₦airaland Forum

Octopusssy:
https://www.nairaland.com/5779219/when-should-start-having-sex

^^
This explains the genesis of OP's present predicament. Irresponsibility, no future ambition, a scratching punny and naive 'love'.

Make everybody carry their cross.

I read her post that you quoted and with the mentality she has and those leading her on, she might still come back with another story of a pregnancy for another man. The earlier she realizes she needs to wear the big girl pants, the better for her and her kids.

ahnie:
ChaiYou wished
Take heart
You ve now seen the reasons why I cannot be like your
Sisters,nor be every body nor dey fit say marriage like your sisters.


See lizard feeling like monitor lizard.
Go and choke on my profile pics

aggressive single moms. I'm not the dude that dumped you. Take your frustration elsewhere bro

OloYeOfEgbE:
aggressive single moms. I'm not the dude that dumped you. Take your frustration elsewhere bro

Gentle.piss yeah take some painment pills,I love seeing you cry.nor be everybody be like your loose sister

The uppercut painam.
Goan clone my name again ozua.

Victoria938:
What gave u the audacity to get pregnant again for him without being properly married to him, women are the cause of their own problems Aunty carry ur cross

Are you insinuating that "properly married" women out there don't have deadbeats for husbands?

Franciscabless:
1. Am not depending on him but it is his responsibility to provide for me and the children even
2. if i starts working he must still have to provide 99% for us.
3. I want him to do his duty because it is not my mum duty to be taking care of his children when he is working
4. I am my mum responsibility but his children are not my mum responsibility

1. You are depending on him. Your children are the responsibility of both parents, not just the one parent. You are as fully capable adult with a brain just like your husband capable of working to feed your own kids. So I don't understand how you came to conclude that your place is to lie down and spread your legs while his place is to work and bring money in as filling your up with another baby.

2. Is that the agreement the two of you reached as a married couple? Did you and he come together to agree that he would provide 99% for you or you just came up with a number off the top of your head and declared it should be so without even discussing it with your partner? Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman, so don't assume what works for some other woman you imagine out there automatically should work for you. As a kid, back in the 1980s and 1990s, my own mother worked even as she was pregnant. So I see no reason why a woman born many years after should consider herself a born liability.

3. What about you? Why can't you do it instead of burdening your mother after raising you to now raise your own children too?

4. You are your mum's responsibility? What are you? A special-needs kid? If that is the case, then my advice is that your mother should quickly get your tubes tied at this point then.

Klass99:
Okay ooo, but you would think the first child granny is taking care of now, would have been enough experience to teach her something. How they go from one child to two, then three and more in their condition/circumstances never ceases to amaze me. They think parenting is child's play?

Let's even assume that man was dead will she not rise up and do right by these children? That man is as good as dead to his responsibilities. Me, I like the idea of adoption especially when you realize early on (as a parent) that you lack the wherewithal and capacity for it.

We don't know if the runaway in question promised her he would do all the providing and she believed him. One thing is certain: he clearly saw she was not earning anything and went ahead to have more children with her. He knew what she was bringing to the table and was okay with it. She's not innocent for deciding to have a child with him, and he's definitely not either. In her religion and culture, he's the head of the home. Surely he knew all that and reveled in it.

The guy is gone. It's all the more reason why she should join her mother in their family business and help grow it. That way she puts in her effort and won't need to give them up for adoption. She can do it.

One thing she needs to do is grow to ignore these dangerously hot bad guys with huge schlongs and no iota of family in them. Those guys are a dime a dozen. They're all over the internet looking for vengine pics nowadays. Maybe in time she will. But she reminds me of a another user. Is she the user if_yjos?

Now that that's covered...

On the flip side, he's not dead, so why should she receive all the flack for his actions? He should be made to pay for his child. The aggression at single mothers being dependent is astounding. All the blame is hers? He shouldn't have to bring in all the money, because where in the bible is that written and that's not how relationships work, but now certain leaders in the campaign against her on this thread want her to bring it all in without telling us where in the bible it is written and if that's how relationships work? 20 years from now, the same people will side with him as he tells the children lies about why he left.

