₦airaland Forum

Usually, Inor dey advice person wey dey in love. Op leave that marriage. From your explanation, you've given your all. Don't kill yourself for someone who's not ready to change. An addict is worse. You can cheat, drink or do stupid things occasionally. But when "addiction" is now the norms and the person isn't fighting it as much as you are fighting it, it's already a lost cause. I wish you all the best.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You better file a divorce for your sanity..if he's hell bent then dish him in the waste bin before he ruin your life completely..
Do that asap and stop managing yourself cos of some nonsense love you have for him..that guy is gonna wreck you and your future with his addiction..

You are better off single than being with a futureles boozer..

U forgot its for beta for worse...

kazyhm:
When a husband is having issues, fellow women advice dissolution of the marriage

When the table is on the opposite side, men advice the man should manup and take responsibility.


Marriage is a progressive work....not a destination.

I'll say no to this your assertion, you hardly see niggas telling another nigga to man up when it comes to marriage problems anymore, it's all "safety first" now.
No one should advise this woman to continue with this deadly adventure, she should end the marriage asap if changes can't be made.
Imagine a man wrecking a business jointly built from scratch, that man must be so useless.
Divorce the idiot, you can consider your love for him later, but consider your children's future first if you already have them.

Augustwife:
On several occasions I have asked maybe it's something I am doing wrong or not doing at all but he keeps saying it's not me it is him. God knows I have tried my best to be a good partner/wife. I have no other excuse to leave aside from his addiction. Won't it be that I am leaving him because of a problem.
For the first time in 5 years I spoke to my mom about this(I didn't want any member of my family to know so they won't loose respect for him as I was really hopeful he would change), But i can't talk to her about it again, she would only ask me to pray that's why I am here on nairaland. I just want to hear other people's opinion and make the best decision especially for my children

I hardly comment on story like this because some people cook it up and bring it here just for entertainment.

But I can see reality in yours, therefore I would advise you turn to God in prayer. Nothing is too much for him to handle.

May your heart desires be granted

tollyboy5:
There is nothing there because you might be a br@t

lol

Augustwife:
I had to open a new moniker so I can rant in peace. My head is full, so it's going to be a long post .

I got married to the love of my life 2017 (we started dating 2009) and we have two wonderful children.
He loves me (I know for sure), doesn't cheat too and my in-laws are the most wonderful people on earth ( my mil especially).

We have a joint business but the bad part :he is addicted to alcohol.

He wasn't like this before we got married, he used to drink occasionally so I can't really tell how we got here.

It's so bad that he can't go a day without it. Once he can't lay his hands on alcohol he will begin to shiver like a malaria patient.

This addiction has gotten us into debts that I had to pay with my savings on several occasions.

I'm talking of debts of 120k, 167k, 136k e.t.c. He's takes several loans from loan sharks , drinks like no tomorrow.

He has wrecked ourbbusiness and only with the help of God was I able to rebuild It by taking loans and paying back.

We even decided he gets a job so he can be more responsible but after working for a year he had nothing to show for it.

Twice his parents had to take him to a therapist but it was all in vain as he would go back to drinking.

My head is scattered,I can't think straight, it's making me hate him. I tried leaving a few weeks ago , I went back to my mother's house but trust my mama, she begged me to go back and my mother in-law too.

I don't even know what to do, my mental life is zero, I have withdrawn from everyone, I'm practically in poverty due to this addiction
He is a wonderful man BUT this addiction is a very big problem. We have prayed, fasted, gone to doctors but it's still there.

I don't know what to do .

Remember the oath you took at the alter of God, for better for worst.

I think i was beginning to become addicted to that origin bitters, i had to stop taking it. It's over a year now i took it. I think your husband is depressed. He is not happy, But i don't understand why he is behaving like a child by taking alchohol. His balls are weak. Sound him a very dirty slap he will rebooth.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You better file a divorce for your sanity..if he's hell bent then dish him in the waste bin before he ruin your life completely..
Do that asap and stop managing yourself cos of some nonsense love you have for him..that guy is gonna wreck you and your future with his addiction..

You are better off single than being with a futureles boozer..

See adviser. What is the basis for divorce. is only adultery or death. You dont know the sacred attach to marriage.
Marriage is for better for worst.
She needs to help him and overcome the habit. it can be overcome.
We have drug addicts, chain smokers or drinkers who have changed and stopped.
Do not loose hope

komek:
Shut up my friend.

This is the best that can come from your brain?

Just shut up

Which brain? Does that one look like she/he has a brain?

ebikay:
See adviser. What is the basis for divorce. is only adultery or death. You dont know the sacred attach to marriage.
Marriage is for better for worst.
She no to help and overcome the habit. it can be overcome

You just spoke like a true primitive black African who is a product of brainwashing and inability to think properly..

