Johnnycastro18:
I don't think there is a problem in your in-laws coming over to visit you in your house,.....the only problem here perhaps is the fact that despite looking for a job for him he still refuses to work, sleeps all day and chats with white women(probably yahoo,yahoo) who knows maybe that is why he doesn't even want to work at all.......

I suggest you call your wife, seat her down again and express your objections and concerns towards the lackadaisical attitudes of her brother, and if possible tell her what you think about the whole thing, i would expect her to speak senses into her brother after that and if she fail too...you can take action....

She wouldn't and he shouldn't waste his time doing that. Who houses a fraudulent person in his home. That is enough to send him out same day cos when shit hits the fan, his integrity will be questioned.

N.B: Remember many families now support their members doing yahoo and money rituals.

Bobbyjay001:


I am also in this dilemma. Wifey has been very sick and managing so CE over six years now. Though she goes to work (health officer).

Her mother who was very caring and understanding fell ill last year and has been with us since last April.

Though, we have someone who comes around to clean and take care of the house and they pay is on MIL. (She's a retired civil servant)

Mama has four children. My wifey is third and has a younger brother who for married last year.

MIL's first born is divrcee with three children in their hometown.

He second born lives on the same city with us lives in a rented 2 bedroom apartment with her husband and four children. MIL stayed in her place for two months before she's dumped with us. ( Heard she's been maltreated by her daughter and SIL)

My wifey the third born has been battling with ulcer since over six years and has grown lean. We are family of five living in two bedroom rented apartment. Gave one to mama.
Despite the fact that someone comes around to clean and help and goes back when done, wifey still does a lot of work taking care of her. At times I feel pity for her, with her health condition.

Last born who's ismale also lives in the same with us but claims he can't accommodate mama cos he lives in a room and parlor self contained apartment. He's been so supportive ensuring we lack nothing. He's in charge of Mama's account and drops money regularly for upkeeps. He also comes around at least thrice a week to check mama.

My problem is my wifey's health. She isn't fine and still takes care of her ailing mother.

I don't want to sound like I don't want my MIL around. My children are still young (first being 7yo and last 4yo). The small wahala is taking toll on my wifey.

Don't know how to say it even to my wifey that mama should leave so as to take care of herself.
I don't want to sound ingrate or so.

What are you doing to ensure she isn't stressing herself too much? Oga, you can step in and help with many chores.

Considering the situation of things, you can engage the kids to also help with a thing or two since someone already comes to help with some other house duties.

I have a neighbor who’s going through this at the moment

The wife is from Akwa Ibom so she invites the younger sister who has a child to come sleep over steadily
The one doesn’t eat with plate but tray
She eats anything and she’s very dirty, belle sef big pass yansh which makes me dislike her like mad
She’s very lazy and doesn’t wanna do anything

She’s now so comfortable that she’s packed her load to come live with the elder sister who’s managing in a self contain apartment

The husband has discussed it with me on what to do , I’m like “Oga tell her make she leave ur house o”

Any man marrying from akwa ibom just know you’re marrying the entire family
Their self entitlement is second to none
They always need something from you but you can never gain anything from them than sex

This my neighbor doesn’t earn up to 3k daily yet he spends everything on buying them food everyday

He’s asked her to leave severally but she refused, which simply means the wife is his problem

My guy na ur wife be ur problem not the brother
If you threaten ur wife say make she pack her load comot ur house , na that time she go fear ask the brother to dey disembark from ur AP

GboyegaD:


She wouldn't and he shouldn't waste his time doing that. Who houses a fraudulent person in his home. That is enough to send him out same day cos when shit hits the fan, his integrity will be questioned.

N.B: Remember many families now support their members doing yahoo and money rituals.

well you have some points, but let us not forget that this is a family matter( his in law) and wisdom is needed here, I believe after talking to the wife and she agree( or fail) to advice her brother to change and look for work to do, then the man can now have an excuse to let that boy leave his house since he is unserious with his life. If the man uses force and pursue the guy, he may go back to his family and propagate lies of been pursue by his in law without justification and turn his wife's family against him....