Majority seem angry at her that she wants him to take care of his children while forgetting that at the moment she is the one that is taking care of them without any input from the man, hence her rages. She's being responsible in her own way and should continue to do so. Her issue is that it's over her head. Who else should help her if not the one responsible for them?

Would you look at that sermon!

Fin.

Richy4:
We all know that she needs to take responsibilities, but is now the best time to hammer that on her head?..

Is there a tiny possibilities that U might be doing an honourable job of telling her what to do at the wrong time? that's just my argument..

No one is saying she shouldn't be responsible...Myself, I was shocked at what she was saying... It was as if I was reading a post of a woman from 1950's.. but again, she is young and pregnant, please excuse that..

when next you see her post in 3 months time, u are free to say whatsoever, she might reason with you then..

The forum is more useful for blaming single mothers and offering no advice to deadbeats.

At this point, the deed is done. She will still have the child. So what next? She has no choice but to follow her mom in their family business.

Sirqt5:
Right . Peeps are only wasting time advising her . U gave her several very good advice on there 2 yrs ago . It was as if u could see into the future , tried to warn her . U , Freelane33 , Justbehave , Pmoye , n several others advised her on d thread well . Somebody on there said she will get pregnant and pregnant and pregnant again if she's not careful .All of u tried warning her . She didn't heed , insulted someone on there. She will open another thread end of next year , by then she b pregnant wit 5th child . 3rd or 4th baby Daddy loading

You sir, are very wicked.

Let's give her the benefit of growth.

Klass99:
You multiply and be fruitful crew, are proving to be the most irresponsible set of adults this century has seen .

You are the cause of over-population which has outstretched real GDP growth in this country, yet you still have the audacity to blame the govt for high unemployment rates, self induced poverty and other ills.....while dragging child free by choice folks, as well. Wonders shall never end!

Of course I know you were joking G.G

Morning ma'am.... You have really said a whole lot and there's little or nothing to be added.
In one of your responses, you said some women sabotage and short-changed their lives, the truth is they don't really see life from that angle because they probably have the feeling of just birthing and God will provide or at best the man will do the tough job whereas parenting goes real deep beyond that and not forgetting the fact that most of them never had the real parenting experience as a child. The only people they will be short-changing and sabotaging their lives are the kids they birth and those who will come in contact with those kids in future for relationship for them it's already a lost cause...


And special request, hope you won't come to delete this your comments, cos I always imagine someone coming to me for advice and I log into my Nairaland account just to present your comments on issues raised and addressed by you to the person for guidance because they are always Klassy. We need those comments to remain here for times like that as long as they are not personal to you.

Sirqt5:
she's got two baby daddies or how many . she's the common denominator in all these , she's the problem

Search the user ify_jos and check if they are the same person. Specifically the thread where ifyj_os was 19 and destroyed her sisters life.

This looks like 2 years later.

They post eerily alike.

You are wicked enough to investigate the parallels.

Jesslove:
A stingy man is more deadly than someone having cancer

Who truly is a stingy man, and what type of giving truly signifies true generousity, because a man who gives might be giving just to get the cookie and what comes after is not his cross to carry, why will OP open legs a 2nd time when he is not meeting a certain criteria financially as a father.

Mindlog:
Building centres will not solve the problem. I work in children's social care where daily, the courts approve children taken away from the custody of repeatedly irresponsible parents and placed to live in care.

When Nigeria begin to meticulously implement its legislation around children, many adults will sit up and when majority of Nigerians begin to think of procreating responsibly, the pace of poverty regeneration would slow down remarkably.

In Nigeria too? Thank goodness for this

How can you be tired of the marriage when you are not even married yet,my dear introduction no be marriage oo. Try to find something doing, may God help u.

He is not your husband. That is the first reality you need to accept. However, your kids are entitled to some form of child support.

Acidosis:
He is not your husband. That is the first reality you need to accept. However, your kids are entitled to some form of child support.

