Mercychen:
What were those abusive words you said to her that she's finding hard to let go? You didn't state them so we can know how bad it is. Some words can be very damaging and difficult to forget, you know?

Again, was she really into you before marriage or it was a case of pregnancy "induced" Marriage? I mean if you truly love someone, no matter what, you'll forgive them, especially if it's someone you're spending the rest of your life with. I doubt if she really loves you.

Just call and ask her what she wants? If she's not willing to go on with the marriage, let her say. If it's time apart she needs, then let one of you take a trip for some time so that by the time you get back, the love will have rekindled through missing each other.
Some times, "see finish" can cause this of thing where couples just grow tired of each other.

u are correct here, I think they space each other for sometime.

obiekunie01
Bros dont worry we know you are not a woman
this is vawulence Pro max

Hezzyluv:
Na wao...

Na your fault. You saw all the red flags during courtship, but you neglected it. Your only concern was...
she carry back
she carry front.
She too package
I can't leave
The more reason why I can't leave her..
Now, see where it has landed you to. Barely one year marriage heading for divorce

Any advise people gives you here may not work again, since you had tried all you could to restore peace to no avail. And from the beginning, nothing like Peace @all. Because, 30% peace is not Worth it. Report it to God. perhaps, "him go dey merciful 2u help you arrange your marriage back". Then, even God warned you by showing you red flags, but you choose to turn deaf ears.


See to be honest with you, humanly speaking or from human point of view, it appears it's done and dusted. She has even told you to go and have sex outside if you wish, which means she can go and have sex elsewhere too if she so desire. That's if she never start having sex outside. The one that breaks the camel's back is that, "her parents are fully in support of her".
Maybe them don see one bigman way wan marry their daughter wey don start to dey shower them money.

Cheers...

bro
God bless you for this piece
During courtship with anybody
God will always give you the sign
If you neglect it

Your finished

Firstly you are good man. Your wife is not bad woman either. You just married someone who doesn't share same feelings with you.

Any woman you beg to marry, you will also beg to stay. It's so obvious she was not really into you before marriage.

You have done all you could so save the marriage. If she want to go, tell her in the face she can . Your son will be fine.This emotional torture must stop. All the best

Candidlady:



Was the bolded necessary

Pretty sure you would have rubbed this same sentence all over her face...


You are not complaining but yet you stated it in your post


Because of the bolded some won't even give you the advice you seek, they will end up insulting your wife


Good luck finding solution to your problem

Shut up
It's a fact!
How is that your problem?

The usual origin of problems like this is that, all you people usually have to offer and bring to the table is your private parts. And while you are even offering that to your so-called main man, you offer it to others too. This is the main reason why most you end up being miserable later in marriage.

An Ex is back... Emotionally detached from you bro.

Ajens1991:
It's okay bro... I understand how you feel. I've seen similar things from my wife.
Lemme ask you this, does your wife attend the same church with you? If yes, then the two of you have to go back to your pastor for counseling.

Second, don't ever report your wife to your family or even her own family. If she tells you to give her space, politely leave her to her wish. If she decides to leave the house on her own, don't force her to stay.

Before I forget, don't pity or pamper her anymore. Her kind of woman does not like a soft hearted man, it irritates them especially when it comes to being decisive. You have an obligation to control your home; your wife inclusive.
Too bad you married someone who's not ready for marriage.

BRO BE BRUTAL AND BLUNT WITH HER, SHE CANNOT GO ANYWHERE. YOU ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE NOW; SHEY YOU SAY SHE JUST BORN? SO NO WORRY, HER HEAD GO REACH HOUSE WHEN YOU STOP TO PET HER.

Sir
I’ll need ur help with some advice
How do I get in contact with you

Candidlady:



Was the bolded necessary

Pretty sure you would have rubbed this same sentence all over her face...


You are not complaining but yet you stated it in your post


Because of the bolded some won't even give you the advice you seek, they will end up insulting your wife


Good luck finding solution to your problem

You sounds jobless too

Let the food items at home finish, never replace them. Infact, stop the father Christmas you used to do for her family. let her handle everything for at least three weeks. There will be a reaction but never say a word. Allow her to read your messages, chats and communication freely and maintain a smiling mood through all and I bet it that she will be concerned on what she is not doing right and surprised you are calm, cool and unperturbed. Never receive calls from her friends and family. You have set her up for questioning and they will descend on her for the act of denying you kpekus if she opens up to them.

