FORWARDEVERLY:

The man is 100% right.. a wife is meant for Sex and food only..

I am shocked. I wonder what they think society would be today without a married woman's sex and good food.
Moreso food.

Like can women build rockets, gunships, matches, chloroquine, iPhone , internet, Tampons, Bose Audio , Postinor

So how do you cook - rice, beans, and dodo with dried fish. or yam and eggs, or semovita and egusi soup.

OriOko88:
You too should stop cooking him moi moi if he says he doesn't like it. A Yoruba adage says, A soup which d husband doesnt like,the wife doesn't cook. You can prepare d moi moi for the kids and you,then prepares his own favorite too. That's d why i don't buy the idea of making time table for food. Why must I be eating a particular food for a specified day. Take for example,why must I eat rice on Saturdays because it's what on the time table..like wtf. A man must eat varieties of food when he so desires.

I think he's frustrated by the boring foods you giving him..spice up ur food and see him change. Ask him what he would like the family to eat before cooking..ditch the food time table for nw. How many men dey eat moi moi these days??
Change ur food time table and see u having ur man back

OP.. TAKE THIS ADVICE AND KNOW PEACE.

BloomingDale:


The Bible is misogynistic so I’m not a believer in any religion be it Christianity or Islam or any. Those religions are the broad way that leads to death and hell. Christianity is the highest form of witchcraft and I refuse to partake in it.

So u don't believe in any religion?
So u don't believe there is an invisible power controlling what goes on here on earth and yet you mentioned God, the devil and 666
My dear your are just confused

wis3:
It's not like he doesn't eat moi-moi, he buys it outside but dislikes it when it is prepared in the house. It's just one of those times when people just get fed up with each other for no just reason but he will come around. What she needs is to be less available for his every needs and work on her esteem and and will be well.

He just might be buying it as a snack outside... Remember it becomes a meal when @home....and e nor dey belle full person.

Let's be frank here.
Lets ask the op what brought about the that statement "your duty is to cook and give me sex".
Some women can be funny at times. He told you he doesn't like it but you keep giving it to him. I am very sure she might have been giving this reply to him " I can't be cooking 2 meals cos it is very stressful for me, me I can not come n kill myself and if you like eat or don't,it is your problem "
For those of you saying why can't he eat it when he is eating from outside. Please ask yourself this" is the said moimoi delicious as the ones out? Why is the man so particular about moimoi and beans?
Ans: it's either she is not preparing it well or the woman is using it as a weapon to fulfil whatever it's her desire. I am talking from experience.

rippa:

Lolz
Where u dey read all this misconception
The woman was created from the ribs of the man.

The rib is the DNA. You can only create another specie from the DNA of another specie. Man was created from woman, that is why the breast of a man serves no function and man cannot give birth. All gametes are females at conception before some turn into males. It is easier to turn a male into a female because the male was created from the female.

ajidikun:
yes,that's also a good idea,but you know some of us prefer eating our wife's cooking,he might be one of us and just pretending about it or being a plain a***ole and not being understanding on the stress of cooking moi moi.

Well, wives also like eating their husbands cooking, I am sure. So it wouldn't break his back to maybe cook at least one day out of the week for his family. He already eats her food 6 days it seems, just one day of the family eating his own cooking will not end him.

Hmm my 2cents
- the main issue here from my POV is the lack of respect you sense he feels towards you. The food is secondary issue.
And because you don’t feel loved ( flowers , verbal support, holding hands, male chivalry) you are not bulging on the issue of food.
There is a communication gap. I am not sure if you both are Gen X or Millennial age range.

Personally, as a Millennial I could never tell my S.O that she’s only good for se.x and food. ( except jokingly but nah - I wouldn’t want my future daughter seen in that light , so I would never alter them even as a joke ) That’s just raw and is an old mentality ( like baby boomer , people born 1946-1960)

What do you do -
1. Fix the food issue - if the man doesn’t want beans or whatever. There are 2 options - let him cook his own damn food !! Or you make the adjustment. The latter is easier to do in order to maintain peace in the house.
2. Work on communication and educating your husband on roles & responsibilities of a career woman and wife. You have to sit him down and somewhat bring this topic up so his thinking is renewed .