Have you ran a check maybe the father was a drinkard too or it's run in the generations hence its a foundation problem which can only be tackled spiritually. You have prayed don't forget prayer can never be enough .

What happened to for better or worse, or is the statement one sided?

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You better file a divorce for your sanity..if he's hell bent then dish him in the waste bin before he ruin your life completely..
Do that asap and stop managing yourself cos of some nonsense love you have for him..that guy is gonna wreck you and your future with his addiction..

You are better off single than being with a futureles boozer..

This is an evil advice...don't shatter other people marriage with your wrong advice.

Not everything can be solved with divorce.
Marriage is friendship& partnership, you don't run away when the person needs you the most.
It's obvious she has a huge challenge but her husband needs her now to overcome his addiction.
He isn't doing it because he likes it but because it's an addiction so needs help from a better person to come out of it.

Augustwife:
I had to open a new moniker so I can rant in peace. My head is full, so it's going to be a long post .

I got married to the love of my life 2017 (we started dating 2009) and we have two wonderful children.
He loves me (I know for sure), doesn't cheat too and my in-laws are the most wonderful people on earth ( my mil especially).

We have a joint business but the bad part :he is addicted to alcohol.

He wasn't like this before we got married, he used to drink occasionally so I can't really tell how we got here.

It's so bad that he can't go a day without it. Once he can't lay his hands on alcohol he will begin to shiver like a malaria patient.

This addiction has gotten us into debts that I had to pay with my savings on several occasions.

I'm talking of debts of 120k, 167k, 136k e.t.c. He's takes several loans from loan sharks , drinks like no tomorrow.

He has wrecked ourbbusiness and only with the help of God was I able to rebuild It by taking loans and paying back.

We even decided he gets a job so he can be more responsible but after working for a year he had nothing to show for it.

Twice his parents had to take him to a therapist but it was all in vain as he would go back to drinking.

My head is scattered,I can't think straight, it's making me hate him. I tried leaving a few weeks ago , I went back to my mother's house but trust my mama, she begged me to go back and my mother in-law too.

I don't even know what to do, my mental life is zero, I have withdrawn from everyone, I'm practically in poverty due to this addiction
He is a wonderful man BUT this addiction is a very big problem. We have prayed, fasted, gone to doctors but it's still there.

I don't know what to do .

This man needs deliverance. Take him to a Bible-believing church. Then continue with the therapy thing to complement.

Addiction is borne out of demonic spirit of babylon (Revelation 14:8 | Another angel, a second, followed, saying, “Fallen, fallen is Babylon the great, she who made all nations drink the wine of the passion of her sexual immorality.”)

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You are you I am myself..if you are too pained smash your phone on a rock and stop seeking my attention..boy get a grip of yaself cos I don't give a hoot about you or your fam..

I don't need ur attention.
You're nothing as far as I'm concerned. This is a public forum.
I've heard your opinion, your opinion is ur business. Even if na only faceless forum your opinion majorly exist

God is the only solution provider my sister.
From your story here I understand He was not like this before.
Here is what I will advise you do, go back to God in prayer but this time go with tell Him (God) what He has to gain if He helps fix your family.
God you see created us for His pleasure and not for our pleasures and so, when we ask Him for favour, let's ask to the glory of His name.

Here is an example of what am trying to say:

God I know this is not your plan for my marriage as you have said that your thouts for us are of good and not of evil and that is why I believe that you will help my husband to change because in this state of addiction he(my husband) will not be able to do your will.

Please change Him without DELAY and I promise to do my best to bring my family closer to you.

He who knows what's hidden knows if you are being sincere and if you are sincere, He grants your wish in prayer.

May God see you through.

Augustwife:
I had to open a new moniker so I can rant in peace. My head is full, so it's going to be a long post .

I got married to the love of my life 2017 (we started dating 2009) and we have two wonderful children.
He loves me (I know for sure), doesn't cheat too and my in-laws are the most wonderful people on earth ( my mil especially).

We have a joint business but the bad part :he is addicted to alcohol.

He wasn't like this before we got married, he used to drink occasionally so I can't really tell how we got here.

It's so bad that he can't go a day without it. Once he can't lay his hands on alcohol he will begin to shiver like a malaria patient.

This addiction has gotten us into debts that I had to pay with my savings on several occasions.

I'm talking of debts of 120k, 167k, 136k e.t.c. He's takes several loans from loan sharks , drinks like no tomorrow.

He has wrecked ourbbusiness and only with the help of God was I able to rebuild It by taking loans and paying back.

We even decided he gets a job so he can be more responsible but after working for a year he had nothing to show for it.

Twice his parents had to take him to a therapist but it was all in vain as he would go back to drinking.

