MsJackson:

She always tells me: mum when are we going to her house to beat her up?�

ibkayee:

OP said that the family have been ‘codedly’ behaving as though they believe it happened and begging the husband. Is that not incriminating enough for you?

ibkayee post=119719697
Why are you trying to reeaaaacccchhhhh for all other alternative explanations other than the one staring you in the face?

The ‘possibility’ of the 4 year old coming up with the story because she saw her parents or an adult movie are the least plausible of explanations based on the information the OP has given so I’m not even bothering to give it any energy.[/quote]
Yes, OP has directly given us all the variables in her narrative;
1. Her child can't come up with such an act from nowhere.
2. Her child can't be bold enough to repeat it soo .any times.
3. She was already weary of leaving her child with the other family.

But what happens to variables that are outside the equation(narrative)?
1. Like the 15year old could also be honest.
2. Like the family of the 15year old trust their own child as much as the OP trust her own child.
3. Like the 15 year old is the most decent person the home/environment of the other family?
All I'm saying is that whenever something could also destroy the heart of an extended party, you should thread with care&regard.
Do you know how heartbreaking it would be to the other family if they always viewed the victim(the 4year old) as their own child.

[quote author=ibkayee:

A parent having a strong emotional response to hearing their close to toddler aged child, let alone just being their child may have been molested is pretty understandable, to me at least.

MsJackson:
Good morning house. I need your opinion on this issue.

Around May last year, my husband and I went with my 4 year old daughter to visit my sister in-law (hubby's elder sister). They insisted they wanted her to stay some days with them, that I should return for her in two or three days time.

After much persuasion from my oga, I left her. But my heart wasn't settled because I've never stayed away from her for that long.
I just noticed that when we called her on video call the very next morning, she looked and sounded depressed, telling us to come take her home. I just thought she was missing me.

I returned the next three days to pick her up. It was even the oldest cousin, a 15 year old girl, who was actually very fond of my daughter that helped me carry her on her back and saw us off to the bustop.

Two or 3 months later, at the end of a Bible study I had with her, my baby said she wanted to tell me something. Hubby was lying on the couch. My baby said the period I took her to that house, the 15 year old girl was always sucking her vagina. My brain shut down immediately. Her dad jumped from the couch and told her to repeat what she just said. She did. She also said that the girl usually holds her mouth close during the act, and that she beats the girl on the head to stop what she was doing, but the girl refused and beat my daughter back.

I broke down. Hubby had never become so mad at his family to the extent of turning his back on them, to the extent of shutting his dad up, but he did all these because his only child was involved.

The family, they all said my daughter was lying. My question is: can a four year old lie about such? The nature of this supposed lie. I don't think so. But all the family members said my daughter lied. And even the girl denied it.
They are totally refusing to address this. They even after some weeks have codedly believe such happened and have called my husband to beg, hubby said so, I don't know if it's true or not. But me the wife, NOBODY, I REPEAT, NOBODY CALLED ME. Like I am nothing in their eyes. Not even the evil mother that insisted my daughter spent some days with them. It's not like if they called me to apologize it would change the past, no, but I might have some tiny relief.

My daughter talks about that experience till date. Even up till yesterday. I am beyond heartbroken. I can't forgive.

The family all turned their face away. Nobody cared to address it, even his parents. I'm thinking of going to their church to expose her because I hear the 15 year old girl is getting baptized next week. Hubby told me to forget about it, his brother told me not to try it. But anytime my daughter remembers this incident and brings it up, I become very disturbed. I don't know what to do.

Please advise me.

incogni2o:


If your daughter speaks the truth, I am sorry about the trauma.

I think though that you should focus more on how your daughter is healed of this experience to prevent it hunting her in the future, and how she understands the world outside is cruel and not always as it seems.

This quote should make you suspect your daughter too, its either she is truly hurt and filled with real hate right now(which is dangerous for a 4 year old) or she is trying to retaliate for that girl offending her for something else. Smart little children can cook up smart lies at times.

nairamaniac:

I swear down.
Honestly the daughter could actually have been molested. Which is very very terrible.

But see this kind of statement a 4year old would make?

THAT MUMMY WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BEAT HER UP?
Imagine?