Goodluck

Elporo:


I am shocked. I wonder what they think society would be today without a married woman's sex and good food.
Moreso food.

Like can women build rockets, gunships, matches, chloroquine, iPhone , internet, Tampons, Bose Audio , Postinor

So how do you cook - rice, beans, and dodo with dried fish. or yam and eggs, or semovita and egusi soup.

May the gods bless and favour you..
Seeing people like you with same view means that real men hasn't Totally gone extinct and the patriarchy is still here probably to stay .

Modern Women wants to be like men and modern men don't even know what and how it takes to be Men.. no wonder the rate of failed and miserable marriages now unlike in times past..
Respect OG..

BloomingDale:


The rib is the DNA. You can only create another specie from the DNA of another specie. Man was created from woman, that is why the breast of a man serves no function and man cannot give birth. All gametes are females at conception before some turn into males. It is easier to turn a male into a female because the male was created from the female.

Lolzz
Chai
Sorry to ask
How old are u and since when do u have this notion? So we can know where to start from
Because you seriously need help

Madam you are a good woman but u can do better! Sometimes God gives u a partner like that to teach you patience! It seems you love your kids more than your husband! Please change oo! Talk to him in calm way! Flug him with good attitude, let his conscience deal with him! Pray for him, don’t deny him s.x, cook what ever he like and continue to support him more! It a spirit in him that is talk! He is not the one, don’t hate him! May God bless your home

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

if he is not adorning you, he is doing it to another woman. Fi d out fast and correct the wrong.

rippa:

Yes because the woman is the cause of her own problems.
When u do what is expected of u in marriage, you won't have problem. Marriage is you do ur part and I do mine.
She felt maybe because she is supporting the man financially in building their house, so the man must not be respected. Typical of naija girls.

Everyone should be accorded respect. The man must respect the woman and the woman must respect the man.

What I have to say is, 'HOLD ON TIGHT'. You have a good man.

His utterances are congruous with the training that he received. You should sandwich your feelings in a sweet text him, in an old school card, a note, or have a sit down with him on it. If that fails, meet a trusted elder whom he respects and he can help out.

In respect to the Moi-moi. Quit making it for him. If he buys it from outside, make it like that outsider. You will lose your husband while seeking what your children like. Regardless if your children like it or not, If the man of the house dislikes it, desist from it. In that aspect, peace is in your hand.

Pride will kill you. Your mentality of I work and I bring in XYZ is folly. You are a wife. And, a man who considered you his vessel of joy and source of satisfaction praises you. Saying that you fill in his sexual needs and he trusts you to serve his meal, those are glorious African titles that you should cherish. He did nothing wrong by saying that. Nevertheless, you crave for more acknowledgement, which is fine, but breaking the ice to make that happen is unmeritorious.

Thank him for considering you his sexual partner, and his cook, those are not bad.

You have pride, sister. It is eating you up slowly. Check yourself. The part where you felt like you were being used. Dang! You are dead wrong. Stop it!

Give the man his sex and food. Stop looking for titles. You didn't agree to those before nuptial. You did not mention his good qualities here. It shows how bias you are. You do not know the untold sacrifices that man makes.

Cherish your man and your marriage before you lose them

BloomingDale:


Everyone should be accorded respect. The man must respect the woman and the woman must respect the man. It’s not that hard. Even I can never disrespect my little nieces and nephews.

But from the story,
The woman disrespected the man first

You don't need to get mad at your husband, instead, you can stop cooking what he doesn't like for him. You can do that for yourself and the kids since the like the food. Nevertheless, find appropriate time to discuss the habit of directing your two duties to bed and kitchen only. In appropriate manner, let him know you are more valuable than that. If you care to know I will tell you. Any day my wife cook moi moi at home, I will find something else to eat that day

GndT:
You don't need to get mad at your husband, instead, you can stop cooking what he doesn't like for him. You can do that for yourself and the kids since the like the food. Nevertheless, find appropriate time to discuss the habit of directing your two duties to bed and kitchen only. In appropriate manner, let him know you are more valuable than that. If you care to know I will tell you. Any day my wife cook moi moi at home, I will find something else to eat that day

Is he an imbe_cile that she would need to feed him answers as far as her value in what is also her marriage?

