Sureplug123:
my sister's can never and will never abuse my DAD.
See, I don't support domestic violence, but can your partner just walk up to you and start hitting you? Women have their mouth as their weapon while men have their fist as their weapon.

Let's assume I attack you with a sword and you have a gun in your hands, won't you shoot at me?

The case of Bianca Ojukwu and the former governor's wife is a good example. Women can't take half of what they dish out.

10men can live in a room but 2 women can't live in a compound without fighting and you think men are the problem?

ImaIma1:


Is not only verbal abuse that warrants beating?

Women with mouth as a weapon and man with fist. Ok. If there's a fight and the woman is beating badly as a result of her mouth, which one is punishable ny law?

If she dies, do you think the excuse of "she insulted me" will hold water? .

It's not just about women. I have also pushed for punishment for women that were abusing their partners. My point is that no spouse has a right to raise his/her hands on a partner. When it comes to self defense, it can be argued. But if the other party is dead, what happens to that argument?

I have never condoned DV. My mindset has always been that no man born of a woman, created by the same God can step to me like that. It's not pride o, it's awareness. I learnt at an early age to speak up and challenge nonsense. And it has worked for me.

I just wish that more women will respect themselves enough not to accept such rubbish from their fellow humans.

Prettygirl200:
Same with your future daughters, they will remain in your house.

emmanuelbrown26:

Na who let this one out, pikin better go back to sleep

Prettygirl200:
And that's how ur daughters and sisters will be beaten thoroughly.

Sureplug123:
my sister's can never and will never abuse my DAD.
See, I don't support domestic violence, but can your partner just walk up to you and start hitting you? Women have their mouth as their weapon while men have their fist as their weapon.

Let's assume I attack you with a sword and you have a gun in your hands, won't you shoot at me?

The case of Bianca Ojukwu and the former governor's wife is a good example. Women can't take half of what they dish out.

10men can live in a room but 2 women can't live in a compound without fighting and you think men are the problem?

Sureplug123:
in other words, verbal abuse will pass but physical abuse will not. See, they are interwoven, both parties should keep their weapons aside for peace to reign, else.........
Being jailed is beter than being killed.

If you know you won't respect your partner, don't go into marriage. You can't form woke in my house.

Same women worship the ground their pastors walk upon.

Sureplug123:
in other words, verbal abuse will pass but physical abuse will not. See, they are interwoven, both parties should keep their weapons aside for peace to reign, else.........
Being jailed is beter than being killed.

If you know you won't respect your partner, don't go into marriage. You can't form woke in my house.

Same women worship the ground their pastors walk upon.

ImaIma1:


That is the law. Anyone that wants to waste his life in jail is free to beat. Afterall jail is nothing since it's better than death.

That is where coexisting peacefully comes in. The same way if a man can't control his temper he should remain unmarried and not go and be forming macho in the home.

What have worshiping pastors have to do here? They should marry the pastor.

Mindlog:


I hope the defense team would enlist the services of a government approved child psychologist to assess the children to give an insight into what happened in their home to build a solid case.

Sureplug123:
forming macho in my home? Very funny. Can a woman provide shelter, food etc for a man and still respect him? Women can't take half of what they dish out.

Sureplug123:
forming macho in my home? Very funny, no lady born of woman will form woke in my house, if she doesn't leave in peace, she'll leave in pieces. Mind you, the dead can't testify.
Can a woman provide shelter, food etc for a man and still respect him?
Women can't take half of what they dish out.

Women worship their pastors but can't worship their husbands.

ImaIma1:



Fortunately, it's happening. You not believing it doesn't change it. Funny thing is the men's egos cannot take it. So he finds faults, and any little thing is a form of disrespect and an injury to his ego.

We can go back and forth, and our points will be valid. We just have to do better and try to live with consideration for people around us.

Sureplug123:
personal experience?

emmanuelbrown26:

Men at d upper echelon of judiciary knows that d law won't work

Sureplug123:
your gender will continue to wail

TONYE001:
Works Cited

Armstrong, M. (2019, November 25). Violence against women continues to rise in Germany. Statista Infographics. https://www.statista.com/chart/20087/domestic-violence-against-women-germany/

Benebo, F. O., Schumann, B., & Vaezghasemi, M. (2018). Intimate partner violence against women in Nigeria: a multilevel study investigating the effect of women’s status and community norms. BMC Women’s Health, 18(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12905-018-0628-7

Das, A., & Chowdhury, R. (2017). Searching cause of death through different autopsy methods: A new initiative. Journal of Family Medicine and Primary Care, 6(2), 191. https://doi.org/10.4103/jfmpc.jfmpc_194_16

Egbo, G. (2021, June 13). The Life Of An Igbo Woman Pre-Colonial Times. The Guardian Nigeria News - Nigeria and World News. https://guardian.ng/life/the-life-of-an-igbo-woman-pre-colonial-times/

