₦airaland Forum

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

Research shows A man with many wife live longer. Those with single wife die Young

GoldenJAT:
As she don talk say she no want get peace for her house, then give her the opposite!! Nobody get monopoly to intentionally hurt another person.

u too much.

I just hate lazy women they can be fustrating

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

Tired for sex? Na lie! Check very well. Either she is a porn addict and a very serious masturbator or she is into pussy licking things. Except of course ,you don't know how to do it.

She's such an unserious woman.
Very unorganized with just 2 kids, what if she had 4 or 5?
She go collapse be that na.

You need to be very firm with her, we women test our men to see how much of our shenanigans he can tolerate.
The moment you are able to stand firm, that's when we show respect, not me tho, senseless women who don't know what they want.

Tell her in a stern way to change her ways, if she doesn't change, tell her parents and leave the house for her for a couple of days and go and cool off your head at a decent place.
They won't tell her before she gets her sense back.

Her mates are hawking with pregnancies, and they still have other kids and husband to take care of, with no washing machine at home o, she's there doing nonsense.

I don't like lazy and inconsiderate people abeg.

godfrey02:
.

a very happy family i guess and a good man who provides all the woman wants.

the problem i see here are eating late, lack of sex, and not doing your laundry. how old is she

Your analytical skill is shabby!

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff

On these two points, she's not a good wife.
Divorce her before it's too late.

I apologize for madam.. Please take control of your children's time to go to bed by 7pm now they're still very young do that fast, let her make sure that they are in bed by 7pm... for madam she's not helping matters at all she's taken life so care free, there's time for everything. She should make things easy for you so when you're home everything is in order.

SugarGirl44:
She's such an unserious woman.
Very unorganized with just 2 kids, what if she had 4 or 5?
She go collapse be that na.

You need to be very firm with her, we women test our men to see how much of our shenanigans he can tolerate.
The moment you are able to stand firm, that's when we show respect, not me tho, senseless women who don't know what they want.

Tell her in a stern way to change her ways, if she doesn't change, tell her parents and leave the house for her for a couple of days and go and cool off your head at a decent place.
They won't tell her before she gets her sense back.

Her mates are hawking with pregnancies, and they still have other kids and husband to take care of, with no washing machine at home o, she's there doing nonsense.

I don't like lazy and inconsiderate people abeg.

The genesis of this man's problems is that he over indulged the woman from the beginning. Maybe he was looking to win 'husband of the year' award. He provided the avenue for the wife get sloppy and abandon her duties.

Neptunium:
Exactly. She no dey respect or love her husband much as well. Much of her actions is from lack of respect and love. She know she get gentle man for husband, she can do anyhow

Gbam!
Nevertheless Love is Earned there is a Void in that woman's Head that needed to be filled and this Dude is not Filling the Void!

Militant1:
Doing my laundry is not the problem... I can do it comfortably every weekend with the machine cos am not lazy and I can afford to give office clothes to drycleaner . The problem is that she doesn't do what she ought to do before 9pm for everyone to go and sleep. The sex is something else. I watch videos of pregnant women demanding sex from their husbands but for me, the two kids we have we didn't have sex for like 11months each. We have been married for 4 years and I can tell u confidently that 2 years in that period we haven't had sex.......

So how do you handle your sexual frustration? Or you engage in outside affairs?

jclassiq:
The genesis of this man's problems is that he over indulged the woman from the beginning. Perhaps he was looking to win 'husband of the year' award. He provided the avenue for the wife get sloppy and abandon her wifely duties.

Exactly!
Men like him don't know that if you give a woman 5, she'll demand for 50.
No woman appreciates a simp of a man, she'll just be using you to play, your words won't mean anything to her.

As for me, once I meet a man and he says yes to everything I say without any objection, that's the red flag I need to run for my dear life.
I can't stand a mumu man abeg.

There are 3 stories in life.
The first person story.
The second person story
And the TRUE story.

I will not conclude yet.

Somebody should send a message to the wife.

Her story is needed on Nairaland.

But wait o, from this your story, why is something telling me I know you.

Zonefree:
A guest here will now think you have sense. Lol

Do you know you are not up to the age of my last kid?

Marriage is scary

I felt sad for you bruv, but then you deserve a lot of respect cos me thinks you're great Man, husband and dad.

Problem here is not stress, sex or emotional blackmail as some termed it. It's simply a lack discipline, home management and deep concern and appreciation for your effort from your beloved wife. I know how I physically and mentally drained I feel when I have to sleep say 1am and wake 5am for a week. It's so disorienting and near frustrating. But you've done that for a long time....Salute!

