₦airaland Forum

Saintmary:
If he now marries a woman with low self esteem now, he'll come back to Nairaland to complain about how she can't be ambitious.


Thank God for this anonymous forum though, it makes it easier to see the true heart of these people.

Which people?
Women are wired that way jare!
If you do gra-gra to get her, she will use that to do shakara for you.
But if you make her feel less of herself, she will be running after you.
There are many aspects to flow in different ways with a woman.
He can motivate her to be a successful woman.
But to get her attention, a man should yab her and pretend not to really like her, that's the formula for that one.
It is how you women operate. To beat you to your game, men should operate like you. VERY SIMPLE.

qtguru:
I can't imagine waking up to be creating topics about women daily. maybe drugs sha but not women

But you can read those created by others and learn from them? If everyone was like you, Nairaland would be dead.


Nairaland is alive because people share knowledge and information to help other people.

you walked away, so you keep, looking......

Mathiasa:
I love ur stands but I think sometimes it's best we give them a little time to show themselves more and see if we can correct them. Some might take corrections and some might not. But to tell you the truth, both men and women have a character that is not ok with their partners.
No one is perfect, and most women will always display some form of attitude (shakara).
Pls next time give them time and study b4 ur final judgement.

How can't most of you replying to this thread see that the issues that the writer is talking about border on basic decency? I mean "basic human decency"... or how did we lose it as a society?

This guy thinks it's all about him. You find the girls attractive, do you think they also find you attractive? ARE YOU A SPEC? , you want them to fall for you just like that, LOL... a lady will only show interest to someone she's attracted to.

Thattallgirl:
Hi I wanna ask a question. When you meet a girl online and you start chatting with her and your conversation probably flows, is the next thing on your mind "let us date"?

nope... I didn't ask any of them out. I was just getting to know them...

Whatever

If you are not a Virgin don't come closer to me

I welcome only Virgins in my Life

Don't say i did not warn you

traihit:
You're justified for the number 2 and 3 ladies ...you see the first one, you take the blame.

People have rules regarding the general populace ...people have exceptions to those rules also. You should have found out whether you're an exception to her rule of no calling, no WhatsApp etc.

IMO, the lady is trying to protect herself (men can be beastly when chasing women at time). You see the second lady, she's looking for food, the third one is looking for a tool. Both of them are manipulators.

What if he didn't think it is worth his while

I think that particular one was a fair enough situation for both parties. No one was wrong. He is right to have left her too (in his own right).

bestdudes:
Lmao.. you are funny. So point out where I made a mistake and the girls are not at fault?

Did I ask them for sex or ask them for anything? What will it cost a grown-up adult to be decent in their engagement? At my age? At my age, I would leave any girl alone as soon as I see any indecent attitude or red flag.

Maybe you are the kind that tries to convince yourself that "it is not a problem, continue to try your luck and gets disrespected even further"

Gerrraheree mien

The thread says "not all women"
Ever thought about the words the OP used?

TheVictorious:
How can't most of you replying to this thread see that the issues that the writer is talking about border on basic decency? I mean "basic human decency"... or how did we lose it as a society?

God... I am shocked that a lot of them couldn't see it. We are doomed as society with people like these.

God bless you so much. iF you do not mind, let send you weekend beer money. I do not drink though.

MNDY:
Which people?
Women are wired that way jare!
If you do gra-gra to get her, she will use that to do shakara for you.
But if you make her feel less of herself, she will be running after you.
There are many aspects to flow in different ways with a woman.
He can motivate her to be a successful woman.
But to get her attention, a man should yab her and pretend not to really like her, that's the formula for that one.
It is how you women operate. To beat you to your game, men should operate like you. VERY SIMPLE.

Buhahahahaha


Kikikiikkikiki




Your strategy will boomerang back in your face if you're not careful, maybe not now, but definitely in the future.



If you turn love and marriage into a game, you'll end up with a playa. (Or you think girls are not smart?)