Yes I know that, no need to remind me

[quote author=Klass99 post=118598507][/quote]You even managed a response to my post that was crawling up every wall in here. I'm impressed. This one is going the same way.

See how...

I support adoption, but only if the parents want that. I understand what you meant about preparedness for parenthood, and adoption when unprepared. But majority of people will never be ready (mentally, etc) for a child. Some are ready to struggle with their kids. That's great.

There's little anyone can do to control childbirth. Sex is the most powerful force on Earth, only after envy. People have children for different reasons and I've met some of the most outrageous such as a woman well below the poverty line who birthed 11 in the hopes that one of them would change her finances. Weirdly that worked out well for her today. Or the teen that had a child to "shame" her parents. Or the ones that just like children.

Having children isn't what causes hardship though, because I've also met homeless people that don't have even 1 child. Or formerly rich people whose kids grow up in poverty. Jesus said that the poor will always be with us. There will always be hardship. Everyone won't be middle class or elite. So... Behold this case. On the matter of children, I believe parents should birth them however they please. Because they are poor doesn't mean they cannot have what they want. The rest of us will foot the bill as good Christians. Or as semi-honest citizens.

What is needed is adult/parent education. How to bring a child into the world. Why to bring a child into the world. What to do with the child in the world. How to care for them and build them up. Are you ready to show them unconditional love? But it shouldn't bother posters much. It's not as if they pay taxes that go towards these kinds of things. They should focus on creating billboards that advice women and men to think carefully about unprotected sex.

Plus, planning meticulously for children is pointless as the life belongs to those children to do with whatever they choose. Regardless of where you birth them, they will become who they want to be. Many raised flowers that became weeds.

Klass, you need to click the "stop sermon" button.

I'm not going to comment on this thread again. But as a serial violator, I have.

GboyegaD:
I read her post that you quoted and with the mentality she has and those leading her on, she might still come back with another story of a pregnancy for another man. The earlier she realizes she needs to wear the big girl pants, the better for her and her kids.

I seriously doubt she is ready.

GboyegaD:
Until proven, if he didn't sign the birth certificate and the child is born out of wedlock, then it is "mama's baby, papa maybe"

I never mentioned anyone to be the problem. My point has always been she should play her part of the responsibility.

Once a man doesn't want family responsibilities his next claim is that it's not his child. No wonder there are so many deadbeats. The fatherhood bar is very low and easy.

Her part of the responsibility that you're pushing for means she should carry the entire financial burden alone to prove she's the real mother of the child and that she birthed it via parthenogenesis?

BRATISLAVA:
Once a man doesn't want family responsibilities his next claim is that it's not his child. No wonder there are so many deadbeats. The fatherhood bar is very low and easy.

Her part of the responsibility that you're pushing for means she should carry the entire financial burden alone to prove she's the real mother of the child and that she birthed it via parthenogenesis?

You keep jumping at my post without understanding. You stated that the court can force a man to pay for child upkeep and my response is the court doesn't just pronounce you a father because the mother of the child said so. Until a DNA test is conducted and you are found to be the father, or you signed the birth certificate acknowledging paternity, the court cannot force you.

Do you want to blame the men 100%? Until you hear the full gist, the best is to tell her she has a responsibility towards her children. When she is willing to play her part, she can ask the men to play theirs too. It takes two to have a child and not one like she is painting, and you are also encouraging. If two men are not taking care of the kids she bore for them, there could be more than we can see in the post.

Lastly, how many deadbeat fathers do you know? Perhaps, you may want to watch the circle you relate with if you know many.

Klass99:
Kayode my guy . I feel you on that first paragraph, but you know the drill na the comments will be deleted shortly, the people I engaged with, who engaged back have all seen them. There's no point leaving the posts up.

This GenZ people no dey hear word and extreme rudeness is their default reaction to everything. Na those kind people you wan advise or offer guidance to? It is better they make their mistakes, live through the consequences and learn a thing or two.

