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Nigerian Parents And Oversized Cloths | My Own Story / Virginity Doesn't Guarantee A Stable Marriage (a Must Read for young ladies) / My Marriage; A Blessing Or A Curse. Please Advice (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Regex: 12:44pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
odinson1: House you deh pay mortgage for abi car on finance? She takes it, she pays for it. 5 Likes |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by babajeje123(m): 12:48pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
sgtponzihater1:Bro, you could have employed a househelp, not necessarily a live-in one 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by sgtponzihater1(m): 1:04pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
She lived life on her own terms in her "husbands" house. Got up from bed when she wanted. Cooked stew only on Sundays, and would not cook any other day. She also made it known that she cannot go to the market, if she does, then she will be too tired to cook. So I got the list and bought the food stuff. She had an income, but if she stayed indoors and wrote me a list, how then will she touch hers? I did the house cleaning, threw the trash out, she only needed to remind me that the bin was full. When I expected visitors, she only needed to remind me that the house was "scatered", and I needed to arrange it. That was her going through a lot of stress. I suggested using goat meat to cook stew, and she screamed, "they don't do that", the day I got cow leg and ask her to do stew, she blatantly refused, "that is not the use of cow leg". I suggested she was not washing the fish well, and taking away the inner content, and I swallowed back my word after being washed down with words. It's a harsh world for men out there. Nobody says it but I will. Many men go through solitary confinement, and worse off is when they acquire this prison with their own money. I carried on. There were nights I slept alone praying for grace. During the good times, living all alone by myself, I almost forgot a God exists. But through difficulties, hardship, torture and distress, I saw a God who gives strength to the weary and grace to the humble. I took my daughter to nursery first thing in the morning and picked her off in the evening while returning from work. Maybe once or twice she helped me pick her up, but this was not up to four times in total. When I then get home she would call me to come and get her from work. She could walk to the bus stop, but she still asked me. I had no issues it was less than 10mins drive, so I did that. There were days I was exhausted, so asked her to get the bus instead. It was all frown, all hell when this was the case. Nurseries were calculated per hour and I payed every single hour with no outside help. She blatantly said its my responsibility. Humans have a heart. Some are strong others are not, so the weight may tilt on the "stronger", or the other may claim weak to avoid a fair share. Its the dynamic that always play out. What is sad is when you do all these and they go back and lie that you do nothing. That they are going through torture and stress, that they are in hell. The same person that lived on her own terms, cooked when she wanted, woke up anytime and never sweeped the house for a full year. But they lied against us, and painted a picture of hell. There was no thank you for all you do, when we said anything they said it was our responsibility, and we should live up to it. How we survived, there was no telling. It must only have been God. Cntd SgtPonziHater 24 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by optm(m): 1:24pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Forgive me for asking, i am just being curious and would like to know what values you saw in her that made you decide to choose her for a wife? 13 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Brownshoe: 1:25pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
In op case i think they are introduced to each other, they didn't really court. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Raalsalghul: 1:51pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Critical reasoning and writing involves reflective writing. The writer rationalises the event, how he deems fit and what he finds relevant. Those who find any measure of benefit run with it, and those who don't can ignore it and move along. Not trying to denigrate your experiences or travails. Like I said before, I'm just trying to put things in perspective and if you deem it not worthy to share that aspect of your story, then it's absolutely fine. It's a beautiful world when everyone can share their own story. Men go through a lot already. A lady writes a line and people tag the man involved a useless man, a narcissistic man etc. A man write 100 lines and questions around order, how did you find her etc crops up. The saddest part is men join in the onslaught. Stop this generalisation. Your misgivings about marriage are not harder than mine. I only made a simple request which you've decided not to share and that's absolutely fine by me. I'm not trying to bring you down, thrash talk or anything of that nature. 