₦airaland Forum

Yahoo boys have used her...next generation of girls people are going to marry rae like that...

You for mention her past wey u help to shape. Was she doing drugs abi wetin? No matter say dem say school na scam e never reach to dey play with your school fees na. If you are politician pls go ahead and marry her if not run 4:40.

Akanoaaa:
Maybe there is a guy somewhere threatening to leak her nude and maybe she's giving the guy money not to do so. Cause what would make a lady spending money anyhow like that koyemi. I can never marry someone who can't manage herself.

Abi?

Red flags all around, and u are talking about marrying her....I can see UE demise

I think she only needs counselling and support.
Things are very expensive and she may not see other way out.
If you really love her and you can afford the debt, kindly do so and support her financially.
It's good to marry a lady from a good home as you claimed.

I can't open my 2 eyes and marry a chronic debtor. Such a person can wreck your finances

Run.

2special:
You're the Problem.... You're the one that need Help.

You got it

YinkaOlusesi16:
if you marry her, u can never amount to anything. she is a canterworm & caterpillar.

Why are you people like this for goodness sake?

Make her your never-to-be wife. Don't miss these red flags. At least, wait until she improves but I doubt that she ever will.

You yourself, you're her enabler. Stop paying off her debt when she messes up. Let her face the consequences of her actions

If you keep paying off her debt, she'll think that you'll always pay them off so she will continue spending anyhow

maikbanj:
Good morning dear Nairalanders,

Thank you for being there in the past with your timely advise(s). I am here again just to get some more on a case.

I have a girlfriend which I plan getting married to as both families are all involved. My girlfriend has had a bad past. She was once abused and all but then I was able to help shape her when I got into her life. I have been there for her in my own little way but lately, she has not been behaving too well and I am not happy about that fact.I will itemize these:

1. She once borrowed her friend her school fees to rent an apartment with the promise the friend was going to pay her back before exams started. Her friend failed to pay her back and I had to provide her with the money in order not to miss her exams. Note, the said friend is a female.

2. Second semester, her pops gave her school fees which I saw the alert. Yea,she travelled down to see me from Lag and she spent some but then I told her she would not have spent her school fees to come see me. Infact at that time I never knew she was going to come because I was sick but she did. So I told her not to touch her school fees again that I was going to refund her the money. She left and I refunded. I paid her flight back to Lagos.

I later found out my girlfriend didn’t pay that school fees. She spent it and when it was time to pay she kept complaining. I was mad at her wondering what she must have used it for. I scolded her and gave her part of the money.(N100k)

3. I have paid several debts for her as she made some mistakes in her online business and was swindled. The most recent one now, she went to get loans from apps online. I don’t even know what would have made her do that as I try assist her when she’s in need. I have warned her severally against borrowing but she went to borrow and now she’s into debt.

I have asked what she used the money for but she can’t even point to one thing. She said she used the initial loan for her personal needs and when she couldn’t pay back, she had to borrow from another app to pay and all. That’s how she kept borrowing to pay another till she borrowed from over 15 loan apps and her debt is running into 350k as at today.

I honestly can’t pay such an amount as I have my own personal problems to carry. I was mad because in the past I have warned her against borrowing and all. Now she’s in trouble and they’ve been threatening her to pay back.

I have told her I don’t have such monies to pay back and even if I had I won’t pay back. I have advised she talk to her parents and siblings about it but she has been scared. I have that money but I can’t pay back as I have more pressing needs to attend to. Since she has refused to tell her parents, I am thinking of telling her parents. I am very close to her family.

This is someone I wanna get married to but with all I’m seeing, I am already having doubts.

She’s from a very good home. Deep down, I love her and she does too. But why these problems, I don’t understand.

