai!

Oga when u go get sense....





The only way to get her attracted back

Ignore all wat she's doing.

Provide for your son

If possible provide for her as well only for food o

Don't always b at home atleast once in awhile leave home for days.

Play like there is no issue btw u and her

Just gv her the space

Don't have conversation with her

But you can ask about your son


Do this for long like a month and half


Trust me she will come talking to u and still ignore her
She will call up a meeting and you get her fully back

You can call me to gv me the feed back or chat me up on WhatsApp 09094281482

All this might work but the moment he reverts to his old self,she will loose interest again....trust me Kos I have been there
Its better he cuts her off than playing all this manipulative games with her...

My brother, I understand your predicament,
But, you can have a solution
I know you're not measure up financially
But with God, all things are possible
Firstly, stand again any spiritual forces, secondly, increase your financial power by get other source of income
And finally, spend more on her and provide assistance when needed, don't request for sex she will look for you
From my personal experience, (wisdom from God)

Candidlady:



Was the bolded necessary

Pretty sure you would have rubbed this same sentence all over her face...


You are not complaining but yet you stated it in your post


Because of the bolded some won't even give you the advice you seek, they will end up insulting your wife


Good luck finding solution to your problem

He answered all the questionS that would be asked by the viewer...so whats wrong with that?? Ur matter tire me.

You forced her to marry you that's where you lost the negotiation. Bear whatever you are going through

My brother, since her mind has changed, allow her to go, because one day she may change her mind to kill you.

Women think negative always in time like this, so your life is important for now, since she told you that you can go easy where and have sex? She doesn't care about you any more.

( before your wedding una be cat and dog, up till now you guy's till be cat and dog. Maybe you forced her to marry you in the beginning, and she's not loved you from the one she just the pretend ) tell her that she is free too to go back to her parents or any where she likes. And you focus well and make more money.

[quote author=Mercychen post=110808528] What were those abusive words you said to her that she's finding hard to let go? You didn't state them so we can know how bad it is. Some words can be very damaging and difficult to forget, you know?

Again, was she really into you before marriage or it was a case of pregnancy "induced" Marriage? I mean if you truly love someone, no matter what, you'll forgive them, especially if it's someone you're spending the rest of your life with. I doubt if she really loves you.

Just call and ask her what she wants? If she's not willing to go on with the marriage, let her say. If it's time apart she needs, then let one of you take a trip for some time so that by the time you get back, the love will have rekindled through missing each other.
Some times, "see finish" can cause this of thing where couples just grow tired of each other.




Does it really matters
Quarrel na quarrel

Ajens1991:
It's okay bro... I understand how you feel. I've seen similar things from my wife.
Lemme ask you this, does your wife attend the same church with you? If yes, then the two of you have to go back to your pastor for counseling.

Second, don't ever report your wife to your family or even her own family. If she tells you to give her space, politely leave her to her wish. If she decides to leave the house on her own, don't force her to stay.

Before I forget, don't pity or pamper her anymore. Her kind of woman does not like a soft hearted man, it irritates them especially when it comes to being decisive. You have an obligation to control your home; your wife inclusive.
Too bad you married someone who's not ready for marriage.

BRO BE BRUTAL AND BLUNT WITH HER, SHE CANNOT GO ANYWHERE. YOU ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE NOW; SHEY YOU SAY SHE JUST BORN? SO NO WORRY, HER HEAD GO REACH HOUSE WHEN YOU STOP TO PET HER.

good point. Some men are not man enough. Don't over love a woman. She won't respect you. Be a man. Imagine if Lot over loved his wife, both of them would have turned to salt. Selah!

Work on yourself see that you really change for the better, do it to fight for your marriage, leave her alone I believe her mind will come down. I believe she want to see how you can handle this without her effort. When she seems friendly again talk about it and make sure you involve a counselor.. It will be well in your home!

[s]

Ajens1991:
It's okay bro... I understand how you feel. I've seen similar things from my wife.
Lemme ask you this, does your wife attend the same church with you? If yes, then the two of you have to go back to your pastor for counseling.

Second, don't ever report your wife to your family or even her own family. If she tells you to give her space, politely leave her to her wish. If she decides to leave the house on her own, don't force her to stay.

Before I forget, don't pity or pamper her anymore. Her kind of woman does not like a soft hearted man, it irritates them especially when it comes to being decisive. You have an obligation to control your home; your wife inclusive.
Too bad you married someone who's not ready for marriage.

BRO BE BRUTAL AND BLUNT WITH HER, SHE CANNOT GO ANYWHERE. YOU ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE NOW; SHEY YOU SAY SHE JUST BORN? SO NO WORRY, HER HEAD GO REACH HOUSE WHEN YOU STOP TO PET HER.

[/s]

Worst advice ever...

Nothing ruins marriage faster than all these pastors

It's simple, if she feels that way, why continue in the marriage?


Do you want us to beg her? She rescents you for reasons best known to both of you which I suspect you are culpable as well. But if she on her part cannot move past it, then I see no reason why you should force that marriage.


You can't live like that, it's not even advisable to raise kids in such a toxic environment.I know you might want to keep the marriage for the sake of society ,but what about you? What about your mental health?

For a woman to say that ,she has gone far , trying to placate her will only make her irritated with you. Respect yourself and ask for a separation for the now. You both need to stay away from each other before it gets worse. Fustration can set in and escalate things even further.

Stay way from each other and see if distance can make her heart become fonder of you once again.

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

Give her a break, leave the house for her for a couple of weeks , she might miss your presence and start calling, at that point, you can plan a vacation with her, vacation outside the state you live in, if you have the money you can even take her outside the country to this small small peaceful west African countries like Benin republic they have beautiful resort, it's not that expensive to travel there for vacation

Its necessary to state so it can be understood that she's not stressed and how ungrateful she is. Besides, is that the only thing you saw, looking for fault like the man's wife?