Huecker, M., King, K., Jordan, G. (2022, March 7). Domestic Violence. StatPearls. https://www.statpearls.com/ArticleLibrary/viewarticle/40654

Igbolekwu, C., Arusukwu, O., Nwogu, J., Rasak, B., and Asamu, F. (2021). Domestic Violence against Women in the Nigerian Rural Context. Journal of International Women’s Studies, 22(1). Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/349172569_Domestic_Violence_against_Women_in_the_Nigerian_Rural_Context_Domestic_Violence_against_Women_in_the_Nigerian_Rural_Context

Kaduna, G. (2022, April 9). Osinachi Nwachukwu brutalised by husband before her death — Singer alleges. Premium Times Nigeria. https://www.premiumtimesng.com/entertainment/music/522872-osinachi-nwachukwu-brutalised-by-husband-before-her-death-singer-alleges.html

Kolbe, V., & Büttner, A. (2020). Domestic Violence Against Men— Prevalence and Risk Factors. Deutsches Ärzteblatt International. https://doi.org/10.3238/arztebl.2020.0534

Nigerian Government Vows To Get Justice For Gospel Singer, Osinachi Who Died From Alleged Domestic Violence. (2022, April 11). Sahara Reporters. https://saharareporters.com/2022/04/11/nigerian-government-vows-get-justice-gospel-singer-osinachi-who-died-alleged-domestic

Obidiebube, O. (2018). Husband get right to beat wife for Nigeria, oda sexist laws. Retrieved from: https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/tori-45418226

Oluwole, E., Onwumelu, N., and Okafor, I. (2020). Prevalence and determinants of intimate partner violence among adult women in an urban community in Lagos, Southwest Nigeria. Panafrican-Med-Journal, 36(345). 10.11604/pamj.2020.36.345.24402

Rahnavardi, M., Shayan, A., Babaei, M., Khalesi, Z. B., Havasian, M. R., & Ahmadi, M. (2017). Investigating Types and Causes of Domestic Violence against Women and Identifying Strategies to Deal with It from the Perspective of Victims. Research Journal of Pharmacy and Technology, 10(10), 3637. https://doi.org/10.5958/0974-360x.2017.00660.6

Sardinha, L., Maheu-Giroux, M., Stöckl, H., Meyer, S. R., & García-Moreno, C. (2022). Global, regional, and national prevalence estimates of physical or sexual, or both, intimate partner violence against women in 2018. The Lancet, 399(10327), 803–813. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0140-6736(21)02664-7

Tugbobo, T. (2022, April 10). Tributes as Ekwueme singer, Osinachi dies at 42. Punch Newspapers. https://punchng.com/tributes-as-ekwueme-singer-osinachi-dies-at-42/

Welcome to the United Nations. (n.d.). United Nations. Retrieved April 13, 2022, from https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse





Nice Write Up

Sureplug123:
forming macho in my home? Very funny, no lady born of woman will form woke in my house, if she doesn't leave in peace, she'll leave in pieces. Mind you, the dead can't testify.
Can a woman provide shelter, food etc for a man and still respect him?
Women can't take half of what they dish out.

Women worship their pastors but can't worship their husbands.

emmanuelbrown26:

When it comes to DV, women are simply d cause, that's d fact. I would hv narrated stories upon stories but I won't go their bcs this is not why we are here.
Yes I know some stupid men in boys skin that can't reason at all.
Yes I know some men that are not worthy to be called men at all.
Yes I know some idiotic men in boys skin that are not suppose to associate with human beings.
But domestic violence are being caused by women and d earlier women start knowing that they are d cause d better for them

TONYE001:


I don't know if you're married now. If not, hopefully, when/if you eventually get married, you'd learn to replace "my" with "our."

There are many women that provide for their families and nobody knows about it. Many! You may not know but there are women that support their families when their husbands are out of jobs.

My understanding about marriage is a bit different. I know the husband-provide-for-your-wife teaching but I'm of the opinion that spouses should provide for each other. Husbands and wives must learn to do away with the "self mentality" and be selfless.

See, these things are not difficult. Honestly. We don't need to read big books or to listen to complex messages in places of worship to come up with these things. God gave us all common sense and an inert ability to love absolutely. We are the ones that have refused to put all these to use.

I am tempted to tell some stories about my home but maybe this is not the right place. This is our eight year in marriage and so far, with God's grace and application of common sense, my home has been excellent.

For DV to be eradicated, we all must unlearn certain things. Honestly. I see you saying your wife would leave in pieces if she doesn't go in peace. I'm sure if God blesses us with long days, a time would come you'd think differently. If your sibling continuously offends you, would you ask him/her to leave the family in peace or in pieces? How about your parents? Maybe it's because you are yet to see a wife as an INTERNAL component of her husband. If your heart fails to pump blood effectively, would you tear it out? God's concept of marriage is that the wife and the husband are one!