Please I seek your advice on how to handle this as I can’t pay such debts. I have done several in the past

Thanks

masmnd8:
Do not marry a liability- a word is enough for the wise

Op, pls dont ignore this. E get why

Onyipk:
No need for financial boundaries. She is already a financial mess who will keep indulging as long as he keeps paying/cleaning up her mess.
Thus, I will advise him the same way I would advise my brother to run for his dear llife otherwise POVERTY will be his middle name when they get married!
It is well.

very apt.

MALIGNANTGuest:
He won't understand now until he gets in.
This is what I have always warned people about.
Always go straight to where Intelligent, & smart Ladies live, then Fall in Love there.
Avoid LEECHES. It pays a lot.
We wey don marry dey sound am always!

How do we know where they live sir ?

Dump her.

If the situation is reversed, she would have dumped you.

Let her sort out her life before marrying and don't contribute to the sorting out. She should be well put together before she put herself up for marriage. If you like disregard this advice now. You will cry later when she uses your property as collateral to get loans to give her boyfriend.

Yes, nobody is perfect, but there are red flags that should never be tolerated and there is incompatibility

He is not financially compatible with that woman. He cannot change her. She's the only one who can change herself. Since she enjoys spending money freely, she'll send him to an early grave if he marries her

Mercury12:
Nobody is perfect.
So before you go for her then you must be such that she listens to you.

Maybe you not doing enough to warn her and beside not everyone is good at spending money wisely and that is why you are the perfect person for her.

Many men also have their wife as the person that puts a break on any of their reckless spending.
So I would say that you the perfect person help plan her finances but you must make sure that open up to you and listens too

Adult men and women should be able to discipline themselves

odinson1:
Women are adult children,you need to discipline them so they know the consequences of their Foolish Actions. But real men won't agree,real men like the op

Wahala don wear agbada

Op let her tell her parent....you're not her husband yet na for crying out loud... Even if you were, its will be hard to succeed in life with this are lifestyle.


All the best man, God bless you and your wife to be.

maikbanj:
Good morning dear Nairalanders,

Thank you for being there in the past with your timely advise(s). I am here again just to get some more on a case.

I have a girlfriend which I plan getting married to as both families are all involved. My girlfriend has had a bad past. She was once abused and all but then I was able to help shape her when I got into her life. I have been there for her in my own little way but lately, she has not been behaving too well and I am not happy about that fact.I will itemize these:

1. She once borrowed her friend her school fees to rent an apartment with the promise the friend was going to pay her back before exams started. Her friend failed to pay her back and I had to provide her with the money in order not to miss her exams. Note, the said friend is a female.

2. Second semester, her pops gave her school fees which I saw the alert. Yea,she travelled down to see me from Lag and she spent some but then I told her she would not have spent her school fees to come see me. Infact at that time I never knew she was going to come because I was sick but she did. So I told her not to touch her school fees again that I was going to refund her the money. She left and I refunded. I paid her flight back to Lagos.

I later found out my girlfriend didn’t pay that school fees. She spent it and when it was time to pay she kept complaining. I was mad at her wondering what she must have used it for. I scolded her and gave her part of the money.(N100k)

3. I have paid several debts for her as she made some mistakes in her online business and was swindled. The most recent one now, she went to get loans from apps online. I don’t even know what would have made her do that as I try assist her when she’s in need. I have warned her severally against borrowing but she went to borrow and now she’s into debt.

I have asked what she used the money for but she can’t even point to one thing. She said she used the initial loan for her personal needs and when she couldn’t pay back, she had to borrow from another app to pay and all. That’s how she kept borrowing to pay another till she borrowed from over 15 loan apps and her debt is running into 350k as at today.

I honestly can’t pay such an amount as I have my own personal problems to carry. I was mad because in the past I have warned her against borrowing and all. Now she’s in trouble and they’ve been threatening her to pay back.

I have told her I don’t have such monies to pay back and even if I had I won’t pay back. I have advised she talk to her parents and siblings about it but she has been scared. I have that money but I can’t pay back as I have more pressing needs to attend to. Since she has refused to tell her parents, I am thinking of telling her parents. I am very close to her family.

