₦airaland Forum

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]Nonsense as usual.

Jeferious:
We are gradually getting there...that era where marriage would be unattractive to all and sundry. Na "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" till the death parts the couple.

But this my gender sef...if women are economically empowered more than men in our current society, you'd be shocked at how they'd thrash the idea of marriage. But since it's the other way round, they won't want to lose grip on the "cows" they are milking emotionally, psychologically, sexually and most importantly, financially. How men don't still get this memo up till now shocks me. Maybe some of them do, but their sexual thirst clouds their reasoning till it becomes their undoing.

The world is MAD. Everyone is playing safe in other not to get hurt. I don't see why the institution of marriage, as we know it to be today, should not be extinct by the next 50 years. I expect other forms of male-female relationship that won't require such high level of commitment to displace it.

placeofallure:
Family nuances.

Every marriage with its peculiarities. All kinds of abuses physical, emotional, verbal and the rest of them boils down to our inability to properly communicate in the house. Communication isn't just opening and closing your mouth.

There'll always be misgivings committed by either of the partners. Now if your spouse does something bad, address that issue, ONLY that issue, proffer solution if you can. It ends there. Don't bring the history of how his uncle was like that, or reminding her about how all her sisters are divorced ....how he did the same thing last century and blablabla... Women are more guilty here. That is what annoys the man and if he lacks self control, your guess is as good as mine.

Many men in my opinion are immature. You need to nurture them the way you would your 5-year old. If women understand this, there'll be peace.

That's not an excuse to misbehave notwithstanding. If you are not up to it as a man, don't marry. A man should be able to make informed choices that is best for his family. These failings or shortcomings are the things that infuriate a woman. And if she has an unbridled tongue, reeling begins. Plus men have this ego problem. It's not a taboo to see a wife more sensible than the husband. Men, know this and know wisdom. As a man, you could borrow sense if yours is inadequate. It doesn't make you less of a man. You're to complement each other. Marriage is not a competing ground.

God save our marriages.

donleo92:
Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

pansophist:
Me think verbal and emotional abuse is even far far worse than physical abuse. If the physical abuse didn't lead to being physical incapacitated, then it would heal, but you see emotional/verbal abuse, that one destroys and even if you remember it years to come, it would shatter you to shred.

Many of the folks I dislike passionately are those that have said hurtful words to me even far back when I was a kid. I still remember some and it hurts me that the sight of those folks piss me off, they think I've forgot but the mark is still there. You see why the bible talk about the tongue alot, to control it and not the fist. Women destroy men alot with their mouth, and it's more powerful than fist.

ChoCho54:
Now you have lost me completely



Virgin boy?

ExcelDBM:
Who are you both to correct me?

placeofallure:
Family nuances.

Every marriage with its peculiarities. All kinds of abuses physical, emotional, verbal and the rest of them boils down to our inability to properly communicate in the house. Communication isn't just opening and closing your mouth.

There'll always be misgivings committed by either of the partners. Now if your spouse does something bad, address that issue, ONLY that issue, proffer solution if you can. It ends there. Don't bring the history of how his uncle was like that, or reminding her about how all her sisters are divorced ....how he did the same thing last century and blablabla... Women are more guilty here. That is what annoys the man and if he lacks self control, your guess is as good as mine.

Many men in my opinion are immature. You need to nurture them the way you would your 5-year old. If women understand this, there'll be peace.

That's not an excuse to misbehave notwithstanding. If you are not up to it as a man, don't marry. A man should be able to make informed choices that is best for his family. These failings or shortcomings are the things that infuriate a woman. And if she has an unbridled tongue, reeling begins. Plus men have this ego problem. It's not a taboo to see a wife more sensible than the husband. Men, know this and know wisdom. As a man, you could borrow sense if yours is inadequate. It doesn't make you less of a man. You're to complement each other. Marriage is not a competing ground.

God save our marriages.

Jeferious:
We are gradually getting there...that era where marriage would be unattractive to all and sundry. Na "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" till the death parts the couple.

But this my gender sef...if women are economically empowered more than men in our current society, you'd be shocked at how they'd thrash the idea of marriage. But since it's the other way round, they won't want to lose grip on the "cows" they are milking emotionally, psychologically, sexually and most importantly, financially. How men don't still get this memo up till now shocks me. Maybe some of them do, but their sexual thirst clouds their reasoning till it becomes their undoing.

The world is MAD. Everyone is playing safe in other not to get hurt. I don't see why the institution of marriage, as we know it to be today, should not be extinct by the next 50 years. I expect other forms of male-female relationship that won't require such high level of commitment to displace it.

donleo92:
Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

VictorUSA:
And I don't understand what you want to pass accross.

donleo92:
Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Modified: to all those he goats that are killing themselves on my post.... Feel free to hit your head on the wall
I'm still with my hubby and we are still in peace ... If you DNT like that fact, feel free to go home and beat up your wives that's if you have one.

Jeferious:
We are gradually getting there...that era where marriage would be unattractive to all and sundry. Na "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" till the death parts the couple.

But this my gender sef...if women are economically empowered more than men in our current society, you'd be shocked at how they'd thrash the idea of marriage. But since it's the other way round, they won't want to lose grip on the "cows" they are milking emotionally, psychologically, sexually and most importantly, financially. How men don't still get this memo up till now shocks me. Maybe some of them do, but their sexual thirst clouds their reasoning till it becomes their undoing.