2 Likes |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by sgtponzihater1(m): 1:59pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Raalsalghul: Right! I know you are not. Thanks Believe me when and if people we know push me to tell my part of the story. I don't and won't. Redemption is all I seek. The judgment and justice belongs to God 2 Likes |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by kepstone: 2:01pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Hmmm... Omoh I can relate with what this OP has written or said. I have been there ooo. Men are becoming endangered species in marriage. I had to end relationship with my narcissistic girlfriend, manipulator, selfish person, it's always about her. Truly men are suffering society say we should be men at the detriment of our own been. My friend just ended his relationship with his girlfriend because of some nonsense attitude from the girl untop his own money oooo. Many ladies are not wives. Many are not marriageable to be sincere, many don't Know what the basic needs of a man. It takes to to tango. Any relationship that works is a relationship that is worked upon. One partner can not keep a relationship, there must be balance at most equilibrium to ensure the relationship sails smoothly. In the absence of this balance things are bound to come to a halt. My eyes have seen shege from ladies that now I even dare to go close to them.. but I still want to marry. I have been praying to God the right woman God please. My father married right even in death and in sickness my mom still loved him till his last days on Earth. My father was broke to nothing she stood by him and they both worked out a road map to bounce back. When he did he willed everything to her ooo, na she come will everything to us. Many folks going into marriage and desiring marriage don't know what marriage is and what it's true meaning is. I tell guyz marry a woman who loves you more than you love her, never show a woman you over love her, she go mess u up. Show her love when you have guaged her commitment to is Rock solid. Op you married another man's wife... It will take God. If this persist please end the so-called union and get your life. Your wife does not love you. From what I am seeing I can see that she has no respect and love for you. I know women are not perfect but common a woman who loves you, respects you, supports you, is empathetic and will not manipulate you. Op Biko if na me I go transfer all my cash to crypto and leave small thing inside plan things and divorce her. Period 31 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by sgtponzihater1(m): 2:06pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
kepstone: Apt. Narcissistic is possibly the best word to describe this. She claimed she wakes up at 1 to 2pm because nurses shift is long and hard, so it take 2 days to recover. When I return from work, she asks her mum to send the child to stay with me. Obviously I do nothing at work, and come back refreshed. While she and her mum fold their arms watching Niaja movie in a house I pay for. Thanks for your advise. 16 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Lucrativress(f): 2:21pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
sgtponzihater1:If this is your personal story I hope you know you're only doing yourself.. And this one life you came to can't be repeated? Even before you swim into nothingness (death) don't plunge yourself into it just yet cause that's what you're doing. You're not being useful to yourself or anyone by being grossly exploited,neither are you being happy living this way So I ask, what's your purpose for living? If you're not in Nigeria, better start gathering evidences, cause you were not smart enough to choose rightly. Marriage isn't the problem,your choice and the woman you married are the problem. A CCTV camera will be useful. Your option is either to keep being a toothless Dog or start acting as a Wild Cat. 17 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by sgtponzihater1(m): 2:25pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Lucrativress: Thanks for your advise. All will be well |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Nobody: 2:32pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
sgtponzihater1: Why haven't you divorced her? What exactly are you holding on to in that marriage? You're obviously a battered husband. Why don't you leave the marriage? 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by thiagoteres(m): 2:39pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
@op It's clear you are being emotionally and financially abused at least.Do not allow yourself to be used and frustrated to the point when you would be termed the abusive one. Try to work things out if she is willing. If not plan your exit tactfully and carefully. Some humans are naturally unrealistic and ungrateful. Protect your resources and speak with relevant charities about the abuse you are facing. 5 Likes |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by faithfull18(f): 2:50pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Hmmn |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Princeton92(m): 3:19pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Cc: Lalasticlala Mynd44 Seun Push am go front page even if you no answer me Lol |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Klass99(f): 6:19pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by TheComicGuy(m): 6:25pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
While reading all you have been through,I couldn't help but to shed tears,for a ones happy and independent man has used his own hand to bring misery and truma into his life. am really going to have to really think about this,the success rate of modern marriage have been on The decline,a woman can get married today and forget half of her problem cause it's all going to be taking cared of by the man it is automatically his problems now.the only thing I see as a Benefit for a man is to have children raised by both mother and father in a loving union,and you can only get that when you are married. but if I may ask what does a man stand to gain from the union called marriage in this 21st century. And I am not condeming Marriage, cause the union of a man and woman is as old as humanity itself,but what we see today in the name of marriage Is very wrong. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime partnership of love, trust and respect But, why are you still married to this said women I advised you make a lot of recordings and videos of her being a terrible mother, gather receipt to show that you that care of the child by your self, convert all your money to crypto like someone advised earlier,get a great devorce lawyer and head to Court,with enough evidence you can get the custody of your child. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by TheComicGuy(m): 6:28pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
