MadamVanessa:




Inasmuch as I kick strongly against domestic violence against women. But if we want to be objective and look critically into most of domestic violence carried by men on women, we'll see that about 68% of it are caused by women.

The way and Manner wives talk at their husbands is always sad, and it's enough to make a sane man go insane immediately and unleashed his anger on the wife through beating.

Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insult the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you.

This Madam Venessa is just a one in million. I've read her comments on issues boardering on relationships and they so unbiased, objective and devoid of every form of gender discrimination. I never knew there are feminine folks of this unique nature in this forum. My ernest prayer for you is that the Almighty God bless you with a man that can truelly appreciate you in Jesus name.

Verbal abuse is as serious as physical abuse.
As a man, if your wife has a sharp mouth, there's a way you will use a strong voice and face to warn her never to repeat insulting you, that the woman would be scared to try it again.
It's very simple, just be a man in the real sense of it, don't be using soft voice and face to say something serious, and the woman would know you're not kidding.
If she continues, just drive her down to her father's house and tell them to give her more training for a couple of weeks.
Some women just need iron hand, not all these Telemundo loverboy of a thing.

NigerianAngelo:


Even satan did not want to lose heaven intentionally. Quit this rubbish you are writing here.
That is why Our Lord said: "Whosoever is angry, shall be brought against the judgment; ... whosoever says Raca..the Council; ... and he that said: Thou fool= danger of hell." (Mtt 5)

Nobody can be annoying. It can only be you lacking righteouness and pained.

Pray the Rosary everyday. Everyday. Read lives of saints. It will slowly change you and everything about you. Dedicate yourself to Jesus through Mary. Always call upon the help and intercession of Mary.

Twelve months down the line, you will be (better) able to give your present self advice.

1 Hail Mary for you.

Is there anywhere in the bible where we are told to dedicate ourselves to Jesus thru Mary? Is there anywhere in the scriptures where we are asked to "call upon the help and intercession of Mary"?

SpearofGod:
This Madam Venessa is just a one in million. I've read her comments on issues boardering on relationships and they so unbiased, objective and devoid of every form of gender discrimination. I never knew there are feminine folks of this unique nature in this forum. My ernest prayer for you is that the Almighty God bless you with a man that can truelly appreciate you in Jesus name.

What about me?
I'm jealous.

dacblogger:

Did I tell you this is an excuse... This is an act I am trying to stop. I am not making excuses for myself.
Read to understand please and not to comment.

Charity they said begins at home.The guy is just trying to point your flaws,and you are already exploding here.

haggai247:

Read all the comments tales of sadness and sorrow.

Go marry go marry so na wetin you want me to experience, o my lord.
"When you get old you'll understand " I see but getting married is almost guarantee not to make you see old age.

I rest my case my lord.

Marriage without agreement (Prenuptial) is the biggest scam ever...love is not enough

What I see in future is that marrying will become something that will require proper recruitment procedure where terms and conditions will apply just like normal employment where agents help companies source for staff and any breach from both party can either be resolved or lead to divorce

ExcelDBM:


You started well here but failed to advise your gender appropriately.

Oh, what were you expecting her to say? That domestic violence is justified?

Take corrections and move on.

That ambassador... with his name Chijoke... maybe he did it.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

Imagine the kind of emotional and verbal abuse you’re justifying as a coping mechanism.

Verbal abuse is a big and a silent killer in marriages

SpearofGod:
This Madam Venessa is just a one in million. I've read her comments on issues boardering on relationships and they so unbiased, objective and devoid of every form of gender discrimination. I never knew there are feminine folks of this unique nature in this forum. My ernest prayer for you is that the Almighty God bless you with a man that can truelly appreciate you in Jesus name.

I hope you know she is divorced? Marry her na.

Uziyl:
Most times you see in Hollywood and Nollywood movies where it's ok for the actress to slap the actor over some arguments but if it is the other way around the actor will be termed a villain or woman beater. This makes me wonder what sort of message they are portraying. If any girl slaps me because of one emotional baggage or mood swings she's carrying on her head. Omo. I will slap mine back. Let's both respect each other

I support the bolded and will gladly do same or throw her out in split seconds. Nonsense mustn't be absorbed but expelled.

We are used to it..take a womans word serious at ur own peril..maturity tells u to ignore her ranting or u make end up as a murderer

LocalStandard1:
Exactly what I've discovered a long long time ago. Nobody cares about the the form of abuse men go through.

I have an uncle whose wife is like demon possessed, she never like seeing people in the house in good mood she most say or do things to change that mood. Sometimes he slaps her but for where it never change.