My head is scattered,I can't think straight, it's making me hate him. I tried leaving a few weeks ago , I went back to my mother's house but trust my mama, she begged me to go back and my mother in-law too.

I don't even know what to do, my mental life is zero, I have withdrawn from everyone, I'm practically in poverty due to this addiction
He is a wonderful man BUT this addiction is a very big problem. We have prayed, fasted, gone to doctors but it's still there.

I don't know what to do .

what happens when he doesn't find money to take alcohol? Beg you? Steal from the business? Hit you if you don't help him with cash or the bars prolly sell to him on credit until he's able to clear the debt.

kazyhm:
Did you called me boy ?

ignore that girl, one day she will step on a psycho's toe, one that would track her and do to her something very terrible..I know her type...

addiction to alcohol...well its bad but thank God its not drugs....u have 2 options, keep trying to help him by way of therapy, and ofcourse only u can decided how far u are willing to go and sacrifice BUT when it gets to a point where u cannnot take it any more, when u have sufferred enough loss that u begin to count major major losses(in ur own estimation), LEAVE. and dont listen to anyone that pressures u to do otherwise.....I drink alcohol and the truth is Addiction to alcohol is majorly indiscipline, no be drugs na, no be coke

You sound like someone that I know that owns a boutique shop

If na him , it's a pity but he's a good guy

Augustwife:
I had to open a new moniker so I can rant in peace. My head is full, so it's going to be a long post .

I got married to the love of my life 2017 (we started dating 2009) and we have two wonderful children.
He loves me (I know for sure), doesn't cheat too and my in-laws are the most wonderful people on earth ( my mil especially).

We have a joint business but the bad part :he is addicted to alcohol.

He wasn't like this before we got married, he used to drink occasionally so I can't really tell how we got here.

It's so bad that he can't go a day without it. Once he can't lay his hands on alcohol he will begin to shiver like a malaria patient.

This addiction has gotten us into debts that I had to pay with my savings on several occasions.

I'm talking of debts of 120k, 167k, 136k e.t.c. He's takes several loans from loan sharks , drinks like no tomorrow.

He has wrecked ourbbusiness and only with the help of God was I able to rebuild It by taking loans and paying back.

We even decided he gets a job so he can be more responsible but after working for a year he had nothing to show for it.

Twice his parents had to take him to a therapist but it was all in vain as he would go back to drinking.

My head is scattered,I can't think straight, it's making me hate him. I tried leaving a few weeks ago , I went back to my mother's house but trust my mama, she begged me to go back and my mother in-law too.

I don't even know what to do, my mental life is zero, I have withdrawn from everyone, I'm practically in poverty due to this addiction
He is a wonderful man BUT this addiction is a very big problem. We have prayed, fasted, gone to doctors but it's still there.

I don't know what to do .

You can’t save him until he’s willing to save himself
Stop fueling his addiction
Hope he’s not the business treasurer
Nigeria has been plunged into hyper inflation and all your husband does is drink. Smh.
This is not an ailment like cancer or something
This is a self destructive behaviour

He’s so deep into it that withdrawal symptoms make him sick.

I wish you good luck though, it’s the kids & your mental health I pity
So he wasn’t drinking while you guys were dating ? I doubt that though
There’s always heavy drinking history one can rely on but you ignored it.

Better you concentrate on your mental health, your business & the kids
If he likes let him drink himself to death
You should know when to withdraw from people
Love isn’t enough to keep a marriage
Indiscipline on his part, especially now that he has kids
This is why I also advice people not to smoke, it’s difficult to cut the bad habit once you’re hooked

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You better file a divorce for your sanity..if he's hell bent then dish him in the waste bin before he ruin your life completely..
Do that asap and stop managing yourself cos of some nonsense love you have for him..that guy is gonna wreck you and your future with his addiction..

You are better off single than being with a futureles boozer..

You will be a very miserable person in real life with weird outlook and addictions. No be God koba, go fix yourself miss. All this hate for God will kill you sooner or later. If you have no love for God, how can you love your fellow human? And if you don't have love for fellow human, how can you love an husband that will definitely have flaws? Old evening Newspaper. Better get a cat to keep you company

The fact that you are Godless is enough a reason any man should avoid your sorry ass.

bonnyhope:
I hardly comment on story like this because some people cook it up and bring it here just for entertainment.

But I can see reality in yours, therefore I would advise you turn to God in prayer. Nothing is too much for him to handle.

May your heart desires be granted

I think they both need marriage counseling or at worst temporary separation.

Augustwife:
I had to open a new moniker so I can rant in peace. My head is full, so it's going to be a long post .

I got married to the love of my life 2017 (we started dating 2009) and we have two wonderful children.
He loves me (I know for sure), doesn't cheat too and my in-laws are the most wonderful people on earth ( my mil especially).