Please don't reply me o, just remember what I said.

ArcFresky:
OP doesnt have a car or use an Iphone with 3 cameras .

My ugly friend dey yansh lecturer, bankers, anything with skirt since he bought his range rover.

We met a random girl in the bank hall the day before, met her in his house the next day.


It is true, good girls require patience and to gently nurture a relationship to grow. Op had his requirements which were not met, he has a right to leave.

Although not all girls are to blame for getting to 30 single, majority are. I remember a girl telling me she wanted to enjoy life, and will be ready at 27. If shes lucky she will see, if shes not 30 go catch am.

is it okay to approach a random girl on the street and ask for her number?

bestdudes:
God... I am shocked that a lot of them couldn't see it. We are doomed as society with people like these.

God bless you so much. iF you do not mind, let send you weekend beer money. I do not drink though.

I do not mind at all bro

bestdudes:
nope... I didn't ask any of them out. I was just getting to know them...

I wasn't talking about them. If you meet someone new whether online or in person, and you guys begin chatting and flowing and all that, what's usually the next thing that comes to your mind to ask her?

bestdudes:
Some weeks ago, this thread titled: "Not All 30yrs Old Ladies Were Approached By Serious Men In Their 20's" graced the Nairaland front page.

Here is a link to the thread: https://www.nairaland.com/7368480/not-all-30yrs-old-ladies

It is highly impossible that averagely pretty and above-average pretty ladies didn't meet serious men in their 20s. It is not possible. The problem with many ladies is that they have a very poor selection and also have a very bad attitude that chases good men away.

I am going to share my recent experience with 3 ladies and why I decided to walk away.

Lady 1: I had been chatting with this lady on Twitter without asking for her number. It has been on and off for more than one year. So about 3 months ago, I decided to ask for her number, which she delayed but later gave it on the same day.

For the records, this lady is pretty, she looks very much like Rita Dominic, very striking resemblance. Just to give you an idea that she is pretty.

We chatted a few times and then I decided to call. The first two were brief but the 3rd was much longer and somewhat boring because I was doing most of the topic or angle infusion, more like I was the one bringing up topics to sustain the interactions.

Before that 3rd call, I sent an SMS to ask if she was still at work and she replied to the SMS and said she was still at work. So I had to wait for about 1 hour before I called.

After the call, I texted her to say she has a good voice. I asked whether she sings or loves singing. It was just an innocent question borne out of curiosity because I could imagine she is a good singer with such a voice

She didn't reply to the SMS. Of course, I expected that, knowing how ladies behave over something as simple as that. While on Twitter, I asked whether she got the SMS, and she said that she saw it but didn't have airtime to reply lol...

That was a lie of course. I wonder why she would lie, perhaps she wanted to "form" or what? Ma'am, it was just a simple curious question.

I decided to take a stroll to her profile that same day and there I saw what completely turned me off. On her profile, she said people think she enjoys calls but she does not want calls and that they will think chatting her up on WhatsApp is better but she does not enjoy that either.

If that is the case, why give your number out? Why not isolate yourself from people entirely so that no one interacts with you? Are you better than those who took out time to spend it with you via calls?

I interpreted her mentality and worldview as someone who feels too important and does appreciate the effort of people who try to reach out to her or interact.

On seeing that, It was disappointing to note what she thought of others who called or chatted her up, I mean these are people's time that can't be gotten back lol.

Lady 2: This one is from Twitter as well. We started talking from a thread and I decided to DM her. I liked her energy. She was light and responsive, very open and communicative.

She started asking for my picture because I do not display my picture on Twitter. I was reluctant initially but sent it cos she persisted... after much chat, we exchanged numbers and I chatted her up on WhatsApp 2 days later. We talked about hanging out in December but she said she would be traveling to her state for the festive season.

While we were chatting, I had called before then, I simply asked whether she has entered another relationship after the last one she mentioned on Twitter.