Lalakas:

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

When was the last time you had sex as a couple

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

Nawa o!!!

Go and have a heart to heart talk with your hubby na..Make him understand you are hurting.

Then find a way to make the moimoi for the kids, and make a little portable different meal for your man. He is your priority just like you should be to him..You appeared to have picked the kids over him..You may have done this unknowingly.
Just return to the drawing board and figure out the mistake.

These kids you are prioritising now will grow to find their own love and destiny path..Then, you will become a visitor in their own home with allocated time you must not over stay.

Madan this one is your own home..own it and manage it well.

Your husband is hurting inside..go and find out what the problem is before you lose a happy home....
I believe he will apologise..go and reclaim your man like those early days when the love was still a virgin.

You are right but I think Moimoi and beans isn’t truly his problem, maybe the stress of meeting up with duties in this country is taking it’s toll on him and finds relieve by diffusing it on his wife. She said he eats the same moimoi and beans outside. She should just try and manage the situation by not letting it get to her, he’ll definitely come around.

Sometimes I eats rice ND beans outside back then,Whereas my mum cooked the same with good meat

Do you know why? Because I enjoys the crayfish, ND how they prepare it outside

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

Your putting your kids above your husband wahala o!

you love your kids than your husband; D
U get mind o!

If you both dated and this was his same character as at then, you went ahead with marriage that has been blessed with children, then you have to remain because of the children. He may change later part of time.

if I may ask, how long did you both date or get to know each other before upgrading your relationship status to "married"?
I'm asking because I think during the course of courtship/dating, he should probably have mentioned to you, the duties of a woman in his own point of view. And if he did, why didn't you take it as a red flag?

Secondly, these are some signs that your husband is gradually falling out of love for you and it actually calls for alarm if you must save your marriage. Well, the thing is that, for him to still come to you for sex means he's still having a thing in his heart for you (although, men can also have sex with people they don't love).
If what you're trying to communicate to us, is that he wasn't like this before marriage then you should be ready to play a role of revival in your marriage because, I'm seeing a crack.
Uhmm... What kind of wife do you think you are? Are you still the type he got married to?
I just have few revival tips for you that I think would work if you have Faith.
1. Try not to make him moi-moi even when that's what you have on your food time table. You could make your kids moi-moi but try make another for your husband. Do the things that would give him joy, Biko!
2. Call him for a peaceful talk. Don't be rash, present your case to him calmly and reason together with love.
3. If you think you're no longer the woman he married, adjust...
4. Be a submissive wife. Men don't like when women try to equal themselves with them. I know you're both united in love but please give him space to play his role too.
5. Pray for your marriage everyday.
6. Invite LOVE. Remember, GOD IS LOVE.

Girlee:
if I may ask, how long did you both date or get to know each other before upgrading your relationship status to "married"?
I'm asking because I think during the course of courtship/dating, he should probably have mentioned to you, the duties of a woman in his own point of view. And if he did, why didn't you take it as a red flag?

Secondly, these are some signs that your husband is gradually falling out of love for you and it actually calls for alarm if you must save your marriage. Well, the thing is that, for him to still come to you for sex means he's still having a thing in his heart for you (although, men can also have sex with people they don't love).
If what you're trying to communicate to us, is that he wasn't like this before marriage then you should be ready to play a role of revival in your marriage because, I'm seeing a crack.
Uhmm... What kind of wife do you think you are? Are you still the type he got married to?
I just have few revival tips for you that I think would work if you have Faith.
1. Try not to make him moi-moi even when that's what you have on your food time table. You could make your kids moi-moi but try make another for your husband. Do the things that would give him joy, Biko!
2. Call him for a peaceful talk. Don't be rash, present your case to him calmly and reason together with love.
3. If you think you're no longer the woman he marriage, adjust...
4. Be a submissive wife. Men don't like when women try to equal themselves with them. I know you're both united in love but please give him space to play his role too.
5. Pray for your married everyday.
6. Invite LOVE. Remember, GOD IS LOVE.