Some mum's actually tell their daughters everytime things like *IF ANYBODY TOUCHES YOU ON YOUR PEEPEE, COME AND TELL ME, LET ME DEAL WITH THE PERSON*
THEY TELL 3 YEAR OLD AND 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTERS.
Nothing wrong with that.

But this is the Con of such methods;
Whenever the daughter was another person beaten or delth with, they would go and tell their mum that *SO SO AND SO PERSON TOUCHED MY PEEPEE*.

It's really not easy

AbujaCitiBlog:
You are mad! Is it a man that perpetrated the act? You are sick upstairs. A 15 year old lesbian brutally raped a four year female child and you are here saying the heart of man is wicked! Wetin man do you? Otondo!

dettolgel:


It is possible but a 4 year old can not keep a story straight (unless he or she is exceptional) there are probing questions you ask them and they begin to flutter.

nairamaniac:

Take it easy, THE HEART OF A MAN is just an IDIOMATIC EXPRESSION.

*MAN* in this case refers to both GENDERS/SEXES.
It's like saying DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS. Doesn't mean blue is a colour worn by the devil.


It's some deep figure of speech.

Go and apologize to southsouthking. We learn everyday.

nairamaniac:

It's obvious tht the OP didn't agressively probe her child.
At least in no part of the narrative did she agreessively probe her child.

mariahAngel:


Aggressively probe a 4yr old?
For what?

southsouthking:


You could clearly see i didn't even reply him.
I'm just to focus on 2023.

nairamaniac:

If the 4year old is strong enough to always remind the mum of going to beat the other accussed child, then she should be strong enough to be agreesively psychologylically probed.

nairamaniac:

This is a faceless forum.
Iv been in more sensitive positions. Others have also been in similar or worse situations. But considered but sides of the equation.
Yes, it's not always easy to handle things calmly/tactfully when found in that situation.
But you don't throw an entire family(family you are related to via marriage) under the bus becos a child from that family was accused of committing a crime against your own child.

Do you remember the scandal that trended land year.
What's that stand up comedians name again?
The woman that had an adopted daughter and the daughter reported a family friend (like and uncle) to them that the uncle molested her at a younger age.

How did the actress go about it?

Didn't she set the uncle up on live camera? And the whole thing was revealed?

There are a million ways to go about things.

I have a policy in life. Any method you cannot apply for anyone, do not apply it on selected few.
You get my drift?
This is what I mean;

Let's take it for instance that in this case, the suspect was Aliko Dangote, and the woman was pursuing a billion naira contract from him.
Would she&her husband have been soooo rash in her reactions?
Or would have threaded more tactfully?


She would likely have threaded more tactfully knowing A FALSE ACCUSATION or A MISTAKE would blow up many other positive things stood to gain from a progressive/harmonious relationship with THE ALIKO DANGOTE.
She would have equated the Value of her relationship to HER IN-LAWS(all things being equal) to over A BILLION NAIRA.
This is me in real life every fvcking day.
Even though I have one of the most rugged sides u can ever think of.


MORAL to this is to be calm&respectful to those related to an issue even in the face of adversity.

nairamaniac:

Forgive am. No be everything we all know. Some people still dey vex if person tell them say *go and get a FORK*.
Not knowing say naa cutlery them dey refer to.

Mercury12:
that is what I hate about these lesbians and gay abominables. They molest minors and recruit other people to their forbidden, dirty and disgusting immoral act. May they all burn in hell

mariahAngel:


Why wouldn't she remind her mum to go beat up her offender, when she was deeply offended, beyond what her innocent mind could bear?
Are you saying that she could be lying?
Do you know the number of children that have been molested, but are too afraid to speak up?
That little girl was brave to speak up, and they mustn't allow that bravery to be in vain.

Engrjamjam:
That person you quoted is sick.

Engrjamjam:
You're an id1ot

MsJackson:
Good morning house. I need your opinion on this issue.

Around May last year, my husband and I went with my 4 year old daughter to visit my sister in-law (hubby's elder sister). They insisted they wanted her to stay some days with them, that I should return for her in two or three days time.

After much persuasion from my oga, I left her. But my heart wasn't settled because I've never stayed away from her for that long.
I just noticed that when we called her on video call the very next morning, she looked and sounded depressed, telling us to come take her home. I just thought she was missing me.

I returned the next three days to pick her up. It was even the oldest cousin, a 15 year old girl, who was actually very fond of my daughter that helped me carry her on her back and saw us off to the bustop.

