What if he his not the father of the child.
Inside life

Ajens1991:
It's okay bro... I understand how you feel. I've seen similar things from my wife.
Lemme ask you this, does your wife attend the same church with you? If yes, then the two of you have to go back to your pastor for counseling.

Second, don't ever report your wife to your family or even her own family. If she tells you to give her space, politely leave her to her wish. If she decides to leave the house on her own, don't force her to stay.

Before I forget, don't pity or pamper her anymore. Her kind of woman does not like a soft hearted man, it irritates them especially when it comes to being decisive. You have an obligation to control your home; your wife inclusive.
Too bad you married someone who's not ready for marriage.

BRO BE BRUTAL AND BLUNT WITH HER, SHE CANNOT GO ANYWHERE. YOU ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE NOW; SHEY YOU SAY SHE JUST BORN? SO NO WORRY, HER HEAD GO REACH HOUSE WHEN YOU STOP TO PET HER.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it.

The woman is already fed up with the marriage, get a divorce and let the marriage rest she will regret it later, this is the kind of woman that will run back begging ...

I just wish to hear the woman side..

densiks:
Do you believe in God?

Have you prayed about this challenge?

If Yes,did you get an answer?

I don't believe in partners frustrating each other in an agreed (consensual) relationship knowing fully no one was coerced.

If you have done your best and after patiently praying and she is still not cooperating fully, it therefore means she has interests that mainly lie outside your best efforts and natural presentation.

I will think you must take the control and ask her to leave.Your sanity is more important than whatever she has to prove.

He won’t get an answer. A couple’s therapist on the other hand.

Philip94:


I never did that. The boldened words is not from me coz I don't even know how to do it. I guess it's auto.

My brother don't allow her to *emotional caged you more here, it was her that did the bolded words* is always their way of scouting for faults, do your best but remember your sanity matters alot, man up, wear the Alph male cap henceforth for ur sanity if truly all u said here is true, though we haven't heard from the 2nd party

naija4life247:
Go and get another apartment and leave home for her. Do not expect her call, you don't need it.

You're wicked o! How she go take survive as she's not working. Ok! You dey reason family support abi?

Ajens1991:
It's okay bro... I understand how you feel. I've seen similar things from my wife.
Lemme ask you this, does your wife attend the same church with you? If yes, then the two of you have to go back to your pastor for counseling.

Second, don't ever report your wife to your family or even her own family. If she tells you to give her space, politely leave her to her wish. If she decides to leave the house on her own, don't force her to stay.

Before I forget, don't pity or pamper her anymore. Her kind of woman does not like a soft hearted man, it irritates them especially when it comes to being decisive. You have an obligation to control your home; your wife inclusive.
Too bad you married someone who's not ready for marriage.

BRO BE BRUTAL AND BLUNT WITH HER, SHE CANNOT GO ANYWHERE. YOU ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE NOW; SHEY YOU SAY SHE JUST BORN? SO NO WORRY, HER HEAD GO REACH HOUSE WHEN YOU STOP TO PET HER.

op, go with this.

Y’all are forgetting that women get married for security and because of societal pressure. What you call love 70% of the time leaves you stranded in a failing marriage.

You dey mad oh divorce her no time for nonsense I blame our stupid tradition after a divorce the would return just bride price when you spend almost 3m for the wedding.

yemmit90:


Honestly, you dont know the power you have as an husband. Except she is the one feeding you, I dont see the reason why any woman would be treating you like nobody in your house.

Please be opposite of what you are now, and see her coming back to her sense.

.... Don't mind them. After they must have sold their power and allow their wifes to take over the marriage wheels from them because of mere sweetness of pussy. They will come here and be crying like babies when their wifes starts showing them shege.

Any man who is not in control of his family is worst than an infidel.

I won't advise you, but this is what I would do just stop giving her attention, discover something else out of your marriage that can give you joy.

You happiness is more important.

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

Oga let her go if she want to go , you've tried your best ... I hate things like this ,Buncha unreasonable and selfish beings

Penguin2:
The problem is that you don’t have money

No Nigerian in-law supports his/her daughter against a rich in-law.

They thought you had prospects.

They thought things will turn out for good for you so you will be wiring them with money but it seems the reverse has been the case.