But if it was a woman that wrote all this,you would waste no time to advise her to divorce Klass99: 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Klass99(f): 6:38pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by FunnyDude(m): 6:38pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
ibechris: Bro you have time responding to all these depressed bittered single men here. As for me, I don't own anyone explanation. I'm married and enjoying my life. Most men here are opposite of what they preach real life. 17 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by DAramis: 6:55pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Raalsalghul:..... |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by DAramis: 7:15pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
OP I empathise with you, and all that you are passing through. If writing on this thread is a way to heal yourself, please do go ahead. If the load seems too heavy, you could see a therapist or worst case scenario, you quit the marriage by divorcing her. It is too early for you to die young or we reading terrible news about Nigerian couple living in that country (just like the other one about nurse and her husband). Peace is valuable bro. More valuable than properties. God that made it possible for you to buy a house now will still give you good health to work, earn an income and buy another one. Sell the house, move the money out and choose the most difficult part which I know is still honourable (Divorce). 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by tensazangetsu20(m): 7:33pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Klass99: Honestly most are just shit and I see this as an Igbo man. It's so annoying the mentality of a majority of people in 2022. 1 Like |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by ibechris(m): 8:40pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
Thank u my dear sister...this is exactly how it should be. I have also taken a cue from the points below after all ,we are all here to learn from one another. Keep it up! Klass99: 2 Likes |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by cayorday89(m): 10:21pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
What a pathetic experience, truly it's a hard life out there even when you carefully select a partner thinking you have done your assignment, some people change in the course of the journey... One thing is certain, this my singleness part two is not going to end soon... 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by kazyhm(m): 10:55pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
sgtponzihater1: Men not been honest with man from the onset 3 Likes |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by kazyhm(m): 11:14pm On Apr 10, 2022 |
sgtponzihater1: There is no peace without fairness and justices........that consoling 2 Likes |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Elporo(m): 12:53am On Apr 11, 2022 |
odinson1: The dude is fighting that feeling ... deep inside he knows he's the patsy. It's just like saying Prince Harry gained alot from his charade union with old & divorce Meghan. Like, who actually went up in social status, and who came down? @ibechris "Mr buy property in my wife's name". Your purchase support @odinson1's position. The only true benefit in marrying a woman is based on her background. What her family name or connections can do for your business and projects. Go to the north or stay among the super rich, to learn that marriages are only good for passing down inheritances, multiplying influence and wealth and the occasional social event. Beside that .. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by cococandy(f): 1:05am On Apr 11, 2022 |
Any day nairaland men are not crying about girls and women, is that even a real day? Did the sun even rise? Always super obsessed. Eesh 11 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by ststyreal(f): 5:42pm On Apr 11, 2022 |
odinson1:I am force to quote you even though I could have chosen to ignore your post. If you have a problem with marriage, why not stay clear... Why trying to choke people with your negative vibes about marriage. If you choose not to marry so be it but you trying to force people to accept your negative opinion about marriage is annoying. Whether their is benefits in marriage or not, some people are happy being married while some are not. Don't force people to accept your opinion about marriage because it paint you a bitter soul. God created marriages when he formed Eve for Adam. He said it isn't good for a man to be alone therefore I will make him an helper fit for him. You are not wiser than God. Leave people to make their choice while you peacefully make yours. I am sorry for quoting you but your constant attacking of people with positive desire for marriage prompted my quoting you. Life is a choice. Allow people make their choice peacefully.... 9 Likes |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Miarose: 6:27pm On Apr 11, 2022 |
Your life will improve dramatically when you begin to take responsibility for your actions. What is marriage? It is simply, when to people come together on certain terms. `Marriage` is not the problem. PEOPLE ARE. And as a man.. You did the courting, the wooing, the proposing. That means you chose wrong. It is reflection of your decision making, people management and problem solving skills. It has nothing to do with the MARRIAGE INSTITUTION. sgtponzihater1: 19 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Is Modern Marriage A Scam? My Own Story by Kwinesther: 7:05pm On Apr 11, 2022 |
sgtponzihater1:I have been reading your write ups from the start, you obviously married the wrong woman sir. From my observation, most people that married wrongly were not directed by God but did it in their own terms. If they prayed about it and be patient, HE would surely guide them. Marriage is not what one can just dive into without involving the institutor of same institution but we tend to ignore this fact. No matter how wise and careful we might seem to be, we are bound to make mistakes. 6 Likes 1 Share |
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