Bruv, have an honest discussion with your wifey, perhaps on a weekend when both heads are a bit calmer. Talk about everything, especially how mentally and physically drained the situation gets you and how it affects your productivity. More importantly, how if continued, will affect the kids. The sex side of things will drastically improve when the necessary changes (routines) are made. Na person wey en head get better rest dey clap for night, and person wey gast hit road by 5pm no dey think knack by 2pm��

Best wishes �

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

My brother, you’re in for a long ride …
You had to plan a woman’s life for her and you feel that’s cool. You hit her once or twice a month cos your oloshows at Obalende are providing buffer for you.

You appeared to be OK but your home lacks discipline and your family looks like one without a good pattern or structure. You appeared to be an “everything-goes” kinda of man and you do not have a grip over your home nor your children. How on earth will your kids be up at 10/11pm?

I hope your wife is not the Lazy type? else you will see the sandy foundation you’re building crashing like the 21 storey building on Alexandria road.

You need Serious Intervention bro.

Mehn! This is horrible, see what foreign lifestyle is doing to this generation. My brother, if you want to ask mothers, please begin from 1947 - maybe to 1996 before Feminism, GSM & social media.

I dislike women who stress good men..[/quote]dats the word ,he is indeed a good man ..many women prayer point ..oga stand ur ground and make sure she try n round up by 9pm..ofcus she should even pity u self ..chai ..but as for the sex u can’t do much abt dat ..just try to make her see reasons with you..for me, his draft schedule is very ok ..is the 1hr knackana for me

Kobojunkie:
Domestic violence? I am afraid I don't follow at all.

Did OP accuse his wife of domestic violence?

He is right. It's a form of gender based violence. We had a training on that few weeks ago

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

Best part is you are a provider

The biggest issue is that the kids are not asleep at 8pm, Thier brain needs sleep to develop properly.

Your wife is tired. Get a househelp so your wife can get the help she needs and your wife will let you nack her.

Get a househelp!


P.S your wife is an adult... This itinenary you drew up is disrespectful, you can draw such time management for your daughter but not your wife. If your wife leaves you with those children and runs away you will have bigger problems and use your time management skills well. Protect your marriage. Those houses with househelp you think they like househelp ni. Abeg o!

Teymanhenry:
He is right. It's a form of gender based violence. We had a training on that few weeks ago

Who trained you on such nonsense?

Na wicked woman you marry

Is she the one that find the job

Show her small shegey

I'm not against her sleeping late but the kids she must tuck in to bed at an early hour.

If she watches too much TV, stop subscribing.

To solve the whole issue because its a fact, your wife is LASSSZY, get a househelp, she will cook and tuck the kids to bed.

As for the sex part, I think your wife's clitoris ( the honeypot of the pxxxxy) has being tampered with ( circumcision)

terrafella:
It seems she owns a sexxtoy (vibbrator) that she uses to experience multiple orgazms all day, and then you come home to meet her already satisfied multiple times with drained energy. Something must be taking her time and draining her energy. A banker once complained that his wife, a teacher always deny him sexx. She closes from work around 2pm so he came home earlier one afternoon just to find her massturbating with a sexxtoy, she was so lost in pleasure that she didn't notice when he walked in until he called her name. And she go dey form like say na the man like sexxual pleasure pass. Women pretend a lot, only wise discerning men rule their world.

Aswear, if You can rule a Woman Successfully, You can Rule The World ... No be Joke For Real!

lilioj:
Jeeeez, get her the damn help! It doesn't matter if she's a SAHM, in fact they are more tired than working class moms, pls get her a help.

You are crazy

Good.

jclassiq:
Your analytical skill is shabby!

You that have high analytical skill drop your own advice. This is own your put mouth for matter way nor concern. Come here wan dey for analyst...

Tufiakwa. Your description is nothing but a recipe for early death.

That's what you get when big bum bum, fine girl, big breasts are the only criteria for marriage. I bet you will trade all that to get 6 hours of sleep every night.
There is nothing you can do to her, she was that way and you married her, you compromised on necessities and embraced physical attributes.
To some people asking you to get a house help, please dont. that is the worst thing you can do to your wife and kids.
let me tell you what to do. Start by being who you want her to be, if there is love between you two, she will see that her way was not right.
Take a friday off work, wake up when you normally wake up. wake her up them as well. prep the food with her, bath the kids with her, clean the house with her, you sound like a good guy, your action will rub off on her, when she gets it right, please commend her, when she doesnt please be gentle in your correction, regardless of what anyone tells you on this forum, this is your family we are talking about. Dont go break it because you want to show you are a man. you are already a MAN no need to prove it to anyone.

It will take time but trust me eventually, you will see changes, she will do things that you guys do together just because she wants to impress you. please dont take advise from these unmarried kids on this forum, these kids are still on ASUU strike and still believe that love is sex

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

If all what u described here are true then it is true why men have shorter life expectancy than women. Bros I know its ur family but no go die young oo. Cos Las Las na ur health matter pass all the trouble. Women can claim victim wey nor make sense. Just man up!