Some will still make good use of it,but whichever decision I'm cool with it.

Kobojunkie:
In Nigeria too? Thank goodness for this

No, not in Nigeria.

ahnie:
Gentle.piss yeah take some painment pills,I love seeing you cry.nor be everybody be like your loose sister

The uppercut painam.
Goan clone my name again ozua.

Awwww..... You be evening newspaper,nobody needs you.

Go and meet the father of your child.. stop misbehaving here. I nor like you..No vex

hahahahahahaha

Search for Justice Court on YouTube by judge funmi she will help you.

GboyegaD:
1. You keep jumping at my post without understanding. You stated that the court can force a man to pay for child upkeep and my response is the court doesn't just pronounce you a father because the mother of the child said so. Until a DNA test is conducted and you are found to be the father, or you signed the birth certificate acknowledging paternity, the court cannot force you.

Even though a court can force a man to pay, it cannot force him to pay 99% that OP demands the man pay. The woman has her share of the responsibility that is the upkeep of her children's upkeep as well.

Having a womb and carrying a child does not in any way absolve a woman from responsibility as far as her children's upkeep.

BRATISLAVA:
A man who cannot provide for his family is an infidel.

Same bible says so. Why can't men read that part? Nowhere was it said that a woman should earn her keep by sweat.

It is men who are cursed to do that in that bible. So why should women have to toil the way you expect them to?

A lot of you only want the bible when you need a slave. Not when you need to be men. Submission isn't the part of the bible that teaches deadbeats to be men so it is pointless to drag women through what men should do for themselves to make themselves better.

Submission isn't the cure for deadbeatery.

Religious opiate.

Actually the bible didn't say this that verse has been used out of context


The chapter was talking about taking care of Widows and the poor within the family.
Because of how the early Church was set up doing charity, many people abandoned their widowed mothers and poor family members to the church to providing for.

The bible verse Actually says " anyone " and if you read well you will see where it speaks to the children and family members of the poor and widowed and not just men.



Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.(D) 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents,(E) for this is pleasing to God.(F) 5 The widow who is really in need(G) and left all alone puts her hope in God(H) and continues night and day to pray(I) and to ask God for help. 6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives.(J) 7 Give the people these instructions,(K) so that no one may be open to blame. 8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied(L) the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Eketem so you mean this woman shouting 99% upandan and her baby fathers are all infidels .
Franciscabless you don hear? When you born finish get off your lazy, entitled, baby factory ass and hustle for the future of your children. Lazy and broke woman. Tueh

Eketem:
Actually the bible didn't say this that verse has been used out of context


The chapter was talking about taking care of Widows and the poor within the family.
Because of how the early Church was set up doing charity, many people abandoned their widowed mothers and poor family members to the church to providing for.

The bible verse Actually says " anyone " and if you read well you will see where it speaks to the children and family members of the poor and widowed and not just men.



Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.(D) 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents,(E) for this is pleasing to God.(F) 5 The widow who is really in need(G) and left all alone puts her hope in God(H) and continues night and day to pray(I) and to ask God for help. 6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives.(J) 7 Give the people these instructions,(K) so that no one may be open to blame. 8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied(L) the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

If the bible didn't say that, then it said nothing about submission.

OloYeOfEgbE:
aggressive single moms. I'm not the dude that dumped you. Take your frustration elsewhere bro

OloYeOfEgbE:
Awwww..... You be evening newspaper,nobody needs you.

Go and meet the father of your child.. stop misbehaving here. I nor like you..No vex

hahahahahahaha

Wotoporiously speaking carry on comrade.

James289:
Search for Justice Court on YouTube by judge funmi she will help you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FggVFwGWQbI
I found this particular one here that could help but still, OP needs to do her bit in providing for her kids. No court will allow her sit back on 99% when she is not mentally retard_ed or disabled. And no right-thinking judge will force a man to pay for the upkeep of a child he did not officially adopt as his own.

Having a womb and being able to pop out babies does not endow upon anyone the license to become and existence as a liability.