Dondar:

Hw fa bro which site u dey bomb

Alla Facebook!

fergieboy:
I bet if your wife brother was a girl

You would not be complaining

I swear I no know wetin man do man..

abeniagbon:
How will a sane person allow his wife's junior brother to come for holiday only to turn one of the guess room to his permanent room...

I have asked my wife many times when is your brother going , she will tell me not to put mouth in her family matters..

It getting annoying. Okay I got him a job at a filing station only for him to turn it down, said that work is not good enough for him ..each time I got back from work is either I see him hangin pillow in between his legs sleeping or chatting on facebook with white women.

I don't know who to report him. I don't know how to deal with this kind of issues... My kitchen had no peace ever since when he is around, even my bathroom cos he bath all most 4 times a day.... He gives excuses both here and there and this is making me to hate him the more...

Please I don't know if anyone had been in my shoe before, how do you handle it... ??

Bro ABI na sir , see ehn na craze they dey use take curse craze ... I think u re docile to accept such overtime now it's time to show him crazy . Forget Ur wife in this matter and act a man . What nonsense and ingredients from him. I hate rubbish.

GboyegaD:


What are you doing to ensure she isn't stressing herself too much? Oga, you can step in and help with many chores.

Considering the situation of things, you can engage the kids to also help with a thing or two since someone already comes to help with some other house duties.

I do help a lot. This is funny at all. I do a lot ve-in f house chores which I can't mention here.

The children do help in their own capacity but remember the eldest among them is barely 7yo.

Wifey does the bathing and MIL is so lean, weak and frail she can't stand on her own without support. We have spent a lot in private hospitals, FMC, Unimed, Akure and other sources of bringing her back to life. Allo no avail. They saw nothing wrong with MIL who's just 66yo.

Even first class laboratories in the city we live in saw no abnormalities in her.

We are just looking up to miracle to happen.

abeniagbon:
How will a sane person allow his wife's junior brother to come for holiday only to turn one of the guess room to his permanent room...

I have asked my wife many times when is your brother going , she will tell me not to put mouth in her family matters..

It getting annoying. Okay I got him a job at a filing station only for him to turn it down, said that work is not good enough for him ..each time I got back from work is either I see him hangin pillow in between his legs sleeping or chatting on facebook with white women.

I don't know who to report him. I don't know how to deal with this kind of issues... My kitchen had no peace ever since when he is around, even my bathroom cos he bath all most 4 times a day.... He gives excuses both here and there and this is making me to hate him the more...

Please I don't know if anyone had been in my shoe before, how do you handle it... ??

Na your wife dey pay house rent? If your answer is No. Then send her brother packing . And if she is not comfortable with that, tell her to rent an apartment for his brother.

purejustice36:
I have a neighbor who’s going through this at the moment

The wife is from Akwa Ibom so she invites the younger sister who has a child to come sleep over steadily
The one doesn’t eat with plate but tray
She eats anything and she’s very dirty, belle sef big pass yansh which makes me dislike her like mad
She’s very lazy and doesn’t wanna do anything

She’s now so comfortable that she’s packed her load to come live with the elder sister who’s managing in a self contain apartment

The husband has discussed it with me on what to do , I’m like “Oga tell her make she leave ur house o”

Any man marrying from akwa ibom just know you’re marrying the entire family
Their self entitlement is second to none
They always need something from you but you can never gain anything from them than sex

This my neighbor doesn’t earn up to 3k daily yet he spends everything on buying them food everyday

He’s asked her to leave severally but she refused, which simply means the wife is his problem

My guy na ur wife be ur problem not the brother
If you threaten ur wife say make she pack her load comot ur house , na that time she go fear ask the brother to dey disembark from ur AP

This cant happen to me lols.

The solution is to send the wife and relative away if the wife is preventing the husband from sending her relative away.

People should not be encouraged to have entitlement mentality.

Bobbyjay001:


I am also in this dilemma. Wifey has been very sick and managing so CE over six years now. Though she goes to work (health officer).

Her mother who was very caring and understanding fell ill last year and has been with us since last April.

Though, we have someone who comes around to clean and take care of the house and they pay is on MIL. (She's a retired civil servant)

Mama has four children. My wifey is third and has a younger brother who for married last year.

MIL's first born is divrcee with three children in their hometown.