At a time he was actually taking pills for heart problem, a man in his forties oh, always afraid to come back home after work. He has divorced her and remarried with a child now.

Some will block your way and tell you to do your worst.

And the stupid woman will go around telling the whole world how "good" she was to the man and paint him black with the lies that after being good to him and all, he divorced her.

Evil gender!

Succinctly written. Meanwhile, as much as verbal abuse can't be eradicated, it can be reduced if most men encourage their wives/companions to always be expressive, thereby preventing them from sulking and sucking up their thoughts (whether negative or positive, especially the negative/opposing thoughts on issues), which breed built-up emotion of anger that usually metamorphose to vitriol which itself is the core of verbal abuse.

Getting this done chiefly entails none of the parties involved expecting the other person to walk on eggshells around them or have a desire to be put on a pedestal. Taking to egalitarianism in word and action is a must to bring this to fruition.

Summarily, the poor concept of respect is the chief breeding of verbal abuse - except where a habitual toxic woman is involved - whether in a spousal relationship or any other form of relationship.

Well-said. You wailing men should read this. Continue to pet that abusive woman till she kills you or make your life worthless.

SugarGirl44:
Verbal abuse is as serious as physical abuse.
As a man, if your wife has a sharp mouth, there's a way you will use a strong voice and face to warn her never to repeat insulting you, that the woman would be scared to try it again.
It's very simple, just be a man in the real sense of it, don't be using soft voice and face to say something serious, and the woman would know you're not kidding.
If she continues, just drive her down to her father's house and tell them to give her more training for a couple of weeks.
Some women just need iron hand, not all these Telemundo loverboy of a thing.

placeofallure:
Family nuances.

Every marriage with its peculiarities. All kinds of abuses physical, emotional, verbal and the rest of them boils down to our inability to properly communicate in the house. Communication isn't just opening and closing your mouth.

There'll always be misgivings committed by either of the partners. Now if your spouse does something bad, address that issue, ONLY that issue, proffer solution if you can. It ends there. Don't bring the history of how his uncle was like that, or reminding her about how all her sisters are divorced ....how he did the same thing last century and blablabla... Women are more guilty here. That is what annoys the man and if he lacks self control, your guess is as good as mine.

Many men in my opinion are immature. You need to nurture them the way you would your 5-year old. If women understand this, there'll be peace.

That's not an excuse to misbehave notwithstanding. If you are not up to it as a man, don't marry. A man should be able to make informed choices that is best for his family. These failings or shortcomings are the things that infuriate a woman. And if she has an unbridled tongue, reeling begins. Plus men have this ego problem. It's not a taboo to see a wife more sensible than the husband. Men, know this and know wisdom. As a man, you could borrow sense if yours is inadequate. It doesn't make you less of a man. You're to complement each other. Marriage is not a competing ground.

God save our marriages.

Don't marry.... That is just the best thing. The marriage sef na still women e dey favour pass. So what the heck? Mstcheew

Men should learn 'The art of verbal and emotional abuse'....

That thing dey pain women well well pass men self!

Use their weapon against them and see them, caution themselves where you dey..

Nonsense and Ignorance!

MadamVanessa:




Inasmuch as I kick strongly against domestic violence against women. But if we want to be objective and look critically into most of domestic violence carried by men on women, we'll see that about 68% of it are caused by women.

The way and Manner wives talk at their husbands is always sad, and it's enough to make a sane man go insane immediately and unleashed his anger on the wife through beating.

Men should learn how to control their anger, because when you lay your hands on a woman, the society don't want to know the level of insult the woman gave you, all the blame will be on you.

I have never seen a lady make any more honest comment than yours God bless you...

dacblogger:

Did I tell you this is an excuse... This is an act I am trying to stop. I am not making excuses for myself.
Read to understand please and not to comment.

You made it an excuse when you said it's your coping mechanism.

JovialJune:


You men claim to be the head, protector, and all other duties required of you

Even the Bible gave simple instructions to husband and wives to have a peaceful loving home: husband love your wife, and wife submit to your husband, that's all, so if you men wholeheartedly love your wife, the submission comes naturally

Is it men that are claiming that they are the heads or is it the bible that u are quoting that said that men are the head?

You say the bible gave simple instructions to husband and wives to have a peaceful loving home. If the instruction was to both parties, how come you are now saying that "if you men wholeheartedly love your wife, the submission comes naturally"? Where is it stated in the bible that a woman submitting to her husband is preconditioned upon her husband loving her?

Marriage was largely a huge success in the past and this past was a time so ancient and so little recalled. Today, with the exception of few success that we can point out, it's more or less a monumental failure as a lion share of married people invariably end up in remorse.