Two or 3 months later, at the end of a Bible study I had with her, my baby said she wanted to tell me something. Hubby was lying on the couch. My baby said the period I took her to that house, the 15 year old girl was always sucking her vagina. My brain shut down immediately. Her dad jumped from the couch and told her to repeat what she just said. She did. She also said that the girl usually holds her mouth close during the act, and that she beats the girl on the head to stop what she was doing, but the girl refused and beat my daughter back.

I broke down. Hubby had never become so mad at his family to the extent of turning his back on them, to the extent of shutting his dad up, but he did all these because his only child was involved.

The family, they all said my daughter was lying. My question is: can a four year old lie about such? The nature of this supposed lie. I don't think so. But all the family members said my daughter lied. And even the girl denied it.
They are totally refusing to address this. They even after some weeks have codedly believe such happened and have called my husband to beg, hubby said so, I don't know if it's true or not. But me the wife, NOBODY, I REPEAT, NOBODY CALLED ME. Like I am nothing in their eyes. Not even the evil mother that insisted my daughter spent some days with them. It's not like if they called me to apologize it would change the past, no, but I might have some tiny relief.

My daughter talks about that experience till date. Even up till yesterday. I am beyond heartbroken. I can't forgive.

The family all turned their face away. Nobody cared to address it, even his parents. I'm thinking of going to their church to expose her because I hear the 15 year old girl is getting baptized next week. Hubby told me to forget about it, his brother told me not to try it. But anytime my daughter remembers this incident and brings it up, I become very disturbed. I don't know what to do.

Please advise me.

Tegabadguy:
just let go

mariahAngel:


Hehe!
Are you kidding!?

Tegabadguy:
No..... she can't change any thing

mariahAngel:


Why wouldn't she remind her mum to go beat up her offender, when she was deeply offended, beyond what her innocent mind could bear?
Are you saying that she could be lying?
Do you know the number of children that have been molested, but are too afraid to speak up?
That little girl was brave to speak up, and they mustn't allow that bravery to be in vain.

MsJackson:
we're presently at my mum's house. Mum just told me my daughter came to meet her in the shop yesterday and told her that the girl told that her vagina was sweet. Imagine that.

mariahAngel:


Aggressively probe a 4yr old?
For what?

nairamaniac:


No offence my dear, but U are acting like a real typical Nigerian.
Always running from a particular nucleus of discussion when they feel they are losing out.


1. You questioned my phrase when I use *AGRESSIVE PROBING*. You added *A 4YEAR OLD CHILD*

2. I said if the 4 year old is strong enuf to suggest beating to the other child then she is strong enough(old enough) for AGRESSIVE PHYCOLOGICAL PROBING.

Meaning, she should be well probed and shown consequences that would befall of her if she is lying.
CONSEQUENCIES like that same beating she suggested on the ACCUSSED CHILD.


3. I was expecting you to stick to the line of our communications but you just jumo out from inside the debate ground, enter market dey cry for jungle justice against me

Where did all these other things you are saying here come from?

My dear, stick to *MY LOGICAL REASON WHY THE 4YEAR OLD CHILD SHOULD BE AGRESSIVELY PHYCOLOGICALLY PROBED*.

AND ALSO STICK TO WHY I FEEL THE 4YEAR OLD IS RIPE ENOUGH TO BE AGRESSIVELY PROBED.

dalass:


You dey reply a maniac?

Meaning he's a psychiatric case

He even dey type epistle give me.

All these " unfortunately, there's nothing you can do, since there was no penetration to prove it" I swear, I no get.

mariahAngel:


You seem like the type that'll tolerate anything for "peace to reign".

nairamaniac:

No it's not increminsting enough. People behave remorseful for several reasons. The other family/home may have a higher need for the relationship between both families than this particular has for the ACCUSSED-FAMILY.
The woman and her husband have already compromised the issue&investigation by throwing the entire family of the accused under the bus as a first-reaction.
Such reactions by this OP can instigate the Other family to start * BEHAVING CODEDLY AS THOUGH THEIR CHILD IS GUILTY*.

mariahAngel:


He even dey type epistle give me.

All these " unfortunately, there's nothing you can do, since there was no penetration to prove it" I swear, I no get.