Candidlady:



Was the bolded necessary

Pretty sure you would have rubbed this same sentence all over her face...


You are not complaining but yet you stated it in your post


Because of the bolded some won't even give you the advice you seek, they will end up insulting your wife


Good luck finding solution to your problem

I have observed that about 80percent of men that their love is greater than their wife love always have problem in marriage, before I marry my wife, she see me as her second god she loves everything about me, whenever I offend her, once I tell her am sorry she will forget everything, same with me.

OP, help us help you.

You did't even tell us what the issue is. You have presented your wife as this horrible human who's out to make your life miserable. You made light of any fault on your side. You repeatedly said she's unforgiving, but you didn't tell us those things you do or did that she's angry about. It's one thing to say sorry, it's another thing to keep doing whatever it is you did. Judging by the write-up alone, we'd tell you to quit the loveless marriage already (we'd forget about you the moment we leave this thread). Is that what you want to hear? We all know it might not be that simple.

If you shared this story to get moral support for whatever actions you've taken or plan to take, then you're doing great. But if you shared it to get a solution, then you'll need to be open about what you're doing wrong. She might be a terrible person but a woman who accepted to marry you can't just wake up to say she's got no love for you anymore for the fun it. We need to view the situation from her perspective to get to the root cause, but sadly, your story doesn't give us anything to work with. It's just all about what she's doing wrong (the same thing you accuse her of).

When did it start? What led to it? What did you say or do? How did she react? How did you settle it? Was there really a closure? Give us something to work with. Just saying your wife is unforgiving, holds malice, etc. Simply means you brought this here to get validation for your own malice and not to get any solution.

First seems she doesn't really love you or is seeing someone, she may have made a mistake with the marriage and wants out. First, go for DNA test on the baby, there's a huge chance it's not your child.

Secondly, man up!, Women do not like indecisive men or men who appear to be weak and soft. You must take charge , don't pet her or pamper her, do your own role as a provider and ensure she does her bit by force.

Next, since she has asked you to seek sex outside,I fear she's also doing the same, do as she wants, seek sex outside to satisfy your urge. Seize her phone and find out who is fvking your wife, if you do, divorce and move on!

Are you a man at all. Let her go her way. Why disturb yourself over a woman who has already made up her mind.

Why young man. Una go see woman wey no suppose marry una go rush am. There is no love and there won't be any love

HarunaWest:
Its necessary to state it. She isn't bringing anything to the the table in anyway. No money, no honey now no sex and you saying is it necessary. The way you young ladies of nowadays thinks gets one worried. If she is tired of the marriage, she should divorce him and walk away not depending on him and she ain't giving anything in return. What nonsense... Is he United Nations?

Well replied

That ur first paragraph just explained my ex gf. Plus she's so manipulative. If she annoys me, I quickly forgave her but if I do something she doesn't like, omoh days and weeks we still dey talk abt m. It was painful we broke because I loved her so much but I thank God make person no come stab me for my sleep. Things way I do for that babe eh, I never do 20% in this my current relationship. AVOID JULY BORN in serious relationship

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

sir,
If I describe how much pain I am feeling after reading this story of yours, you won't believe me.
I am feeling pain not because of your wife's attitude, but because of your own prudish attitude towards your wife.

How can you be so overly tolerant of your wife's toxicity. It sounds like you're afraid to exercise authority of someone you brought into your own life.

For me, the best to do at this point is to divorce her.

But if you don't want to quit now, start behaving more authoritarian towards her. Stop giving a damn about her, since she doesn't care about you. Stop trying to make the marriage work(one person can't achieve that)
Let her see that you don't need her to be complete or happy. Don't demand sex from her.

If she still doesn't change divorce her totally.

Philip94:


I work in a private fim and I'm okay in my own little way. I am the one providing the essentials at home coz wifey gat no job 4 now.

Broda philp Nigeria parents don't respect private fim workers only computer ��️ workers aka Big Y

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

women can be crazy for different reason . But most times dey say things they don’t mean and attyms Dey could mean dem . If your wife na talk and do then you have to leave her to do her wish , els you might regret holding her back . Give her sometime , don’t tell anybody that you both know about it , jus let it slide , if she comes around good but if she doesn’t and u force her it can’t end well .

Truth is she is fucking another man, first becareful so you don't father a bastard.

Secondly, suggest you both see a counsellor, pastor or any reasonable elder, discuss from the origin if you can't remember where things spoil.

Thirdly, check if what's wrong is not post-patum trauma, you both should meet a metal health expert.

If all this fails, drive her out to meet the parents, but never sign a divorce paper. Take your baby from her, hire a Nanny. If after like a year she doest come back.

Mueve on, she doesn't deserve you
Ashawo still da her eye

Go and do Paternity test 1st to ascertain the authenticity of the child she claimed she had for you fess

Cut your losses early before children come and you will now have bigger losses.

Go get sex outside simple

dawnomike:
Post partum trauma... Deficiency of DHA

She will come around

English,she knows all she's doing.

I have been married for awhile now but some of the marriage issues I read here, like this thread, leaves me wondering the kind of men we now have, and how people go about making the choice of a life partner.

Two cannot walk together except they be agreed. We keep the table together or we scatter it together. It's a great burden for one partner, whether the husband or wife, to be doing ALL the work for a marriage or relationship to work.

Op, take charge of your marriage. Do your best to save it. While at it, don't be the aggressor and make sure you don't become the victim.

Best wishes.

Until I hear from your wife before I can make a conclusion

Rinoxy:

Like seriously?!

If you are you can afford anyone or anything, why beat a dead horse, you want to force her or beg her to love you?