Infact marriage today is almost like an invitation letter addressed to the devil himself.
Shall we pretend that marriage is all bear and skittles when in fact the internet is full of horrendous testimonies from the world of the married?
In today's marriage, cheating or infidelity is very normal; you won't even be taken seriously if you complain about this.

In the end you are not better than those who adopt babies because you may find out later that all you call your children belong to someone else. Is that not horrible already.

Marriage will lead many people to hell because nobody is living up to the sacred vows made at the altar. Everybody does as they please. It's therefore better to leave marriage alone if you know you will not be faithful to these sacred vows. It is better for you to make heaven as a single than to burn eternally in hell fire with wife and children because of marriage you may not even enjoy.

The institution of marriage is fast becoming one that cannot be sustained giving the fact that the key elements holding it, trust, Love and loyalty are fast deteriorating on daily bases.
Time will come when majority will begin to subscribe to contract marriage rather than the ecclesiastical one that is based on sentimental values.

ivolt:

You must be living in an alien society.
No one cares about insults and neither do people "rally round" victims
of private insults.

It is height of insensitivity to equate insults with physical violence.
Even a kid can tell the difference.

Insults can be worse than physical abuse. Even Scripture says "a man will accept every plague but plague of the heart." (Ecclesiasticus 25:18)

And
"Blessed is he that dwelleth with a wise woman." (Ecclus 25:11)

Insults could be far worse. "He that is angry.. judgment; (but) He that said: Thou fool.. hell." (Mtt 5:21,22).

Man is made principally of his soul, not his flesh.

Men, take care of yourselves!

Have a plan for your own life and old age that is different from what you have that in includes the wife and kids.

Be a good father and husband but be a good man to your ownself because you are not guaranteed the reciprocation of the love and provision that you spent your whole useful life giving to your wife and kids.

Only one person dey enter grave.

Have a hobby and a personal plan B & C Incase family does not workout as planned.

Never give up your own peace and health because you love your children for who would love them when you die?

Be kind and good to yourself. You deserve it.
Above all use your brain and eyes

Nothing hurts a man so much as when his own wife disrespects him.

It is even more painful when she shows her disrespect publicly through insults, fighting, etc.

Marriage remains an enigma for some men, they see women as necessary evils.

But really, your choice of life partner matters a lot.

All women nag.
Try to know how to manage your woman's nagging.

dacblogger:
I will not lie, I dey insult Sha and if not for the kind of man my hubby is, him for don.commit suicide because of the things I tell him.
But the truth is that, I'm a very emotional person and I'm easily angered. Infact my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth...
He has a way of getting at you and he does that on a daily basis .
So when he does that, I try to hold in the anger for days but when I can't hold it anymore, I explode... When I'm done telling him all those things, I feel better.
So you see , Venting is my coping mechanism.
We women we DNT do that intentionally, that is just our own way of expressing the anger that we have held for so long.
May God help each and everyone one of us Sha.

What's your husband coping mechanism, I hope it's punching

dacblogger:

Mumu, simp that is 100 times the man that you're not...

Is it the same man u were referring to here:

"my hubby is the most annoying human being on planet Earth..."

They tell the men THE SAME THING they tell women suffering domestic and verbal abuse and maltreatment. LEAVE THE MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE is not a do or die affair.

Verbal abuse is not as physically damaging and may not lead to instant death like physical violence but it could damage the mental health of the individual and they may or may not be able to come out of it.

That is why if there is constant verbal abuse and constant maltreatment, you leave the marriage even if it means SEPARATING for some time, even months or years. That is if you find it difficult getting a divorce.

For those saying physical abuse is same as verbal abuse, I want to think you are exaggerating cos I would want to test the hypothesis out by:
(1) Telling you "Ogun Kee you"
(2) Using grinding stone to hammer your head.

Let's see how "the same" they are.

This is one of the reasons why domestic violence will never end and we Keep going full cycle because we say insulting a person is the same thing as kicking a pregnant woman on her tummy until she bleeds to death. So the cycle continues.

If a Hulk Hogan tells you "you are mad", will you say the only way to correct him is by giving him a blow to his face?

Nonexisting:
Married men keep saying that marriage is sweet so they should enjoy it and quit disturbing the cyberspace with tears.

You dey mind them.. Most of them are wives in their homes,while the wife is the husband.. I saw one saying he saved his money in his wife's account, on another marriage topic on FP. I just dey laugh am. D day e go happen to am,na here the story go still come..

And these silence from men, have made men to become more wicked these days!

Stop tolerating nonsense!