Guess her response? she said "Do you have money to spend on my head"? For a less than 1 week interaction?

Oh, God... I knew I wouldn't want to have anything to do with this one beyond WhatsApp or Twitter. I reduced my interactions with her and it died.

For the two ladies above, I do not often remember they are on my contact anymore except when I see their status lol.

Let's move on

Lady 3: Met this one after church and we were going in the same direction. I spoke to her and we exchange numbers. We chatted, and I called. We arranged to meet up. On the day of our meeting, which was the first after that Sunday, she asked me whether I have knowledge of digital marketing or social media marketing. I said I do but it is not something that can be discussed on WhatsApp, except we meet so that I can explain it to her.

Though chatting her up was very slow as she is rarely online. She takes a few hours to reply lol.

We met and the meeting was more of a lecture with me answering all her questions. I enjoyed it anyway.

Knowing that I exchanged numbers because I was attracted to her, I had to find a way to subtly give hint. Now, here is the challenge I had. She increasingly started replying with monosyllables like "yeah", okay, no, lol, ,

On noticing that, I knew it was time to exit from her life and I did.

The above 3 ladies are pretty facially and above average... With their attitude that made me leave them alone, tomorrow, they will come online to write "Not All 30yrs Old Ladies Were Approached By Serious Men In Their 20's" lol and some persons will be saying it is true blah blah...

Girls are the architect of their own misfortune. You will see a man being a decent gentleman and develop a habit that chases them away. In the same vein, they will accept the guys who do not have any good intentions toward them.

Others may believe that thread but definitely not me. I do not believe that a girl, especially the pretty ones, will live from age 1 to 30 and never come across a man with good intentions. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE!

Ok.

bestdudes:
But you can read those created by others and learn from them? If everyone was like you, Nairaland would be dead.


Nairaland is alive because people share knowledge and information to help other people.

Pele o, continue the disparaging discourse about women. 20 topics about women on NL everyday, haba talk on weed too nau lol

Indispensable85:
Apart from the one that was all about money, I think you were too impatient with the other two. You need patience to woo a woman successfully. Those initial shakara is normal with that gender. You must know this and get ready for the long walk. My Sunshine did shakara for me for several months. Most times she took days to reply my messages. But I was very patient with her because I already saw what I wanted in my wife in her. After several months I discovered she started coming through gradually, conversations got better,replies became quicker,calls and messages became mutual as against the one way it was for several months. It was the following year she gave me a chance and today she's my wife. There was something she told me later that shocked me. She said I broke her defence with my patience and tolerance. She said her initial attitude was intentional because she wanted a man that is patient and tolerant because of her previous experiences with men. I thank God everyday for bringing her my way. She's been an amazing human being over these years.

Bro.

Sure you weren't the backup plan?

Never trust this gender o.

I like the OP's style though, no time to check time.

Glad you know what you want but sad that you don't know how to go get what you want.

Relationships or marriage is not a child game.... So if you decide to move on with a woman and she fart 1 month later and it's a stinky fart...what will you do?

What about if she shit and the shit dey smell well well .. what will you do?

What about when she take off her wig?

Dude stop boiling the ocean... Just imagine when you find that woman and she sees your post on here and says what is this guy...a child or children that will go on nairaland to talk about her...face palm

bestdudes:
Some weeks ago, this thread titled: "Not All 30yrs Old Ladies Were Approached By Serious Men In Their 20's" graced the Nairaland front page.

Here is a link to the thread: https://www.nairaland.com/7368480/not-all-30yrs-old-ladies

It is highly impossible that averagely pretty and above-average pretty ladies didn't meet serious men in their 20s. It is not possible. The problem with many ladies is that they have a very poor selection and also have a very bad attitude that chases good men away.

I am going to share my recent experience with 3 ladies and why I decided to walk away.

Lady 1: I had been chatting with this lady on Twitter without asking for her number. It has been on and off for more than one year. So about 3 months ago, I decided to ask for her number, which she delayed but later gave it on the same day.