This is someone I wanna get married to but with all I’m seeing, I am already having doubts.

She’s from a very good home. Deep down, I love her and she does too. But why these problems, I don’t understand.

Please I seek your advice on how to handle this as I can’t pay such debts. I have done several in the past

Thanks

She isn't ur responsibility yet and no allow anybody carry gbese give you as responsibility


I pray she doesn't rek u after marriage Sha cos things are tyt óò and i know u want the best for ur unborn children but if Dr mama na spendthrift, How una wan take do óò


Make mama no go use kids school fees do hair

If she is not into to drugs, she is into a vice and is using the money to fund such lifestyle. She could be paying for sex from men, from women or for something very immoral. Those are the things that can make someone behave like a psycho and go into debt and cannot point to you exactly what they spend the money on

There's a life she is funding that she is addicted to

For your own good, ensure such a habit is ERADICATED COMPLETELY before making her your wife.

I personally cannot marry such a man irrespective of how much perfect qualities he possess, it's a HUGE NO!!!

Bible says that, A WISE MAN sees danger ahead and hides himself but A FOOL goes ahead and is punished

A see serious troubles ahead for you

Report to her family to help her know reality. Then apart from her business advice her to get a job to be able to pay her debts. A business person you don't deep hands into your money for something of no profits.

Several people that are advising you leave her might be worse than her.

'Let he that has no sin cast the stone'

We all are coming from somewhere, but someone showed us the way. She is financially reckless, infact she might even be giving the money to someone.. But bro, you have to be firm, you have to let her parents know, since you have warned her several times and never yielded..

She will get angry, yes let her, but you are saving her and yourself from financial embarrassment..

And if she decides to leave you by that, fine, but don't let it be that you just left her without letting her parents know what is the problem

maikbanj:
Good morning dear Nairalanders,

Thank you for being there in the past with your timely advise(s). I am here again just to get some more on a case.

I have a girlfriend which I plan getting married to as both families are all involved. My girlfriend has had a bad past. She was once abused and all but then I was able to help shape her when I got into her life. I have been there for her in my own little way but lately, she has not been behaving too well and I am not happy about that fact.I will itemize these:

1. She once borrowed her friend her school fees to rent an apartment with the promise the friend was going to pay her back before exams started. Her friend failed to pay her back and I had to provide her with the money in order not to miss her exams. Note, the said friend is a female.

2. Second semester, her pops gave her school fees which I saw the alert. Yea,she travelled down to see me from Lag and she spent some but then I told her she would not have spent her school fees to come see me. Infact at that time I never knew she was going to come because I was sick but she did. So I told her not to touch her school fees again that I was going to refund her the money. She left and I refunded. I paid her flight back to Lagos.

I later found out my girlfriend didn’t pay that school fees. She spent it and when it was time to pay she kept complaining. I was mad at her wondering what she must have used it for. I scolded her and gave her part of the money.(N100k)

3. I have paid several debts for her as she made some mistakes in her online business and was swindled. The most recent one now, she went to get loans from apps online. I don’t even know what would have made her do that as I try assist her when she’s in need. I have warned her severally against borrowing but she went to borrow and now she’s into debt.

I have asked what she used the money for but she can’t even point to one thing. She said she used the initial loan for her personal needs and when she couldn’t pay back, she had to borrow from another app to pay and all. That’s how she kept borrowing to pay another till she borrowed from over 15 loan apps and her debt is running into 350k as at today.

I honestly can’t pay such an amount as I have my own personal problems to carry. I was mad because in the past I have warned her against borrowing and all. Now she’s in trouble and they’ve been threatening her to pay back.

I have told her I don’t have such monies to pay back and even if I had I won’t pay back. I have advised she talk to her parents and siblings about it but she has been scared. I have that money but I can’t pay back as I have more pressing needs to attend to. Since she has refused to tell her parents, I am thinking of telling her parents. I am very close to her family.

This is someone I wanna get married to but with all I’m seeing, I am already having doubts.