Let's make some redefinitions, please.

Before now, we are told that wives must respect their husbands. Emphasis wasn't made on husbands respecting their wives. For a successful home, the husband and the wife must respect each other.

We were also told that wives must be submissive to their husbands. We weren't told that husbands should submit to their wives. Guess what would happen if a husband and a wife submit to each other! They'd listen to each other's counsels. They'd honour each other. They'd be happy.

Before now, we were told that husbands must provide for their homes. This puts undue pressure on men. Imagine what the home would be like if the husband and the wife provide for each other! Imagine a husband thinking how he'd find money to fill the gas cylinder and his wife calls him that she just refilled the cylinder. Imagine a wide ringing her husband to tell him that their son is sick and she has already bought the meds. Imagine a husband buying his wife's needs. Just imagine.

Let's stop thinking of marriage like a big issue. Recall how you lived with your brothers and sisters at home. Recall how you lived with your best friend at school. Recall how you easily forgive your younger sister when she offends you. Recall how your parents always overlook your terrible mistakes. Recall all these and replicate them in your home. You'd find that peace would be natural.

I'm not just talking about stuffs I know nothing about. I told you I've been married for 8 years. My wife was my classmate and we knew ourselves right from year 2 at school. These are stuffs we do and I know that by God's grace, we'd see many more years.

Brother, tame your anger and learn to overlook things. If after all these it's still impossible to run the home, your next option would be to separate. Separation too can be peaceful. I've seen some divorced couples that still talk and visit each other. I know of one, as a matter of fact.

Please reconsider your stance.

TONYE001:


I don't know if you're married now. If not, hopefully, when/if you eventually get married, you'd learn to replace "my" with "our."

There are many women that provide for their families and nobody knows about it. Many! You may not know but there are women that support their families when their husbands are out of jobs.

My understanding about marriage is a bit different. I know the husband-provide-for-your-wife teaching but I'm of the opinion that spouses should provide for each other. Husbands and wives must learn to do away with the "self mentality" and be selfless.

See, these things are not difficult. Honestly. We don't need to read big books or to listen to complex messages in places of worship to come up with these things. God gave us all common sense and an inert ability to love absolutely. We are the ones that have refused to put all these to use.

I am tempted to tell some stories about my home but maybe this is not the right place. This is our eight year in marriage and so far, with God's grace and application of common sense, my home has been excellent.

For DV to be eradicated, we all must unlearn certain things. Honestly. I see you saying your wife would leave in pieces if she doesn't go in peace. I'm sure if God blesses us with long days, a time would come you'd think differently. If your sibling continuously offends you, would you ask him/her to leave the family in peace or in pieces? How about your parents? Maybe it's because you are yet to see a wife as an INTERNAL component of her husband. If your heart fails to pump blood effectively, would you tear it out? God's concept of marriage is that the wife and the husband are one!

Let's make some redefinitions, please.

Before now, we are told that wives must respect their husbands. Emphasis wasn't made on husbands respecting their wives. For a successful home, the husband and the wife must respect each other.

We were also told that wives must be submissive to their husbands. We weren't told that husbands should submit to their wives. Guess what would happen if a husband and a wife submit to each other! They'd listen to each other's counsels. They'd honour each other. They'd be happy.

Before now, we were told that husbands must provide for their homes. This puts undue pressure on men. Imagine what the home would be like if the husband and the wife provide for each other! Imagine a husband thinking how he'd find money to fill the gas cylinder and his wife calls him that she just refilled the cylinder. Imagine a wide ringing her husband to tell him that their son is sick and she has already bought the meds. Imagine a husband buying his wife's needs. Just imagine.

Let's stop thinking of marriage like a big issue. Recall how you lived with your brothers and sisters at home. Recall how you lived with your best friend at school. Recall how you easily forgive your younger sister when she offends you. Recall how your parents always overlook your terrible mistakes. Recall all these and replicate them in your home. You'd find that peace would be natural.

I'm not just talking about stuffs I know nothing about. I told you I've been married for 8 years. My wife was my classmate and we knew ourselves right from year 2 at school. These are stuffs we do and I know that by God's grace, we'd see many more years.

Brother, tame your anger and learn to overlook things. If after all these it's still impossible to run the home, your next option would be to separate. Separation too can be peaceful. I've seen some divorced couples that still talk and visit each other. I know of one, as a matter of fact.

Please reconsider your stance.

Sureplug123:
you've made valid points but they only apply in an Ideal situation and the situation is never Ideal. You made mention of my sister and parents, we are related by blood and blood is thicker than water. The wife is the only stranger in the family.