The world is MAD. Everyone is playing safe in other not to get hurt. I don't see why the institution of marriage, as we know it to be today, should not be extinct by the next 50 years. I expect other forms of male-female relationship that won't require such high level of commitment to displace it.

luminouz:
That dac.blogger geh made a blunder in her post. People saw that and called her out...both men and women.

dacblogger:
Did I tell you this is an excuse... This is an act I am trying to stop. I am not making excuses for myself.
Read to understand please and not to comment.

Lumig:
God bless you woman. And I pray for you to be endowed with the grace to stop the abuse on your man in Jesus name

MadamVanessa:




Inasmuch as I kick strongly against domestic violence on women. But if we want to be objective and look critically into most of domestic violence carried out by men on women, we'll see that about 68% of it are caused by women.

The way and Manner wives talk at their husbands is always sad, and it's enough to make a sane man go insane immediately and unleashed his anger on the wife through beating.

Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insults the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you and almost everybody including your fellow men would see you as a very irresponsible person.

Ayo2004:
You must live in a deluded world if you think every woman is an abuser like you

You don't even have shame.If not that this world favours women,will you stupidly support the fact that you verbally abuse your husband?
I hope your own son will get a taste of that same medicine

Even had the guts to add "may God help us"
Na your type dey give husband heart attack

donleo92:
Everybody is hung up on domestic abuse by men against women. Nobody spares a moment to find solutions to the equally devastating verbal abuse men suffer in the hands of their wives. It is worse because men can't discuss what their wives do to them for fear of scorn and derision. They suffer in silence. Timebomb.

Unfortunately, the Nigerian society has little or no support systems for this kind of situation. Little or no counselling services. It's been mostly left to the church to deal with. What happens when the man doesn't go to church? What happens when the woman doesn't believe in spiritual intervention? These women are raising daughters. Their daughters are hearing and seeing how they speak to and treat their husband. What kind of wives will they grow up to become? Those that treat their husbands as kings or those that believe husbands are nothing but verbal punching bags?

We've all agreed and rightfully so that a man has no business hitting his wife. So how then do you stop a wife raining verbal missiles at you? Leave the house? Okay. But you'll return and it will continue. What next? Leave again? For how long?

Recently, I visited a senior friend, an important man in the society and while we were downstairs gisting, the voice of his wife could be heard upstairs. She was spewing unimaginable bile against the man. She called him all sorts of unprintable names. Impotent, wretched fool, miserable man that was nothing when she married him, etc. This is a well respected man. A father of 4 children. She tore at his very core and mocked everything society respected him for. She said he'd soon crash and she'll be there to laugh at him.

I was so uncomfortable as I beheld the man. He was shrunken before me. He was deflated. He tried to gamefully continue the gist to distract me but it was not working. The woman's vitriol was a ceaseless torrent. Uncomfortable silence ensued. I excused myself and left his house.

I was really sad.

You want to know the truth? This is what most men go through in their houses. They labour and toil and build respect but when they return home, the one who ought to speak to the king in them tears them to shreds and tries to deflate their self-esteem. When they are outside, they try to act cheerful and happy but back home, they are shrivelled because the person they live with makes it a point of duty to verbally assault them.

A sad story comes to mind. There was recently a Nigerian Ambassador who was recalled because his wife released a story to the press that he beat her. She also released pictures showing fresh injuries on her body ostensibly inflicted by the man.

In a dramatic twist, their children came out to debunk the stories and said their mother faked the injuries to embarrass their dad. Grown up children.

A particular sentence by the 1st son saddened me. He said it was as if their mum woke up every morning with one mission in life: how to make their dad miserable. They said they were witnesses to how their mum constantly harassed and abused their dad and wanted the whole world to know that their dad was not who their mum was painting him to be.

Yes, opinion shifted on the scandal but the damage had been done. The Ambassador was recalled and nobody heard from him again.

A family is currently at odds with the widow of their son and brother. The wife was constantly verbally assaulting him. Nobody wanted to visit them because each time they were around, it was always quarrel and the wife would call him unprintable names. Even in their presence. When they try to interfere, she will give them their own. The man died recently of heart-attack caused by high blood pressure. He was in his late 40s. The family insists his wife sent him to his early grave with her verbal torments.

Our bars are filled with men who are afraid to go home to their wives for fear of what verbal torment they will go through. Men are finding every excuse to travel because they'll rather be anywhere than in their own homes.

Everybody is focusing on men as culprits in domestic abuse. Who is talking to the women?

MadamVanessa:




Inasmuch as I kick strongly against domestic violence on women. But if we want to be objective and look critically into most of domestic violence carried out by men on women, we'll see that about 68% of it are caused by women.

The way and Manner wives talk at their husbands is always sad, and it's enough to make a sane man go insane immediately and unleashed his anger on the wife through beating.

Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insults the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you and almost everybody including your fellow men would see you as a very irresponsible person.

FutureIsFemale:
[s][/s]Nonsense as usual.

Double0h7:
I honestly believe verbal and emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. If you notice in society we accept it when a woman complains about being verbally and emotionally abused by her man and we rally around her. When men say they are being verbally abused we tell them that that's just what women do, women are emotional and they say things they don't mean, etc etc.

We women need to control our tongue because our mouth is the equivalence of our muscles. We attack verbally which is still an attack and a form of abuse.

I am guilty of running my mouth and I speak to myself first