About your wife, she has divorced you psychologically and I suggest you do same physically by putting pen to papers and granting her the freedom she seeks.

Stop allowing her be in the driver’s seat in the whole fracas, she has occupied it for too long, take up the driver’s seat, go on offensive, sit her down and tell her that you have decided to grant her the divorce she’s looking for and if her attitude doesn’t change, sincerely, then go ahead with the divorce and let her go and focus on yourself and making money.

10 years from today she will look back and regret treating you like shit.

My 2 cents!

...am wit u bro...

hmmm....obviously u must av done or said something that has fallen below her expection!think deeply on what transpired between u which may be halftruth!though uv said u take care of all expenses but is she really satisfied with ur present status?think about it please!

Bro, I perfectly understand your pains and all that. But I must say that you are the architect of your problem. From the very beginning you saw the red flag and yet you went ahead with the marriage.
My father used to tell us that the greatest mistake any man can make in life is a mistake in marriage.
Well, for me I think this is the right time you should correct your wrong by filing for a divorce.

JooEeL:
Lol, and there was one thread yday asking the benefits of marriage and many there were saying 'marriage is sweet', 'this and that'...

Hmmn.

Why is it that the sweetness part of most marriages dont hit fp unlike the sour stories ?

Bro, let no one deceive you, marriage is sweet! If you get it right, and you yourself are 'right' its one of the best gifts that God gave to man and because of this, most marriages are strongly being attacked by the devil. That one has always hated God, man, and everything good so he is fighting tooth and nail to make sure as many marriages as possible fail! failed marriages and dysfunctional families are the bane of modern human existence and so many societal ills can be traced back to the failed marriages and families. The sooner we realize it, the better it is for us all then we will know how to cover our marriages from attacks if the devil. Only few people will understand what I am saying so its OK if you don't get it.
Udo.

Some Nigerian men are too weak as Bleep. The weakest set of assholes i have ever come across thats why nigerian ladies manipulates them as hell. Op,abeg go to hell with your simpson attitude,u idiot. Can u just imagine this man,ur wife said she no longer loves u and no more sex and u ran to nairaland with "help my wife bla bla bla".cant u just send her back to her people and live ur life like she never exist.guy abeg getatofhere

Crafteck1:
First things first, are you financially viable?

Like seriously?!

Let her go now, you love yourself first before others

Hezzyluv:
Na wao...

Na your fault. You saw all the red flags during courtship, but you neglected it. Your only concern was...
she carry back
she carry front.
She too package
I can't leave
The more reason why I can't leave her..
Now, see where it has landed you to. Barely one year marriage heading for divorce

Any advise people gives you here may not work again, since you had tried all you could to restore peace to no avail. And from the beginning, nothing like Peace @all. Because, 30% peace is not Worth it. Report it to God. perhaps, "him go dey merciful 2u help you arrange your marriage back".


See to be honest with you, humanly speaking or from human point of view, it appears it's done and dusted. She has even told you to go and have sex outside if you wish, which means she can go and have sex elsewhere too if she so desire. That's if she never start having sex outside. The one that breaks the camel's back is that, "her parents are fully in support of her".
Maybe them don see one bigman way wan marry their daughter wey don start to dey shower them money.

Cheers...

the bold parts, you are right. Some people no the hear word

Emychina:
Some Nigerian men are too weak as Bleep. The weakest set of assholes i have ever come across thats why nigerian ladies manipulates them as hell. Op,abeg go to hell with your simpson attitude,u idiot. Can u just imagine this man,ur wife said she no longer loves u and no more sex and u ran to nairaland with "help my wife bla bla bla".cant u just send her back to her people and live ur life like she never exist.guy abeg getatofhere

... God bless you.

This thing happens all the time.

Quite unfortunate you married someone's wife... No match found

Okonandmary:
No matter, what you do, It is not going to work.

I think at this moment, you should seperate from her.

I don't think so. That's too harsh for now

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

, if u don't have any child together. Congratulations,
I know it's painful but just assume that she is dead, start up again and move on. I wish you all the very best , some girls be like used car

@ Philip94

That na one of the mind games wey women like to play. It baffles me how u guys go into marriage without preparing for this.