She’s from a very good home. Deep down, I love her and she does too. But why these problems, I don’t understand.

Please I seek your advice on how to handle this as I can’t pay such debts. I have done several in the past

Thanks

If she is from a very good home, she won't be behaving abnormally

harmony75:
Report to her family to help her know reality. Then apart from her business advice her to get a job to be able to pay her debts. A business person you don't deep hands into your money for something of no profits.

Can't you see that she is a spendthrift?

Learn from everyone, follow no one���

You be move away from her before you die untimely

maikbanj:
Good morning dear Nairalanders,

Thank you for being there in the past with your timely advise(s). I am here again just to get some more on a case.

I have a girlfriend which I plan getting married to as both families are all involved. My girlfriend has had a bad past. She was once abused and all but then I was able to help shape her when I got into her life. I have been there for her in my own little way but lately, she has not been behaving too well and I am not happy about that fact.I will itemize these:

1. She once borrowed her friend her school fees to rent an apartment with the promise the friend was going to pay her back before exams started. Her friend failed to pay her back and I had to provide her with the money in order not to miss her exams. Note, the said friend is a female.

2. Second semester, her pops gave her school fees which I saw the alert. Yea,she travelled down to see me from Lag and she spent some but then I told her she would not have spent her school fees to come see me. Infact at that time I never knew she was going to come because I was sick but she did. So I told her not to touch her school fees again that I was going to refund her the money. She left and I refunded. I paid her flight back to Lagos.

I later found out my girlfriend didn’t pay that school fees. She spent it and when it was time to pay she kept complaining. I was mad at her wondering what she must have used it for. I scolded her and gave her part of the money.(N100k)

3. I have paid several debts for her as she made some mistakes in her online business and was swindled. The most recent one now, she went to get loans from apps online. I don’t even know what would have made her do that as I try assist her when she’s in need. I have warned her severally against borrowing but she went to borrow and now she’s into debt.

I have asked what she used the money for but she can’t even point to one thing. She said she used the initial loan for her personal needs and when she couldn’t pay back, she had to borrow from another app to pay and all. That’s how she kept borrowing to pay another till she borrowed from over 15 loan apps and her debt is running into 350k as at today.

I honestly can’t pay such an amount as I have my own personal problems to carry. I was mad because in the past I have warned her against borrowing and all. Now she’s in trouble and they’ve been threatening her to pay back.

I have told her I don’t have such monies to pay back and even if I had I won’t pay back. I have advised she talk to her parents and siblings about it but she has been scared. I have that money but I can’t pay back as I have more pressing needs to attend to. Since she has refused to tell her parents, I am thinking of telling her parents. I am very close to her family.

This is someone I wanna get married to but with all I’m seeing, I am already having doubts.

She’s from a very good home. Deep down, I love her and she does too. But why these problems, I don’t understand.

Please I seek your advice on how to handle this as I can’t pay such debts. I have done several in the past

Thanks

socialmallam:
Learn from everyone, follow no one���

fact

OP, you already Bleep up by making her have that mentality that she can always come to you whenever she is in financial trouble and you will bail her out without letting her parents know, that mean you're encouraging her behavior instead of discouraging it. Since you have warned her countless time and she don't seems to her to your words, you should have backed your words with action, some ladies are like kids which one need to be strict while dealing with them. I DON'T mean you should be physically, emotionally or verbally violent towards her but being decisive.
Any woman who don't posses financial discipline is a cankerworm, the worst of it is that she can't tell you what she's been using the money for.

My immediate elder brother called me yesterday to complain about her wife of 15yrs. When it started, I told him but he refused to hear.


Maybe if I tell u dont marry her, u will refuse and tell us about the mess u will enter in 15yrs time.

You’ll just enter one chance, finances are not something you want to joke with especially when you are legally bound to someone who is financially reckless, if you cannot handle these excesses now, I’d advice you let it go.

Looks like she's into drugs and addicted to it. Check well.