We have a joint business but the bad part :he is addicted to alcohol.

He wasn't like this before we got married, he used to drink occasionally so I can't really tell how we got here.

It's so bad that he can't go a day without it. Once he can't lay his hands on alcohol he will begin to shiver like a malaria patient.

This addiction has gotten us into debts that I had to pay with my savings on several occasions.

I'm talking of debts of 120k, 167k, 136k e.t.c. He's takes several loans from loan sharks , drinks like no tomorrow.

He has wrecked ourbbusiness and only with the help of God was I able to rebuild It by taking loans and paying back.

We even decided he gets a job so he can be more responsible but after working for a year he had nothing to show for it.

Twice his parents had to take him to a therapist but it was all in vain as he would go back to drinking.

My head is scattered,I can't think straight, it's making me hate him. I tried leaving a few weeks ago , I went back to my mother's house but trust my mama, she begged me to go back and my mother in-law too.

I don't even know what to do, my mental life is zero, I have withdrawn from everyone, I'm practically in poverty due to this addiction
He is a wonderful man BUT this addiction is a very big problem. We have prayed, fasted, gone to doctors but it's still there.

I don't know what to do .

The problem is spiritual. Please he needs your help. I recommend a high spiritual church like Christ Holy Church aka Nation Builders. Thanks.

It is possible for him to break his alcohol addiction, he only needs a professional counsellor. You can send me a message

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You better file a divorce for your sanity..if he's hell bent then dish him in the waste bin before he ruin your life completely..
Do that asap and stop managing yourself cos of some nonsense love you have for him..that guy is gonna wreck you and your future with his addiction..

You are better off single than being with a futureles boozer..

Women suffer more in divorce.... the guy can quite easily pick another girl na

kazyhm:
When a husband is having issues, fellow women advice dissolution of the marriage

When the table is on the opposite side, men advice the man should manup and take responsibility.


Marriage is a progressive work....not a destination.

thank you so much that you see the problem.

FERNANDEZISBACK:
You just spoke like a true primitive black African who is a product of brainwashing and inability to think properly..

Yes I'm black Africa man with dignity and appreciate marriage as holy union. Thank God this has been helping my life. You Mr white man with empty brain if the best you can do is to leave your partner because of sudden problem. Go ahead.

Augustwife:
I had to open a new moniker so I can rant in peace. My head is full, so it's going to be a long post .

I got married to the love of my life 2017 (we started dating 2009) and we have two wonderful children.
He loves me (I know for sure), doesn't cheat too and my in-laws are the most wonderful people on earth ( my mil especially).

We have a joint business but the bad part :he is addicted to alcohol.

He wasn't like this before we got married, he used to drink occasionally so I can't really tell how we got here.

It's so bad that he can't go a day without it. Once he can't lay his hands on alcohol he will begin to shiver like a malaria patient.

This addiction has gotten us into debts that I had to pay with my savings on several occasions.

I'm talking of debts of 120k, 167k, 136k e.t.c. He's takes several loans from loan sharks , drinks like no tomorrow.

He has wrecked ourbbusiness and only with the help of God was I able to rebuild It by taking loans and paying back.

We even decided he gets a job so he can be more responsible but after working for a year he had nothing to show for it.

Twice his parents had to take him to a therapist but it was all in vain as he would go back to drinking.

My head is scattered,I can't think straight, it's making me hate him. I tried leaving a few weeks ago , I went back to my mother's house but trust my mama, she begged me to go back and my mother in-law too.

I don't even know what to do, my mental life is zero, I have withdrawn from everyone, I'm practically in poverty due to this addiction
He is a wonderful man BUT this addiction is a very big problem. We have prayed, fasted, gone to doctors but it's still there.

I don't know what to do .

Ok.

NewSoul:
You will be a very miserable person in real life with weird outlook and addictions. No be God koba, go fix yourself miss. All this hate for God will kill you sooner or later. If you have no love for God, how can you love your fellow human? And if you don't have love for fellow human, how can you love an husband that will definitely have flaws? Old evening Newspaper. Better get a cat to keep you company

The fact that you are Godless is enough a reason any man should avoid your sorry ass.

She's just an attention seeker. Atheism doesn't mean heartlessness .

She's enjoying the attention she's recieving . From 2015 till now we've seen her type severally

JovialJune:
I've read all your comments and it is obvious he is not ready to change, you can't force an adult to realise he has a problem when he's not willing to seek help, and you are enabling him with financial support as per you are the bread winner, my advice is to separate from him for a long period of time let him fend for himself, when he realises there are no more available cash around or you to bail him out of his debts, he will adjust.

It seems you read a different thing. Do you even know the meaning of addiction?