For the records, this lady is pretty, she looks very much like Rita Dominic, very striking resemblance. Just to give you an idea that she is pretty.

We chatted a few times and then I decided to call. The first two were brief but the 3rd was much longer and somewhat boring because I was doing most of the topic or angle infusion, more like I was the one bringing up topics to sustain the interactions.

Before that 3rd call, I sent an SMS to ask if she was still at work and she replied to the SMS and said she was still at work. So I had to wait for about 1 hour before I called.

After the call, I texted her to say she has a good voice. I asked whether she sings or loves singing. It was just an innocent question borne out of curiosity because I could imagine she is a good singer with such a voice

She didn't reply to the SMS. Of course, I expected that, knowing how ladies behave over something as simple as that. While on Twitter, I asked whether she got the SMS, and she said that she saw it but didn't have airtime to reply lol...

That was a lie of course. I wonder why she would lie, perhaps she wanted to "form" or what? Ma'am, it was just a simple curious question.

I decided to take a stroll to her profile that same day and there I saw what completely turned me off. On her profile, she said people think she enjoys calls but she does not want calls and that they will think chatting her up on WhatsApp is better but she does not enjoy that either.

If that is the case, why give your number out? Why not isolate yourself from people entirely so that no one interacts with you? Are you better than those who took out time to spend it with you via calls?

I interpreted her mentality and worldview as someone who feels too important and does appreciate the effort of people who try to reach out to her or interact.

On seeing that, It was disappointing to note what she thought of others who called or chatted her up, I mean these are people's time that can't be gotten back lol.

Lady 2: This one is from Twitter as well. We started talking from a thread and I decided to DM her. I liked her energy. She was light and responsive, very open and communicative.

She started asking for my picture because I do not display my picture on Twitter. I was reluctant initially but sent it cos she persisted... after much chat, we exchanged numbers and I chatted her up on WhatsApp 2 days later. We talked about hanging out in December but she said she would be traveling to her state for the festive season.

While we were chatting, I had called before then, I simply asked whether she has entered another relationship after the last one she mentioned on Twitter.

Guess her response? she said "Do you have money to spend on my head"? For a less than 1 week interaction?

Oh, God... I knew I wouldn't want to have anything to do with this one beyond WhatsApp or Twitter. I reduced my interactions with her and it died.

For the two ladies above, I do not often remember they are on my contact anymore except when I see their status lol.

Let's move on

Lady 3: Met this one after church and we were going in the same direction. I spoke to her and we exchange numbers. We chatted, and I called. We arranged to meet up. On the day of our meeting, which was the first after that Sunday, she asked me whether I have knowledge of digital marketing or social media marketing. I said I do but it is not something that can be discussed on WhatsApp, except we meet so that I can explain it to her.

Though chatting her up was very slow as she is rarely online. She takes a few hours to reply lol.

We met and the meeting was more of a lecture with me answering all her questions. I enjoyed it anyway.

Knowing that I exchanged numbers because I was attracted to her, I had to find a way to subtly give hint. Now, here is the challenge I had. She increasingly started replying with monosyllables like "yeah", okay, no, lol, ,

On noticing that, I knew it was time to exit from her life and I did.

The above 3 ladies are pretty facially and above average... With their attitude that made me leave them alone, tomorrow, they will come online to write "Not All 30yrs Old Ladies Were Approached By Serious Men In Their 20's" lol and some persons will be saying it is true blah blah...

Girls are the architect of their own misfortune. You will see a man being a decent gentleman and develop a habit that chases them away. In the same vein, they will accept the guys who do not have any good intentions toward them.

Others may believe that thread but definitely not me. I do not believe that a girl, especially the pretty ones, will live from age 1 to 30 and never come across a man with good intentions. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE!

DoMeGood09:
The problem here was you acted desperate. Next time, do not be desperate on women. If a woman is beautiful, tell her that she’s ugly.