These same women respect their fathers and brothers but will never respect their husbands.

No woman truly loves her husband, when push comes to shove, she'll pick her child over you.

One question everyone is avoiding is why these woke women worship their pastors and not their husbands.

Until we go back to the drawing board, DV will never stop.

HumanoidX:


God bless you at the bolded! You and your wife or you and your husband are one and the same. Has anyone ever wondered why God used "bride" and "bridegroom" in giving a template of His relationship with us as His church?

As you rightly stated, there are several things to unlearn.

Nobody should have to go through DV, man or woman. Why would you treat another human like dirt? Worst still, a spouse.

Being a terrible human isn't gender specific.

TONYE001:
The death of Osinachi Nwachukuwu shocked many and provoked controversies, especially regarding her marriage (Kaduna, 2022). When I learned of her death, I was first sad that such a great singer was gone; later, as more details began to emerge, I soon began to wish that we got things right in our country, sooner than later. Notwithstanding the myriads of testimonies that have flooded the online space, the true cause of Osinachi's death can only be established by an autopsy (Das and Chowdhury, 2017). Until this is done, statements about her death cannot hold water.
...
Domestic violence (DV), or intimate partner violence, is defined as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner" (United Nations, n.d.). DV also refers to injurious physical, sexual, and psychological behaviours occurring within the context of an intimate union or any other type of union (Sardinha et al., 2022).
...
As I conclude, I would like to leave this last note to victims of DV. Please, prioritize your life over anything. Your life is paramount. Separate yourself from your spouse now that you still can. Beyond this, you should also report him/her to the authorities and ensure he/she is prosecuted and put behind bars for a long time. If you take these actions, you would have successfully protected future victims of your spouse.

Tonye001.

apatheticme:


Alright!

We'll see.

apatheticme:


Yeah, just like your gender is also wailing

Most misogynists are jobless and broke!! No one in their right senses go about hating on the next gender and supporting evil against the next gender!

Vent your frustrations on the government who refused to create an enabling environment rather than hating on women.

Sureplug123:
you've made valid points but they only apply in an Ideal situation and the situation is never Ideal. You made mention of my sister and parents, we are related by blood and blood is thicker than water. The wife is the only stranger in the family.

These same women respect their fathers and brothers but will never respect their husbands.

No woman truly loves her husband, when push comes to shove, she'll pick her child over you.

One question everyone is avoiding is why these woke women worship their pastors and not their husbands.

Until we go back to the drawing board, DV will never stop.

TONYE001:


1. We are the ones that make situations ideal, or not. God's plan for us was an ideal society until we began to deviate and make imperfect ways for ourselves.

2. "Blood is thicker than water" is a mere saying that is not biologically true. The reason you may go extra lengths for your siblings is not because you share the same blood. As a matter of fact, you don't (not even twins). From the molecular level to any other imaginable extent, we are entirely different from our siblings. The thing is, we have lived with them for years and we have been taught by our parents and the society to "see them as our brothers and sisters" and to love them unconditionally and to do stuffs for them. If siblings grow from different homes (without knowing they are related), they would not show this special love to each other.

3. So you see that the reason we love our family the way we do is because of of choice, and a bit of indoctrination.

4. How about choosing to love our spouses this same way? How about allowing ourselves to be indoctrinated to loving our spouses this same way? See? It's all a matter of choice. Choice, choice, choice!

5. There are women that stick to their husbands even when things turn terribly ugly. I want to believe you know this and you may have witnessed it. If not, please go through your neighbourhood and you'd find some. Some of these women have options too. There are women that have sacrificed rare opportunities because of their husbands. These are women that trully love their husbands. I want to believe you know this too. Let's shy away from generalizations and begin to objectively look at things. No gender is perfect; we all have our flaws.

6. I want to believe you know women that have demonstrated true and consistent love for their husbands within your immediate family, your neighbourhood, and elsewhere.

7. Of course there are women (and men) that respect their pastors more than their spouses. But this is just A GROUP of an entire gender, NOT the entire gender. See the difference?

I hope you begin to see reasons with me that we need to reorient ourselves and do away with some of our beliefs.

Sureplug123:
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—
30 for we are members of his body.
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

You see they are interwoven.
This is the standard.

TONYE001:


We have been so misinformed about marriage that it seems we have totally lost the true knowledge of it. Each time I read stuffs online, I come across all sorts of statements and thoughts. This has been calcified in our minds such that it is almost impossible to have people reconsider their stance on marriage.

Good thing is, there are people that understand and appreciate marriage. If these people don't continue speaking, the wrong idea would be passed to the next generation.

DV is bad. DV has no justification. One way to give a significant blow to DV is by understanding marriage. Maybe I'd write about this someday.