Any seasoned couple will tell you that the first 5 yrs of marriage are the trickiest ones. Marriage is a whole lot different from boyfriend and girlfriend. You two should talk to a marriage counselor. Not the religious hypocrite ones that will just support one and damn the other to servitude no matter what o.

U give her that attention too much. She is paying u back for all the bad things u said to her .
Don't give her that attention again
I am telling you from experience. Women don't need pampering .

Not that u don't love after all u are the one footing the bill. Zero ur mine from her pretend she doesn't exist. Her brain will reset. Take care of her and ur kid

Op, this is my thought and I think a perfect advise for you. She has divorced you tey tey and anything that could kill you would be easily welcome by her. OP, for a woman to voice out and say you can go and sleep with any lady of your choice cos she's no longer interested in you, a husband for that matter and not boyfriend, then it's over and over. She never loved you from onset, probably you had so much money or better prospect then but not so visible again or there is an ex of her promising heaven and hell on earth for her to be with him so she is trying to frustrate you to divorce her so as to be seeing as the good woman.

Op, you only live once and there is a truth I am going to tell you today. As long as you are the bread winner of the house, responsible for everything including your wife and your young son, please don't kill yourself over a woman that wants to go. Quickly and fastly divorce her please before she kills you. Stop stressing your life my brother over a year marriage that a woman shows dispersion for. She is not worth dying and getting worked up for.....stay alive for that your son if actually you are even the father sef.......no matter the crime you must have committed which can't be more than another woman you dated or something....but when a woman really loves you, she love you for real....(R. Kelly) ....she doesn't love you one bit.....give her or dash her the divorce fast fast please......I don't want to hear a sad story about you please.....take care and one love.....

Penguin2:
The problem is that you don’t have money

No Nigerian in-law supports his/her daughter against a rich in-law.

They thought you had prospects.

They thought things will turn out for good for you so you will be wiring them with money but it seems the reverse has been the case.

About your wife, she has divorced you psychologically and I suggest you do same physically by putting pen to papers and granting her the freedom she seeks.

Stop allowing her be in the driver’s seat in the whole fracas, she has occupied it for too long, take up the driver’s seat, go on offensive, sit her down and tell her that you have decided to grant her the divorce she’s looking for and if her attitude doesn’t change, sincerely, then go ahead with the divorce and let her go and focus on yourself and making money.

10 years from today she will look back and regret treating you like shit.

My 2 cents!

What are u waiting for. Give her some space and she will be alright..

Una go copy story elsewhere , come to nairaland , personalize and post it .
Next una go use una alternative moniker , book space and comment first ... and most FTC where copied from elsewhere . E go be like say una smart ...lol.
This likes and shares you guys crave , once it they start turning it to money here on nairaland, u guys should let me know .

Hezzyluv:
Na wao...

Na your fault. You saw all the red flags during courtship, but you neglected it. Your only concern was...
she carry back
she carry front.
She too package
I can't leave
The more reason why I can't leave her..
Now, see where it has landed you to. Barely one year marriage heading for divorce

Any advise people gives you here may not work again, since you had tried all you could to restore peace to no avail. And from the beginning, nothing like Peace @all. Because, 30% peace is not Worth it. Report it to God. perhaps, "him go dey merciful 2u help you arrange your marriage back". Then, even God warned you by showing you red flags, but you choose to turn deaf ears.


See to be honest with you, humanly speaking or from human point of view, it appears it's done and dusted. She has even told you to go and have sex outside if you wish, which means she can go and have sex elsewhere too if she so desire. That's if she never start having sex outside. The one that breaks the camel's back is that, "her parents are fully in support of her".
Maybe them don see one bigman way wan marry their daughter wey don start to dey shower them money.

Cheers...

Had similar experience u far from it..The women of this generation are something else they are not wired like the our mothers were...He needs to be patient with her she would come back to her senses mine told me same thing to try someone outside e nor come from her mind cos she went through my phone while i was sleeping she saw a sex tape between me and another lady...woke up saw her crying even when she finally fell asleep she was talking about the clip while asleep...the thing is after a while some ladies get bored in marriage u just need to spice it up a bit..is not always about a guy on the side or one big man..mine is back to factory reset...but everyday am torn between dealing with her in the future or letting the grudge go....

Crafteck1:


If you are you can afford anyone or anything, why beat a dead horse, you want to force her or beg her to love you?