He second born lives on the same city with us lives in a rented 2 bedroom apartment with her husband and four children. MIL stayed in her place for two months before she's dumped with us. ( Heard she's been maltreated by her daughter and SIL)

My wifey the third born has been battling with ulcer since over six years and has grown lean. We are family of five living in two bedroom rented apartment. Gave one to mama.
Despite the fact that someone comes around to clean and help and goes back when done, wifey still does a lot of work taking care of her. At times I feel pity for her, with her health condition.

Last born who's ismale also lives in the same with us but claims he can't accommodate mama cos he lives in a room and parlor self contained apartment. He's been so supportive ensuring we lack nothing. He's in charge of Mama's account and drops money regularly for upkeeps. He also comes around at least thrice a week to check mama.

My problem is my wifey's health. She isn't fine and still takes care of her ailing mother.


I don't want to sound like I don't want my MIL around. My children are still young (first being 7yo and last 4yo). The small wahala is taking toll on my wifey.

Don't know how to say it even to my wifey that mama should leave so as to take care of herself.
I don't want to sound ingrate or so.

Are you sure your wife is battling with ulcer sir?
Why don't you go for a medical check up and from there they can manage her properly.

abeniagbon:
How will a sane person allow his wife's junior brother to come for holiday only to turn one of the guess room to his permanent room...

I have asked my wife many times when is your brother going , she will tell me not to put mouth in her family matters..

It getting annoying. Okay I got him a job at a filing station only for him to turn it down, said that work is not good enough for him ..each time I got back from work is either I see him hangin pillow in between his legs sleeping or chatting on facebook with white women.

I don't know who to report him. I don't know how to deal with this kind of issues... My kitchen had no peace ever since when he is around, even my bathroom cos he bath all most 4 times a day.... He gives excuses both here and there and this is making me to hate him the more...

Please I don't know if anyone had been in my shoe before, how do you handle it... ??

I thought I would have read where you sat him down and ask him his mission and what he plans to do with his life

So you are afraid of confronting him because your wife said that you should stay away from their family

Then if that is the case, you can't confront him too

Keep him there and feed him to laziness

Until your wife permits you to ask him his plans

SPOLO:
That guy tried o.
Even when I got admission and I was staying with my cousin....I did all my possible best to secure a lodge .
Though his wife is nice though and I am living comfortably there , but I feel like "I am Giving them more tasks and I do feel shy to be staying at home like that and when food is ready they will give mine..
E no even pass a month I left there.
I only visit them occasionally

This is the kind of person I am. I hate to disturb people

abeniagbon:


I don't have any hate to that, but I hate it when an able person seat down and be doing yahoo yahoo in my house with hope to scam someone when there is a countless of job. At least if I could get him a job and he refuses is that good enough?? To me he had lose focus to game instead of pursue his life. God said he will bless the work of thy hand. Sleeping and waking without doing something in my house is a big NO for me

Sir that job still dey available?

Lifebender:


Are you sure your wife is battling with ulcer sir?
Why don't you go for a medical check up and from there they can manage her properly.

Yes, she's battling from ulcer. We have done that already. We have a lot finding permanent cure to this ailment. My wife is also in medical line.

Recently, she took in intravenous injection which costs over #40k with drugs. She's feeling better now and isn't feeling the ulcer pain for now.

I am just a little bit relieved but I am afraid cos this isn't our first time spending so much on the deadly ailment.

Bobbyjay001:


I am also in this dilemma. Wifey has been very sick and managing so CE over six years now. Though she goes to work (health officer).

Her mother who was very caring and understanding fell ill last year and has been with us since last April.

Though, we have someone who comes around to clean and take care of the house and they pay is on MIL. (She's a retired civil servant)

Mama has four children. My wifey is third and has a younger brother who for married last year.

MIL's first born is divrcee with three children in their hometown.

He second born lives on the same city with us lives in a rented 2 bedroom apartment with her husband and four children. MIL stayed in her place for two months before she's dumped with us. ( Heard she's been maltreated by her daughter and SIL)

My wifey the third born has been battling with ulcer since over six years and has grown lean. We are family of five living in two bedroom rented apartment. Gave one to mama.
Despite the fact that someone comes around to clean and help and goes back when done, wifey still does a lot of work taking care of her. At times I feel pity for her, with her health condition.