Omoh Ogah
You know you know

This one get sense small

The problem now be say, if you put her in house she will still change like OP

OriOko88:
You too should stop cooking him moi moi if he says he doesn't like it. A Yoruba adage says, A soup which d husband doesnt like,the wife doesn't cook. You can prepare d moi moi for the kids and you,then prepares his own favorite too. That's d why i don't buy the idea of making time table for food. Why must I be eating a particular food for a specified day. Take for example,why must I eat rice on Saturdays because it's what on the time table..like wtf. A man must eat varieties of food when he so desires.

I think he's frustrated by the boring foods you giving him..spice up ur food and see him change. Ask him what he would like the family to eat before cooking..ditch the food time table for nw. How many men dey eat moi moi these days??
Change ur food time table and see u having ur man back

May your daughter be treated in such manner too

Your duty is to cook and wash plate and wash clothes . .that's all . .and also to be serviced in the other room

Blessedmercy8:
Sorry to say but you're being stubborn to the man.

Your husband can not just wake up and say those things to you. You must have done something that annoyed him to make him say such, prolly to get back at you.

Now, reason I said you're being stubborn is, you know he doesn't like your moimoi, yet you keep making it. As in... Let him do his worse. Abi na?

If you truly care and respect him, you would stop but here you are telling us you can never stop making it because your children like it. By that you're already saying he should go to hell for all you care and he too gets the message reason he chose to be careless with words too.

You claim he buys it outside. What does that tell you? Yours is prolly not as fanimorous ( sorry to say). Now, what have you done to improve your moimoi because there is moimoi and there is mai-mai **chuckles** .
My dad too hated moimoi to the extent that one day after he dropped money for food and asked what we want to prepare, we all chorused moimoi (because we children loved moimoi) and he said "moimoi gbuo gi" that is, "moimoi Kee you". There and then we knew we have tormented this man with this food. So we prepared his favorite, rice and stew.

You need to calm down for your man. You chose to marry him in the first place, so do anything that will make him happy. Coming here after how many children to say you feel ashamed of yourself for letting him sleep with you makes no sense because you too have been sleeping with him. so both of you have used each other. No biggies. Forget and move on.

Look for how to spice up your moimoi. Prepare it for only your children, (give him what he wants) let him perceive your new moimoi, he'll be the one requesting for it.

You don't have to prepare it the same day you're making other meals. You can just make the moimoi on your free days and pack in the fridge for your children so you don't get to overwork yourself.

You're truly a wise and respectful woman. May God almighty give me someone with such mindset.

Girl, you dumb asf! If all he wants is sex and food then Bleep him and feed him and keep your money in your pocket! In fact use your money to buy him his meal as a take away when you want to cook your crap that he won’t eat. Simple! I wish my niqqa only wanted food and Bleep I’d be enjoying my marriage more lol

vincentjk:


You're truly a wise and respectful woman. May God almighty give me someone with such mindset.

Amen.

The only reason he said that to her is because that's how he really feels. Some people need to get angry enough to tell you how they truly feel about you.

This is what she said: He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

I don't blame her. I wouldn't go the extra mile for someone who mistreats me either.

Blessedmercy8:


The husband did not just wake up and say that to her. It was as a result of an argument that stemmed up from her insurbodination. When couples argue they can say anything. Besides I'm not in support of what the man said.
I'm only trying to judge from the statement she made about not being ready to go a the extra mile to please him because he's not worth it.

Pls don't be offended with my comment

You and your husband are extrovert. Prapa-prapa. He just alter that statement because of the way you responded when he complains. You just have to overlook, he has anger problem likewise you.
Let demonstrate it.
You husband: l told you l don't want this moi-moi again
Wife: l am cooking it because my children loves it
Your husband: So children are more important than me. Always cook another meal for me when you are done with moi-moi, l don't want moi-moi.
Wife: l am not your slave. I can not cook two different meal in a day.
Husband: You responsibility in this house is to cook and give good sex