Actually, there's no point forcing her. But you can still find a woman who would stand by you even if u're not financially buoyant.

This happened to me.
Wife run away with my two kids.
I change Base, pregnant a lady close to her parent house.
The bitch came back, I pregnant her again, after two years she started drama, called d father and hand his daughter to him.
Now staying with baby mama and my four kids.

That woman is cheating on you

u r married to a lesbian... most girls are bisexuals or strictly lesbian. it's not ur fault. she would never love u, she never loved u before

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

let her so can can many a new one with standing breast or u no get money?.

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

bro, take it to God in prayer. There's nothing God can't do. Don't give up on ur wife. divorce is not the best option here.

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

uncle when a woman is fed up there is nothing you can do about it...
r kelly sang a song on that...
bros do nothing..
let her have her wish...
you deserve to be happy.... with the remaining part you have left to live in this life.
don't worry at all about it...and don't let her see you panic...
give her a divorce if that's what she want...
and move on...
but make sure this time you marry someone that loves you not who you love alone..
attraction is and should always be a 2 way thing.
all the best....

So it was a pregnancy induced marriage, that explains the early problems and you not being able to say those bad words you said means you said something very bad. You should probably forget about this marriage [quote author=Philip94 post=110815235][/quote]

CAPSLOCKED:
YOU YESTERDAY.




YOU TODAY.





WHEN A MAN WANTED TO LET GO, YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT KARMA AND BLAMING THE MAN. TODAY A WOMAN WANTS TO LET GO AND YOU'RE STANDING FIRMLY IN YOUR RESOLUTE TO ENSURE THAT THE MAN LET'S HER BE.


MY FRIENDS. TRUST WOMEN TO MOVE AROUND WITH THE GOALPOST EVERY SECOND UNTIL THEY FIND A SPOT CONVENIENT FOR THEM ALONE. CONTINUE TO TAKE THEIR WORDS AS ABSOLUTE AT YOUR DETRIMENT, SIRS.

hey CAPS

3 months after delivery seem early to me but know the rule sha.

Daxyd4realzy:
Without mincing words, your wife is cheating on you! She is having sex already with an outsider. She is only waiting for you to man up and send her packing!

Exactly!!!! this woman op just described has already started eating big cassava outside.

High probability that she’s still seeing her ex and might be having serious sex. Wise up and free her before you go start raise another man children

Hezzyluv:
Na wao...

Na your fault. You saw all the red flags during courtship, but you neglected it. Your only concern was...
she carry back
she carry front.
She too package
I can't leave
The more reason why I can't leave her..
Now, see where it has landed you to. Barely one year marriage heading for divorce

Any advise people gives you here may not work again, since you had tried all you could to restore peace to no avail. And from the beginning, nothing like Peace @all. Because, 30% peace is not Worth it. Report it to God. perhaps, "him go dey merciful 2u help you arrange your marriage back". Then, even God warned you by showing you red flags, but you choose to turn deaf ears.


See to be honest with you, humanly speaking or from human point of view, it appears it's done and dusted. She has even told you to go and have sex outside if you wish, which means she can go and have sex elsewhere too if she so desire. That's if she never start having sex outside. The one that breaks the camel's back is that, "her parents are fully in support of her".
Maybe them don see one bigman way wan marry their daughter wey don start to dey shower them money.

Cheers...

Everytime a man asks for help, yall gather to sing this same anthem and disperse without giving any helpful advice.
But if it's a woman, you'll have a lot to say. We as men can and should do better honestly.

Send her packing.

The fault in marrying her is yours, but you will make a bigger mistake by allowing her to continue making your life miserable.

Mine told mi twice... As in I shocked. This is some weeks after she gave birth. Omo nothing I do pleases her. Like say na pikin she just want from mi. Just no understand. It was hell. Infact make I paused. True be told. As she talk so believe her o....

Leave the house for 2 months and stay in an hotel, don't call or visit but remember to send money to her to take care of your son.

DONT ALLOW ANY WOMAN TO FRUSTRATE YOU

QED

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

HRMK:
hmmm....obviously u must av done or said something that has fallen below her expection!think deeply on what transpired between u which may be halftruth!though uv said u take care of all expenses but is she really satisfied with ur present status?think about it please!

So he should now do beyond his present status abi? U guys talk as if a man has come to serve n satisfy a woman in life.