I told her a pretty young lady last week that I cannot date her and she asked me, I told her that because she’s can’t measure up. Ever since then, she’s been calling me. What works for women is opposite.

A lady who is beautiful knows she is.
Most of them already built their strong self esteem following praises from other people, trying to bring them down wont do you any good.
I personally get attracted to guys who appreciate my beauty and feel disgusted about those who tries to destroy me emotionally.

Zonefree:
The 3rd lady discarded you after getting information about digital marketing and social media marketing free from you. That's where you loose-guard.

You don't give your intellectual property free to people, not to Nigerian girls.

You are confirmed visionary dude. You got the gist

bestdudes:
Lmao.. you are funny. So point out where I made a mistake and the girls are not at fault?

Did I ask them for sex or ask them for anything? What will it cost a grown-up adult to be decent in their engagement? At my age? At my age, I would leave any girl alone as soon as I see any indecent attitude or red flag.

Maybe you are the kind that tries to convince yourself that "it is not a problem, continue to try your luck and gets disrespected even further"

Gerrraheree mien

That kobojunkie of a woman is a damaged feminist, u dont need to reply her.


Even as cool as ur story sounded, if u had talk that one of the ladies physically attacked u and gave u a deep cut without you touching her, she would claim u were at fault that why would you greet her, that it was the greetings that infuriated her to cut u cutlass.

Yoighaman:
Nice write-up and I quite agree with you, but have you taken a step back to see if there is actually something about you that also turned them off? 1, 2, 3 ladies might not be wrong afterall, just saying.

My male friends do not see anything wrong with me... so why should I bother about a gender that makes poor judgment?

I am one of the kindest people you will ever come across, a flaw if not properly managed.

Also, the summary of my thread is about basic human decency... They lack it. WE ARE NOT EVEN TALKING about relationship or dating now because I discarded these girls in the "lets get to know each other" phase. I have not asked them out.

Octopusssy:
Oga, leave story. The third girl is not into you. I think they are all not into you. You are the problem not them. You can't force attraction

if i meet you on the road and i ask for your number. Will i get it?

JASONjnr:
I don't know how you go about it...Bit I've never started a conversation with a lady I like and have interest for, without asking her of she's in any relationship....

If she said yes....I stop the communication



Is she said, the guy isn't serious and she's holding on to break up... I will equally stop communication.

But if she said No...I will write out my intentions, I mean, I will speak it out. She will have to accept me or say reject me...

I will not give room to, "Let's be friends first"....

I just want to be serious and if you can't be serious, then we have to move on.

OP, you devout so much time and attention to get a woman.And you consider so many rules. If she asked you, if you have money to spend on her head...That wasn't supposed to be a turn off....Ask her how much and check your pockets...

If you're not financially strong, why going to look for ladies that's as pretty as Rita Dominic....Abi you no see girls weh resemble James Brown?

You were making sense until you stated that when a girl ask you whether you have money to spend line!
Bro that grl is into hook up,she just went straight to the point!

I’ll run as far as i could if any stupidf grl ask me such condescending question too,shes not mannered and responsible!

Just like a guy asking a girl come lets go to a hotel and fucccccccck!

2Radii:
That kobojunkie of a woman is a damaged feminist, u dont need to reply her.


Even as cool as ur story sounded, if u had talk that one of the ladies physically attacked u and gave u a deep cut without you touching her, she would claim u were at fault that why would you greet her, that it was the greetings that infuriated her to cut u cutlass.

na woman? I thought it was a man ooo... if i knew i for no waste my time.

Mistake no 1: why the three girls blanked you … stop chatting too much with a lady you ain’t gonna f**k or haven’t f**ked .. most of your conversation with ladies should be sexually related except she’s your co-worker or you seeking for professional advice. talk about sex send them bad erotic images get them sexually tensed .. if she ain’t feeling you ,you gonna figure out in a week or two.