My advice; ignore her completely, i mean completely. Like she doesn't even exist. Start dating another woman ASAP. Bring her occasionally to cook or gist with you at home. Be sure to do it in your "ex-wife" presence.

Do your thing separately. Don't even consider her when making any decision in the house. It'll show her that you've found another source of happiness and that she have already been replaced.

Torture her with this before you finally divorce her. E go hard for you but at the end you go laugh last.

Na you marry am. No be she marry you.

illicit:
Bring ur girlfriends home

haba na...

Klass99:


Richy I will box your ears o! I wasn't looking for male admirers or male validation. I have said it more than once on this forum that I don't like foolish women and we need to tell ourselves the truth as adults, whether male or female.

This is not a boast or show-off, but I do honest work for a living and I pay my bills myself, major bills like rent, the monthly service charge, I send a monthly allowance to my parents, etcetera. So, I understand that it is not easy to make money legitimately.

I don't imagine it is easier for responsible men who do right by their families, to make this money either. When you now have a decent man who is not slacking off and paying bills you benefit from as an adult, you still want to misbehave! I ask again, you dey ment?

Some weeks ago, I woke up to a credit alert of 20k from a male friend (money I didn't ask for) I called him to verify if it was an error, so I could send it back. He said no it wasn't an error, I should use the money and treat myself to something nice. I was so touched and grateful by his generosity because;

1. I understand the value of money and I respect anyone with a legit hustle.

2. For someone to gift you cash (even if it is 3k) they made a sacrifice to deny themselves of something, in order to give you that money. No one has free money lying around that they do not need.

3. I have been responsible for myself for so long, it felt good to be gifted cash with no strings attached to it.

Some married women have good men on a platter, who do right by them and their children but they ruin it with a bad and disrespectful attitude.

Imagine if this OP starts cheating now, this same woman will rain insults on single women like me, claiming we used jazz on her husband. Then she will start a 24 hour fasting and prayer programme disturbing heaven to restore her hubby/marriage.

As for the sister code, abeg ehn, the code does not apply to foolish women and you know I don't do herd mentality. Independent thinking is the secret sauce of my sweet life.

How do i believe u re a woman??

Abi, am confused, ahaa, woman no fit write this tin now

Ajens1991:
It's okay bro... I understand how you feel. I've seen similar things from my wife.
Lemme ask you this, does your wife attend the same church with you? If yes, then the two of you have to go back to your pastor for counseling.

Second, don't ever report your wife to your family or even her own family. If she tells you to give her space, politely leave her to her wish. If she decides to leave the house on her own, don't force her to stay.

Before I forget, don't pity or pamper her anymore. Her kind of woman does not like a soft hearted man, it irritates them especially when it comes to being decisive. You have an obligation to control your home; your wife inclusive.
Too bad you married someone who's not ready for marriage.

BRO BE BRUTAL AND BLUNT WITH HER, SHE CANNOT GO ANYWHERE. YOU ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE NOW; SHEY YOU SAY SHE JUST BORN? SO NO WORRY, HER HEAD GO REACH HOUSE WHEN YOU STOP TO PET HER.

You ended ur talk well but started terribly. You suggested they go to church for counseling. Menh I trust ordinary men to keep their private with women than so called pastors. Nearly all of them are fake.

When dey come to me, I see beyond them. There's absolutely nothing anybody can possibly tell me about them

Karleb:


The last line spoiled everything.

I don't know why you believe beautiful women are evil. Funny thing is, the woman in question might not be beautiful.

They are not evil...they believe the world revolves around them....90% of them.
They believe a man is privileged to marry them, so they should be worshiped.

I have seen this over and over again....

Bro am in the same shoe with you, I nearly broke her phone and she tore my o.k shirt��� she gives me attitude and many more which I can't say for sure.

Philip94:


I work in a private fim and I'm okay in my own little way. I am the one providing the essentials at home coz wifey gat no job 4 now.

the problem is simple.
You no get money!
Ur wife married for money but she does not like what she is seeing. Am sure she is very pretty and has a man somewhere who she wants.
My advice, separate from her before she gives u poison. Just leave the house with Ur properties and rent elsewhere. Tell her to inform u when she wants to remarry so that u can come claim your child