Last born who's ismale also lives in the same with us but claims he can't accommodate mama cos he lives in a room and parlor self contained apartment. He's been so supportive ensuring we lack nothing. He's in charge of Mama's account and drops money regularly for upkeeps. He also comes around at least thrice a week to check mama.

My problem is my wifey's health. She isn't fine and still takes care of her ailing mother.


I don't want to sound like I don't want my MIL around. My children are still young (first being 7yo and last 4yo). The small wahala is taking toll on my wifey.

Don't know how to say it even to my wifey that mama should leave so as to take care of herself.
I don't want to sound ingrate or so.

I understand Ur plight. I feel for you. However I am one who has soft spot for anything 'mother'. I will suggest that you endure in as much as she's not giving other issues.

NOETHNICITY:
I understand Ur plight. I feel for you. However I am one who has soft spot for anything 'mother'. I will suggest that you endure in as much as she's not giving other issues.

No any other issue except my wife bathing her and doing some other things.

Her staying with us isn't the issue but I am fighting for my wife's health . Mymaternal grandmother lived us while growing for more than 20 years. I even left her in my dad's house after I got married. She died in our house and wake keep and other things done in my father's house but grandma was buried in her church cemetery.

I'm concerned about my wife's health.

Bros stop complaining and asking for who to tell you to do this and don't do that. You are supposed to be the husband or am missing something here....

lookingfly:
same way someone i know has decided to waste he's life. He's 41 as we speak. Has been proscasting for ages, has to rotate he's sister's ho
and brothers houses to feed. The present work he's doing for the past 10 years (pay:15k per month) was gotten by one of he's sister's and even when they said he should resume then, he never wanted to resume because he felt he is a graduate and can't do teaching job. I personally don't know one would be comfortable with 15k job for over 10years. It's a pity some people have decided to waste their lives because of pride.

lookingfly:
same way someone i know has decided to waste he's life. He's 41 as we speak. Has been proscasting for ages, has to rotate he's sister's ho
and brothers houses to feed. The present work he's doing for the past 10 years (pay:15k per month) was gotten by one of he's sister's and even when they said he should resume then, he never wanted to resume because he felt he is a graduate and can't do teaching job. I personally don't know one would be comfortable with 15k job for over 10years. It's a pity some people have decided to waste their lives because of pride.

am just speechless.lord help me,may I no go such part

Oga better man up. You're the one paying for the house. If the lazy kid doesn't want to go and find work and get an apartment for himself, you have to let him go. Call him and his sister and give it to them straight

I don't see any problem here


Besides your in-law will soon hammer.

He has class.. no be every body go fit work for filling station naw

abeniagbon:


Abeg give me clue

Both my brother and sister in-laws were in my house for a period. After a while, I told them when I feel it was okay for them to vacate the room as my family increased. Wifey started grumbling that, it's unthinkable for me to send my in-laws (her siblings) out, bla bla bla. I simply asked her to rent them a house, or join them if she so wish.

They are long gone and there is peace in my house.

Person wey do anyhow, go see anyhow!

Bobbyjay001:


No any other issue except my wife bathing her and doing some other things.

Her staying with us isn't the issue but I am fighting for my wife's health . Mymaternal grandmother lived us while growing for more than 20 years. I even left her in my dad's house after I got married. She died in our house and wake keep and other things done in my father's house but grandma was buried in her church cemetery.

I'm concerned about my wife's health.

In that case sit ur wife down and discuss with her, ask her if she can cope or not. If ur wife feels that the stress is much on her, you can get her family members to be much more involved one way or the other.

Kimiso:
what's in there to help someone, don't you know givers never lack the more you give is the much more you achieve

You must be a loafers in your inlaws house, constituting a nuisance there and eating free "sister/brother thank you" food.

I really don't understand how people live comfortably in other people's house without being invited and completely lost to the fact their they've outlived their welcome.