AbujaMenFashion:
Chairman is attracted to big nyash, popping skin, and big breast

Which one is popping skin again o

bestdudes:
Well, I am not like that dude. The only reason I walked away is that I am of the opinion that when someone is being a gentleman and decent in their rapport with you, courtesy demand you return the same.

It is just basic logic.

If you're being a gentleman, and she's not returning same vibes, please walk away immediately



Don't put your gold in the snout of a pig.



Gentlemen are becoming rare nowadays, so please be yourself and save your personality for a woman who deserves you.




Among men, there are good men, and bad too, likewise, among women, there are good women and bad women too



Your job is to filter and find the good woman for yourself.



Believe me, one smart good girl will meet you and hold you fast, so don't miss out on such a beautiful possibility because of fine face, ass, and booty.



Good luck.

FuckTheMod:
An average Nigerian girl is very materialistic!!!
If she's beautiful then the mentality and entitlement increases to 99%. This is because, there are some men out there that will do silly things just to fucƙed them. These are the men spoiling them and because they're GREEDY, THEY'LL ALWAYS FALL FOR THEIR TRICK...
Just imagine what the bodycount of this 3 girls would be...
Most are SLÚTS and WHÓRES, especially if in their mid twenties and early 30. They don't give a shît about you, how you feel or your emotions. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU HAVE GENUINE INTENTION OR NOT, What they're basically interested in is what you can offer them and how they can control or manipulate you into keep you for themselves alone if they're getting something from you.
YOU CAN NEVER BE A MAIN BOYFRIEND. THEY DON'T HAVE LONG-TERM MAIN BOYFRIENDS.
She could have 5 boyfriends that she's sexually active with, but the moment she catches you with one girl - just one girl! Even if there is nothing really serious between you and the girl, ALL HELL WOULD BE LEFT LOOSE.

MY ADVICE:
Forget girls, don't chase after them!
DON'T EVEN MAKE ANY EFFORT TO IMPRESS THEM.
FOCUS ON YOURSELF AND MONEY MAKING.
When you become "balanced" and you can offer a lot of values, THEY'LL CHASE AFTER YOU.

HOW CAN YOU EVER IMPRESS OR KEEP AN AVERAGE NIGERIAN GIRL WITHOUT A RIDE?
SHE'LL NEVER BE LOYAL AND COMMITTED TO YOU.
KNOW THIS AND KNOW PEACE.

Gbam! You have hit the nail on the head.

ArcFresky:
OP doesnt have a car or use an Iphone with 3 cameras .

My ugly friend dey yansh lecturer, bankers, anything with skirt since he bought his range rover.

We met a random girl in the bank hall the day before, met her in his house the next day.


It is true, good girls require patience and to gently nurture a relationship to grow. Op had his requirements which were not met, he has a right to leave.

Although not all girls are to blame for getting to 30 single, majority are. I remember a girl telling me she wanted to enjoy life, and will be ready at 27. If shes lucky she will see, if shes not 30 go catch am.

Of course gold diggers come at a dime a dozens, but OP was talking about a serious relation with a decent girl. You don't expect a decent 9ja girl from a decent family to come cheap and agree to date you without any stress, even if you drive a Lamboginni.

What are the requirements of the OP? He never stated them.

toxtimmy:
Glad you know what you want but sad that you don't know how to go get what you want.

Relationships or marriage is not a child game.... So if you decide to move on with a woman and she fart 1 month later and it's a stinky fart...what will you do?

What about if she shit and the shit dey smell well well .. what will you do?

What about when she take off her wig?

Dude stop boiling the ocean... Just imagine when you find that woman and she sees your post on here and says what is this guy...a child or children that will go on nairaland to talk about her...face palm

Sorry but the thread is about basic human decency and basic human interactions. These girls lacked it. They lack courtesy and that is why I pulled out.

I am aware that nobody is perfect and I can manage some things but what I can't stand is when an adult lack basic human decency...