I recall when my immediately elder brother begged me to come and stay with him when he was moving to his new house with his wife and a toddler back then I bluntly refused ...he begged and begged even the wife joined in to beg...Omo I refused oo, I prefer staying in my fathers house and receive thrash instead of taking it from someone else besides I detest the idea of intruding in other people's life.

It's either I'm staying in my father's house, staying in my own house or moving in with a friend with shared responsibility...even travelling to a different state and staying in a relative's house is very tough on me I'd rather stay in an hotel.

Some people are just damn insensitive....if that youngman is anywhere near wise he should have observed the Op's body language has changed and advised himself accordingly because such disposition is seldom concealed for long.

Op better grow some balls and send that fowl packing...you can't be tolerating an irresponsible person in your house, perhaps your subtle nature gave him the impetus to continue his lazy lifeform.

Johnnycastro18:
well you have some points, but let us not forget that this is a family matter( his in law) and wisdom is needed here, I believe after talking to the wife and she agree( or fail) to advice her brother to change and look for work to do, then the man can now have an excuse to let that boy leave his house since he is unserious with his life. If the man uses force and pursue the guy, he may go back to his family and propagate lies of been pursue by his in law without justification and turn his wife's family against him....

Wisdom is remembering that his integrity comes first. He shouldn't get his image soiled and if the wife chooses to follow the brother, so be it.

If he goes to propagate lies, it isn't his business. Like they say, truth will always catch up with lies although it might take a very long while.

Bobbyjay001:


I do help a lot. This is funny at all. I do a lot ve-in f house chores which I can't mention here.

The children do help in their own capacity but remember the eldest among them is barely 7yo.

Wifey does the bathing and MIL is so lean, weak and frail she can't stand on her own without support. We have spent a lot in private hospitals, FMC, Unimed, Akure and other sources of bringing her back to life. Allo no avail. They saw nothing wrong with MIL who's just 66yo.

Even first class laboratories in the city we live in saw no abnormalities in her.

We are just looking up to miracle to happen.

Just hang in there and may God reward your efforts of love.

234GT:


This cant happen to me lols.

The solution is to send the wife and relative away if the wife is preventing the husband from sending her relative away.

People should not be encouraged to have entitlement mentality.

The wife getting fat and the husband getting thinner and smaller
Do you know when a man cries while explaining?
That’s to tell you it’s deep

Omo I fear akwa ibom women oo

abeniagbon:
How will a sane person allow his wife's junior brother to come for holiday only to turn one of the guess room to his permanent room...

I have asked my wife many times when is your brother going , she will tell me not to put mouth in her family matters..

It getting annoying. Okay I got him a job at a filing station only for him to turn it down, said that work is not good enough for him ..each time I got back from work is either I see him hangin pillow in between his legs sleeping or chatting on facebook with white women.

I don't know who to report him. I don't know how to deal with this kind of issues... My kitchen had no peace ever since when he is around, even my bathroom cos he bath all most 4 times a day.... He gives excuses both here and there and this is making me to hate him the more...

Please I don't know if anyone had been in my shoe before, how do you handle it... ??

Apart from food and the accommodation, what else is he taking from you that you cannot over look?
Your wife brother staying with you (not that you are living in one room or you are managing to feed) should not be a problem if he's not troublesome.

Young couples should stop making the mistake of harbouring family or inlaws. It breeds hatred and misunderstanding in the long run. Whether you can cater for them financially or not please don't shoulder the responsibility of housing them with your immediate family.

purejustice36:


The wife getting fat and the husband getting thinner and smaller
Do you know when a man cries while explaining?
That’s to tell you it’s deep

Omo I fear akwa ibom women oo

He should send the wife away. Automatically when the wife has been sent packing, her sister has no right to the house again.

After sometime the wife will get sense and return.

akpunda86:



Guy I was in your shoes,
u never gave a timeline,
my wife kid sis stayed with me then,
wify said is a month,
from a month was 3 months,
from 3 to 6,
I woke up one day made up my mind and told her mrw you going
wife said if going going with her,
I laff,
nxt day took her to GUO bought ticket,
came back no see wife ,
I sleep
Nite come reach madam come bk .
case closed

Hahahaha
You deserve our "Na Man You Be" badge

Red De.mon Piller for don beat Madam blue black. They think with their emotions like say them be women